Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)

Subject: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 02 - 02:27 PM

Alright, all you grisled old folkies whoi grew up twisting and shouting and doowopping. Your challenge is to rewrite the titles and lyrics if you wish of our all-time Gold Platter tunes so they more accurately reflect our current thinking.

Here are some examples, forwarded by Deda:

Baby Boomer Old/new Songs

Some examples:

Paul Simon--"Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver"

Carly Simon--"You're So Varicose Vein"

The Bee Gees--"How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"

Roberta Flack--"The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"

Johnny Nash--"I Can't See Clearly Now"

The Temptations--"Papa Got a Kidney Stone"

Nancy Sinatra--"These Boots Give Me Arthritis"

ABBA--"Denture Queen"

Leo Sayer--"You Make Me Feel Like Napping"

Commodores--"Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"

Procol Harem--"A Whiter Shade of Hair"

The Beatles--"I Get By with a Little Help From Depends"

Steely Dan--"Rikki Don't Lose That Clapper"

Herman's Hermits--"Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"

The Rolling Stones--"You Can't Always Pee When You Want"

Credence Clearwater Revival--"Bad Prune Rising"

Marvin Gaye--I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"

The Who--"Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"

The Troggs--"Bald Thing"

LOL!! Watcha got??

"You Make Me Feel like a Natural Septuagenarian..."

"Diabetes, in the Month of May"

The list goes on....

:>)

Regards,

A

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: greg stephens
Date: 21 May 02 - 03:18 PM

Rolling Stones "Hey you get offa my armchair". Lonnie Donegan " My old man's dead".Fats Domino "I'm being carried to New Orleans".Beatles "When I'm 64"( they had that one ready in advance). Elvis Presley "Old Folks Home Rock". Bob Dylan "With Bag on your Side". Paul Simon "No thanks, Mrs Robinson, I may have liked older women once but there are limits" Bill Haley"Rock till nine o'clock" Chuck Berry "Sweet Little Fifty Six"

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 May 02 - 04:03 PM

I Found My Thrill on Boothill- Fats Domino

Rebel Rouser- Placid Napper

Raunchy- Raised Eyebrow

(The Very) Last Date- Floyd Cramer

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Deda
Date: 21 May 02 - 04:07 PM

(I'm the)Little old lady from Pasadena

We'll have fun, fun, fun till the grandkids take the T-Bird away

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Deda
Date: 21 May 02 - 04:15 PM

The 59th (Cross out "Street") dental bridge song.

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 21 May 02 - 05:00 PM

Well, here's one I wrote (belatedly) in tribute to Mr. Zimmerman for his 60th birthday.

Sonja

Like Bob Dylan, We Are All Aging


Parody Lyrics by Sonja Wilde-Oates © 2001 [e-mail]
Tune: The Times, They Are A-Changing - Bob Dylan © 1963

Come all of you boomers, at work or at home
And admit that the distance around you has grown
And accept it that time will soon ravage your bones.
And your mind has begun disengaging,
Then you'd better wise up, for your cover's been blown,
Like Bob Dylan, we are all aging.

Come, you couch potatoes who depend on Depends,
Admit it's your skin that now blows in the wind.
Seems you've peaked by now, and the young have cut in,
And there's no doubt it's you they're upstaging,
And the memory you lose you may never regain--
Like Bob Dylan, we are all aging.

Come, middle-aged hippies, need I point out
That now it is your body's sagging, no doubt,
And you're easily hurt when you try to work out.
There are battles inside you a-ragin'.
They'll soon shake your dentures and assail you with gout.
Like Bob Dylan, we are all aging.

Come, mothers, fathers, throughout the land,
And admit it is you now who don't understand
Your teenagers' music and their stupid bands;
Your old ways to them are archaic.
Please get off the floor if you're shocked by the dance,
Like Bob Dylan, we are all aging.

The lines, they are growing, as fast as your grass.
You're the slow one now where you used to be fast,
As your promising future is now in the past.
Your star, it is rapidly fadin'.
And the first hairs to fall will not be the last
Like Bob Dylan, we are all aging.

---

Removed 2nd copy of song. --JoeClone

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 21 May 02 - 05:10 PM

Looks like I accidentally cut and pasted two pages, thinking the document was only one page. (So you got a bit of my rhyme search there, too.)

Oops!

If a Joe clone wants to delete all but the song itself, it'd be 'preciated.

Anyway, other titles:

Brenda Lee: "I'm Saggy" Everly Brothers: "Bye, Bye, Chin" (or "Bye, Bye, Buns") Bill Haley & The Comets: "Meds Around The Clock"

Deda, I LIKE that T-Bird one!

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 May 02 - 05:13 PM

Beatles: Please Push me
Stones: Grumpy Jack Flash
Elvis: A whole lot of shakin' going on (still)

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Sorcha
Date: 21 May 02 - 05:14 PM

I knew we were all nuts-o, this just confirms it.........

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 May 02 - 05:16 PM

Mac, wouldn't that be "Grumpy Jack Flush?"

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 21 May 02 - 05:25 PM

Sonja, it looks like you posted TWO VERSIONS of the parody, not a duplicate posting of the same one. Some of the lines are different from one to the other.

Genie

How about "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker"?

I know My Blue Heaven is a pre-boomer song, but how about "My Blue Beehive"? (dedicated to Marge Simpson, of course)

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: GUEST,Melanie
Date: 21 May 02 - 05:29 PM

Tom Paxton: "Bottle Of Tums"

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 02 - 06:13 PM

CS&N: "Our Home,
Is a very very fine Home,
With two docs on the floor,
But the social room's a bore..."

"You've Got to Hide Your Dad Away"

Oh, dear!! This is getting depressing!!! LOL!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Deda
Date: 21 May 02 - 06:37 PM

How about "My blue hairdo"? I was thinking of Blue Hair, instead of Blue Moon. ;o> Thanks all, this is fun. Not the aging, but the songs.

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: GUEST,Van Lingle
Date: 21 May 02 - 07:12 PM

Thirty Days in the Can

Life in the Slow Lane

The Incontinental

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: harvey andrews
Date: 21 May 02 - 07:31 PM

Eddie Cochran "one flight rock" Tom Paxton "hold on to me babe" Everley Bros "bye bye teeth" "Mrs Brown you've got a lovely granddaughter" Beatles "Yesterday..or was it Monday?" For British Health service victims "The trolley song" Elvis "Uh huh..Ow!" Litle Richard "A wop bop a loo...where is it?" Gene Vincent "Be bop a loo..quick..tell me"

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Jeri
Date: 21 May 02 - 07:43 PM

Some JoeClone deleted the 2nd set of Sonja's lyrics before noticing they were different, but I'll bet big bucks the JoeClone saved the lyrics someplace. (Anybody want to take me up on the wager?)

Which set should be up there?

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 May 02 - 08:04 PM

Then there's Dylan's "Everybody Must Get Old" and Buddy Holly's "Everyday I'm a-getting slower"

I'm getting more and more like that sodding Dutchman - "long ago I used to be a young man." But as young John put it "I'm not the only one..."

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 02 - 08:07 PM

Not to mention "Just Like an Old Lady","All Along the Croquet Court", and "Subterranean Retirement Home-Sick Blues".

A

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Big Mick
Date: 21 May 02 - 11:18 PM

"Darling, Prune Juice, soon" Lovin Spoonful

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 22 May 02 - 12:00 AM

Then there's that classic country boomer tune "Please Help Me, I've Fallen."

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 02 - 01:21 AM

ROTFLMAO!! You guys are puree-dee!!

"Your Skipping Heart Will Tell On You...."

A

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 May 02 - 04:21 AM

Mama's gotta brand new bag

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: DMcG
Date: 22 May 02 - 04:27 AM

And don't forget the musicals!

From the Sound of Music we have, some of which need no alteration at all:

I am sixty, going on seventy
How do we solve a problem like Maria? (sung by the grown up children re their ageing parents)

And (black humour alert) So long, farewell, Auf Weidersein, Goodbye

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 May 02 - 04:53 AM

Bit more Lonnie Donegan: "Putting on the Slippers"; "Does your drip lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight"; "Worried Man Blues"(that's OK as it is);"Cumberland Nap"; "Teatime Special"; "I'm Cemetery Bound";"Don't you shock me Sonny-O"; "The Wreck of the Old 97-year old".

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 May 02 - 04:58 AM

Getting addictive, this. How about Cyril Tawney's "Sammy's Tea-Shoppe"?

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 22 May 02 - 05:16 AM

Beatles: "P.S. Who are You?"
The Who: "Pinball Geezer"
Otis Redding: "Waitin' for the Doc of the Day"

Excuse me, but I have to lie down now.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 May 02 - 08:50 AM

"I Can't Get a Rise with You" The Temptations

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 22 May 02 - 08:53 AM

"Stairlift to Heaven" ? "Hand Me Down My Walkin' Cane" "What Becomes of the Bloke Who Farted" and, of course
"My Degeneration"

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 02 - 09:10 AM

LOL!!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Deda
Date: 22 May 02 - 11:07 AM

Sleeping Potion Number Nine.

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 02 - 11:33 AM

The Morning Sun is Shinging Like a Red Rubber Hot Water Bottle.

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 May 02 - 12:01 PM

"Me and Julio Down by the Shuffleboard Court"

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: DMcG
Date: 22 May 02 - 12:05 PM

Elton John's Saturday Night's all Right for a quiet night in with a cup of cocoa

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Amos
Date: 22 May 02 - 12:46 PM

"Over the Hill, and Far Away"

"Thanks for Which Memories?"

"One O'Clock, Two O'Clock, Four O'Clock Pee"

"Shake, Strain and Feed"

"When a Man Loves A Woman, But He Thinks She's Somone Else"

"You, Who Are On the Dole"

"Hit the Elevator, Jack"

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 May 02 - 01:47 PM

Four to four thirty party people

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Deda
Date: 22 May 02 - 02:02 PM

Will you still know me tomorrow?

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 22 May 02 - 02:14 PM

"Tap Turn on the Water(er, will you excuse me for just a moment.. I'll be right back...)"
T-Rex's "Ride a White Bath Chair"
At it's extreme I suppose thre's always "Telegram (from the Queen) Sam"
I have vague memories of an instrumental "light" piece from the early '60s called "Careless Rapture" which I always think of as "Careless Rupture" (so it fits here).

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Jeri
Date: 22 May 02 - 02:20 PM

Yesterday
I remembered where my wallet lay
I can't even find my ass today
But I think I had it
Yesterday

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 May 02 - 02:27 PM

Surely the distinguishing feature of folk music as opposed to say classical or pop music is the way it is transmitted er hang on a minute can't remember what this thread is meant to be about

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 22 May 02 - 02:33 PM

Thanks, Joe Clone. The version deleted above was actually my 'final draft' (to date, anyway), and the one that's still up there is an earlier draft. The only difference, I think is that verses 2 and 3 in the 'final' (or just alternate) version are:

br>Come, you couch potatoes who sit on your cans
(Which keeps your butts wide), youth will not come again
Seems you've peaked too soon, and the young have cut in,
And there's no doubt it's you they're upstaging,
And the memory you lose you may never regain--
Like Bob Dylan, we are all aging.

Come, middle-aged hippies, please heed the signs
That now it is your ways are lagging behind,
And you're easily hurt when you don't toe the line.
There are battles inside you a-ragin'.
They'll soon shake your dentures and addle your mind.
Like Bob Dylan, we are all aging.

BTW, I didn't mean to post that email address. It's still valid, but I've long since forgotten the password for that address, so I can't retrieve mail there.

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 22 May 02 - 02:36 PM

Another country hit:

I Can't Help It If I'm Fillin' Up My Pants

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Genie
Date: 22 May 02 - 02:53 PM

Love it, Deda! You, too, Walrus, Mark C. (and a bunch more of ya)! LMOFAO*

Folks, don't forget

The Memory Song

Genie

*"laughing my old flabby ass off"

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 22 May 02 - 02:57 PM

Tom Jones: It IS unusual Cat Stevens: I love my Guide Dog Led Zeppelin: Bin a long time since I (insert verb) ELO: Hold On Tight Rolling Stones: 4,719th Nervous Breakdown Jimmy Osmond: Long-haired lover with liver spots The Who: Magic Bus Pass Johnny Kid & the Pirates: Creakin' All Over Perry Como: It's Impossible John Lennon: Instant Carnation Spinners: Leaving of Liversalts Mungo Jerry: In the Zimmerframe Dionne Warwick: Do you know the way to (insert noun) Cliff Richard: The Old Ones Yardbirds: For your drugs

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Genie
Date: 22 May 02 - 03:01 PM

Then there's

"Metamucilville" by Jimmy Buffett
"When My Blue Hair Turns To Grey Again"
"A Whiter Shade of Hair"
"Nights In White Diapers"
"How Can I Keep From Going?"
"When Your Liver Has Gone"

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Genie
Date: 22 May 02 - 03:17 PM

"Twist and...OUCH!"

"Flush Dance -- What A Feelin!"

(Sorry about duplicating that Whiter Shade Of Hair, Amos.)

Then there's that old standard
"It seems we've met like this before, but I can't remember where or when."
"Mom, it's me, your son!"

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Gareth
Date: 22 May 02 - 04:12 PM

Then there is that fine old Fred Whitlock song "The Oldest Swinger in Town" How apt!

or -

"Nana Bailey had a Zimmer,
It was always wanting mending
And if nurse supplied the power,
It was shopping in an hour"

"Have you ever saw etc."

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: The Walrus
Date: 22 May 02 - 06:19 PM

Another "Who" song "(Talkin' 'bout) My Old Age Pension" "Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll... Ah well, one out of three..." "Little (Grand)Children" or from the Bay City Rollers "Bye bye braincells (braincells bye bye)"

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Deda
Date: 22 May 02 - 06:52 PM

Hey -- You've got to hide your teeth away....

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: Genie
Date: 22 May 02 - 11:18 PM

"Are Your Teeth Out Tonight? ( I Only Have Eyes For You)

"Do Your Dentures Lose Their Luster On The Bedstead Overnight?"

"I Can't Get No Satisfaction...Without Viagra"

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: MikeofNorthumbria
Date: 23 May 02 - 07:35 AM

And don't forget those early Elvis classics like "Blue Suede Slippers", "Good Waltzin' Tonight", and "Lawdy, Miss...what was your name again?"

Wassail!

Subject: RE: BS: Rewriting the Boomer Songs...:>)
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 May 02 - 08:17 AM

The Rolling Stones / (I Can't Get No) Enema Action
Led Zeppelin / Escalator To Heaven
Bruce Springsteen / Born To Roll
The Beach Boys / Good Defecations
The Beatles / Hey Nurse
Marvin Gaye / What's Going In (The I.V. Song)
Don McLean / American Cream Pie
The Beatles / A Day In The Life
James Brown / I Got You (I Feel Fair)
Jimi Hendrix / Purple Haze (Way ahead of it's time)
The Kinks / You Really Got Me Constipated
Roy Orbison / Oh, Pruney Woman
The Beatles / Let Me Be
Aerosmith / Walkers Are This Way
Marvin Gaye / I Heard It Through My Bel-Tone
Creedence Clearwater Revival / Once Proud Mary
Steppenwolf / Born To Be Mild
Buddy Holly and The Crickets / That'll Be The Day (that I move my bowels)
The Mamas & The Papas / Florida Dreaming
Van Morrison / Brown Eyed Girl
Donovan / Mild Thing
Crosby, Stills and Nash / Suite: Judy Cataract Eyes
Jerry Lee Lewis / Great Balls Of Dough
Bee Gees / Stayin' Alive (perfect)
Elton John / Your Song
Elvis Presley / Heart By-Pass Hotel
Bob Dylan / Tangled Up In IV Tubing
Ben E. King / Sit By Me
Jerry Lee Lewis / Whole Lot Of Nothin' Going On
Spencer Davis Group / Gimme Some Darvon


Spaw