BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere

Subject: BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere
From: Big Mick
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 10:17 AM

I get so many of these, but I am still chuckling over this one:

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE NEXT PLANNED "SURVIVOR" SHOW?

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 4 kid's each, for 6 weeks:

Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes. There is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc. The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them and there is no remote. The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves, either while driving or while making four lunches. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas. The kids vote them off the island, based on performance. The last man wins only if he has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice. If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over again for the next 18-25 years - eventually earning the right to be called

"Mother".

Subject: RE: BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 10:21 AM

LOL!!

Subject: RE: BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere
From: greg stephens
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 10:23 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 12:37 PM

Doesn't Spaw already do all of that? Oh, wait...I think Karen said no makeup and no shaving his legs!

Good one, Mick!

Subject: RE: BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 02:01 PM

Up to the last sentence I wasn't sure this mightn't all be true. There are virtually no limits to what they dream up these days in the way of sado-masochistic "reality" shows.

This one here is said to be real (from the Guardian Diary rhis week):

Only on Saturday, with Big Brother in mind, Simon Hoggart considered the ever-diminishing gap, in the world of television, between satire and reality. Even Simon might be startled to learn of Sick Day.

The synopsis from Princess Productions (the geniuses behind Channel 4's breakfast show RI:SE), which has development money from E4 for a pilot and intends to make six 30-minute shows, unveils this premise: "A constipated Darryl hobbles around on his ingrowing toenail while suffering from crabs, halitosis and an acute case of gout... Sick Day follows three comedians in their quest to contract as many diseases as they possibly can, over a six-week period." How adorable. "From nits to scabies and crabs to gout, they will aim to contract the most diseases, in the most dramatic fashion, and suffer the consequences." Tell us more. "They must attempt to outdo each other. The sicker they are, the better they're doing." Words begin to fail...

...Reminding ourselves that this is a real programme, back to Sick Day. "Our contestants keep video diaries," reports the synopsis. "We see the comedians... performing their stand-up routine while ridden with nits, attending auditions having just shaved their legs with rusty razors... Because their lives will overlap, they get the chance to compare symptoms and even try to catch diseases from each other." These enchantments will be intercut with "standard fly-on-the-wall footage; opinions of the show's official doctor; quirky medical facts outlining the horrendous symptoms; secret footage of the boys' visits to doctors." Could you make it up? Well, could you, punk? ...

..."Contestants begin by paying a visit to the clinic where they are shown what symptoms they are letting themselves in for," continues the synopsis. "Initially, we see their attempts to catch the diseases. They will go all out to get ill. They'll jog in rubber Y-fronts, in order to catch crotch rot; go clubbing in search of crabs... As the series progresses, they become sicker, itchier and more irritated. Different combinations of diseases only add to the humour... by the end, they won't be able to breathe without itching, puking, limping or scaring passers-by."

Save only to wonder whether it wouldn't be best to infect the comedians (so far, bizarrely, no one approached has taken the bait) with Ebola in episode one, and save everyone a lot of trouble, that must be enough for one day. More tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 02:40 PM

It's nice to see them being honest about their psychosis, at least.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:01 PM

Now come on, McG! This has GOT to be a total legpull, and I don't believe it for a minute.

Subject: RE: BS: Got to be a song in here somewhere
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:16 PM

We'll see - here is today's installment from The Guardian:

"Yesterday we learned of Sick Day, the elegant show Princess Productions plans to make for E4 in which three comedians spend six weeks trying to catch unsavoury ailments (crotch rot, crabs, etc).

The E4 press office confirms a pilot is being made, but Amy at Princess seems confused. "Look, it's been really busy today," she barks. "We're really busy this morning, OK?" Aren't we all? Now then, Sick Day. "Look, it's not ours." Ah. Only E4 says it is. A pause. "Can you hold?" says Amy, after the style of a sulky 14-year-old. Seconds later, back she comes. "We've got no time for this, OK?" she says. "We don't know what it is." Curious. More tomorrow.