punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)

Subject: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,mick/punch the horse
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 06:14 AM

What a weekend eh!! us playing on our own turf at the Hull Durty Nellies, Nellies at bev.singaround sunday and Roger, Maggies and Les's new venture at the sun in bev. on sun.

Hope every one turns up,we start at nine this Friday night.

Mick (not a member of Oakleys purple helmet golden rain team)

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Sir Roger de Beverley
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 11:34 AM

Yes, go and see Mick and the lads - a guaranteed good time for all.

R

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 01:00 PM

Sorry I won't be there on Friday but see ya Sunday -Mick I heard that you were Oakley's stunt double and were ready at the drop of a puce helmet to perch on his handlebars dispaying your many acrobatic talents whilst cycling over the Humber Bridge -is this not the case?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 05:28 PM

I have just seen Mr Punch the Horse (Mick) a couple of hours ago, he has got a busy weekend, he is also doing a gig in Lincolnshire, i cant remember wich pub though.If anybody doesnt know were Durty Nellies is, it is on High Street in Hull, very near to the Argos Superstore.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 05:56 PM

Skipjack is proving unusually wistful and difficult to pin down after his soujourn in the States. As a precaution, I thought it appropriate to launch the Moist Helmets Canoe Display Team at a fundraiser in South Ferriby tonight. (Sorry, South Ferriby UK - I know that this is an international forum) It went OK, perhaps not a spectacle, I accept that; but being a solitary venture, however lucrative, it is hard work in a ploughed field. No-one saw the urinary finale as it was below the gunwhale and now my arms ache like hell.

Les, Maggie and Rog; have a good 'un. Only the cycling and Wooton (sorry Wooton UK) prevent my attendance.

Perhaps my friend John in Hull can be persuaded to write a review. Assuming of course, that he is not doing anything more pressing on Sunday night. Whadya think John ol' buddy? Darn!! that drivel detector is consistent, if not sensitive.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 06:43 PM

hello akley, I wish i knew you was doing a canoe diplay thing tonight, i might have gone, I went to work but shop was reall quiet so i have gone home to drink some bear and look at madcat, i will be hapy to write a review, just tell me what to put and no problum.i just read youre message again, was you canooing in a field? i think you are a bit crazy!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:48 PM

I wish I had a keyboard like yours John its brilliant

Gerry

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:50 PM

John in Hull, It is important that you express what you feel in your own words. And realise that your own voice will veberate here much more.... reverberantly, (bugger that drivel detector) if you issue forth, freely and without influence from the likes of me or anyone. Review the LMR gig please on Sunday night! And yes it was a field, but not a ploughed field but a set-aside field (it sure felt like a ploughed field though). I will defend against allegations of craziness, but will admit to a little benign eccentricity, occasionally when pressed. Have to go now; I am darning a hole in my black leather hangglider in time for the morning rush. Lobsters.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 07:58 PM

Banjo-Flower, I don't know whether it's his honesty or his keyboard that has given me so much pleasure over the months. I suspect the former, what about you?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 03 Jul 02 - 08:09 PM

Oakley,perhaps we could discuss it at Wootton on sunday

Gerry

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,mick/punchthehorse
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 02:54 AM

Linda,

I have a great admiration for Brother Oakleys many and varied skills/talents.But a chap has his code.

Oakley's posturing and buck leppin' with his new found vocation of exposing himself on the Humber Bridge, leaves me slightly bemused.

I have tried and better tried to urge him to do something constructive with his spare time,like reforming with me "The Red Eyed Formation Drinking Team",with maybe a little light "Dwyle Flonking" on the side.

I feel, given time,and applying hinself to pastimes such as these he will forget the mummery of his past exploits with the purple helmet brigade.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 07:34 AM

Gerry, will make Wootton later on, but will be there. Playing with the family band at a Christening in Cambridge earlier on.

Oakley, I have warned you before about starting dangerous sports without drink. Whilst you were choking your biceps with lactic acid, I mounted a raid on the Brocklesby Hunt with my wrinkled retainer, played your Purple Helmets Theme Tune twice, without so much as a royalty, or even publisher's permission, and was assisted home gone midnight.

John, where can I get some bear? I'm not sure it's too PC to consume body parts of endangered species, but as a writer's catalyst, it sure beats opium. I salute you, sir.

Skipjack

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,Oakley with sore arms
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 09:20 AM

Skip, I have received reports of the Goxhill session via the Humberside Police Strategic Whistle Division. 'Twas a nice do by all accounts. My Moist Helmet display was judged to be confusing and irrelevant by the South Ferribians, who didn't understand and later drove me out of the village brandishing cudgels and torches whilst shouting curses, not knowing how much I admire multi-tasking in any form. I am undeterred, Greg but I will seek you counsel next time. Thanks for playing the tune, it must have been a highlight of the evening. I will be at Wooton on Sunday (at least in body) after giving me arse a right good pounding on the 164.

I look forward to seeing you and Gerry. John's ursine imbibing should be the subject of a tune. I am on the case, but any thoughts about a title?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 12:09 PM

Mick, Once again I'm going to miss it, Cleckheaton Festival this weekend and we're stewarding. However if you keep us posted we will get there one day

Raggy

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 03:11 PM

I haven't flonked a dwyle for many a good year -is it still compulsory?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Les from Hull
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 03:58 PM

Unfortunately, I'll be at the Kingston. One of these days, mate, one of these days...

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 04 Jul 02 - 04:36 PM

mick-whats dwyle flonking?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 05:01 AM

Linda,

Unfortunatly it is not compulsary anymore ( oh for those balmy/barmy days of my youth when we met of a sunday afternoon with a selection of the finest company to indulge in a little light Dwyle Flonking )

I am pleased that there is some one out there that remembers what it was all about,i am also suprised that there has not been any more enquires or anecdotes about said subject.

John,

I am delighted that you have enquired about this ( maybe young Oakley can gain inspiration from this epistle)

The ancient sport of "Dwyle Flonking" said to have been played by Richard the Third, involves a lot of heavy drinking.The rules of the game are fairly simple and have a very distant relation to cricket. The game is played by two teams of 11 and, like cricket, one team bats and the other fields

The Dwyle

A rag, soaked in warm beer or cider folded around a wooden stick. The Flonker,

He/she positioned at the centre of the circle, will flick the Dwyle at the opposing team. A back flick can catch the opposition unawares. A feint can cause the circle to break resulting in a point to the flonking side. ) The fielding team forms a circle, holding hands and rotating quickly round a bucket containing the Dwyle soaking in warm beer or cider.

The batting team sends in the first Flonker. He or she picks up the Dwyle and hops in the opposite direction to the defending circle. The flonker then has two attempts at flinging the wet rag at the opposing team. A body hit =1 point, a head hit = 2 points.

The referee will decide whether or not a shot has been a hit and will keep tally of the score accordingly.

If the Flonker should miss with both his/her shots, then the penalty or pot pot situation comes into play. On the referees signal the Flonker must try to drink a potty full of beer(usually the potty will have two well hardened walls pork sausages in it for the sake of realism) before the defending team can pass the Dwyle along a straight line from one end of the team to the other. Two points are awarded to the successful team.

Each flonker has a turn and then the teams reverse roles and play begins again. The team with the most points wins the match.

However,there are penalty points for spillage (1) vomiting (2) wetting oneself (3) following through (10) the "treble up "(disqualification and hosing down )

Note: there has always been an argument about belching and farting,my understanding has always been that these are quite acceptable so long as none of the above result because of this.

Before anyone starts throwing up there hands in horror, and defending there own areas rules,these are the rules as played around Hull as I remember them, even then there is the "skint version" were the rules are altered slightly when a pint can be substituted for the potty.

Great sport!!! just yet another of our dying traditions,maybe we should have a revival?

(volunteers one step forward)

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,Oakley, needing the toilet
Date: 05 Jul 02 - 05:43 AM

You've gotta hand it to yer man, Mick. Apparently it's tonight, it's free and starts at 9. Durty Nellies also serves a great pint of Bear.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,groupy
Date: 06 Jul 02 - 06:18 AM

Caught this great band last night for the first time.only because the name intrigued me. It is great to see musicians playing for the audiance on their feet and enjoying!!! themselves.This has restored my faith in proper live music, as apposed to the kareoke type that has become so prelevant of late. The explanation on dwyle flonking is great!! I thought this was a wind up, but there lead singer assured me this was not.This band is a must to see. I will definatley be going to their next gig.I was told that there is a singaround at nellies (every one welcome whatever your musical tastes, or you can play sing or not) in beverley this sunday were a couple if not all of p the h appear on a regular monthly basis.Hope to see you there.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Les from Hull
Date: 06 Jul 02 - 10:42 AM

Sure, Maggie and I'll be there, Sunday. I gave myself the night off from the Kingston (our usual Friday session) as Maggie wasn't coming out to play (work, not ill). So at last I got to see Mick and the lads in action. A splendid night. I even got a part-time job as Pete's guitar tech, as Pete has been to break an occassional string.

Might I also mention (again) the chance to see Mags and me and Rog live and in person in the Sun (Beverley) in the evening. We'll try to be as entertaining in our own way as those equine pugalists.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 06 Jul 02 - 11:09 PM

unfiortunatly i coiuldnot go to see pinch the horse on frifay, i had to go to werk because Mustafa's wife had a baby on friday night.It lookss like i missed a good night. Thanks for ecksplaining flye donking mick, it sounds a lot more eziting than cricket, maybe we should organise a mathch, maybe Hull catters versis the rest of the UK or something, we could play it in Peerson Park or that new stadium that the council are bilding, or maybe yorksire v linconshire, but there is not many of them, we could get on tv. when you said flye donking i didnt know it was a game, I Thought it was pulling funny faces with a tiolet seat round your neck, I know there is a name for thids but i dobnt know what it is.Excuse any bad spellings, (I am drinking sume chhep wine from Jacksons, (El Vino Medditeranno), don't buy any it is shite, it makes you pull funny faces.john

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 03:53 AM

That wine was definetely shit, but luckily I just found some beer at the back of my fidge, but it tastes of bananas (I can't remember how yoo spell bananas but you know what i mean), I think I kept my bananas tooo close to my beer and the taste escaped and got into my beer, so just think on , and bear it in mind etc.john

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 04:05 AM

(Dont put your bananas neer your beer).john

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,mick /punch the horse
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:06 AM

after yesterdays gig in bourne pete dean is now looking for a job in a skiffle band!! He actualy managed to finish the last set with two strings on his guitar,so a permanant guitar tech with punch the horse is not without it's atractions les.The only other person i have seen who can change a string as fast as him was Buddy Guy.

john, I think you are confusing "Dwyle flonking" with "Gurning".

Hope mustafas wife is o.k dont let her near the bananas and cheap wine, a lethal combination with all that curry, and definatly exclude her from the team, under rule four (section 2 clause 7b)of the "dwyle flunkers" manual (international version)

Thanks groupy for nice press, please say hello if you see us at "Nellies"

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:10 AM

I have annointed my sensitive bits with vaseline in preparation for Nellies. See you later.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:11 AM

Ey Up Mick the horse puncher, I'm hopping to get to Nellys later, though I might go on the bus, I am feeeling ratherb pissed at the minit,
Aye that was it (Gurning) thats the werd I was lucking for.see ya later.johhn

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 05:15 AM

Ey up aklkley you w posted while i was typing, hows it going mate? have you seen that Skipjack bloke ( Gary ) recently)? are ye's going to nellyies?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 06:14 AM

Hi John, I'm fine thanks. I will be at Nelly's later and plan to meet up with Gary later later this evening. Just try to get some rest now. Sleep tight, John.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 04:51 PM

Could you try and spell bananas one more time, please, John?

Gary

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 06:32 PM

I think it is bannanas, or is it banannas. I mean them yellow things that mokeys eat anyway.john

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Oaklet
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 07:21 PM

If I added anything meaningful, you'd swear it was John writing. Instead: I have a sore arse, a wistful countenance and memories of abuse from drivers on the 164. And a bloated gut. So that'll do. This is Oakley, South Ferriby, (UK) Goodnight. (Oh, and by the way, Wooton was good too).

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,The Deanmeister
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 06:08 AM

The above conversation has me completely flumoxed. So this is what you all get up to in the early hours of the morning???!!! Thanks for the review, Groupie. Did you get to Nellies yesterday? A little flumoxed as to who you are... Incidentally, is that how you spell Flumoxed? Or is it flummoxed? Help....at least I can spell bananas. I will have to keep my eye on you lot.

Later Dudes. Pete the Axeman.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 06:46 AM

Mick - your explanation of Dwyle Flonking is surely the definitive version. Marvellous and you were in fine voice yesterday -not even put off by the sight of Oakley's legs, which is more than can be said for the rest of us!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 09:50 AM

Thanks for that confidence booster linda.

The sight of brother Oakleys legs was slightly of putting, but as the saying goes, anything that would shock mick mcgarry would turn thousands grey.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,Oakley with an arse like a baboon's
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 10:28 AM

I was also put off my stroke by the appearance of my legs. They went down much better in Wooton however, so I suppose it is a north/south thing. Incidentally, I became a little unsteady later in the evening, and my good friend John (Cara's guitarist) bundled me, the legs and my trusty bicycle into the back of his landrover and emptied me onto the pavement outside my house. Bless him! Abiding memory from Nellies? Using Dobbo's pint to locate the puncture in my inner tube, thinking it was mine. What an understanding man he is. Hope to provide a full formation display of purple in August. What do you say, Skip?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,mick /punchthehorse
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 11:36 AM

oakley.

rumour has it that cara is playing at holy trinity in hull this coming saterday. Is this true?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull
From: GUEST,Oakley with a vivid backside
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 11:40 AM

Yes. Await the launch of new thread entitled "Cara at Holy Trinity Church Hull UK" very soon.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 04:53 PM

Gazooks, you've inspired me. It's time the Purple Helmets pulled on the flavoured mackintoshes, and thundered like pistons into Beverley, but without being sick, this time, huh?

August 4th, or whatever, we'll be there, bare, fair and square for the bibulous ride-past.

Sorry I didn't make Wooton, people, as the present Mrs S was expiring at home, but I debuted as an organ virgin at the Catholic cathedral in Cambridge, playing stuff for a fambly Christening. I served 'em up Planxty Irwin for starters, whilst they shuffled in, Morning Has Broken for the choral stuff, Lord of the Dance on buttons and bows, then the grand finale of Ashokan Farewell. The trouble was that my crowd all buggered off after the ointment bit, unbeknownst to me, and I was busy giving Jay Ungar's finest to a churchfull of God-botherers waiting to kick off the 3.45pm mass. Laugh? I nearly put some Euros in the collection!

One other thing is worth the mention. My lovely sons wanted to join in the playing, so I let them pull the organ stops out. The sign said "on no account use No 16 Basson". The boy waited for the final verse, but out that mother came. The spire nearly ended up in the font, and I declare siesmologists are poring over a graph showing techtonic shift in the Gog Magogs.

Skipjack

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 06:23 PM

Wicks's own brand drain-testing kits produce brown smoke. B&Q; red. It well be a spectactular smoke-fest but they burn for about 6 minutes on my test-rig. Those Red Arrows (who flew over my house last Saturday without permission) will be weeping into their Airtex singlets for months when they get a whiff of this. I kept the spirit of the 164 alive on Sunday Gary, though I missed the company of my accomplice. If anyone suggests that playing the organ is acceptable behaviour, just say no, and shop him to the the Special Whistles Division of the Humberside constabulary. Might see you tomorrow. Salut!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 06:49 PM

I am thick. Thus, I have just realised that The Deanmeister/Pete the Axeman (multiple personality disorder, Peter?) is one of my tallest friends. And has been so for over 18 months. (A friend that is, not the tall bit (although I suspect that he has been tall for ages)). Anyway, hello Peter! this is one hell of a way to idle away those precious insomniac hours huh?

Always refer matters of spelling to John in Hull, who can be relied upon.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:01 PM

Tanks for the plig akley, dont forget to keep your bannnanas away from your bear.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:02 PM

(they will make it taste funny).john

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:25 PM

Along with "never buy your underpants from a car boot sale", your advice will be my personal mantra for ages. Now get some sleep, John in Hull.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:31 PM

By the way, you are very welcome for the plig. But what in the name of all-that's-holy is a plig? I have to lie down now and try to forget.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:46 PM

sorry, I ment plog (not plig).joihn

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: harpmaker
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:57 PM

Idiots--Its "PLUG",-'y know, like him out the "Beano", who looks like **** out of punch the horse

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 08:04 PM

That's right harpmaker, my keebord is no good, i keep meaning to take it back to the ship.
PS Why is OAkley always telling me to go t sleep? I f I go to sllep now I wont get to sleep, i need to have a few bears first)
Another PS, see you temorrer.john

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: harpmaker
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 08:08 PM

look foreward to it!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley with fading bruises
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 04:54 AM

Harpmaker, thanks for the spanner on Sunday.