Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros (from Ed Lipton)

Subject: Lyr Add: MY RHINOCEROS (Ed Lipton)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Sep 14 - 01:34 AM

MY RHINOCEROS
As sung by Ed Lipton on "Fly, Hippopotamus, Fly!" (2007)

1. My rhinoceros is lazy; he won't clean up his room.
My mother says to tell him he'd better do it soon.

CHORUS: My rhinoceros, my rhinoceros, he has such a beautiful smile,
My rhinoceros, my rhinoceros, but he smiles only once in a while.

2. My rhinoceros is silly; when we go for an auto ride,
If he doesn't want to come along, he'll go to his room and hide.

3. My rhinoceros gets dirty; my mother tells him to scrub,
But there is no room for the water when he climbs into the tub.

4. My rhinoceros gets thirsty; when he goes to bed at night,
He always asks for a drink of water after you turn out the light.

5. My rhinoceros likes doughnuts; he can eat them night or morn.
He doesn't have any pockets, so he carries them on his horn.

6. My rhinoceros gets tired, but if you want him to take a nap,
First you have to tell him a story and let him sit on your lap.

7. My rhinoceros gets happy; he likes to dance all day.
When he's dancing around his room, it's best to keep out of his way.

8. My rhinoceros is selfish; when we turn on the tv,
He always wants to watch what he wants to watch; he never thinks of me.

9. My rhinoceros gives me trouble, but we get along just fine.
He says that I am his best friend, and he knows that he's mine.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 12 Sep 14 - 12:51 PM

Hear the tune here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoG3jkZdDc0

Genie, thanks for the verses you copied or wrote back in 2002. They're clever. I wish I had some kids around so we could sing them.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Sep 14 - 08:27 PM

My rhinocerous gets itchy
but before the scratch can begin
I go buy her a gallon of lotion
and I rub it all over her skin!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 04:38 PM

Nice to get more verses to this! I only had four verses and the chorus from Dan Whitley back in 1981.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 11:47 PM

G'day again Genie,

Of course there's no problem immediately ascribing French as the source of may English uses that are not of the older "germanic" roots ... the Norman (rather Norse, but speaking their own variety of French) invasion was more than 9 centuries back ... when "Italian" did not exist! It was some 2½ centuries later, when there was a move to adopt Provençal (Langue d'oc) as the official language for Italy that Dante baulked - and, virtually single-handedly, created modern Italian from a synthesis of local dialects.

Anyway, as I suggested above, the role of the lexicographer is descriptive, not prescriptive, and the Oxford now accepts both pronunciations ... and you have to live with the people to whom you talk.

(And that is a nice new verse, too!)

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Genie
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 09:11 PM

Bob, I don't doubt that etymologists have traced our English usage to French roots. However, new terms evolve and old ones evolve over time. Rather than incorrectly correctly pronounce the French "forte" --or say it correctly and be thought an uneducated dunce by 99+% of the American populace, I prefer to borrow the Italian word [phrase] "[cosa] forte" and correctly pronounce it "for-teh."

------------------------------

Bringing the thread back on topic, here's a new verse:

My rhinoceros is a pedant,
And if you say that "golf 's your 'for-tay',
She'll yell, "Mispronounced!"
And your head she will bounce
Like a basketball by Dr. J."

Genie
§;- )

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 08:38 AM

G'day Genie,

You are right - etymologists do have some ways to trace derivation ... they look at the (published) uses ... that is far what the Oxford English Dictionary (all 28, or so, volumes of dead tree) is famous. A "dictionary on historical principles" looks at how a word was used and provides examples of the pivotal usages. If you want to argue with them, there is a hell of a lot of trolling through vintage paper ahead!

Anyway, current French does not have the use of forte as a 'noun' that we have in English ... but it is a continuation of the Latin practice of understanding the sense of (thing) as what is described by an adjective - so forte is really one's (chose) forte. On top of which - Who says the English has to be good French? (Even if that is the source ... the strength of English is its ability to borrow and adapt.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Genie
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 02:54 AM

You're right, Bob, that the musical term [adjective or adverb] is Italian, and that the English noun [for "strong point"] should be pronounced "forte" if it is derived from French. But if French has no such noun and the adjective "forte" exists [with exactly the same spelling] in both French and Italian, then why assume the English noun is derived from French, rather than Italian? [Of course, etymologists probably have ways of tracing the term's history, but couldn't the term have evolved just as easily from Italian as from French?]

In either case, you're correct that usage has it overwhelmingly as "for-tay." If you say, e.g., "Folk music is my "fort," people look at you like you're an ignoramus!"

Sigh...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 12:09 AM

G'day again,

i will acknowledge, before someone even more pedantic chips in, that I overlooked the fact that, when used in music, the term is Italian ... and, thus, is correctly pronounced (~) fort - ee!

Regardfully,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 12:05 AM

G'day Grab & Genie,

The adjective forté, used in music is pronounced (~) "for-tay" ... and the (unaccented) noun, which my Oxford defines as "a person's strong point ...", should be pronounced "fort" - but the mispronunciation is winning ... and dictionaries are descriptive, not prescriptive documents.

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Genie
Date: 11 Jun 02 - 02:07 AM

Interestingly, my French-English dictionary gives "fort / forte" as [masc./fem.] adjectives, and gives "forte" [pronounced "fort"] as an adverb used in music and derived from Italian. It does not give "forte" as a noun at all.

Genie

Back to the Rhinoceros song. Does anyone have--or want to write--more verses?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Genie
Date: 11 Jun 02 - 01:58 AM

Graham, it wouldn't be "fort-ay" in French without an acute accent over the "e" (i.e., "forté").

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: John J
Date: 10 Jun 02 - 12:19 PM

Nothing to do with the lyrics, but when I saw the title to this thread it reminded me of when I ran London Marathon in 2000.

The Rhinoceros overtook me!

Cheers,

John

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Rhinoceros
From: Grab
Date: 10 Jun 02 - 12:05 PM

Language note: "forte" is actually pronounced "for-tay" in French, Italian, and all languages which have nicked it.

Graham.

Subject: Lyr Add: MY RHINOCEROS (Tom Lipton, Jeanene Pratt)
From: Genie
Date: 10 Jun 02 - 12:35 AM

I got a bunch of lyrics from the guy I first heard sing this song, and then I added a few more verses.

MY RHINOCEROS by Tom Lipton
[Last nine verses added by Jeanene Pratt.]

Chorus:
My Rhinoceros, My Rhinoceros,
She has such a beautiful smile.
My Rhinoceros, My Rhinoceros,
But she smiles only once in a while.


My Rhinoceros loves doughnuts,
She eats them each night and morn.
Since she doesn't have any pockets,
She carries them 'round on her horn.

My Rhinoceros gets silly when we go for an auto ride.
If she doesn't want to go with us, she'll go into her room and hide.

My Rhinoceros gets sleepy and she has to take her a nap,
But you must read her a story as she curls up in your lap.

My Rhinoceros gets dirty, and we have to give her a scrub,
But there's no room for the water when she gets into her tub.

My Rhinoceros gets lazy; it can happen most anywheres,
But often it's at bedtime, till we carry her up all the stairs.

My Rhinoceros hates yard work; she shunned it since she was born,
Except for just one type of chore: plowing up weeds with her horn.

My Rhinoceros loved TV, especially the "Zoo Parade,"
But now she runs to the radio and tunes to Lake Wobegon's charade.

My Rhinoceros hates school work; she can't even stand the joint.
In spite of deep explanations, she never quite gets the point.

---------------------------------------------------------------
My Rhinoceros loves cooking. She loves to create a soufflé.
She serves it on beautiful China, then dances 'round shouting "Ole!"

My Rhinoceros is playful, loves wrestling and clowning and stuff.
She loves to scare all the neighbors by putting on her boxing gloves.

My Rhinoceros loves opera; Puccini and Wagner and such.
She's such a substantial Brunhilde, but she sings the libretto in Dutch!

My Rhinoceros loves swimming and diving is her great forte,*
But when she jumps in from the platform, the water all splashes away.

My Rhinoceros does Yoga, the lotus position and all.
It's impressive when she does a head stand,
but get out of the way when she falls!

My Rhinoceros loves children; she's into Tae Kwan Do and mime;
When she starts into her juggling, She can levitate three at a time.

My Rhinoceros loves politics, thinks taxes and war are unfair.
One day she'll be throwing her weight around and running for office somewhere.

My Rhinoceros went camping; she needed no coaxing or push,
But then she tried hiding from foxes behind a small mulberry bush.

My Rhinoceros loves CNN; she wants to keep up with the news.
One day I saw her on "Larry King" discussing the films of Tom Cruise.

Genie

*You have to sing it "for-tay," even though 'tis said it's French and should be pronounced "fort." We'll say it's Italian instead.

Subject: My Rhinoceros
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jun 02 - 12:22 PM

Rise Up Singing has the chorus and a few verses of this funny children's song*, but I've heard a bunch more and wonder if any of you folks could post some of the verses you know.

The chorus goes:

My rhinoceros, my rhinoceros,
He has such a beautiful smile.
My rhinoceros, my rhinoceros,
But he smiles only once in a while.

Genie

*i.e., a song sung by funny children