BS: This Weeks Song Challenge

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Bert
Date: 21 May 02 - 04:14 AM

Well SHIT! I killed this thread good and proper, didn't I? *GRIN* I enjoyed it though!

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Bert
Date: 20 May 02 - 03:07 AM

To the tune of Botany Bay.

Some Guys are grossly incompetant
and can never do anything right
But the worst case that I ever heard about
I read in the paper last night.

Singing Tooralie ooralie ooralie
Tooralie ooralie-ay
Singing Tooralie ooralie ooralie
Tooralie ooralie-ay

You've heard of the depths of ineptitude
But this one exceeds them by far
This Guy broke his tickling finger
While trying to undo her bra.

Singing Tooralie...
Well they hauled him away in the ambulance
screaming and yelling in pain,
and one thing is relatively certain
He'll never get that far again.

Singing Tooralie...

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Amos
Date: 19 May 02 - 01:56 PM

Hey, challenge-oriented folkies!! I understand the support issues involved, and have, as well, a well-rounded attitude in regard to these confiuguration problems, having spent most of my life trying to get ahead of the curve. Realizing that many of you are sensitive to these issues, being gentlemen (and ladies) of feeling, and very much interested in getting in more touch, I am authorized to add a special front-end incentive to the challenge.

The Temple of the Golden Globes, of which I am the founder and chief representative, will admit to the Order of the Boobs, our premiere worship-circle, the songwriter who produces the most appropriate and feeling response to LTS' challenge. The song which gets palmed off as the winner will be prominently featured in the T of the G G Layman's Handbook, in the special supplement section,. "Barriers to Entry -- How to Acheive Worship Anywhere". A free correspondence course in "Braille for Sensitive Males" will also be awarded. If the winner is female, we have made special arrangements with Grumman's Chinese theater for an opportunity to make an impression, and the Temple will pay for the concrete work.

So let's see you push up some curvaceous masterpieces, so to speak, and be sure to get them in under the wire!! This challenge is sure to generate an aureola of dignity and signfiicance which add new form to the meaning of the Digital Tradition!!

With feeling,

Brother Ignatius Godoa Ogle,
Chief Recruiter,
Temple of the Golden Globes
It's not harassment it's a spiritual exercise!! May your cups run over and your meditations prove fruitful"

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 May 02 - 01:39 PM

Hey, us liberated women need some support you know, we get precious little of it from men!!

I'm sort of wondering, was it a back fastening or a front fastening? And what was her reaction??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: CapriUni
Date: 19 May 02 - 01:34 PM

That's the spirit, Dream Weaver! You'll find someone just right for you... maybe a liberated woman who goes bra-less...

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: GUEST,DW at work
Date: 19 May 02 - 12:56 PM

Thank Heaven she dumped me, at least now I won't run the risk of losing an eye or having my teeth pulled out.

Think about it.

Dream Weaver

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 May 02 - 11:35 AM

Pops head round door for one more clever quip & dodges brickbats

Fingers in splints? Just what we need for the Digital Tradition
OK, OK, I'm outa here......

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 May 02 - 11:34 AM

Which one was wearing the bra at the time?
Thinking about it - presumeably this song needs a "hook"
what about that old "Hook & Eye" song?
"Hook & Eye turn to, when nobody needs me?"
I'll get my coat.........

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: CapriUni
Date: 19 May 02 - 09:59 AM

LOL!! Thanks, Gang!! (I needed a good laugh before coffee)

(And it's true, DonD, I'd imagine, statistically, that more guys dare the risks of removing a bra than go about climbing mountains. So if you see a guy with his finger in a splint, what conclusion would you draw?)

Now, what defense is there for us poor gals who where sports bras?

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: GUEST,BS
Date: 19 May 02 - 09:26 AM

Don't forget September 13th. is National topless day, so plenty of practice between now and then is reccomended, your wouldn't like to be seen to fumble in the pub, would you?

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: DonD
Date: 18 May 02 - 05:22 PM

Out on the rockface climbing >

I suddenly lost my grip.>

Bad boots, loose scree, missed timing? >

Down I began to slip. >

I'm a fool, I'm an ass, I sadly thought >

As I felt my finger snap >

And no matter how many rounds I've bought >

My mates will give me crap. >

My mind raced for a way out >

To avoid their ridiculing brouhaha >

Aha, I'm just a clumsy lout >

Who got tangled in a bra.

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Amos
Date: 18 May 02 - 03:52 PM

C-flat:

Bravo!! Cracks me up!! Oh , the memories!! LOL!! Did I spell that right?

A

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: C-flat
Date: 18 May 02 - 03:00 PM

Thankyou Mudelf.

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: C-flat
Date: 18 May 02 - 06:39 AM

Here's a little ditty on the subject, sorry about the lack of line breaks (can someone PLEASE tell how to do it)........................................................

Tonight was going to be the night, he'd courted and he'd woo-ed her
He'd took her to the movies, he'd plied fine wine and food
He'd started to make progress, she'd lost the will to fight,
he'd got his hand into her dress, but she was done up tight!

Attempting to retain his cool, he'd kept a straightened face,
he didn't want to look a fool, so he kept on a pace,
his fingers fumbled frantically, his heart was beating fast,
but then, quite unromantically, he looked at her and gasped

At first she thought "well just my luck, I'll go and fetch some tissue!"
but prematurely going-off was not to be the issue,
in all his desperation, to reveal her comely charms,
his digit had entangled and a pain shot up his arm

Although his tongue was in her ear he couldn't help but shout,
which made her jump, her knee came up, and caught him with a clout,
although the situation was difficult to gauge,
the sudden knee into his groin caused him to dis-engage

But that was easier said than done, he didn't think it through,
to pause for thought is difficult when your balls are turning blue,
now in his haste to struggle free, he slipped and tumbled back,
and at that point was when he heard a dreadful, sickly CRACK

He knew that it was over, it didn't go as planned,
his member hung as limply as the digit on his hand,
"the moments passed" "the pain's too much" it wasn't worth pursuing,
but he silent cursed the bra, that had a hand in his undoing.


line breaks added by mudelf ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: harvey andrews
Date: 18 May 02 - 05:35 AM

A friend of mine insists that when a boy he would practice with one of his mother's bras fastened round a chair which he would sit next to. Then he would snake his arm along the chair back, a la back row of the cinema and learn the craft. He reckons he got it down to two seconds.

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Jeanie
Date: 18 May 02 - 05:29 AM

I was so pleased to find these lyrics on Mudcat ! I soon as I read the news report, I thought of this song. The news report makes fascinating reading:

"Doctors say men run the risk of injuring themselves when they take off a woman's bra. A report in the British Journal of Plastic Surgery says that one patient at St. George's Hospital, London, suffered major ligament damage and a fracture to one of his fingers while completing the task. The man ended up with his finger in a splint for three weeks after the injury, which is commonly associated with rock climbing."

The article also quotes surveys which have found that "40% of men in their 30's and 40's have problems removing bras. Men spent an average of 27 seconds taking off a bra when using both hands. Right-handed men using their left hand averaged 58 seconds, while one volunteer took 20 minutes."

Now, come all you young maidens... mere ligament damage ? Finger in splint for three weeks ? Fend off unwanted attention by taking a lesson or two from Biddy !

(I really want to know where they advertise for volunteers for these experiments. Does anybody know ???)

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Jeanie
Date: 18 May 02 - 05:19 AM

Here it is, copied over from yesterday's revived "Biddy McGrath" thread that most people seemed to have missed:

Now I'll tell you a story that it bound to shock

It's all about a murder on the Rings-end Dock.

I'll tell the story of Biddy McGrath

Who strangled two sailors with the straps of her bra.

With me toor-i-aaa, fol-the-diddle-ahh

Toor-i-oor-i-toor-i-ahh.

They tried to dope her with foreign liquor

But even at that they couldn't lick her.

She remembered she was told by her Ma and Da

To keep both of her hands on the straps of her bra.

She put the straps of her bra around the big fella'neck

And tossed him in the Liffy like a crust of bread.

Then the small fella came up and said 'Hee-Haw'

So she stuffed his gob with the rest of her bra.

She went home that night about a quarter to one,

Happy and contented with a job well done.

She told her story to her Ma and her Da,

They said 'Thank God that you wore your bra.'

Now come all you young girls who like a sailor by night,

Never wear the straps of your bra too tight.

Remember the story of Biddy McGrath -

Keep both of our hands on the straps of your bra.

(From "Ballads from the Pubs of Ireland" - originally posted on Mudcat on the Biddy McGrath thread)

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 18 May 02 - 04:51 AM

Bert

Or indeed Chastity Belts!!

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Jeanie
Date: 18 May 02 - 04:41 AM

Look at the old Mudcat thread I revived yesterday: "Biddy McGrath" - a song about death by bra-strap !

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Bert
Date: 18 May 02 - 04:32 AM

And didn't Chuck Berry have a song like that?

...You can imagine the way I felt,
I couldn't unfasten my safety belt...

Subject: RE: BS: This Weeks Song Challenge
From: Bert
Date: 18 May 02 - 04:31 AM

I can't help thinking it's a good job he didn't live in the days of suspender belts;-)

Subject: This Weeks' Song Challenge
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 May 02 - 04:24 AM

Heard this report on the radio and fell about.... couldn't help but wonder what a song it would make, and of course it has to include the line 'now a warning take by me'...

"A Telford (UK) man broke a finger and tore ligaments whilst undoing his lover's bra strap. He became entangled in the strap whilst engaging in a little romantic foreplay and found himself unable to extricate his hand which was then injured as the elastic pulled. He will be in plaster for up to 2 weeks and will probably need physiotherapy for a month afterwards."

Any takers???

LTS