Song Challenge! - Part 84

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 19 Jun 02 - 07:50 AM

A wee skit on "The Mountains Of Mourne" . (Sorry, Áine … the challenge idea served only as a spark … I'm afraid my imagination took me off thread!)

Ah, Mary the 'Mericky's a wonderful sight
But some of its features would give you a fright
They don't set their horses to run or to draw
They trate them like childer, I tell you, mo gra
I saw one this mornin', it caused me to moan
For they'd only put drawers on the poor horsey's "hone"!
It's a fashion, I tell you, a fad I declare
That will never catch on with the boys of Kildare

When I stepped off the boat as I landed here first
The sweat it was blindin', and dyin' of thirst
I went to an alehouse and called for a beer
And I raised it aloft and I toasted all here
But when I had a sip, I didn't approve
All traces of taste from the beer they'd removed
When I get on home I will think it a trate
To imbibe the concoction from St James's Gate

There's no hairy bacon and no wheaten rings
No big plates of champ and no Tayto nor Kings
No packs of Mikado and no Merry Maids
No packets of Carrolls or red lemonade
When I get on home, I'll be thin as a rake
Do they not know nothin' bout grub for God's sake?!
You could do me a favour, my Mary, mo chroí
And send a big parcel of food over the sea

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 02 - 09:01 AM

Pummeling by a cute boy? The Tidee Bowl lady rides again!! Yeehaaa!! Go get 'em, TGG -- just lay some of that Green Froth on 'im, and he's bound to lie down and roll over and pummel ye never no more! LOL!

~A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: SharonA
Date: 19 Jun 02 - 09:30 AM

Áine: Hope you're feeling better soon... and put that boulder down! *G*

kat: Yes, the People Magazine article I linked says that King would be getting a horse soon, but that article was dated February 26, 2001. King may have moved from Gig Harbor to Ellensburg in the meantime; who knows? BTW the Montana article I linked was dated March 26, 2002 (and I agree that the "UC" with no explanation is quite annoying! Seems to be a market area of some kind, possibly at a university in Montana, but which one and in what town?? I'm wondering if the writers at that site are journalism students who haven't learned better yet – rant off).

JenEllen: Sorry, it wasn't my intention to get on your ass or anybody else's (except maybe that journalism student's!). I only intended to chime in with what I thought were a couple of interesting factoids on the subject; didn't mean to annoy anyone else! I'll shut up now, and start singing, as per Jack's request...


EARLY MORNIN' REINS
(Tune: "Early Mornin' Rain" by Gordon Lightfoot – for original lyrics, click on the following: http://www.gordonlightfoot.com/Lyrics/EMR.txt)
Pronunciation Guide: the word "a" in "with a cane" should be pronounced as a long "a" (ayyy)

In the early mornin', reins and a collar in my hand
Not a-shakin' in my parts. When I walk, it's fully planned:
I'm along with my pon-y, a Miss I love, and so
In the early mornin', reinin' Rosie, I go

Out to Thriftway* or to dine. Quick 7-11 trek? We'll go!
Where cars fanned and horns would blast when the old me always froze,
Well, my "flicka" says she should get blind women over fast;
Yeah, where she goes, I wend 'cross the road to town at last!

Hear her tiny hooves on floor, see her crimson thing on thigh.
"She's a-'way more dressed than hounds are," I love the crowds to sigh!
Wears the mornin' reins in malls, and her bum always shines.
We'll be buyin' or hie home. With her eyes she powers mine!

This ol' mare sure brought me 'round. Ain't no turf she wouldn't see!
I'm not stuck here when my brown-gold and spunky eyes she'd be.
Can't bump and get pain like you can with a cane
So I'm best seein' my way with the early mornin' reins
Can't bump and get pain like you can with a cane
So I'm best seein' my way with the early mornin' reins


*Thriftway is a supermarket chain here in PA; do they have Thriftways in WA?

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Seems like that oil on the brain-gears did the trick (at least temporarily), or else maybe my muse only visits when her regular muse-ee goes home from college for the summer. Whatever the reason, here's a second song, which came to me as I wondered how uncomfortable a horse might feel, having to wear red bloomers while she feels the urge to raise her tail and...


ROSIE, DON'T SHAKE YOUR UNDIES DOWN
(Tune: "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town" performed by Kenny Rogers; words and music by M. Tillis – for original lyrics, click on the following: http://www.ntl.matrix.com.br/pfilho/html/main_index/index.html)

You've girded up your hips, through holes unfurled your long tail-hair.
Rosie, we're both combed and plaited, trotting out somewhere.
The hoof-beats as they fall tell me we're gonna go to town.
Oh Rosieeeeee, don't shake your undies down.

It wasn't me that farted in that Crazy Eddie store.
I wasn't proud to scoop the "doo" I can't see on the floor.
And yes, it's true you're not bare-assed the way you used to be
Oh Rosieeeeee, you still need some place to pee.

It's hard to lead a girl whose eyes are blind and neutralized
And the bladder-size of a pony – small-gauge – Rosie, I realize.
But it won't be far, you've heard me say, until the park we've found.
Oh Rosieeeeee, don't shake your undies down.

She's heavin' now, 'cause I just heard the slippin' of the drawers
The way I know I've heard them slip one hundred times before,
And if I could see, I'd mount that horse and ride her to the pound.
Oh Rosieeeeee, don't shake your undies down.

Oh Rosieeeeee, for God's sake, I stepped in it again...

corrections made per request by mudelf ;-)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jun 02 - 10:55 AM

Love 'em both, Sharon!! The "Early Morning Reins" especially, very funny stuff!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 19 Jun 02 - 12:09 PM

see her crimson thing on thigh

Certainly worth the wait!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Deda
Date: 19 Jun 02 - 11:27 PM

These are all just a delight to read, as always. Thanks to WYSIWYG for the Lyle Lovett idea:

If I Were a Goat
Apologies to Lyle Lovett, re If I had a boat

If I were a goat
I'd make friends with a chicken
And if I were a chicken
I'd ride upon a goat
And goat and chick together
We'd go and find a pony
A pony and a chicken and a goat

If I were a Macaw
I'd call my goat friend Fat Butt
And we'd have lots of dogs and people, too
And we all with our pony --
(We'd call our pony Rosie)
-- We'd be happy as the monkeys in the zoo

And Rosie, she'd wear panties
With a tail-sized hole behind her
With silk and lace and lining
She'd prance around and dance
And we'd all sing together
Like the Bremen town musicians
Pony, dogs and chickens and a goat

Now Cherry King was mighty smart
She got herself a pony
'Cause Rosie was a pony who could guide
But Rosie she was smarter
Cause guiding's pretty easy
And into town in the Toyota she would ride

If I were a goat
I'd make friends with a chicken
And if I were a chicken
I'd ride upon a goat
And goat and chick together
We'd go and dance with Rosie
A pony and a chicken and a goat

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 12:25 AM

Deda:

Slam dunk, sis!! Cracking up -- wit and beauty in one swoop!

Very nice job!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 09:46 AM

It never ceases to amaze me how much bleedin' brightness emerges on these Challange threads. Looking back over the last few years, I am struck by the creative powers that get unleashed when a funny topic and a safe milieu are provided. I think we owe the Gaelic Goddess a big kudo for having invented and operated such a first-class creative game, and having endowed it with so much verve and flair, and bringing out so much wit from so many fine folkies all over. They are a thousand times more enjoyable than trolls and whiners, and a lot funnier than "Anatomy of a Capo" or "Reflections on the Third Word of the Thirteenth Version of Waly Waly".

Here's to you, TGG!! Thanks for everything!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 10:34 AM

If I Were A Seeing-Eye Pony!
(Tune:If I were the King of the Forest)

If I were a seeing eye pony, Not monkey, nor dog or such ilk
My garb as a seeing eye pony , would be blanket, and harness of silk.
And beneath all that lot, the panties I've got.
Are bright scarlet , with flounces and frills - Yes! frills!
As I do my best job, all the flounces they bob
And the tourists stare as I strut my wares
And the traffic stops just for me!- I am the sexy pony!
Everyone must show respect to me.
Passerbys they genuflect to me.
And my tail will whip, As I show my slip
And every underthing
I am such a sexy pony!
Sexy pony!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 11:01 AM

LOL MM!! Ya got the groove, man!! Where is Bert Lahr when ya need him??? :>)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: DonD
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 11:19 AM

Whoa!! (Keeping in thread vein.) Where's that thread about the third word in 'Waly Waly'? and is that the Scottish 'Waly Waly' or ... I've been agonizing over the interpretation of that word -- and several othes -- for years.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Deda
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 02:44 PM

I'm with you, Amos -- I think Aine deserves a Big Prize for bringing out all this hilarity. And I LOVE the Wizard of Oz entry, MM -- One of the very first I did was the Tiger guy, to the tune of "If I only had a brain." With a little luck we might end up with an entire score. What a great performance THAT would make! LOL!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 02:54 PM

Well, Don, whyncha stop moping and write a song about "The Words to Waly-Waly Wondering and Wailin' Blueeees" or sompn? It'll getcha right outta that there funk!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Áine
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 02:56 PM

I promised you all some B.L.O.B.s, and here they are -- I tell y'all this for free -- I needed some giggles, grins and guffaws the last few days, and y'all have definitely provided them in abundance and in typical Challenge!r style! Thanks one and all ;-) Here are your oh-so-deserved mini chips, and stayed tuned tomorrow, for the BIG Chip Awards!!:

To alinact, for this lovely picture:

At the park or supermarket
Rosie will take me by the hand.
She's the smartest and the bravest
seeing-eye pony in the land.

To Genie, for a very different picture with:

Amos checked the pants for fingerprints or labels from the store.
Derrymacash and Mousethief swore they'd ne'er seen them before.
They were plastered and their vision blurred,
And down upon their knees,
When they spied the name "Provocateur" so clear that all could see!

And for this charming wee verse:

Sidekick piggies are winkin' and blinkin"
At the guests, and, sure, they're a thinkin'
"Awf'lly pow'rful stuff I been drinkin' -- it, for sure, warn't milk!"
When they spy that mini filly with the red drawers of silk!

To Amos, for another lovely, lovely scene:

It's not clinging to the silky underwear
Planted on her by some mor´e of the town
Or something that somebody said
Because they thought we fit together walking
It's just knowing that the world will not be hurting
Or confusing when I walk along some crosswalk and I find
That I'm safely standing on the crossroads
By her caring and her seeing,
And I'm grateful for her silken red behind

To Jack the Sailor for (I love the scarlet knickers!):

Well, we got her a harness so she could lead the blind
But we knew we would have to cover, her behind
The more we watched walk away , The more we heard her Neigh
We knew that scarlet Knickers, were the only way

To Janie (yet another Brand New Challenge!r!!! Howdy and Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Janie!!) for this very imaginative Kodak moment:

She rode home in the truck with her friend Fat Butt
And they chatted about the trip they'd made.
When Cherry had them settled in bed
They munched on toast and marmalade.

To JenEllen (boy, can I relate to this!) for this brainy bit:

I'm just a miniature pony
My course in this life has been set
My brain is the size of a walnut
And it's full of things I can't forget

To DonD, for puttin' a little rythm into Rosie:

She's not just a hussy, flaunting her rump,
With an equine grind and a bump;
She has a great heart tho' her body is small,
There's much more to Rosie than her red underall

To darlin' derrymacash, for takin' Rosie where she's never been before (fada added at no charge, btw) with:

Ah, Mary the 'Mericky's a wonderful sight
But some of its features would give you a fright
They don't set their horses to run or to draw
They trate them like childer, I tell you, mo grá
I saw one this mornin', it caused me to moan
For they'd only put drawers on the poor horsey's "hone"!
It's a fashion, I tell you, a fad I declare
That will never catch on with the boys of Kildare

To SharonA, for these two excellent bits o' bull (or should that be 'horse'?):

Hear her tiny hooves on floor, see her crimson thing on thigh.
"She's a-'way more dressed than hounds are," I love the crowds to sigh!
Wears the mornin' reins in malls, and her bum always shines.
We'll be buyin' or hie home. With her eyes she powers mine!

And for:

She's heavin' now, 'cause I just heard the slippin' of the drawers
The way I know I've heard them slip one hundred times before,
And if I could see, I'd mount that horse and ride her to the pound.
Oh Rosieeeeee, don't shake your undies down

To Deda, who used one of my all time favorite folk groups as a model ;-), for:

And Rosie, she'd wear panties
With a tail-sized hole behind her
With silk and lace and lining
She'd prance around and dance
And we'd all sing together
Like the Bremen town musicians
Pony, dogs and chickens and a goat

To MMario, for his leonine treatment of this horse of a different color, with:

Everyone must show respect to me.
Passerbys they genuflect to me.
And my tail will whip, As I show my slip
And every underthing
I am such a sexy pony!
Sexy pony!


Brilliant!! You've surpassed yourselves this time 'round, Challenge!rs!! ;-)

Yee-Haw! Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: MMario
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 02:57 PM

Then WyoWoman can perform it - as she did with "East Side Story"! yes!

The agreement with Amos on TGG's deserving of praise goes without saying - but given the condition of her back, we don't want her head to get swollen - because that could aggravate the back pain, y'know?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Genie
Date: 20 Jun 02 - 04:25 PM

Sharon A, Great parodies! [I'm not "an easy laugh," but you had me LMFAO--especially with your take off on "Ruby!"

Love yours, too, Deda!

What Amos said!

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Jun 02 - 07:42 PM

Humph! Grumble, grumble..&&^^#$#*&*ABC...buncha lying, lowdown media snots! I've watched more tv news this week than I have in about 3 years and they never ran this story. I am so chuffed!! Ya'll did good, though, so who cares about a little publicity, eh!?!

lol..kat

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Áine
Date: 21 Jun 02 - 08:19 PM

Here ya go, dear Challenge!rs -- The BIG Chip Awards!! ;-) I hope you all enjoyed this Challenge! as much as I did! Lovely, lovely, lovely. Keep your knickers up and your eyes peeled for a new Challenge! coming up tomorrow . . . hopefuly sans underalls of any nature (hehehe). Thanks, cudos and congrats to everyone, Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

Early Mornin' Reins by SharonA
The Filly With The Panties of Red by Genie
The Red Satin Horse Underall by DonD

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):

'Mericky's A Wonderful Sight by derrymacash
Who Put The Mini Horse In Red Silk Lacy Trousers? by Genie

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

If I Were A Seeing-Eye Pony! by MMario

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration (The Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration is awarded for the best cow chip chunking Country version of a song in a Challenge!):

Rosie, Don't Shake Your Undies Down by SharonA

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award (The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award is given to the Challenge!rs who warm the cockles and create a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book in a song):

A Horse With No Shame by Genie
Come On Rosie by alinact
If I Were A Goat by Deda
Life From Two Feet Off The Ground by JenEllen
Rosie by Horseman Browne (a/k/a) Jack the Sailor
Rosie And Cherry by Janie
Rosie Baby by Jack the Sailor
Silky Red Behind by Amos
Sweet Rosie the Pony by Deda
This Little Guide Of Mine by JenEllen

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 02 - 08:29 PM

Great job, TGG. Another text book case of Green Froth at its best!! Thanks!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Genie
Date: 21 Jun 02 - 08:40 PM

A new Song Challenge! tomorrow, Áine--already?!   Whoa, now!  Please make sure your back condition is stable before  you take on another load o' Cow Chips, m'dear.

On the other hand, you prob'ly just don't want give us a chance to goose you or nag you into it.

Ducking and running...
 

Genie
§;- )

Subject: Lyr Add: ROSIE THE SEEING-EYE PONY
From: Bradypus
Date: 27 Jun 02 - 06:22 PM

I had the tune for this in my head, but I didn't know what it was called. A look in the DT came up with Anne Cooper Hewitt - a song that fits right in with the Song Challenge ethos!

Anyway, back to Rosie:

ROSIE THE SEEING-EYE PONY

I'm Rosie the seeing-eye pony
It seems I've found some kind of fame
TV pundits of intellect
And 'cats on the internet
Have heard of my calling and name

I'm Rosie the seeing-eye pony
A help to poor Cherry, who's blind
But it's not just my skills
That give people thrills
It's the red knickers on my behind

I'm Rosie the seeing-eye pony
I was potty-trained as a foal
But people don't trust me
And so they must dress me
A two-foot high pony so droll

I'm Rosie the seeing-eye pony
A horse well in front of the cart
I'm not dressed to thrill
And I'm not dressed to kill
For I'm really a nudist at heart

I'm Rosie the seeing-eye pony
'Just get these things off!' I would say
Next door there's a stallion
Who wears a medallion –
These ruddy things get in the way!

Subject: "Tomorrow" – from "Annie" but not written for it!
From: SharonA
Date: 28 Jun 02 - 12:12 PM

LOL, Bradypus!

And thanks, Áine, for the Chips! I just did a Forum Search for Part 85, but no luck, no joy. Ah well, like the song sez, tomorrow is always a day away...;^)

(BTW, did y'all know that that annoying "Tomorrow" song from the musical "Annie" was originally intended to be sung in the musical version of "Flowers for Algernon"? It's true! Just another bit of intriguing but useless trivia...)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Genie
Date: 28 Jun 02 - 05:36 PM

Bravo, Brady!

Re Song Challenge! Part 85, I guess Áine's cute physical therapist was maybe a little TOO rough and she's still recovering!

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 84
From: Áine
Date: 20 Jul 02 - 03:26 PM

Dearest Bradypus,

I didn't want you to feel like your wonderful entry was being ignored. So, Rosie the Seeing-Eye Pony is hereby awarded The Golden Cow Chip with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song).

Well done, my darlin'!

-- Áine