teaching the old folks new tricks

Subject: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: JedMarum
Date: 10 Jun 02 - 10:43 PM

My wife and I have just had my parents move in with us. They're getting on in years, Mom's getting quite forgetful (to put it mildly) and Dad's got enough to handle with just the two of 'em so since we have room and I keep musician's hours (home during many weekdays) we asked 'em to move in with us.

We've done a lot of singin', something we always did when I was child in their home - and I ask them for some of the songs they learned from their parents, and grandparents - it's proven to be a nice thing ... but I have to relate one story that got me a private laugh tonight.

Dad is Irish Catholic and Mom English/Scot Protestant. Tonight Mom and I were in the kitchen, preparing dinner, and I was humming the Risin' of the Moon - and Mom hummed along, then surprised me when she knew man of the words - so we both sang along while the potatoes got washed and put into the oven. Then we started siging Grace (song about the death of an Irish Rebel leader from the Easter Uprising) ... she knew some of those too, and we sang along together. She asked a bit about the story, and then sang a few more lines, but then she said almost to herself, "it's a good thing my mother's not here; she'd say; 'what're you singing that stuff for?'" and then we both chuckled.

Memory's gone, but the sweetness and humor are still there ...

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 02 - 11:17 PM

Awww, Jed, good on ya, man. Bless her heart for singing still, no?

A

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jun 02 - 12:08 AM

Life, coming up to the end, is not always kind but it has its bright moments. My best wishes to all of you.

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: fogie
Date: 11 Jun 02 - 05:58 AM

My mum became noticably demented after the trauma of my step-fathers death and she has continued to deteriorate. She is looked after in a secure home, and my sister deals with her on a daily basis. I live miles away . My hats off to you for taking them in, and still enjoying their company, but make sure you know when you need a break from them,ie getting them respite care, and dont feel guilty if you cant cope any longer!

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: Noreen
Date: 11 Jun 02 - 08:27 AM

Lovely, Jed- I can picture you both singing happily whilst getting the dinner on. Songs from childhood are buried very deep in the memory; it's wonderful to be able to resurrect them and make that connection. Powerful stuff!

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: M.Ted
Date: 11 Jun 02 - 12:41 PM

The memory isn't really gone, Jed, it is just harder to access--and for one reason or another, music helps bring back memories that are hard to get to any other way--you're doing a good thing--

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: mousethief
Date: 11 Jun 02 - 12:45 PM

Nice story, Jed. Thanks for sharing that with us. Peace on you both.

Alex

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: Mudlark
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 02:32 AM

What a great story, Jed, and how great that you can still enjoy your parents. Music is one of the few good things I got from my folks, and my best memories are of singing 30's and 40's tunes with them in the kitchen while making dinner. And it is true that music memory is longer lasting than any. In the convalescent home where I play there are people who seem entirely gone, no longer communicating, but can join in on You Are My Sunshine...it's the one sone everybody seems to know.

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: JedMarum
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 10:10 AM

Thanks all for the comments ... been singing some more these last few days, I expect I'll learn a few new tunes!

Subject: RE: teaching the old folks new tricks
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 02 - 10:25 AM

I think it's great that you are able to take your folks in - so many families are shuffling their older generation off into homes and care facilities. (Though I will admit - in many cases the amount of medical care required *does* require something more then home care)

Doesn't look like this will be a problem with my parents - they are due back from Norway today - and have two road trips already planned between now and the weekend!!!!!