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Song Challenge! - Part 82

Áine 03 Jun 02 - 07:14 PM
wysiwyg 03 Jun 02 - 07:31 PM
DonD 03 Jun 02 - 08:54 PM
Big John 03 Jun 02 - 09:47 PM
McGrath of Harlow 03 Jun 02 - 10:28 PM
Amos 03 Jun 02 - 11:57 PM
Genie 04 Jun 02 - 11:52 AM
Deda 04 Jun 02 - 11:59 AM
MMario 04 Jun 02 - 12:01 PM
Genie 04 Jun 02 - 12:05 PM
Genie 04 Jun 02 - 12:11 PM
Deda 04 Jun 02 - 01:03 PM
Genie 04 Jun 02 - 01:36 PM
Áine 04 Jun 02 - 01:43 PM
GUEST,Bill Kennedy 04 Jun 02 - 01:48 PM
Áine 04 Jun 02 - 01:54 PM
GUEST,Bill Kennedy 04 Jun 02 - 02:14 PM
Genie 04 Jun 02 - 02:25 PM
GUEST,Bill Kennedy 04 Jun 02 - 02:38 PM
mousethief 04 Jun 02 - 03:12 PM
Deda 04 Jun 02 - 03:21 PM
Genie 04 Jun 02 - 03:57 PM
Amos 04 Jun 02 - 05:48 PM
Bradypus 04 Jun 02 - 07:41 PM
Áine 04 Jun 02 - 07:48 PM
Áine 04 Jun 02 - 07:57 PM
Big John 04 Jun 02 - 08:32 PM
Amos 04 Jun 02 - 08:38 PM
Áine 05 Jun 02 - 12:56 AM
Aidan Crossey 05 Jun 02 - 07:35 AM
MMario 05 Jun 02 - 08:36 AM
Aidan Crossey 05 Jun 02 - 12:03 PM
Genie 05 Jun 02 - 12:24 PM
Amos 05 Jun 02 - 04:32 PM
Áine 05 Jun 02 - 06:22 PM
Amos 05 Jun 02 - 06:46 PM
Aidan Crossey 06 Jun 02 - 08:00 AM
Deda 06 Jun 02 - 11:52 AM
wysiwyg 06 Jun 02 - 12:00 PM
Amos 06 Jun 02 - 02:40 PM
Áine 06 Jun 02 - 05:25 PM
Genie 06 Jun 02 - 06:43 PM
Aidan Crossey 07 Jun 02 - 03:46 AM
Genie 07 Jun 02 - 04:33 AM
Aidan Crossey 07 Jun 02 - 05:01 AM
Aidan Crossey 07 Jun 02 - 05:02 AM
Aidan Crossey 07 Jun 02 - 08:00 AM
Genie 07 Jun 02 - 12:10 PM
Deda 07 Jun 02 - 02:18 PM
mousethief 07 Jun 02 - 02:34 PM
Amos 07 Jun 02 - 07:52 PM
Genie 07 Jun 02 - 11:38 PM
Amos 08 Jun 02 - 10:20 AM
Áine 08 Jun 02 - 10:35 AM
Amos 08 Jun 02 - 11:07 AM
Genie 08 Jun 02 - 11:18 AM
mousethief 08 Jun 02 - 08:43 PM
Deda 09 Jun 02 - 03:00 PM
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Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 07:14 PM

Well, I can't let all you Challenge!rs rest on your Chips, now can I? So, here we go again, with a story that proves no matter what bumps life throws your way, you can always keep your sense of humour:


Pair Of Pensioners May Be Punters, But They're Not Prudes! -- A pair of Norwegian pensioners robbed by two strippers say they don't mind because it's a long time since they had so much fun.

Arne and Oystein Tokvam, aged 73 and 80, say they invited the women to their home after meeting in a shop.

The women then did a striptease before saying they needed the toilet. When they failed to re-appear the brothers realised they'd been robbed of £4,600 cash.

"It's too bad about the money, but we just have to take it with good humour," Arne told the Bergens Tidende newspaper. "We're looking at it as entertainment. Very expensive, but absolutely entertaining."

Local police in the small mountain town of Flam in Sogn og Fjordane are taking the theft far more seriously than its two victims.

They cordoned off a large area around the brothers' home and have warrants out for the two women.



Go For It, Challenge!rs!!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: wysiwyg
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 07:31 PM

LOL! Mudcat Fundraiser! *G*

~S~


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: DonD
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 08:54 PM

Oh my name is Arne Tokvam
From the little town of Flam;
I went shopping with brother Oystein
At a shop not far from home.

There were two fair young ladies there
And we began to chat
I said "Oystein's eighty, I'm seventy-three;
What do you think of that?"

CHORUS:

Oy, oy, Oystein -- ain't we having fun?
But it cost a lot for what we got,
When all's said and done!

They said, "Let's go up to your house
We'll show you a thing or two
That you haven't seen in many years
You little old devils, you!"

And true they each one showed us two,
Between them they had four,
Oystein said, "I tell you Arne,
I can't remember having this much fun before!"

CHORUS

The girls laughed too, so hard they cried
They feared they'd wet their drawers.
While they rushed off to the toilet
We were rolling on the floor.

How long they took, we thought it droll,
Midst sniggers and guffaws,
We doubled up when we recalled,
They weren't actually wearing drawers!

CHORUS

Concerned, we went in search of them,
They and the cupboard were bare
All our savings they had stolen,
But we just didn't care.

I said, "Oystein, wasn't this one great day?"
He said, "Arne, you are so right,
'Who wants to be a millionaire' came
To Flom, and met 'Entertainment Tonight'"!

|| CHORUS ||

Did you recognize 'Oh, Susanna'? (Damned if I could fit in Sogn og Fjordane.)



line breaks added by mudelf ;-)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Big John
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 09:47 PM

There's strange things done in the midnight sun whilst looking at the fjiord
But someone out for a bit of fun can easily get bored
Arne and Oystein Tokvan had nothing more to do
So they made a call to the local mall and brought home the Strippers Two.

Arne he was 80 and Oystein 73
But they rose to the occasion when the stripper flashed her knee
And as each girl moved slowly and removed her bra and pants
The brothers reached a climax not seen since the River Dance.

The girls then most politely asked to use the powder room
And the brothers in their innocence did not foresee their doom
The girls took all the money that the brothers has ammassed
The brothers said "Thats our first time and certainly our last"

And now they're back to watching the ice melting in the sun
But you still can see that smile of glee when they think of their night of fun.



line breaks added by mudelf ;-)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 10:28 PM

We went out late night shopping,
My young brother Arne and me,
To celebrate his birthday -
Arnie's just turned seventy three.
We got chatting with these ladies,
Sally Ann and Mary Lou
"Would you like a birthday present,
Will we come along with you."

"Oh now come on ladies,"
I said, "Do not be absurd."
Well I meant to tell them not to come,
But they took me at my word.
And I'm not sure how it happened,
But they were friendly, I repeat
And Sally said "You nice old men -
Would you like a little treat?

And Mary said ""It's warm tonight.
I'm starting to perspire"
So Arnie pulled the curtains
And I turned up the fire
And Sally took her coat off,
As they danced around the living room,
She began by taking off her coat,
And then she took off rather more.

And then they both were dancing
And away the clothing fell
And me and Arnie both agreed,
They were dancing very well.
And naked as a baby,
But rather more mature,
The ladies stood and curtsied.
In a manner quite demure.

Well they said "We've got to freshen up -
We'll be back before you know",
And they slipped out of the living room,
Left us waiting there alone.
And we waited and we waited,
But they seemed a little slow
And we went to find them missing,
They had vanished like the snow.

And we went to find them missing,
They had vanished like the snow,
And so had all our money,
Four thousand pounds or more.
So we told the police about it,
And they cordoned off the town
And they swore that they would help us,
And the villains would be found.

They rounded up some ladies,
And they stood them in a row.
When you wandered up and down the line,
It made a lovely show.
And we made a close inspection
But we still weren't very sure,
So to help us make our minds up,
We inspected them once more.

And they never found the ladies
So we've written off the loss.
But when you're getting on like us,
You don't make too much fuss.
And though that birthday present
It came at quite a price,
Both me and Arnie both agree,
They were very very nice.

spelling correction made by mudelf ;-)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 02 - 11:57 PM

In Old Sogn og Fjordane's Town

Tune: Star of the County Down (Click to Play)


In Sogn og Fjordane's town of Flam, one morning late in May
To the precinct's hall came a sad phone call, well before the break of day!
Though the gent was pert, he said he'd been hurt, by two lassies sly and fair,
Who had shown their stuff from their hair to their muffs, and had suddenly disappeared!

    From Haugesund up to far Femund,
    And from Drammen and Tusenfryd
    No shapely gal that I can recall
    Ever did what those two girls did!

Well, the force rolled out with a rousing shout, flashing lights and sireens
And a score of cops interviewed those Pops who'd been had by the dance-hall queens
They rambled round and they scoured the town, and they blocked all the streets with cars
For to find those dames, those gals of shame, picking up old men in bars!

    From Haugesund up to far Femund,
    And from Drammen and Tusenfryd
    No shapely gal that I can recall
    Ever did what those two girls did!

Now the sergeant bold with his stripes of gold said the men had a  charge to press;
And he noted clear every movement dear, every promise and caress;
But those Tokvam boys said "Belay that noise! And turn off that damned bright light!
Why we called fuzz, well the reason was, could ye get them back for tonight??

    From Haugesund up to far Femund,
    And from Drammen and Tusenfryd
    No shapely gal that I can recall
    Ever did what those two girls did!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 11:52 AM

This one will work with the tune "How Can I Keep From Singing" or "Barbry Allen" or probably several other folk tunes.

Genie

Arne and Ornstein's Excellent Adventure

Near Flam in Sogn where they were born, there were two geezers dwellin'
Norwegian bachelor fishers, they (of herring often smellin').

In all of Scan-di-hoo-vi-a, From Stockholm to Helsinki,
There were no greener rubes than they [and very few so stinky.]

One day they ventured into town, To Flam in Sogn of Fjordane
Two "wild and crazy" Norske dudes in search of fun and fortune.

They met two ladies in a shop where Lutefisk was sold in
The ladies said "How 'bout a date --if we may make so bolden?"

Now all these years they'd had few mates [except for eels and sturgeons]
And so it seems, though long in tooth, the brothers still were virgins.

So Arnie grinned a sheepish grin and asked them home for dinner.
And Oystie chimed, "We're having fish!" [He was a rank beginner.]

Back at the cottage they indulged in fine Norwegian whiskey.*
Their female guests could plainly see the lads were feelin' frisky.

The ladies then began to dance and do the bump and grind there.
Alfhild soon flashed her buxom breasts, and Inga her behind bare.

They boys knew Nature in the raw; they'd never from the truth run,
But they had ne'er seen such a sight. [Remember, they were Luth'r'n.]

So though they blushed in shame to see this dance ecdysiatic,
The thoughts and feelings it provoked were not ecclesiastic.

And while it lasted, they soaked in this pulchritud'nous fauna,
While sinful visions filled their heads -- a foursome in the sauna!

Oh, what a treat for callow eyes--a feast so fine and naughty!
And then the bubble burst when Inga had to use the potty.

The gals retreated to the loo--perhaps to take a shower?--,
But Arn' got wise when they were gone for nearly seven hours.

The brothers found their dinner guests had not gone empty-handed.
Their hard-earned pension stash was gone with those two comely bandits.

And so the bothers called the cops [It was their Christian duty.]
The fuzz would soon be on their tails in search of that hot booty.

Now, looking back, the brothers say, "It cost us many a Krona
When we indulged our fantasies, because we had a boner."

"Watch out for those big city girls--They're likely out to getcha
But Oynstein say It's worth the price. Says Arn', "Ya, sure, you betcha!"

(*Is this any oxymoron?)



footnote added per request by mudelf ;-)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Deda
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 11:59 AM

ROTFLMAO! And I don't say that lightly. This one may be beyond my skill but I'll see what I can scrape together. Whooee, you guys. (Wiping tears from eyes and tea from keyboard.)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: MMario
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 12:01 PM

A collection of winners here! Huzzah!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 12:05 PM

LOL, Don D!

Big John, congrats on that "River Dance...climax!"

Mc Grath, you wrote:
So we told the police about it, And they condoned off the town..." You meant "condomed," didn't you? *g*

Great punch line, Amos (not to mention the infernal... I mean internal rhymes)!

Youse guys writes funny stuff!

Genie


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 12:11 PM

P.S., The asterisk after "Norwegian whisky" in my verse was supposed to take you to a footnote: "Is this any oxymoron?"


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Deda
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 01:03 PM

Here's a song that tells a pretty similar story -- and I'll bet most mudcatters know some version of it.

If the blue clicky fails, here's the URL: http://www.jsward.com/shanty/NewYorkGirls/jesse.html


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 01:36 PM

Yeah, Deda, it's an age-old tale, probably told in some variation in most cultures.

§;- )


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 01:43 PM

Wow! You all are doing a bangup job on this one!!!! Here's the first round of B.L.O.B.s:

To DonD (who we all need to give a great big Howdy! to, as he's a new Mudcatter AND a new Challenge!r -- Howdy DanD!!) for these wonderful witty words:

I said, "Oystein, wasn't this one great day?"
He said, "Arne, you are so right,
'Who wants to be a millionaire' came
To Flom, and met 'Entertainment Tonight'"!


To Big John, for his 'inflamatory' (hehehe) insertion of:

Arne he was 80 and Oystein 73
But they rose to the occasion when the stripper flashed her knee
And as each girl moved slowly and removed her bra and pants
The brothers reached a climax not seen since the River Dance


To McGrath of Harlow, for this masterful (of course) summing up of the story:

And they never found the ladies
So we've written off the loss.
But when you're getting on like us,
You don't make too much fuss.
And though that birthday present
It came at quite a price,
Both me and Arnie both agree,
They were very very nice.


To Amos, apart from his mastery of Norwegian geography, for this verse, full of vim, vigor, and most probably, viagra:

Now the sergeant bold with his stripes of gold said the men had a charge to press;
And he noted clear every movement dear, every promise and caress;
But those Tokvam boys said "Belay that noise! And turn off that damned bright light!
Why we called fuzz, well the reason was, could ye get them back for tonight??


And to Genie, who just cracked up the Keeper of the Book with this oh-so-Wisconsin witicism:

They boys knew Nature in the raw; they'd never from the truth run,
But they had ne'er seen such a sight. [Remember, they were Luth'r'n.]



Well done, Challenge!rs -- Let's keep 'em rolling!!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 01:48 PM

I'm not sure it's worth doing more than the chorus:

'We have to go, Arne, go!'
Said Oystein, 'There's the loo, my stripper.'
and after quite a bit of time,
'I think they've skipped off with our kipper!
Where's our dough, Arne? Oh!'


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 01:54 PM

Well, Bill -- if that's all you've got, that'll do to win a B.L.O.B. -- it's a great chorus, so if you feel so inclined (and I hope you do), please add some verses to it. Here's your B.L.O.B. for:

'We have to go, Arne, go!'
Said Oystein, 'There's the loo, my stripper.'
and after quite a bit of time,
'I think they've skipped off with our kipper!
Where's our dough, Arne? Oh!'



-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 02:14 PM

I am putting in fairly awkward rhymes to more closely match the original song, it's harder thatn rhyming well I think!
We have to Go, Arne, Go!

In Flam in Sogn og Fjordane
Two brothers Arne and Oystein Tokvam
Lived a life of tedious boredom
Quietly counting their small fortune

chorus
'We have to go, Arne, go!'
Said Oystein, 'There's the loo, my stripper.'
and after quite a bit of time,
'I think they've skipped off with our kipper!
Where's our dough, Arne? Oh!'

Now one day Oystein says to Arne
It's been weeks since we went shopping
And I think we're going balmy
With just the two of us for talking

chorus

need I continue?


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 02:25 PM

Áine, (re "... this oh-so-Wisconsin witicism...")

---or maybe Minnesawda, eh?


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 02:38 PM

I think at least 20-30 more verses to tell the story, and maybe a last verse:
Now when the police all have their picnic
and they're drinking all together
When one starts fumbling with his zipper
They shout out'There's the loo, my stripper!
then a rousing final chorus!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: mousethief
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 03:12 PM

Oh! But It's Great to Be Single
04.06.02

Well you've all heard my stories at least twenty times
Of men that squeeze bread and of pigs that thwart crimes
Of children that die and come back as a bird
Of condoms on bobbins, and others I've heard
But now sit and listen as I sing to you
This story I've learned and I swear that it's true
About two old brothers who picked up two maids
And who got quite an eyeful (but didn't get laid).

Singing, Oh! but it's great to be single
And to do just whatever you please
But we hope that those ladies come back for their clothes
For without them, we fear that they'll freeze

It was Arne, 73, and his brother Oystain
Who lived by themselves up in Sogn og Fjordane
In a little town which all who live there call Flam
And who got taken in by a pretty neat scam
Two ladies they met in a shop down in town
Who were svelte and curvaceous and pleasingly round
In all the right places (where gals ought to be)
And who said, "Der isst more if you boys vant to zee!"

Singing Oh! but it's great to be single (etc)

So they headed for home from that wee little store
And Arne felt he needed Viagra no more
And Oystain was starting to feel it as well
When they came to the home where the brothers did dwell
Then one of the gals (named Maria I think)
Said, "You boys yoost sit der vile I make you a drink"
And Marta, her sister, (I think she's called that)
Started peeling off clothes while the two brothers sat

Singing Oh! (etc)

Then Maria came back with the drinks for the boys
Who were breathing so loud their deaf dog heard the noise
And came running in, drooling, just like Arne and Oy
Who called the old hound with an "Ofer here, boy."
Now the girls had got down to the skimpiest bits
Of their clothing, and Oystain was near having fits
He was whooping and hollering to like wake the dead
But Arne, he just sat there, his face turning red

Singing Oh! (etc)

Now the girls were as God clothed them when they were born
And Arnie and Oy sat in awe at their form
As they jiggled and bounced and they danced round and round
Till one of them asked where the bathroom was found
Then they ran off with giggles to visit the loo
As Arne and Oy sat, wond'ring what they should do
But the time it dragged on, and it dragged on some more
Till at last Arne discovered the unlatched back door

Singing Oh! (etc)

Yes the girls they had flown, naked into the night
Then Oystain discovered a thing not quite right
The money their sister had left in her will
Was all gone from the brothers' bedroom window-sill
But "Oh!" said Oystain, "Vat an evening it's been!
Ve'fe got to find soom vay to do it again!"
And Arnie just smiled and looked kind of askance
Said "excuse me," and went to put on some clean pants

Singing Oh! (etc)

©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.
Please feel free to include in the Mudcat Songbook if you think it's good enough, Áine.

line edited per request by mudelf ;-)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Deda
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 03:21 PM

Here's an effort -- to the tune (what else?) of New York Girls , a wonderful chantey.

Oystein and Arne Tokvam, of the little town of Flam
Were shopping for some lutefisk when they fell prey to a scam

Chorus:
To my loves and likings, oh you Vikings,
Oh, you Oslo girls, can't you dance the polka

In their town near Lillehammer, two fair maids they did meet
Who asked if they could see their house, and warm their chilly feet

"Now if you'd like to come with us, our cabin's plain and neat
We'll try to find some hard bread, and a lingenberry treat"
(CHO.)

The girls sat down to visit, but not for very long.
In no time they were dancing round, belting out a song.
They shed their coats and sweaters, and then kicked off their shoes
They danced a little Can Can, and sang a little blues

Chorus

Oystein and brother Arne, their eyes popped open wide
They quickly pulled the curtains closed, lest neighbors peek inside

The ladies were so lovely, so lively and so free
They urged the gents to dance with them, a polka one-two-three
Chorus

"Hey Arne" said his brother, "Your heart – now watch yourself!"
"No, Oystein, thanks – it's not my heart, I'm feeling something else."
They brought out the family brandy, and found it good and strong
The girls had danced so long and hard, they soon had nothing on
Chorus

With dancing, drinks and singing, an hour fled, then two
The ladies asked quite sweetly if they might use the loo
They gathered up their clothing, and blew a little kiss
Said Oystein to his brother, "What would Papa think of this?"
Chorus

They showed the girls the bathroom, after their wondrous strip
Then waited there in such good cheer, they danced a little skip
But after several hours, they had a sense of dread
Their gold watch and their pensions and their lady friends had fled
Chorus

The Constable he promised the miscreants to follow
But Arne said, "Such angels we won't see until Valhallah"
Said Oystein, "Ja, he's right, sir – Don't cause them any grief --
For from this arctic winter, they brought us great relief"
Chorus


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 03:57 PM

Virkelig vidunderlig, Alex!

Deda, in Norway you are "god!" (De er god!)

Click here for translation

Genie


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 05:48 PM

Genie:

Ya,. sure, dot's a very fine song you wrote, dere!! ROTFLMAO!

Deda, dot's vunnerful, ya! And Mouseteef, alzo!!

Vot a gang, huh? Ya, sure!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Bradypus
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 07:41 PM

I don't know why this turned into a counting song ...

The House of the Midnight Sun

There is a house in Norroway
In the land of the midnight sun
It's been the ruin two old men
And Lord, I know I'm one

My brother Arne and I walked out
Just to enjoy the view
And as we walked down Flam main street
We met these ladies, two

The pleasure of such company
Gave us much joy and glee
For I've seen eighty summers, and
Young Arne is seventy three

We took them to our batchelor pad
For aquavit and more
They said 'We'll show you a good time
Just between us four.'

And then those ladies took the floor
And they began to jive
I've never had so good a time
since nineteen forty-five!

Their clothes lay scattered on the floor –
They'd shown us many tricks
'The Stripper' on the gramaphone
And other such musics

Yes, such allure those ladies had
We felt we were in heaven
And then they danced one final dance-
The dance of the veils seven

And then those two excused themselves
And said we'd need to wait
We waited for an hour or more
And sat, and drank, and ate

And then at last the penny dropped –
The money that was mine
They'd stolen every crown we had –
We dialed 999

I still look back on that fine day
Every now and then
Although they duped us, both the pair
Were worth a perfect ten!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 07:48 PM

Hey Bill!!! -- Yes, definitely keep going, your song is starting to take 'shape'. I've put your existing verses and chorus together below. Don't stop now, you're on a roll!! ;-)

-- Áine

We Have To Go, Arne, Go! by Bill Kennedy

In Flam in Sogn og Fjordane
Two brothers Arne and Oystein Tokvam
Lived a life of tedious boredom
Quietly counting their small fortune

Chorus:
'We have to go, Arne, go!'
Said Oystein, 'There's the loo, my stripper.'
and after quite a bit of time,
'I think they've skipped off with our kipper!
Where's our dough, Arne? Oh!'

Now one day Oystein says to Arne
It's been weeks since we went shopping
And I think we're going balmy
With just the two of us for talking

chorus

Now when the police all have their picnic
and they're drinking all together
When one starts fumbling with his zipper
They shout out'There's the loo, my stripper!
then a rousing final chorus!

chorus


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 07:57 PM

OK, Challenge!rs -- the first game in the 2002 Stanley Cup Finals is about to start, so, here are the B.L.O.B.s for this evening (as I will likely be glued to the tube for the remainder of the night):

To mousethief, who should know better than to ask if his song is 'good enough' to be in the Book, the silly boy, for:

Yes the girls they had flown, naked into the night
Then Oystain discovered a thing not quite right
The money their sister had left in her will
Was all gone from the brothers' bedroom window-sill
But "Oh!" said Oystain, "Vat an evening it's been!
Ve'fe got to find soom vay to do it again!"
And Arnie just smiled and looked kind of askance
Said "excuse me," and went to put on some clean pants


To Deda, for such a cockle-warming verse as this:

The Constable he promised the miscreants to follow
But Arne said, "Such angels we won't see until Valhallah"
Said Oystein, "Ja, he's right, sir – Don't cause them any grief --
For from this arctic winter, they brought us great relief"


And to Bradypus, a Double B.L.O.B. for these tee-hee inducing tidbits:

Their clothes lay scattered on the floor –
They'd shown us many tricks
'The Stripper' on the gramaphone
And other such musics

Yes, such allure those ladies had
We felt we were in heaven
And then they danced one final dance-
The dance of the veils seven



Vunderbar!! Now, everyone close their eyes and chant with me, . . . Wings in 5, Wings in 5, Wings in 5, Wings in 5 . . .

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Big John
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 08:32 PM

It's of two frisky Nordic lads this story I'll relate
They went to do the shopping and their Mom said "don't be late
But they forgot the shopping list of swedes and tarts and kippers
And ended up that night instead with Swedish tarts turned strippers.

Chorus:
That night, that night, that night, my boys that night
They ended up that night in bed with Swedish tarts turned strippers.

In truth they had been drinking of a glass or two of wine
And it was great they got home late at twenty five past nine
Ostein and young Arnie brought home a comely pair
With shapely hips, protruding tits and long blond curly hair

Chorus:
Blond hair etc.

The girls accommodated all of Arne's basic needs
And Ostein, not to be outdone just followed Arne's leads
The girls performed a ballet in which all their clothes were shed
While Ostein and young Arne being exhausted went to bed

Chorus:
To bed etc.

And then the girls did something which the programme didn't list
They gathered up the krona when they knew the guys were pissed
And then they took the morning flight straight to the Spanish sun
And now the cops are looking for two strippers on the run

Chorus:
The run etc.

Now Ostein and young Arne's lives will never be the same
They're visited quiet freqently by young girls on the game
"We'll do a strip for a measley tip of just a thousand pounds
And for twenty more, like any whore, we'll do another round

Chorus:
A round etc. ........


Try this to the air of "The Brisk Young Tailor"

line breaks added by mudelf


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 02 - 08:38 PM

Big John's with line breaks:

It's of two frisky Nordic lads this story I'll relate
They went to do the shopping and their Mom said "don't be late
But they forgot the shopping list of swedes and tarts and kippers
And ended up that night instead with Swedish tarts turned strippers.

Chorus:
That night, that night, that night, my boys that night

They ended up that night in bed with Swedish tarts turned strippers.
In truth they had been drinking of a glass or two of wine
And it was great they got home late at twenty five past nine
Ostein and young Arnie brought home a comely pair
With shapely hips, protruding tits and long blond curly hair
Chorus:
Blond hair etc.

The girls accommodated all of Arne's basic needs
And Ostein, not to be outdone just followed Arne's leads
The girls performed a ballet in which all their clothes were shed
While Ostein and young Arne being exhausted went to bed

Chorus:
To bed etc.

And then the girls did something which the programme didn't list
They gathered up the krona when they knew the guys were pissed
And then they took the morning flight straight to the Spanish sun
And now the cops are looking for two strippers on the run

Chorus:
The run etc.

Now Ostein and young Arne's lives will never be the same
Theyr'e visited quiet freqently by young girls on the game
"We'll do a strip for a measley tip of just a thousand pounds
And for twenty more, like any whore, we'll do another round

Chorus:
A round etc. ........

(Try this to the air of "The Brisk Young Tailor" )


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 12:56 AM

Here's your B.L.O.B., Big John, for this 'sweet' verse:

It's of two frisky Nordic lads this story I'll relate
They went to do the shopping and their Mom said "don't be late
But they forgot the shopping list of swedes and tarts and kippers
And ended up that night instead with Swedish tarts turned strippers.



-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 07:35 AM

One of my da's favourite songs was "The Quare Bungle Rye" as sung by The Dubliners. I couldn't resist parodying it here! I'm sure he would have had a quare laugh!

THE COLD SNOWY COUNTRY

In a cold snowy country, where the north winds do blow
There lived two oul' brothers, as well you may know
In search of divarsion, their lives bein' dry
They picked up the phone and called quare bungle rye raddy rye
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye

Says one to the other, his brother Norwegian
"The tales of these lassies I've heard are fair legion
There's one or two tricks that I'd like to try
When I get the duds off thon quare bungle rye raddy rye
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye"

Says the other oul' brother "I know what you mean
For a crack at those kittens I truly am keen
For I've swore to myself that before I should die
I'll partake of the pleasures of quare bungle rye raddy rye
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye"

A ring at the bell and they opened the door
And they never saw such wondrous beauties before
Says one to the other, winkin'his eye
"Shall we swap halfway through the oul' quare bungle rye raddy rye?
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye"

The ladies divested, the ladies disrobed
And off up the stairs with the brothers eloped
To groan and to shiver, to moan and to sigh
And to taste the delights of the quare bungle rye raddy rye
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye

The brothers then under the covers did creep
And tired from their labours, they fell fast asleep
They slept like two babies, and dreamt bye and bye
Of the sweet ministrations of quare bungle rye raddy rye
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye

And then upon waking, it being the next day
To their shock and surprise and at first their dismay
They found the fair maidens had bled them both dry
And away with their savings went quare bungle rye raddy rye
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye

But says one to the other, "Sure who gives a toss?
Think of the profit, don't dwell on the loss
For once we were feeble and now we are spry
After oilin'our joints with the quare bungle rye raddy rye
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye"


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: MMario
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 08:36 AM

hmmmmmm----I could actually use that one!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 12:03 PM

Told from the perspective of the participants … a parody of that oul' come-all-ye "Maids When You're Young, Never Wed An Oul' Man".

WHORES WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG NEVER TRICK AN OUL' JOHN

Two oul' fellas rang our phone, hey ding doorum dye
Two oul' fellas rang our phone, we being young
Two oul' fellas rang our phone, we're feeling so alone
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john

CHORUS
Cos he's got no faloorum fal diddle eye ooorum dye
He's got no faloorum fal diddle eye aye
He's got no faloorum, he's lost his ding doorum
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john

They were grizzled and wrinkly, hey ding doorum dye
Grizzled and wrinkly, we being young
Grizzled and wrinkly, creased-up and crinkly
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john

CHORUS

Their bits like a chicken's neck, hey ding doorum dye
Their bits like a chicken's neck, we being young
Their bits like a chicken's neck, stubbly and pink and slack
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john

CHORUS

Fidgetting, fumbling, hey ding doorum dye
Fidgetting, fumbling, we being young
Fidgetting, fumbling, doddering, bumbling
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john

CHORUS

When they had had their way, hey ding doorum dye
When they had had their way, we being young
When they had had their way, straight off to sleep went they
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john

CHORUS

When they went to sleep, hey ding doorum dye
When they went to sleep, we being young
When they went to sleep, out of bed we did creep
Robbed every penny and off we did run!

We found their faloorum fal diddle eye ooorum dye
We stole their faloorum fal diddle eye aye
We nicked their faloorum, we took their ding doorum
Robbed every penny and off we did run!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 12:24 PM

Now you've gone and done it, Derry! You've really done it! ROTFLMFAO

(This is not to give short shrift to any of the other gems, such as yours, BJ, but that last one of Aidan's is really classic!)

Keep it up, Derry!*

Genie §:- D

*I know you would never read any double entendre into anything, of course.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 04:32 PM

Well, there ya go, Derry -- the Genie has spoken, and you're under orders to keep it up. Let us know how it goes!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 06:22 PM

Well, as we all can see, it didn't take derrymacash very long to get back in his best Challenge! form! So, dear Aidan, here are two B.L.O.B.s for your swift and sure songster's stride with:

But says one to the other, "Sure who gives a toss?
Think of the profit, don't dwell on the loss
For once we were feeble and now we are spry
After oilin'our joints with the quare bungle rye raddy rye
Fal the diddle rye raddy rye raddy rye"


And:

They were grizzled and wrinkly, hey ding doorum dye
Grizzled and wrinkly, we being young
Grizzled and wrinkly, creased-up and crinkly
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john



Nach bhuil an t-amadán glic thú! ;-) Maith thú!!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 02 - 06:46 PM

Now, AIne, Derry -- would you like to share that note with the whole class? I'm sure we'd all _love_ to know what it says! LOL!

:>)

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 06 Jun 02 - 08:00 AM

To the tune of "Three Lovely Lassies From Kimmage" …

TWO LOVELY HOOKERS FROM SWEDEN

There were two lovely hookers from Sweden
From Sweden, from Sweden
If it's sexual healing you're needing
Sure I was the best of them all
Sure I was the best of them all

The phone rang and gamely I answered
I answered, I answered
"I hear that you are a lap dancer
I've organised a lap ball
I've organised a lap ball"

Myself and my partner called Heidi
Called Heidi, called Heidi
She's pretty and curvy and tidy
And stands about five foot six tall
And stands about five foot six tall

Two oul' fellas gave us some custom
Some custom, some custom
Our writhing it damn nearly bust 'em
And straight into bed they did crawl
And straight into bed they did crawl

They snored as they slipped into slumber
To slumber, to slumber
(Missed the trick I did with a cucumber!
That leaves all the prudies appalled
That leaves all the prudies appalled)

Wake up and pay us our billage
Our billage, our billage
Or else we will go on the pillage
And leave you with sweet bugger all
And leave you with sweet bugger all

The moral to this oul' narration
Narration, narration
Is that when you enjoy fornication
Don't fall asleep on the moll
Don't fall asleep on the moll


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Deda
Date: 06 Jun 02 - 11:52 AM

An intro and conclusion verse popped into my head in the wee hours of the night – so here's the whole thing, w/ revisions Though Derry's are so brilliant, I'm awed.

Now gather round me 'catters, I'll tell you since you're bored
Of the tragic Tokvam brothers, in the Land of the Frozen Fjord
Way up in northern waters, where folks eat white and blue fish
Lived brothers Oy and Arne, who weren't even Jewish
Chorus:
To my loves and likings, oh you Vikings,
Oh, you Oslo girls, can't you dance the polka

In the land of Thor and Odin, I'll tell you if you're good
Of lasses and of losses, where they make Norwegian wood
Oystein and Arne Tokvam, of the little town of Flam
Were shopping for some lutefisk when they fell prey to a scam

Chorus:
In their town near Lillehammer, two fair maids they did meet

Who asked if they could see their house, and warm their chilly feet
"Now if you'd like to come with us, our cabin's plain and neat
We'll try to find some hard bread, and a lingenberry treat"
(CHO.)

The girls sat down to visit, but not for very long.
In no time they were dancing round, belting out a song.
They shed their coats and sweaters, and then kicked off their shoes
They danced a little Can Can, and sang a little blues
Chorus

Oystein and brother Arne, their eyes popped open wide
They quickly pulled the curtains closed, lest neighbors peek inside
The ladies were so lovely, so lively and so free
They urged the gents to dance with them, a polka one-two-three
Chorus

"Hey Arne" said his brother, "Your heart – now watch yourself!"
"No, Oystein, thanks – it's not my heart, I'm feeling something else."
They brought out the family brandy, and found it good and strong
The girls had danced so long and hard, they soon had nothing on
Chorus

With dancing, drinks and singing, an hour fled, then two
The ladies asked quite sweetly if they might use the loo
They gathered up their clothing, and blew a little kiss
Said Oystein to his brother, "What would Papa think of this?"
Chorus

They showed the girls the bathroom, after their wondrous strip
Then waited there in such good cheer, they danced a little skip
But after several hours, they had a sense of dread
Their gold watch and their pensions and their lady friends had fled
Chorus

The Constable he promised the miscreants to follow
But Arne said, "Such angels we won't see until Valhallah"
Said Oystein, "Ja, he's right, sir – Don't cause them any grief --
For from this arctic winter, they brought us great relief"
Chorus

Now you old Norwegian bachelors, come listen unto me
And don't lose all your pensions for an afternoon's strip tease
Those pretty girls they'll rob you, they'll take your worldly good
And leave you grinning ear-to-ear at bare Norwegian wood


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Jun 02 - 12:00 PM

Wicked good! Hurrah for Deda!

~Susan


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 02 - 02:40 PM

LOL Deda!! Way to go!!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 06 Jun 02 - 05:25 PM

Aidan, you really did take mo fhocail to heart, didn't ya? Cucumber, indeed! Here's your B.L.O.B. for the next bit, though:

Wake up and pay us our billage
Our billage, our billage
Or else we will go on the pillage
And leave you with sweet bugger all
And leave you with sweet bugger all


And Deda, don't let derrymacash intimidate you -- you've got an inherited gift for the gab, don't ya know! That first verse is spot on -- anyone who can use 'bored' and 'frozen fjord' right off the bat earns and deserves a Golden B.L.O.B. for:

Now gather round me 'catters, I'll tell you since you're bored
Of the tragic Tokvam brothers, in the Land of the Frozen Fjord
Way up in northern waters, where folks eat white and blue fish
Lived brothers Oy and Arne, who weren't even Jewish
Chorus:
To my loves and likings, oh you Vikings,
Oh, you Oslo girls, can't you dance the polka



Way to go, Challenge!rs!!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 06 Jun 02 - 06:43 PM

Deda, you sure got dat Norvegian feelin' dere, you betcha!
Virkelig god!

Genie

LOL


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 03:46 AM

This theme - a man tricked and robbed/swindled/betrayed by a foxy woman - is probably one of the most common in the folk tradition. You don't need to think very hard to come up with a few titles where the theme emerges - Whiskey In The Jar, Courtin' In The Kitchen, Patrick Street, The Black Velvet Band, General Munro.

In "real life" (or another bit of cyber-existence) I edit a website called Pay The Reckoning and if you follow this link you'll be taken to a version of such a song which I wrote a wee while back. (Have a wee look round the rest of the site while you're there!)

This isn't meant to be a blatant plug ... I just find it interesting that this theme continues to be an integral part of our folk mythology ...

Here endeth today's lesson!

Back to writing the comic songs!

derrymacash


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 04:33 AM

Yeah, Derry, interesting. Hmmmmm.....
Aren't there any songs about handsome young lads being the ruin of women? There's the "he seduced her and knocked her up and ran off" variety, of course, but how about running off with her stash of cash?

All I can think of is "...I was there to steal her money, take her rings and run/ But I fell in love with the lady and came away with none."

Genie

BTW, aren't shameless plugs allowed?


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 05:01 AM

Genie ...

There are a fair few of those as well. The Gentleman Soldier, The Bunch Of Thyme, Cold Blow And The Rainy Night ...

And the murder ballads ... Tom Dooley, The Banks Of Red Roses, Banks Of The Ohio ...


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 05:02 AM

A parody on "Nell Flaherty's Drake"

THE HOOKERS WHO BURGLED MYSELF AND THE BROTHER
I scarce venture forth for I live in the North
Where the snow it does fall and the ice it does form
I live with my brother, a son of my mother
We rest in our cabin and try to keep warm
Our age it is great, and in truth we're near bate
I fear before long we must enter the grave
So the brother he says, "'Fore the end of our days
It's time that we had us a bit of a rave."

Says he, "What I mean is something obscene
Let's phone up some strippers to put on a show
We'll have a quare laugh when these hussies strip aff
And if they offer extra we'll have a wee go"
Says I "Brother man, your lascivious plan
Is one whose attractions quite plainly appeal
Let's get on the blower and order two who-ers
Before the night's over we'll get a quare feel!"

The pair of us waitin', we were shakin' and swaytin'
And anticipatin' the beauteous charms
Of our long-legged hookers, firm-breasted good lookers
Though nervous the pair of us, yet we'd no qualms
And then came the rappin' at the door of our cabin
So I shuffled over to greet our two girls
And near fell in a hape, as my brother he gaped
In stunned admiration at such elegant pearls

Then off with the clothes and struck many's the pose
All naked and wanton, all shimmy all shake
And says I to my sibling "I'd love to be nibbling
The ripest of cherries atop Helga's cake!"
And so I suggested, the brother requested
Perhaps the young ladies might go all the way
They said "If you're able, and not too enfeebled"
Says I "Houl' yer whisht! I'm as fit as a flay!"

But conjugal pleasure soon took our measure
Unused to such passion we both fell asleep
And what then transpired, as we both retired
We could not prevent as we slumbered so deep
For those girls of the night (the dorty wee skites!)
They burgled and plundered, they hoaked and they robbed
And away the pair flew, leavin' us in a stew
Without between us a tanner or bob

May they meet a bad end, may their wounds never mend
May they catch every pox that is known to exist
May their skin start to flake and their molars to ache
May they burst out in blisters, in boils and in cysts
And - forbye gonorrhea - may they catch diaorrhea
(The famed outhouse gallop and lavatory trot)
So their damnable rings may smart and may sting
From the fiery affliction of oul' belly-rot

May they swell with the bloat, may the sides of their throat
Swell up till they think that they're goin' to choke
May they get the dry-heaves (or some other disease
That causes them often to retch and to boak)
May they suffer such pains that the bearin' of wains
May seem like a pleasure above any other
May they never know peace, may their torment not cease
The hookers who burgled myself and the brother!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 08:00 AM

Speaking of "Courtin' In The Kitchen", as I did a few entries above, started me musing! And hence …

COORTIN' WITH TWO KITTENS
Come Nordic bach-el-ores and to me pay attention
Don't ever mess with whores, they're the devil's own invention
We enquired as to the price, it only cost a pittance
And therefore in a trice we were coortin' with two kittens
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye, with me too-rye-too-rye-addy
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye and me too-rye-too-rye-addy

It was eighty years ago, my mother entered labour
My elder brother, Joe, looked on his bro' with favour
And since that fateful day, we've never once been parted
And together all the way, we've never yet been thwarted
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye, with me too-rye-too-rye-addy
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye and me too-rye-too-rye-addy

Our house-guests were sublime, built like two fashion models
And so, before much time, we set to kiss and cuddle
Although long in the tooth, the pair of us were smitten
Bowled over, that's the truth, by the coortin' of two kittens
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye, with me too-rye-too-rye-addy
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye and me too-rye-too-rye-addy

It was on and off the bed and round and round the house, sir
A flash of firm, young leg and a bit of mouth-to-mouth, sir
I felt so energised - 'tween my teeth I had the bit in -
By the sight of long white thighs as we coorted with two kittens
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye, with me too-rye-too-rye-addy
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye and me too-rye-too-rye-addy

The miles upon our clocks began to tell a tale, sir
The girls began to mock as our stamina did fail, sir
"I must now respose, it would be far more fittin'
Than rippin' off the clothes and coortin' with two kittens"
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye, with me too-rye-too-rye-addy
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye and me too-rye-too-rye-addy

We're in the land of Nod; the girls go on a spree, sir
I vow unto my God such a sight you'll never see, sir
They robbed we brothers blind, every furnishin' and fittin'
There was damn all left behind after coortin' with two kittens
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye, with me too-rye-too-rye-addy
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye and me too-rye-too-rye-addy

Me wallet it was cleaned, me biscuit tin was robbed, sir
I'm sure those lovebirds preened at the thought of such a job, sir
Never more again, will I let meself be bitten
No more I'll play the game of coortin' with two kittens
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye, with me too-rye-too-rye-addy
With me too-rye-too-rye-aye and me too-rye-too-rye-addy



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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 12:10 PM

Wow, Derry! Though it doesn't stay true to the original story as related by Áine, Your Nell Flaherty parody is a real gem! What a way with words you do have! [And I hope I never find you mad at me!] ROTFLMFAO!

Now, re Tom Dooley, Banks of the Ohio, etc. as boy does girl wrong folksongs--hmmm....--I think I'd rather have the guy just ROB me! *G*

Genie §;- )


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Deda
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 02:18 PM

LOL Genie -- You're right - Plenty of songs about pretty girls robbing and dumping the men, and plenty of songs about men murdering women, burying them, and going to prison forever or being hanged. It's that damned old Y chromosome that causes the worst of the trouble.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: mousethief
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 02:34 PM

And plenty of songs about women murdering men, children, their own families, etc. etc. etc. Apparently having a "Y" chromosome isn't a prerequisite for murder.

Alex


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 07:52 PM

No -- it's just that murder in a lot of those ballads is a solution to unplanned parenthood; and somehow there's always a Y at the bottom -- so to speak.

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 07 Jun 02 - 11:38 PM

"...always a Y at the bottom -- so to speak,"

except when Tom Lehrer writes Irish ballads!

duplicate post deleted by mudelf ;-)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 02 - 10:20 AM

I think Derry's is the third rendition of Flaherty's Drake evoked by Aine's challenges. Remarkable! Derry-me-boy, yer a master!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Áine
Date: 08 Jun 02 - 10:35 AM

Boy howdy, you all haven't lost your collective touch! A wonderful bunch of bull, if ever there was ;-) Here are your duly earned and deserved Cow Chip Awards. Beaucoup thanks, cudos and congrats to all my lovely, lovely Challenge!rs. And don't forget to keep those pencils and pens warm -- Challenge! 83 won't be long in hatching (hehehe)!

-- Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

Coortin' With Two Kittens by derrymacash
The House of the Midnight Sun by Bradypus
Oh You Vikings by Deda
We Have To Go, Arne, Go! by Bill Kennedy

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):

In Old Sogn og Fjordane's Town by Amos
Oy, Oy, Oystein by DonD
Strange Things Done In The Midnight Sun by Big John
Swedes And Tarts And Kippers by Big John

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

Arne And Ornstein's Excellent Adventure by Genie
The Cold Snowy Country by derrymacash
The Hookers Who Burgled Myself And The Brother by derrymacash
Two Lovely Hookers From Sweden by derrymacash

Winners Of The Golden Cow Chip Award With Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen):

Oh! But It's Great to Be Single by mousethief

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award (The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award is given to the Challenge!rs who warm the cockles and create a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book in a song):

Very, Very Nice by McGrath of Harlow
Whores When You're Young Never Trick An Oul' John by derrymacash


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 02 - 11:07 AM

Well, I swan!! TGG, you been one busy Goddess!!

Thanks for a Grand Challenge!!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jun 02 - 11:18 AM

what Amos said, Áine!

Genie


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: mousethief
Date: 08 Jun 02 - 08:43 PM

Thank you! Can you send that in cash? LOL!

Alex


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 82
From: Deda
Date: 09 Jun 02 - 03:00 PM

I'd like to thank all the members of the academy, and everyone I've ever met in my life -- hold on, I have the list right here.... BG


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