Hire a wino

Subject: RE: Hire a wino
From: Frank in the swamps
Date: 07 Oct 98 - 07:52 AM

Aah s#*t, I thought for a minute there I'd found the perfect job.

Frank in the Shwamps.

Subject: RE: Hire a wino
From: Arizona Roy K
Date: 07 Oct 98 - 05:05 AM

(another from the "songs so bad they're good" category?)

Subject: RE: Hire a wino
From: Bradley Olson
Date: 07 Sep 98 - 09:58 AM

Gene,

You have posted the correct lyrics. You can find "I'm Gonna Hire a Wino To Decorate Our Home" on David's out of print LP Family's Fine but Friends All Mine on Warner Bros. It can also be found on many budget various artists compilations, K-Tel's compilation of Frizzell & West recordings "Greatest Hits-Alone & Together" and on Time Life's The Early '80s Pure Gold CD as part of their "Contemporary Country" series. The various artists compilations and the Frizzell & West CD can be found in record stores, but the Time Life CD can only be bought if you subscribe to their "Contemporary Country" series. You can order this and all other Time Life series in print at http://www.timelife.com

Sincerely,

Bradley Olson

Subject: Lyr Add: GONNA HIRE A WINO TO DECORATE OUR HOME
From: Gene
Date: 14 Apr 98 - 03:29 PM

Found these by David Frizzell...didn't compare them to the actual recorded version. Will check and REPOST any corrections.

I'M GONNA HIRE A WINO TO DECORATE OUR HOME
(Recorded by David Frizzell)

I came crawlin' home last night
Like many nights before
I finally made it to my feet
As she opened up the door
And she said
"You're not gonna do this anymore."

She said, "I'm gonna hire a wino
To decorate our home
So you'll feel more at ease here
And you won't have to roam
We'll take out the dining room table
Put a bar along that wall
And a neon sign will point the way
To our bathroom down the hall."

She said, "Just bring those Friday paychecks
And I'll cash 'em all right here
An' I'll keep on tap for all your friends
Their favorite kind of beer
And for you, I'll always keep in stock
Those soft aluminum cans
And when you're feelin' macho
You can crush 'em like a man."

She said, "We'll rip out all the carpet
Put sawdust on the floor
Serve hard boiled eggs 'n pretzels
And I won't cook no more
There'll be Monday Night Football
On TV above the bar
And a pay phone in the hallway
When your friends can't find their car.

She said, "You'll get friendly service
And for added atmosphere
I'll slip on something sexy
And I'll cut it clear to here
Then you can slap my bottom
Everytime you tell a joke
Just as long as you keep on tippin'
Well, I'll laugh when you're broke."

She said, "Instead of a family quarrel
We'll have a barroom brawl
When the hands there, say it's closin' time
You won't have to crawl
And when you run out of money
Then you'll have me to thank
You can sleep it off next morning
While I'm puttin' it in the bank."

She said, "I'm gonna hire a wino
To decorate our home
So you'll feel more at ease
And you won't need to roam
Then when you and your friends get off from work
You'll have a powerful thirst
Well, there won't be any reason why
You can't stop off here first."

Subject: RE: Hire a wino
From: Newfoundlander
Date: 13 Apr 98 - 07:43 PM

It used to be on the radio here in Newfoundland about 12 years ago, and it was sung by a woman. Thanks Folks for the response.

Subject: RE: Hire a wino
From:
Date: 12 Apr 98 - 10:15 PM

I seem to recall that when this was on the radio it was sung by a man or group of men, not a woman.

Subject: RE: Hire a wino
From: Michael Rowsell
Date: 12 Apr 98 - 01:43 PM

My sources have informed me that the song has been sung by Shelly West, daughter of Dottie West.

Sorry I can't help you with the album. (of course, by the time you get this, there will probably be 500 responses telling you everything about the song, its background, who the sound engineer was, etc. etc. etc.)

Subject: Hire a wino
From: Newfoundlander
Date: 12 Apr 98 - 12:51 PM

Would like to know who sang the song I'm Gonna Hire A Wino and where I might purchase it.