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BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements

Haruo 16 May 02 - 01:55 AM
Haruo 16 May 02 - 02:18 AM
Banjer 16 May 02 - 02:32 AM
GUEST,ozmacca 16 May 02 - 02:40 AM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 16 May 02 - 02:48 AM
Haruo 16 May 02 - 02:50 AM
Haruo 16 May 02 - 02:57 AM
GUEST,ozmacca 16 May 02 - 02:57 AM
Genie 16 May 02 - 03:20 AM
Genie 16 May 02 - 03:49 AM
Dave the Gnome 16 May 02 - 03:59 AM
Genie 16 May 02 - 04:02 AM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 16 May 02 - 04:36 AM
DMcG 16 May 02 - 04:41 AM
fogie 16 May 02 - 04:51 AM
katlaughing 16 May 02 - 04:56 AM
Mark Cohen 16 May 02 - 05:07 AM
Bat Goddess 16 May 02 - 08:05 AM
GUEST,T-boy 16 May 02 - 08:16 AM
The Walrus at work 16 May 02 - 08:19 AM
guinnesschik 16 May 02 - 09:16 AM
Micca 16 May 02 - 09:19 AM
DMcG 16 May 02 - 09:24 AM
Kim C 16 May 02 - 09:47 AM
Peg 16 May 02 - 10:10 AM
Mr Red 16 May 02 - 10:28 AM
Nigel Parsons 16 May 02 - 10:32 AM
Mr Red 16 May 02 - 10:35 AM
Mr Happy 16 May 02 - 10:40 AM
Davey 16 May 02 - 10:49 AM
Micca 16 May 02 - 10:56 AM
lamarca 16 May 02 - 11:08 AM
Haruo 16 May 02 - 11:24 AM
lamarca 16 May 02 - 11:30 AM
Mr Red 16 May 02 - 11:34 AM
Devilmaster 16 May 02 - 11:43 AM
Blues=Life 16 May 02 - 12:00 PM
GUEST,Pete 16 May 02 - 01:10 PM
Don Firth 16 May 02 - 01:14 PM
Kim C 16 May 02 - 01:33 PM
Bill D 16 May 02 - 01:37 PM
The Walrus at work 16 May 02 - 01:38 PM
Pseudolus 16 May 02 - 01:49 PM
Art Thieme 16 May 02 - 02:12 PM
Bat Goddess 16 May 02 - 02:27 PM
Lonesome EJ 16 May 02 - 03:12 PM
GUEST,Just Amy 16 May 02 - 03:30 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 02 - 03:51 PM
CapriUni 16 May 02 - 03:57 PM
Don Firth 16 May 02 - 04:45 PM

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Subject: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Haruo
Date: 16 May 02 - 01:55 AM

This is sort of like the Funny Road Signs thread. However, what triggered this one was a sign (not a road sign) I saw today about three blocks from Seattle's Space Needle, which said (give or take a word or two)

NO TRESPASSING

ALL ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES
PROHIBITED
ON THIS PROPERTY


(I have seen a very similar sign before, in downtown Seattle.) Seems like a big waste of signage; after all, illegal activities are by definition prohibited, and not only on properties so signed. As my roommate said, "Maybe they think it will deter illegal activities on the part of people who believe illegal activities are prohibited only if they see it in writing."

It reminded me of another sign, which I may have mentioned here some months back, on the Key Bank branch at 45th & Brooklyn that warned "WARNING: YOU ARE BEING VIDEOTAPED FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION!" (Note: this was pre-9/11! I think that's just about on a par with the Microsoft message that says "WARNING: You are about to send a message over a secure Internet connection. What you send cannot be seen by anyone else.  Never show me this message again." I mean, come on; not that I believe them, but if it is true, then why do they waste their bytes and my time "warning" me about it? Sheesh, as Xena might say.

I'm wondering if anyone has made musical use of any of these kinds of notices after the fashion of Mark Cohen's Apple Maggot Quarantine Round (or after any other fashion, for that matter).

Liland


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Haruo
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:18 AM

Already found another one: this article from the Hindustan Times has a little ad at the upper left that reads "WARNING - Claim your free prize!".

Liland


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Banjer
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:32 AM

Some of the ones I have in my collection are:

RESTROOM with a small sign right next to it saying KEEP OUT by order of the Sherrif's Dept.
This combination was seen on a public restroom at a local flea market.

My other favorite was seen at the local bank drivethru:

For the convenience of our customers, counter documents may no longer be obtained through the drive thrus.

This basically tells me thah for MY convenience, if I need a counter document such as a withdrawal or deposit slip I must park my vehicle, go into the bank and demand such an item. This makes it more convenient??? Ah yes, it's a strange, strange world we live in, Master Jack.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: GUEST,ozmacca
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:40 AM

Banjer, the bank announcement which sticks in my mind, not to mention my craw, was one a few months back when one of our major Australian banks announced its' intention to reduce staffing levels and close a number of country branches... "to enhance our customer service capability"... Eh?

And how about those wonderful little instructions appearing on everything. Seen on a packet of peanuts recently... "1 - Open packet. 2 - Eat contents"


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:48 AM

wet paint.


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Haruo
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:50 AM

How horrible. "Eat contents"... what if you need the peanuts for some other purpose. Will you get in trouble if they see you not eating them?

Liland


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Haruo
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:57 AM

I notice Boeing doesn't want to let us look at the picture of the Space Needle I tried to link to (in my initial post in this thread). Here's the page with the picture (I was trying to just get the picture).

Liland
Fixed it.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: GUEST,ozmacca
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:57 AM

Imagine trying to do things the wrong way round...... Gee, this packet's chewy, Oh and pass me the nut-cracker


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Genie
Date: 16 May 02 - 03:20 AM

Liland, Years ago when I lived in a townhouse complex I planted a vegetable garden and promptly got a letter from my management stating that if I did not remove it they would be "forced to take appropriate action." I was SO tempted to write back to them saying, "Do you mean that if I DO take it out you will take INAPPROPRIATE action?"

Genie


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Genie
Date: 16 May 02 - 03:49 AM

Two more I can recall at the moment.

•Every vitamin bottle I get has one of those little paper packets or plastic covered packets of grainy stuff (silica?) that absorbs moisture to keep the other contents dry. In big letters on each packet it says "DO NOT EAT." It's hard for me to imagine how anyone old enough to read could think of eating one of them! ( I suppose some of these silly signs are just lawsuit protection.)

•Sometimes I find signs on the inside of doors at the outer walls of buildings saying "DO NOT ENTER." They mean "Do not go through this door from this side," of course, but I always wonder why they do not just say "Please use other door" or (if you're not supposed to go out that door at all) "NO EXIT." What would you be "entering" if you went out of the building through that door?

Genie


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 May 02 - 03:59 AM

Folk connection - Fleetwood, the home of Fylde folk festival had for many years the most riduculous signs. For example

1. This pier is open all year round from November 1st.

2. These toilets are fitted with anti-climb

and - in a glass fromted office in the market hall -

3. this is not a ladies toilet

The mind boggles!!!

Cheers

Dave the Gnome


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Genie
Date: 16 May 02 - 04:02 AM

An announcement that has become all too common:

"Save Up To 50%--and MORE!"

Genie


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 May 02 - 04:36 AM

smoking cigs is bad for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: DMcG
Date: 16 May 02 - 04:41 AM

Almost all contracts and invoices have a footnote that says something along the lines of "omissions and errors excluded" i.e. this is the right price unless it isn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: fogie
Date: 16 May 02 - 04:51 AM

New Scientist regularly has lists of these on the next but last page.


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 May 02 - 04:56 AM

on various drive-ups...braille provided for our non-sighted customers...makes one wonder who is driving and why they feel the need to tell us why there is braille on the menu!


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 16 May 02 - 05:07 AM

Thanks for the plug, Liland...and for posting the correct tune! This is a little more subtle, but lately I've noticed a number of telephone messages that say, "Please be patient. All our representatives are currently servicing other customers." I think they meant "serving"; "servicing" has a meaning which is distinctly inappropriate in this context--well, for most businesses, that is!

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 16 May 02 - 08:05 AM

Chew the card, throw away the gum and save the wrapper.

Years ago in a post office over a table containing one of those horrible non-working chained pens was a sign detailing the punishments for stealing the pen. These included incarceration and a fine of US$1,000. I double anyone, especially me, had any desire at all to steal what had to be one of the worst pens in existance. So I stole the sign.

(Please don't turn me in -- if the PO finds out I also don't use the "plus 4" part of the Zip code, I'm doomed!!!)

Linn


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: GUEST,T-boy
Date: 16 May 02 - 08:16 AM

Well, at least the peanut pack didn't say 'Warning - contains nuts'.


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 16 May 02 - 08:19 AM

My favourite "stupid warning" came on the back of a packet of "Nightol" (a sleeping aid)

"CAUTION: May cause drowsiness...."

Well, if they don't, they're going back.

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: guinnesschik
Date: 16 May 02 - 09:16 AM

And the now famous warning on McDonald's styrene coffee cups: Warning! Contents may be very hot.

Geeze, I hope so; it's coffee after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Micca
Date: 16 May 02 - 09:19 AM

I have always loved the one that appeared on a bottle of a brand of shampoo here in the UK (early 60s I think) "Pour a little shampoo into the plam of each hand" Eh????????


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: DMcG
Date: 16 May 02 - 09:24 AM

My toothpaste says "use a pea-sized amount" - are we talking petit pois or marrowfat, folks?

(Why do we spend time reading these labels, anyway?)


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Kim C
Date: 16 May 02 - 09:47 AM

I mentioned this in another thread a long time back, but here it is again. I used to work in a furniture store and we sold a little occasional table-type thing, just a little round table that you might put a telephone on, or a small plant or something. I was assembling said table when I noticed the sticker on the underside of the tabletop: WARNING! This is a table. Don't sit on it.

And what's an "occasional" table, anyway? Is it only a table part of the time, and morphs into something else?

I got really tickled at an Allegra commercial last night, which said "side effects may include headache..." And I'm thinking, personally, I take allergy pills to AVOID headaches...


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Peg
Date: 16 May 02 - 10:10 AM

Part of the reason for this has to do with liability; we have become such a litigious society that any company with any money should be watching over both sides of its shoulder to see if anyone is going to sue them because of their own stupidity while using the company's product.

Nut allergies are very serious and so labelling products which may contain nuts is fine in my book.

The hot coffee/hot beverage label is stupid, but then again, so was the woman who scalded herself trying to drink a take-away coffee from McDonalds' WHILE DRIVING. She won millions of dollars from her lawsuit as I recall...I think the defense had to do with how she could not possibly have known that the beverage was hot. Sorry, but if you order any type of coffee except "ICED" coffee it is SUPPOSED to be hot.

I remember working at a small thrift shop in Boston and a man slipped on the icy stairs oputside the shop. There was no salt to be had at any of the shops and I was making a sign saying "CAUTION" but he slipped before I put it up. HOWEVER the entire city was covered in a sheet of ice and warnings were all over the weather reports and people were being encouraged to stay inside unless absolutely necessary. But this guy, though he was not hurt in any way (a bit shaken but he walked away) still made noise about suing. The same owner was also threatened with a lawsuit from her babysitter's father: her baby had an ear infection and the babysitter came down with one and so the father was going to SUE! My boss/the owner was almost in tears, forgetting apparently that: 1) the babysitter took the risk of contracting illness when she agrees to babysit any child, and 2) ear infections aren't spread from person to person!

I often see people pretend to be hit by cars backing out, etc. and of course people who make their money winning lawsuits consciously do this and then fake symptoms. Ridiculous.


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Mr Red
Date: 16 May 02 - 10:28 AM

Old Road signs never die they just "Give Way"

In NZ they used to paint the word on the road as well - only trouble is they reasoned we would read the message nearest first so painted the words

WAY
GIVE

never really got use to that one. I think they gave way to the pressure of public disapproval of the silliness!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 16 May 02 - 10:32 AM

Kim C: Les Barker does a monologue by an occasional table. ("On my day off I'm a chair!")

Nigel


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Mr Red
Date: 16 May 02 - 10:35 AM

Peg
I warned a climber going to the Hymalayas that some villagers might shoo chickens under passing cars and then claim compensation on the spot. He was up to those tricks and told me it is not always chickens that they put in the path or vehicles!


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Mr Happy
Date: 16 May 02 - 10:40 AM

kim c

occasional tables- the rest of the time they're temporary traffic lights


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Davey
Date: 16 May 02 - 10:49 AM

Small thread creep....

Kim C asked about an "occasional" table.

Brings to mind Les Barker's poem


I have an occasional table
That's it,over there
You can tell it's an occasional table
Today's it's day off, it's a chair

Sorry for the thread creep, I couldn't resist.

Similar to Liland's first post, I have a plastic milk carton which has a number of good storage uses.
Every time I pick it up I can't help but smile at the notice posted on it, which reads

Illegal use prohibited.

Davey (:>)


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Micca
Date: 16 May 02 - 10:56 AM

In the 60s they made "copies" of whisky in the Far East and faked even the bottle to look like a "genuine" Scotch bottle, I had one that included the phrase" Pressed from genuine Scottish grapes"


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: lamarca
Date: 16 May 02 - 11:08 AM

Peg, people keep bringing up the McDonald's case as an example of a silly lawsuit - what they don't seem to know is that the woman involved required major skin grafts to repair the burn damage, because McDonalds, in spite of numerous warnings, was maintaining its coffee at temperatures in excess of 185 degrees. An interesting summary of the "McFacts" of the case are here.

Basically, industry groups want to maintain the impression of the apparent silliness of this case to lobby for "tort reforms", so that product manufacturers won't be held liable for genuinely defective and dangerous products. The more the public believes that all such warnings are silly, the easier time industries will have avoiding the wretched expense of actually making their products comply with rational safety rules. Remember, you can't rely on manufacturers to "do the right thing" out of the goodness of their hearts when it affects their bottom line - just look at the huge pile of evidence that Ford and Firestone had about the problems with Explorer tires before the story broke to the public and they were forced to make changes...


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Haruo
Date: 16 May 02 - 11:24 AM

The Japanese paint "Stop" on their streets starting nearest one's car and heading forward (i.e. the equivalent of bottom to top if the surface were vertical).

And many coupons, where they used to say "Expiration Date: 30 sept 1991" now say "Expires until Sept 30 2002". "Expires until"???!

Liland


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: lamarca
Date: 16 May 02 - 11:30 AM

Getting off my soapbox, I've been collecting pictures of National Park Service signs that are obviously aimed at the lowest common denominator in our population. My favorite examples:

C&O Canal NP: "Know the dangers of the Potomac River - slippery rocks, hazardous currents. EVEN WADING CAN KILL!" (My husband and I are fond of pompously intoning "Even wading can kill.." at odd moments)

Cache La Poudre River, Colorado: "In case of flooding, climb to safety." Uh, duh?

Padre Island National Seashore:
1. "Danger - blue jellyfish" - no explanation, just those 3 words to warn folks that touching the dead Portuguese Man O'War jellyfish washed up on the beach is really not a good idea (they have a toxic sting that can cause some people to go into anaphylactic shock, even when dead). A few more words on the sign might make that clearer: "Danger, blue jellyfish poisonous. Do Not Touch!"
2. "Report live turtles immediately" What are the live turtles doing that they need to be reported? To whom do we report them - the FBI? (Actually, I know this is because the sea turtles that sometimes come to Padre Island to lay their eggs are endangered, and the Park Service wants to keep track of them and protect them - but does your average beach-going tourist know this, and what would THEY make of this sign?)


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Mr Red
Date: 16 May 02 - 11:34 AM

Liland perfectly logical to me
after that date it no longer exspires - presumeably it inspires! As long as it doesn't exhale - that's OK
OK?


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Devilmaster
Date: 16 May 02 - 11:43 AM

I remember walking into a restaurant and being told (along with it on the specials board) that the special of the day was:

Fish And Chips with Fries.

Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Blues=Life
Date: 16 May 02 - 12:00 PM

Lamarca and Peg, Having been involved in product safety committees for various manufacturers, I can say that there is some middle ground here. The McDonalds case is not that the coffee was too hot (it is, for a variety of reasons)because everyone who has ever tried to drink it knows it's too hot. The case involved failure to WARN. If the cup had said "Warning:Contents Hot", she would not have had a case, because driving with a styrofoam container that contains very hot liquid is stupid, and everyone knows that. But you can't prove that she knew this without being told. Hence the "Do not eat" label on silica gel in your vitamins. "We TOLD you not to eat it" is a perfectly legitimate defense. Common sense is not, and the reason for that is an over-abundence of attorneys in the USA. We have become a nation of "Can't be my fault"ers. Anything bad that happens must be someone else's fault. Again, the truth is somewhere in the middle. I am not for the abolition of product safety lawsuits, by any means. If a defective product hurts someone, then the company responsible should be held liable. I also believe that frivolous lawsuits should be punishable too. If an attorney files a ridiculous lawsuit, hoping for a go-away settlement, I wish that judges could fine THE ATTORNEY for wasting the courts time, and make the attorney responsible for all fees on both sides. (Not for losing a lawsuit, but for fileing riduculous ones). No, I don't know what standard we should use, but it is needed. One of the major lawnmower companies had to pay damages to two idiots who picked up a running lawnmower and used it to quick trim a hedge. One of them stumbled, both lost fingers (duh!) and they won the lawsuit because nowhere in the LAWNMOWER instructions did it say DON'T TRIM HEDGES. (Look at the operating instructions on any new mower, it will say something like "for use on lawns only!") If there had been a common sense law, the lawyer who filed this one should have been punished. Blues


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: GUEST,Pete
Date: 16 May 02 - 01:10 PM

In BT telephone exchange toilets we used to see the sticker "WARNING HOT WATER SUPPLIED AT HIGH TEMPERATURES" My other favourite is the public slipway in Cowes on the Isle of Wight which carries the warning "CAUTION SLIPPERY WHEN WET".Isn't that the whole idea?


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Don Firth
Date: 16 May 02 - 01:14 PM

To shed a bit of light (or possibly to add to any confusion) on the McDonald's coffee case:—

Once some years ago I bought a burger and a large cup of coffee at a McDonald's drive-up window. I had accumulated several of McDonald's pressed paper trays, complete with depressions to hold cups. I set the cup in one of the trays over on the passenger seat and drove to a nearby park to eat my lunch. When I got there, I notice that the passenger seat was sopping wet, and when I pried the plastic lid off the styrofoam coffee cup, the cup was empty. The disk-shaped piece of styrofoam that formed the bottom had fallen out. I thought it was just a fluke until a couple of months later my wife and I and a friend stopped at a McDonald's for coffee. As we were driving away from the window, the bottom fell out of the friend's cup, dumping the hot coffee on her legs. She got scalded pretty well and was mightily pissed-off, but she didn't sue. I don't know if that's what happened to the woman who did sue, but I do know that McDonald's had a problem with their styrofoam cups. If you squeezed them a bit, as you had to when prying the plastic lid off, the bottom could drop out.

Noted in the news very recently, a list of the most dangerous things to consume while driving: 1} coffee, 2) soup, 3) chili -- and I can't recall the rest, but they were all things that have a high spill potential (who eats soup when their driving!??).

On to funnier things:—

When I was there, most of the classrooms in the University of Washington music building were equipped with phonographs. The first thing you had to do was lift the lid. Pasted to the bottom of the lid you found a list of instructions, the first of which said, "Lift Lid." The second instruction said "Turn Unit On," and there was a diagram showing the location of the "ON" switch. The third instruction said, "Check to see the unit is plugged in."

Okay. . . .

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Kim C
Date: 16 May 02 - 01:33 PM

Most hair dryers have a safety tag telling you not to use them in the bathtub. Would someone actually do this?

Well.... maybe so. When I was in college, two friends and I were watching some mystery movie where the guy killed the girl by dropping a plugged-in radio into the bathtub with her. A third friend came by and asked what we were watching. When we told her how the murder happened, she just looked at us blankly. How could that kill somebody? she said.

The radio was plugged in! we said.

More blank stares.

And this was college...


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 02 - 01:37 PM

I once knew a woman who made bad decision and eloped with a guy she really didn't know that well, and had it annulled 3 days later....in telling the story, she said that they had stopped to get an 'emergency' ring at a variety store prior to the misguided ceremony, and should have had premonitions because of the label on the inside of the ring...

it said: "Genuine, imitation, Lucite"


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 16 May 02 - 01:38 PM

Don,

"...(who eats soup when their driving!??)..."

Probably the same kind of people who try to drink hot coffee while driving [G]
As for the McDonald's coffee incedent. If the bottom fell out of the cup, that was McD's fult, if the driver dropped coffee on herself either because of her driving or because she spilled it BECAUSE it was too hot, then the fault (IMHO) is hers.
In the UK (many years ago) we used to have the "reasonable person" criterion (If a "reasonable person"{1} could be offended/expected to know etc.) - I don't know what ever happened to it it doesn't seem to be applied much these days judging by some of the court decision.

Walrus

{1} Definition of a "reasonable person" is another matter


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Pseudolus
Date: 16 May 02 - 01:49 PM

Somebody correct me if I'm wrong but the woman in the McDonald's suit put the coffee between her legs when pulling away from the window! That ALONE should have dismissed her case....

A local radio station announced shortly after that incident that McDonald's was going to have a new warning put on the side of the coffee cups saying. "Contents Hot, please allow to cool before applying to crotch area".

Hmmmm, did I really ask fellow Mudcatters to correct me if I was wrong? Talk about unnecessary huh?!?! *BG*

Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Art Thieme
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:12 PM

A sign at the entrance to a property in Chillecothe, Illinois

DO NOT RUN FROM DOG
SOMEONE WILL BE OUT
TO HELP YOU !!!

Art Thieme


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 16 May 02 - 02:27 PM

"Fish and chips with fries" reminded me of one of my pet peeve menu "typo" -- "with au jus". Department of Redundancy and Needless Duplication.

But back to the main subject, a number of years ago I had a tubal ligation because I was tired of being on The Pill and was finally considered to be mature (over 30) enough to decide not to have children. The pre-surgery hospital release form I had to sign stated that the surgery could possibly result in sterility. I should certainly hope so!!!

Linn


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 May 02 - 03:12 PM

I own a Radioshack store, and we get monthly packets of sale tags and other promtional stuff. A packet I received the week before Thanksgiving contained a sign that said "Closed Thanksgiving". Attached to it was an instruction sheet that read "DO NOT display this sign if you are open Thanksgiving".


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 16 May 02 - 03:30 PM

At a bar called the Oar House in Venice California the Men's Room sign says "Ladies Room" and then in little tiny letters "around the corner." The Ladie's Room of course says Men's Room. The drunker you get the funnier these signs seem and no one seems to care.

I was always tickled in England that the Exit signs say "Way out." Why?


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 02 - 03:51 PM

Well, it's true that most dogs are more dangerous when you run, but there are some who are just dangerous, period...

I am tired of seeing doors with signs on them saying "DO NOT OPEN DOOR". Why the hell build a door in the first place if it is not to be opened????

I think that the oval office should be provided with a self-destruct mechanism sufficient to take out the whole building, activated by a small red button with a sign below it saying "DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON!" Could be interesting to see what kind of self-control may be found these days in the halls of power... :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: CapriUni
Date: 16 May 02 - 03:57 PM

As for the hot coffee issue: It's one thing to expect the coffee to be hot, it's another to expect it to be scalding (over 125 degrees F, 52 C).

When I was about 12, I think, I was visiting with a cousin, and she handed me some hot cocoa in an insulated mug. Because the mug was insulated, I had no idea how hot the cocoa was (she might as well have handed me a luke-warm drink). When I took a sip, I scalded my tongue, jumped, and spilled the cocoa in my lap. I had a good sized blister burn (felt bigger than it probably was) that took a couple weeks to heal...

Wouldn't wish that pain on even the thickest idiot. Though I agree: the warning would make a lot of sense if it said: Warning: Contents may scald!


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Subject: RE: BS: Ridiculous Warnings and Announcements
From: Don Firth
Date: 16 May 02 - 04:45 PM

Rest room signs in a rock joint:--

Mens room, "Elton John"

Ladies room, "Newton-John"

Don Firth


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