BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns

Subject: Armed Gang of Clowns Rob Bar
From: Hagbardr
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 01:47 AM

Armed Clown Gang Has Last Laugh Tue Jul 16, 9:52 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Police in the northern city of Manchester appealed for information on Tuesday after a gang of clowns mounted an armed raid on a wine bar.

Three men in fancy dress handcuffed a manager and threatened him with a sawn-off shotgun and a knife before escaping with what was described as "a small amount of money."

Police were not amused. "This was a highly organized team, who had obviously spent some time planning this robbery," Detective Inspector Darren Shenton said in a statement.

The gang made off in a van with police in pursuit, and managed to escape despite being involved in three accidents on the way.

Police said witnesses could not have failed to notice the robbers.

"There is no doubt that anyone walking along the road at the time the robbers were heading into or out of the building would have spotted them, especially as they were dressed as clowns," the statement said.

--------------------------------------------------------

I feel a ballad coming on.....

==Hagbardr

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 04:20 AM

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the universe...

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 05:55 AM

Nothing new. That Ronald Mc(deleted for copyright reasons) clown has been robbing us blind for years. And poisoning us in the process...;-)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:19 AM

That's more or less how a lot of Morris Dancing and so forth started off.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: C-flat
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:30 AM

I have visions of the get-away vehicle honking and back-firing as the doors fall off!
Meanwhile a line of keystone cops, frantically waving truncheons, snake out behind in hot pursuit.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 10:26 AM

Seltzer bottle at the ready, his four-foot shoes flopping, orange curls flapping in the wind, the villain strode into the bank and stuck his large red nose through the bars at the teller's window.

"Take it easy sister, and nobody gets hurt," he snarled, honking the large red-bulbed Model A horn strapped to his waist. "Mess with me and I'll fill ya full of seltzer, see?"

I tell ya ,it was a laugh riot!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 02:43 PM

The man in the red polka-dot jumpsuit and giant green shoes approached the astonished bartender. The robber's face was painted with a huge smile, above which a large red nose bobbed as he walked. His hair was an orange wig which stood out in strange curlicues from under a tiny blue bowler hat. From a giant pocket, he produced a black revolver and thrust it in the face of the bartender. "Give me all of your money," he said. "This," said the bartender, "has got to be a joke!" The clown fixed him with a grim look from behind his large fluorescent yellow spectacles and said "I've never been more serious in my life."

The clown bagged the loot and exited the wine bar. Outside, a tiny purple getaway car waited, containing 23 of his accomplices. The clown escaped and eluded capture, due to inconsistent and inaccurate descriptions by witnesses to the crime.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 02:44 PM

ROFLMAO!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: GUEST,Claymore
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 05:24 PM

It is obviously time to call in the Clown Posse... (armed of course, but then again this was Britain... how very American of them).

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: C-flat
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 05:30 PM

I wonder if the police checked to see if the circus was in town that day!

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:02 PM

The clown fixed him with "a huge smile", LEJ?

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: CarolC
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:07 PM

"Armed Gang of Clowns" sounds like a good name for a band.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:09 PM

I always knew they weren't the happy go lucky friendly things my parents always told me they were.... am I the only person who hates circuses??

LTS

(Oddly enough, there was one on the repeat of ER on Channel 4 today.... Dr Maluchi wouldn't treat him because he was scared of them.... is this an American thing or is it international? I'm not scared of them, I just don't like them.....)

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:11 PM

The Krusty Mob

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Hollowfox
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:23 PM

"Three men in fancy dress" = dressed as clowns? (hmmm....well...)

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: GUEST,DW at work
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:51 PM

Boy, when clowns go bad, they go REAL baaaaaaaaaaad.

Reckon they read too much Stephen King?

DW

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Mudlark
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:24 PM

I find clowns very threatening, tho I must say, the idea of a gang of them robbing a wine bar is a hoot. Next thing you know a gang of mimes will emerge, threatening to bore everyone to death if they don't turn over their cash...

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: GUEST,ozmacca
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 10:10 PM

May I say that I find the possibilities posed by this revelation endlessly fascinating. I mean, is this a radical new interpretation of "street theatre" becoming more reflective of the real world as art reflects the worldly culture around us, or is it simply an inevitable extension of already widely accepted practice, similar to the demands for payment by itinerant musicians and other exponents of the performing arts in general? And can I get as a job as their advisory critic and script writer? Or at least a share in the proceeds when they hit the big time, and try to knock over the Bank of England with an elastic fire hose, a collapsable extending ladder and three custard pies, making their getaway on unicycles, carrying the safe?

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 11:16 PM

"Can'tsleepclownwilleatmecan'tsleepclownwilleatmecan'tsleepclownwilleatme"

Thank you, Bart Simpson, for recognizing that Clowns *can* go bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Chip2447
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 11:24 PM

"Step out of the car. Keep your hands where I can see them. You're next, and you and you and you. Now you, and you and you. Watch that one Joe, he's got the pistol with the big bang flag. Now you and you and you. Frank, keep an eye on the one with the silly grin and the squirt flower. Now you and you, Hey what gives with the tuxedo...."(wait for it) "This one must be the ringleader... Chip2447, clowning around

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 12:40 AM

LOL!!!

Even though the heat are waiting,
You must Sneer, Clown, sneer!
When you see your chances fast abating
Sneer, Clown, Sneer
Don't let mere laws be a damper
Your type should never be hampered!
When the fuzz are drawing down on you, then
Sneer, Clown, sneer
Show them what a Clown can do who's true,
And sneer, Clown, sneer! As you're hauled off to the pokey
Hit them with one more bad jokey --
Be a Pagliacci!
And sneer, Clown, sneer!

Just so we stay musical about this you understand.... :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 04:40 AM

A man walks into the bank and tells the cashier:
"Give me all your money, this is a cock up!"

"Don't you mean a stick up?"

"No, I forgot my gun"



Gangster:"Right, all of you, lie on the floor"
Manager:"No, Miss Jones, face down, this is a robbery, not the ofice party!"

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Mr Happy
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 05:16 AM

cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny!

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 05:30 AM

Remember when the Marcel Marceau look-alikes mimed "Murder on the Orient Express" at the French "Le Boring" festival?
Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 06:31 AM

Just to be pedantic. From the description, these robbers were dressed as "Augustes" - the "Clown" is the one in the pointed hat and usually white, sequined costume, who never gets wet or dirty inspite of all the Augustes' attempts.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: GUEST,Claymore
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 08:51 AM

This whole incident, "huge smiles from armed clowns",etc merely prove the old American adage; "You can get more with a smile and a gun, than you can with just a smile".

I knew this United Europe thing was going to end up like America II; crime, racial problems and all. Europe is going to eventually look like a big New York, except everybody will have really bad accents ;)

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 09:06 AM

Europe of course has never had any crime or racial problems before this, right? ;)

Killer Clowns from Outer Space obviously another incursion.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Pied Piper
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 09:22 AM

No Liz you're not the only one. I went to a Circus as a chiled and hated it (full of people who were clearly insane). All the best PP.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 02:41 PM

I did like the tigers though, but thought they looked sad in their cages.... only went the once. Won't take Bratling to one, that's daddy's job. I don't do the clown thing any more.

Today's useless information - Marcel Marceau had his only speaking role in Mel Brookes' "Silent Movie" - he said the only word spoken in the entire film; 'non'.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Brían
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 03:56 PM

Go ahead, squeeze the wheeze. Many people like to....

Brían

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 04:09 PM

honk! There! You see? It doesn't hurt me a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Mountain Dog
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 05:31 PM

Somehow, I just knew we were all Bozos on this bus...

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Mudlark
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 10:18 PM

Always Leave 'em Laughing

Bozo the clown was a clown of renown
But his bank account was sliced and diced
He called on his clan
Clowns all, to a man
And they decided to embark on a heist.

"A bank!" suggested Chuckles, cracking his knuckles
It's as plain as the nose on your face!"
"You're an ejeet, by gob,"
Cried Barnacle Bob,
"For there's coppers all over the place."

"I've got an idear," says Bozo from the rear
"There's this wine bar in Manchester town
Where they swill down the grape
And they'll not be in shape
To come after a passle of clowns."

Dressed in clothes of wild hues, clown wigs and clown shoes
They went to the garage for their Toonerville car
It did take some time
To get in all twenty-nine
But soon they were off to the bar.

They agreed in one voice on the weapon of choice
A pistol used in all the routines of the gang
It gave a great roar
Then a flag out did soar
Proclaiming the mighty word BANG!

With big shoes flapping, and grins fixed in place
They burst into the bar as they'd planned
Flourishing the gun with a boast
"One move and you're all toast!"
And the whole place was completely unmanned.

They got clean away, and it's said they're free to this day
With their loot around them in piles
For the hilarious sight
Of 29 clowns in full flight
Had the whole place rolling in the aisles

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 10:46 PM

LOL, Mudlark!! One for the books!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 03:42 AM

... and they laughed all the way to the bank!

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 05:21 AM

Why the police really want them is that they entertained people - without a PEL !

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Mr Happy
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 05:32 AM

dave b

rotflmao!!

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: fogie
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 05:58 AM

Wait a minute I didnt know that clowns were a race! How long has this been known?

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 07:44 AM

Are they the same gang who stole that shipment of viagara? If so, they're hardened criminals! Boom, boom!
BJ

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Mudlark
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 12:45 PM

LOLOLOLOL......

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 01:21 PM

A subspecies -- homo chortlensis -- the diagnostic traits include extra wide lip membranes with typically bright pigmentation, and the unusual ovoid nasal cartilege structure; secondary identification can be made by measurement of the extended pedal extremities and, in some cases, the eyebrow arch.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Armed Gangs of Clowns
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 01:28 PM

Claymore,

"...Europe is going to eventually look like a big New York, except everybody will have really bad accents ;) ..."

No, that *IS* New York,
Europe is going to eventually look like a big New York, except everybody will have reasonable food and decent beer (as long as they're not in France)[1]

Walrus

[1] The French brew lousy beer - Great wine but lousy beer.