OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)

Subject: RIP: Ann Landers
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 10:14 AM

I'm sorry the old bat won't be around any more, and my condolences to Dear Abby, her twin. Meanwhile, there have GOT to be songs about her... and if not, there ought to be. Anyone know any or want to write one?

Subject: RE: RIP: Ann Landers
From: Deda
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 10:52 AM

I've always liked her, too, she had smarts and strength. John Prine did a great song about her sister, Dear Abby. Lyrics are here.

(If blicky fails, go to: http://www.yimpan.com/Songsite/Lyric/lyric2text.asp?sid=1526)

Subject: RE: RIP: Ann Landers
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 10:55 AM

(tune: On Top of Old Smokey)

Oh, de-ar Ann Landers
My husband has strayed
My daughter is pregnant
And, I can't get paid.

Is there any hope here?
Should I just give up?
My son's in the closet
The dog just had pups.

My mother left me
My dad's at the booze
The factory has clos-ed
It's terrible news.

So, what can you tell me?
I forgot to ask sooner
Now, you've gone and left us
Whoops, here comes my "nooner."

When you get up to heaven
Pen and paper in hand
Please answer my questions
As best as you can.

When I heard of your passing,
My first thought was this:
Now I'll never get to ask her
Just who took the piss! (UK meaning!)

RIP, Ann, and thanks!

Subject: RE: RIP: Ann Landers
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 11:30 AM

I like the John Prine one, and the blicky worked, too.

Subject: RE: RIP: Ann Landers
From: Genie
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 11:40 AM

Me, too, Mrrzy, and you can just sing "Ann Landers" instead of "Dear Abby" all through the song. I like yours, too, Kat, and Ann does deserve her own song.

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 12:26 PM

That's YOUR composition, Kat? Not bad, not bad at all.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 12:53 PM

Off the top of my head, Joe. Thanks, very much!! You, too, Genie!

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Jim Krause
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 12:56 PM

Yeah, I thought it was pretty good, too, Kat.
Jim

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Haruo
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 01:07 PM

I had dinner with Ann back in '72. I'll miss her. But then, I've already missed her for thirty years, so I'm sort of used to it.

Good songs.

Liland

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 01:43 PM

(OK on the thread title change, I guess)

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Melani
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 02:59 PM

The University of Chicago has for years had an annual "Fool Ann Landers" contest. The winner was whoever got his letter printed. She always claimed she was never fooled.

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 08:15 PM

Dear Ann Landers,

So tell me, is there really an after-life?

Signed,

Hopeful in Colorado

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 12:15 AM

Dear Hopeful:

If you're reading this. the answer is self-evident. If you are not, there appears to be one but it may be illusory...

Ann

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 12:34 PM

Hee hee!

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 01:54 PM

If your husband has no standards,
If your daughter has no candor,
If your boyfriend pimps and panders
Just sit down and write Ann Landers!

Chorus:

Wisdom, humor, good advice
Moral guidance -- ain't it nice?
The gal who knows the men from mice
That's Ann Landers!

If your spouse's eye meanders,
And your landlord's raised your dander
You don't have to move to Flanders
Just sit down and write Ann Landers!

Cho.

If you've just been dumped by Anders
And your wife says Xerox canned her
And your husband's pure Neander
Just sit down and write Ann Landers!

Wisdom, humor, good advice
Moral guidance -- ain't it nice?
The gal who knows the men from mice
That's Ann Landers!

br>

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 02:00 PM

And your husband's pure Neander.

arrrrrggggghhhhhh! :>}

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 03:15 PM

Well, LEJ, it was written in less than five minutes -- I have other responsibilities here at the orifice, ya know -- and it is still open for editorial suggestions!! You're either part of the solution or you're part of the problem, man -- I learned that from the Resident Shrub!! How about "Your husband's kiss feels like a sander?"

LOL!

A

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 03:15 PM

Your wife just served you oleander? Ewwww!

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 03:20 PM

And your husband is a gander

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 03:34 PM

Your nephew is a salamander?

Your Uncle has the urge to pander?

You cousin speaks with cruel candor?

Your boss cornered the market on slander?

Your wife kicks you like George Blander?

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: SharonA
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 04:37 PM

Don't divorce though he philanders
And his chick's already planned hers.
Want new guys? Well, don't demand hers,
Just sit down and write Ann Landers!

(BTW, I love the "pure Neander" line!)


Here's a serious obituary of Esther Lederer, a.k.. Ann Landers (who, by the way, was not the first Ann Landers – Lederer won a Chicago Sun-Times contest to become the second Ann Landers after the woman who created the column died – yet strangely enough Lederer's wish was that the "Ann Landers" column would end with her death): http://www.legacy.com/LegacySubPage1.asp?Page=APStory&Id=3389

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 05:37 PM

If your logic gate's a NANDer,
Your baby says you're all unmanned; her
Body type is like a pander
Use the mail, and tell Ann Landers!

When your wife, the Great Miss Zandra,
Cries a stip-tease critic panned her,
And the State of Texas banned her
Tell your troubles to Ann Lander

Wisdom, humor, good advice Moral guidance -- ain't it nice? The gal who knows the men from mice That's Ann Landers!

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 08:23 AM

When your babe spits up bananders
And he gums your mamm'ry glanders
Count to ten – don't spank his fanders –
Just sit down and write Ann Landers!

(Okay, admittedly, that was a stretch...)

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 10:37 AM

Fanders!!! Them plasteek thangs thet ya have tuh take offa new trucks tuh break 'em in?

"Mah truck runs baiduh now I got them fanders offer!"

And here I thought you were a New England kinda girl...

:>)

A

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 12:04 PM

NEW ENGLAND?!?!?!?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm a Pennsylvanian, born and bred. Thought I'd made that clear over this past year here. Even got myself added to the Mudcat Member Locator page! And Pennsylvania is a Mid-Atlantic state. Ah ain't that fir from the Mason-Dixon line, y'all, only 'bout an hour er so on thuh innerstate (when ye takes the fanders offa the truck!).


New England.... jeeeeezzzzz.... bahtcher tung, boah....

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 01:38 PM

to take th' fander offa the truck, ya' need a raynch to loose the bolts, but ya' gotta be careful not to raynch yer arm, 'cause if yer way out on yer raynch, ya' might not have help available, and you'd hafta raynch your dirty hands off with water so's not to get yer steerin' wheel dirty.

(durn, it's useful to not need too many words, when one will do!)

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 01:49 PM

Well, ya know, I always thought of PA as a wanna-be New England state, and I was trying to be genteel an' kindly and all. But since yer reciprocating with calumny and obloquoy, I take it back; y'er a pure-dee disgrace to the Puritan neurosis, the Abigail Adams Association of Obsessive-Compulsive Teacup Scrubbers, AAAOCTS, and the Northern DAR Professional Defamers of Any Good Time Anywhere (NDARPDAGTA) and all their civic-minded sororities in Garden Clubs from Fairfield County up to Maine. Outer darkness for you, you hussy!! LOL!!

A

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 01:58 PM

These are great, but nothing tops the Neander line yet!

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 02:23 PM

Huh, who needs Puritans when ya got Quakers 'n Amish comin' out yer ears?! And we have plenty of the Daughters of the American Revolution right here, thank you very much (makes one wonder about all those old houses and taverns 'round these parts where George Washington "slept", don't it?). Besides, Outer Darkness ain't half bad with a stomach full of scrapple, corn chowder, apple butter and shoo-fly pie! Them Bahston folks kin keep their watery ol' tea!!!

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 03:06 PM

LOL!!!

A

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Genie
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 03:10 PM

LOL, Sharon A, Amos! I, too, like the "Neander" line. And the "oleander" for dinner scenario, Amos -- now THAT's a reason to write Ann Landers! [Some botanically challenged non-Californians may not know that every part of the oleander plant is poisonous.]

Too bad Áine's busy moving right now. You two deserve Cow Chips if anyone ever did!

§;- )

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 03:22 PM

Moving? Huh?

A

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 03:55 PM

Amos, don't tell me you missed the thread called "Help! I'm Moving My Pussies"!?

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 04:07 PM

March of last year - refreshed because ANIMATERRA is moving...

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: SharonA
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 04:12 PM

Oops! Let's do the Time Warp again! ;^)

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 04:12 PM

Well I didn't miss it last March gals, but many of us (a few notable exceptions, I guess) have moved on down the time-stream since then...thank Gawd!!!

A

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 04:15 PM

Oh, like us Californians don't know how to read. Of course we know about oleander and we also got the Neander line too. Sheeeesh.

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Gray D
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 06:40 PM

"And Pennsylvania is a Mid-Atlantic state."?

Yawl mussbe pretty guhd swimmers. Hyuk!

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 02 - 09:03 PM

Huh, who needs Puritans when ya got Quakers 'n Amish comin' out yer ears?!

Maybe that's why they weren't let to stay among them Puritans, huh? I can see why you might prefer it, after all!! :>) De gustibus non disputandum and all that!! LOL!

A

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: SharonA
Date: 27 Jun 02 - 11:06 AM

"Let to stay among the Puritans", hell! Didn't the Puritans hang Quakers? Kendall says so, here: BS: US ...pledge of allegiance ruled out! – kendall's post of 26-Jun-02 9:31 pm

A couple of years ago, Pennsylvania ran an ad campaign to promote tourism; the slogan was "You've got a friend in Pennsylvania". I had to laugh, because there are whole big bunches of Friends here! *BG* After all, ol' Billy Penn hisself was a Quaker. And where would the Underground Railroad have been without Quakers to help move it along? (I grew up within sight of one of the "stations" i.e. hiding places!) So, yeah, I appreciate living around that kind of a legacy.

Boy, we've strayed far afield from the subject of ol' Ann Landers, haven't we?!

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 02 - 11:18 AM

Some friends of mine believe their "friend in Pennsylvania" is the rumble strips so common on the side of the highways there.

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Genie
Date: 27 Jun 02 - 11:26 AM

Sharon, note that I specified "...botanically challenged non-Californians...," not all Californians. I wasn't questioning your smarts back there in the East. I, myself, an an avid gardener, but I'd never heard of oleander until I started frequenting SoCal, where it's all over the freeway median strips. Even then, if my mom hadn't mentioned it, I wouldn't have known about its toxicity.

So,

If you think that someone slanders
You with jive 'bout oleanders,
Don't just be a hurt bystander--
Vent your rage to ol' Ann Landers.

§;- )

Subject: RE: OBIT RIP: Ann Landers (music)
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 02 - 11:40 AM

They just hung 'em for coming out of their ears, Sharon; it had nothing to do with religion!! LOL!

A