BS: and it gets even better

Subject: and it get's even better
From: Amergin
Date: 04 May 02 - 01:13 AM

well...it get's even better...I just got home...and my mom informed me that my paternal grandfather has lung cancer....this is a really fine man...although i am not his grandson by blood...(his son is my stepdad...the only father I have known)...he has always treated me like his own...please praay for him or whatever...keep him in your thoughts...this thing i gather is growing fast....thank you...

nathan

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 04 May 02 - 01:27 AM

Done! My prayers are with him, you and your family as I type this.

Stephen

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Escamillo
Date: 04 May 02 - 05:47 AM

And my prayers too, Nathan, from the other side of the world but feeling part of this community, especially when in grief. I know this.

Un abrazo - Andrés

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: kendall
Date: 04 May 02 - 07:54 AM

This place is a wellspring of healing energy. Let's turn it on.

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 May 02 - 07:57 AM

Nathan, I know it's really piling up on you now and I wish I had something that could help, but there is little good in anything I say........It's a tough time. But I do "know" you and I know the strength you can muster. Your strength comes from your loving and compassionate soul. I have read your songs and your writings here and the real person comes though so clearly.......You cannot hide what is inside when you write so eloquently and with such depth.

Within a 5 year span from the time I was 18-23 I lost all of my immediate family, parents and grandparents. My love life was up and down as yours is now too. With all of that, you'd think I'd have some great advice or wisdom to pass on...........but I don't. You will weather this storm(s) and life will go on. It will never be the same, but then again, it never is. For whatever it's worth, you know we are all here and supporting you......and I will hold good thoughts for your grandfather and the rest of your family as well. If you want to talk anytime, PM me and I'll give you a call. We love you here and we know the person you are. Stay strong.

All My Best,

Pat

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 04 May 02 - 08:25 AM

Prayer is a powerful thing. Add mine to the list.

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 02 - 09:43 AM

Dear Amergin:

Sounds like you are entering a real whirlpool of rough and interesting times, changes of magnitude, upheavals and trying realities.

My prayers are for the best possible outcomes for you and yours.

Find your center and hold it, ride the storm, and breathe deep. These apparent endings are also the beginnings of good futures, awful though they seem from within.

Ride as lightly as you can, bud.

A

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 May 02 - 10:08 AM

What Spaw said...and, may we please have your granddad's first name? It helps when offering up gratitudes, thoughts, etc.

Holding you and your family in the Light,

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Amergin
Date: 04 May 02 - 11:06 AM

Sorry...his name is Irvan...

thank you all..

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 May 02 - 12:10 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Amergin.

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Hollowfox
Date: 04 May 02 - 06:19 PM

The candle is lit for you anf yours, and of ocurse my thoughts and prayers go with it.

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Bobert
Date: 04 May 02 - 06:39 PM

I'm so sorry to read of your grandfather's diagnosis but, hey, the Lord gives us each day to live and that means you and your family will have many more to spend with Irvan. I lost one of my best college friends to cancer but the times I remember most vividly were the times I spend with him after the diagnosis. None the less, I will keep you, Irvan and his family in my thoughts and prayers.

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Micca
Date: 05 May 02 - 06:22 AM

Amergin, good positive thoughts and energy for Irvan from here too, Micca

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Tweed
Date: 05 May 02 - 07:35 AM

Nathan, don't know you and you don't know me, but I do know the turmoil you're experiencing. Stay on the sunny side and remember that you'll only be loaded up with as much as you can bear to carry. You'll get stronger and the load will seem to become lighter after a time. Thoughts and energies with you and yours.

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Amergin
Date: 06 May 02 - 01:53 PM

Thanks everyone it is really much appreciated.....

Got a little bit more information on it this morning...

I guess they will not operate because he has small cell cancer...which I guess means it is inoperable because when you cut into it, the cancer just goes wild...

A tumor is also pressing against his voice box....making it difficult to speak...

The doctor says that he will be on chemotherapy...for a very long time...which I gather means til the end...

And now I guess because of the chemo he will be undergoing....it will destroy the medicine that he needs to keep his heart regulated...he takes coumadin...he will still have to take it...but he will have to watch his heart even more,....

once again...thank you my dear friends.

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: Hippie Chick
Date: 08 May 02 - 10:11 PM

My prayers for you Nathan and for your grandfather. Peace be with you.

HC

Subject: RE: BS: and it get's even better
From: alison
Date: 09 May 02 - 12:43 AM

good thoughts, prayers and big hugs from all the way over here in Oz too

love

jiggles

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: SharonA
Date: 09 May 02 - 12:15 PM

Geez, Amergin, I didn't see this thread till today. I'll be keeping Irvan, Dorothy, you and your family in my thoughts. Keep taking those deeeeeep breaths.

Hugs, and lots of 'em,
Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: GUEST,Pete Peterson
Date: 10 May 02 - 08:14 AM

hugs, lots of them. (as others have said). Two contradictory statements. (1) as Yogi said, it ain't over till it's over. (2) if RECOVERY is unlikely, can you ask what can be done for maximum quality of life in the time remaining? In particular, why ravage the body with chemo if it won't do anything except delay briefly, if that? How old is he? As for you-- I know this is rough-- hope you will do things that will leave you feeling better about the things YOU did.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Hawker
Date: 10 May 02 - 08:27 AM

Thinking and praying, for all of you!
Lucy }}};0){{{

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Amergin
Date: 11 May 02 - 12:32 AM

Thank you....got more news and none of it any good...

The cancer has spread throughout his body....including his brain...do not know whether he will undergo the treatment or not....though....jesus...thank you....

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 May 02 - 09:14 AM

Aw hon.

Keep telling us about what you love about this man, and don't duck feeling ALL of it there is to feel... you'll come through in better shape if you let it all flow in and right back OUT. But also, get away from it, outside it, for some time every day.... MAKE yourself do some things that are good for you, even if they do not FEEL good right now-- they will build you up so you can bear this, and let your mind rest between the troughs of grief.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Amergin
Date: 15 May 02 - 03:00 PM

more news...if the cancer had been in only one part of his brain he would have had a 20% chance of living....but it is spreaad throughout....he has no chance....he's going to die...

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Kim C
Date: 15 May 02 - 03:20 PM

Oh Nathan,I am so, so sorry. A couple of months ago I found out that a friend went to the doctor with indigestion and came out with terminal cancer. She is still young, and they are trying everything they can... maybe it buys her another day, maybe not.

Hugs to you. Keep us posted.

Love,

Kim

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Steve in Idaho
Date: 15 May 02 - 03:22 PM

My crew is with you pardner. I'll sing a slow soft spiritual for you guys this evening -

Steve, Mz J, and the S Bar J crew.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Deda
Date: 15 May 02 - 03:37 PM

Dear Nathan -- We don't know each other but I'm really sorry to read about this, particularly coming as it does as at a rough time for you anyway. Seems like you're going through a lot, and you have my sympathy and my prayers.

Rebecca

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 May 02 - 03:40 PM

Not much I can say Nathan.......You know how I feel. Big Spaw hugs to you.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: AliUK
Date: 15 May 02 - 06:47 PM

Nathan, I would just like to add my thoughts and prayers too the others and hope that your grandaddy has an easy end, through the love of you and your family he will get all the strength a little of the peace that he needs at this end of life. I can imagine what you are feeling as I lost my grandmother at the beginning of last year and it was a trial because I loved her so much. But I know that both she and my grandfather are here by my side in all that I do and that, although I can't pick up the phone and talk to them I know that they hear me when I speak. God be with you and your family
Alistair

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: hesperis
Date: 16 May 02 - 01:20 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{Amergin}}}}}}}}}}}}

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: SharonA
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:05 PM

More hugs from here, too. Hang in there, Nathan. Keep on letting your grandfather know what he means to you, and cherish this chance to say farewell. May he have an easy end, as Ali says, and find peace and comfort in the love of those he has taken in as his family.

Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:36 PM

amergin, I'm sorry to hear about your misfortune. My advice is get to know the old guy as deeply as possible. Find out his history, what he thinks about, his fear regarding death, everything that you want to know and that he wants to share. It would probably be good for both of you.

Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: alanabit
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:45 PM

I can't say much useful, but I am sure you will give him the best you can. Thinking of you. Alan.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 May 02 - 05:33 PM

Oh Amergin, what can I say....?

XXX

Take care.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 May 02 - 05:46 PM

Keep your eyes peeled for the miracles that happen in a time like this-- the healing of relationships and old, painful memories; the courage suddenly found by the timid; the words to say what's been in the heart for a long time... Amid all the awfulness, you will see later as you look back, that there were some moments that you would not trade for anything.

Dying, and having those we love leave us.... it's all part of this wacky thing called human life. We are actually wired to get through it. You will know what you need to do, and what others need from you. All you need to do is act on it when such moments come. Trust yourself, and everyone involved, to get through this. Just keep loving everyone, like I think is your specialty on this planet to do, and keep writing about it, too, now and later.

And like I have told you before.... feel ALL of it. Don't duck feeling it, because the saved-up feelings are what getcha later. You CAN get through this, even though it will feel quite awful most of the time. (You are earning your gray hairs now. I bet your grandfather earned his, too.)

This is also a good time to feel your way through any old feelings that glom onto this new experience. Take those moments of healing, sweetie, and call on us as you need to, to process it or go through it with you. Still got my number? Use it. Trust me-- we are good with this stuff, over here. *G* I'll let Hardiman know you might be calling, in case you get him and not me sometime. Don't worry about the hour-- we are up late, and we don't mind waking up to hold people's hands, either.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 17 May 02 - 12:18 AM

Nathan, there's no eassy way to cope with it. Just do what you do, be thankful for the goodtimes with your grandad, and remember them. My sympathy and best wishes, to you both.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: CarolC
Date: 17 May 02 - 01:38 AM

I'm very sorry to hear about this, Amergin. I'm sending my best thoughts and wishes to you, your grandfather, and your family.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:11 AM

We thank you all for your prayers and support...I just got home from work and got some news....and it is not good...my opa is dying...his spirit will be leaving in a few days....

thanks you.

nathan

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Tinker
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:22 AM

I wasn't around when this began... but blessings and hugs being sent your way ... you and yours will stay in my prayers...

Tinker

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:12 AM

It is the way of all flesh.

Be thankful and use the remaining hours/days of his life carefully and prudently, he has wisdom and stories to be shared.

An auto wreck is quick and leaves no closuer - in this instance celebrate his life and ask questions. Focus on him - not yourself.

Sincerley,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:14 AM

Ignore WYSIWYG she is full of herself.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:39 AM

{{{{{{{{{Amergin}}}}}}}}

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:48 AM

Thanks for letting us know, Nathan. I've got you both on my list for lightwork, tonight and over the next few days.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: gnu
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 07:00 AM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Neighmond
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:11 PM

Denomi vobiscum, pax vobiscum, lux Denomi vobiscum, ad infinitum.

And the people said Amen

and

Amen.

Chaz

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: GUEST,nathan
Date: 26 Feb 03 - 01:55 AM

thank you all for your prayers and well wishes...it's over now. We were all with him.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: stevetheORC
Date: 26 Feb 03 - 04:16 AM

Dear Nathan,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you in this moment of sorrow and pain. We too have just lost someone close so we share your feelings of deep sorrow.
Please give our Love to your family.


Steve (Orc) and Nikki (Pushkin)

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 26 Feb 03 - 05:13 AM

Thinking of you.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Kim C
Date: 26 Feb 03 - 10:09 AM

Here's a hug for you. (((bighugforNathan)))

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: GUEST,amergin
Date: 26 Feb 03 - 04:19 PM

thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Feb 03 - 05:40 PM

I'm so glad you were all with him. Last summer I lost a sister- and every time I look at her picture now I remember how peacefully she went and how glad she was that we were there. From there I can go on to happy moments and remember her in her prime. (Although I suspect that she is now in her prime.)

{{{{BIG HUG }}}}

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: smallpiper
Date: 27 Feb 03 - 12:14 PM

Gods Bless Nathan
John

Subject: RE: BS: and it gets even better
From: Hollowfox
Date: 27 Feb 03 - 02:15 PM

I add my thoughts to those posted above.