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The silliest complaint you've gotten
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Subject: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Marion Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:30 AM This thread is inspired by Genie, who in the nursing home thread said that she's had activity directors complain when she sang songs that mentioned death. Here's mine: At one time I worked as an English teacher in the Islamic School of Toronto; it was a small private school for the children of Iranian grad students, where the mothers shared the teaching of all the classes but English. It was a conservative religious atmosphere - the girls were veiled from about age 8 and up, and there were 4 pictures of Ayatollah Khomeini up on my classroom walls. Although I didn't wear a veil I managed to get along without too much culture/religion clash until I decided to teach a song: You Are My Sunshine. I only gave them the chorus, not (thank God) the "as I lay sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms" bit. Nonetheless, I got a call from one of the fathers to say that my love song wasn't appropriate for children. That was quite a surprise - what's more innocent than You Are My Sunshine? Anyway, I just hope the kids remember me as the teacher that taught them dirty songs. Marion |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Genie Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:58 AM LOL, Marion. Ya gotta watch those bawdy ballads! Re "nursing homes," though, my stupidest complaint (lamest excuse for a new activity director not rebooking me) was one where, after a program that was booked as a 1-hour program and for which she was present in the room for the whole program, the activity director said that I "played too long and (my amplifier was) too loud! Genie |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Clinton Hammond Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:53 AM The occasional people in my crowds who seem to take it as a personal affront that I don't know the song they're requesting... Or when I say I don't like the song they're requesting, and so don't play it... Since when is personal preference a slight against others??? Those are the people who make my head spin... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: SeanM Date: 29 Jul 02 - 05:05 AM Yup. I'm with Clinton - people getting upset that the band didn't know a song they wanted. Worked in an Old West themed comedy/music group. Had an older woman become very upset that we didn't know "The Flying Cloud". I *vaguely* know it, but it's really not a shanty I like - not my particular taste in them. Most of the rest of the group didn't even know THAT much about it. They specialized in western folk, jazz and the like. *shrugs* Whaddaya gonna do? M |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: kendall Date: 29 Jul 02 - 07:08 AM C.H. Tact is only noticed when it is missing.*bg* |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Mooh Date: 29 Jul 02 - 07:16 AM Sometimes it seems that one can't be a guitarist without being a singer. I am both but I don't pretend to be a singing entertainer, even though I will, once in a while, do just that. I can't sing 4 sets of pub songs from heart, and I don't want to. "You sing in a celtic band [well, no] and don't know Black Velvet Band?" Yeah, well, EVERYONE knows BVB I suppose, but that doesn't mean we have to play what we don't like. Along with that other cliche, Danny Boy, I just don't wanna play it. Especially if one considers that many people's tastes in such things run to maudlin. Oh well.
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: EBarnacle1 Date: 29 Jul 02 - 11:44 AM I recently did a nursing home gig of Liar's Bench tales. The booker was of mixed opinion about my set. She said as I left that they had never heard so much material from the residents and was pleased at how engaged they were but I was supposed to be telling stories for the whole hour. Well, I hope the real audience enjoyed themselves. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Pete Jennings Date: 29 Jul 02 - 12:14 PM Bloke in a pub once complained that I didn't play (Bert Jansch's) Strolling Down the Highway "like Bert". If only. Pete |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Sorcha Date: 29 Jul 02 - 12:16 PM A drunk cowboy once told us that "them bells is too loud".....we don't have any "bells" and it took us forever to figure out that he was talking about the tambourine lying on the wash-tub bass soundboard. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: MMario Date: 29 Jul 02 - 12:26 PM not music - but I'm spending my weekends running an archery booth - targets are painted on a wall constructed of "hay" bales (actually straw)- about 35 feet from the line where people are shooting. We have had people manage to drive the arrows through the hay AND the plank backboards using the childrens toy bows (about a 2 or 3 pound draw). Yet we get complaints and gripes (every day) such as: "Don't you have any arrows with hunting points?" (answer - Sir - it's hay, and it's tied down!) "Don't you have any heavier bows? I usually use a 60 lb compound." (answer - sir - it's hay - and only 35 feet away.) "Don't you have any bows with Laser sights?" (answer - NO. (please - this is a renaissance faire. they want laser sights on their bow? Do they have any idea where they even ARE????))
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: allanwill Date: 29 Jul 02 - 12:48 PM Worked in the Public Service a lifetime ago. Had to write to a guy, who was applying for a licence, that I needed more information before I could process his application. No word for a couple of weeks then I got a phone call from him, very agitated, screaming "where's my licence - I sent the info. you wanted". So I checked and double checked, but had definitely not received it and so I told him. "Well why didn't you write to me to tell me you hadn't received it?" Now why didn't I think of that? Allan |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Catherine Jayne Date: 29 Jul 02 - 01:48 PM I was playing in a youth orchestra chrarity fund raiser and I have never worn shoes when performing but black socks well it was Christmas so I decided to wear christmas themed socks. Everyone saw the funny side, even the conductor but my Grandma was sat on the front row and when we got to the interval she told me she wasn't enjoying it because of my socks!!!!! They were clean, but just to please my grandma I changed into a black pair! cat |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST,petr Date: 29 Jul 02 - 01:55 PM one of my friends who plays in a harp and flute duo did an audition for a wedding gig. The first thing the bride-tobe wanted to know was what they would be wearing and how old the fluteplayer was (as she didnt want any pictures of old people at her wedding). THey played some tunes for her at the end of which she asked the flute player if she 'has to breathe like that!'. They told her to get stuffed. (wonder what she's going to do when she hits 40). petr |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Sonnet Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:12 PM Another non-music one....It had been school photos. Several days after I'd handed them out to my class of eight and nine year olds, payment was trickling in, and one or two had been returned. One came back with an acompanying note. "Our Jonathan wasn't sitting up straight on his chair. Please can you do something about it?" Everybody knows that all teachers perform miracles on a daily basis!!! I twisted the photo in its mount, and hey presto, there was "our Jonathan" sitting to attention like a good 'un. Home went the photo again at hometime, and in came the money the following day! Jay |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:19 PM Well, I am reminded of some incidents back when I worked at a gas station. For instance, we were giving out a free decorated plastic glass to anyone who bought 10 liters or more of gas. I had several boxes of these glasses, but finally ran out of them one morning. Just after I did, a fat guy in a business suit, driving a cadillac, pulled up and put $20 worth of gas in his tank. He bounded into the kiosk with a big smile and said "Where's my free glass!" His jaw dropped like a rock when I sadly told him we were all out of them. You'd have thought the world had ended. I almost thought he was going to start crying... "But..." he stammered, "I'm supposed to get a free glass with my fill-up!" "Yes, I know," I replied apologetically, "but I just ran out of them before you got here. They're all gone. "How can they be GONE?" he demanded. "Well, other people took them all. See, here's the box they were in..." I showed him the empty box with the nice picture of the free decorated plastic glass on the side of it. "But it says on the signs that I get a free glass..." he said, pointing helplessly at several promotional signs outside by the pumps. "Yes, I didn't have time to take the signs down before you arrived. The last glass was taken just before you got here." He was now hyperventilating and his face was getting kind of mottled looking... "Look," I said..."maybe we'll get some more in. I could save one for you for the next time you come by." "I can't do that," he protested. "I'm visiting from New York State, and I won't be back this way again." "I see. Well, then, I don't know what I can do for you," I shrugged. He stared blankly at me for a few seconds, and then gasped the words I shall never forget... "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???" It was too much for me to resist..."It means you're NOT getting a free glass," I replied calmly, without rancour. "UNBELIEVABLE!!!" He declared, throwing a 20$ bill on the counter and storming out the door. He peeled out in a cloud of dust, heading for New York State and I never saw him again. This society is far too much into instant gratification, if you ask me... :-) - LH
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:27 PM And the friggin' glass was worth maybe 25 cents...if that. - LH |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:27 PM LH-You should have taken his name and a dress, and sent him one! |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: artbrooks Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:30 PM Unless the guy was slightly unusual, what would he have done with a dress? |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: andi Date: 29 Jul 02 - 02:58 PM I work as a phone tech support agent for an international (US BASED) ISP and about 3 or 4 times a week we get calls from Canada, usually a very welcome relief but there are those.... Routinely I am told by Newfoundlanders that I " need to loose mu accent before coming to work in their country" several ahve gone to the extreem of suggesting speech lessons. Because there are no accents in Newfoundland, don't you know ;) take care and have fun andi |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Ebbie Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:08 PM A tourist was overheard complaining that a glacier was too dirty, that "you'd think they'd clean it up before the season began." Not a clue that the "dirt" is boulders and sand that the glacier picks up in its slow travels, that the glacier is a mile away and that the face of the glacier is at least a mile and a half wide. (A local artist then did a superimposed montage of a man busily pushing a vacuum cleaner across the glacier; the caption says: ALMOST READY FOR THE SEASON) |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Genie Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:31 PM LOL, MMario, Ebbie!! Allan, from "It's a long way to Tipperary," "Paddy wrote a letter to his darlin' Molly-o, 'Should you not receive this letter, write and tell me so." LH, next time, just give the guy the quarter. You never know, he might take a fence at being asked for name and a dress. *G* A point of clarification re my tale about being told I "played too long:" I was booked to play 1 hour and I began and ended my program within the hour. (Yes, an hour may be too long for a program in some assisted living facilities, but then why do A. D.s insist on booking 1-hour programs?) Genie |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: M.Ted Date: 29 Jul 02 - 04:48 PM Once, I was in a 4-piece dance combo that played Cocktail Jazz and a little bit of Motown for banquets and office holiday parties(back when people hired bands instead of DJ's)--Ten minutes into our first set at a catered B'day party, the host's girlfriend stopped us because she couldn't dance to our music--"What do you like to dance to?" "The Rolling Stones", so the dutiful boyfriend slapped on "Goatshead Soup" or somesuch thing, paid us off, and told us to leave-- Genie: Had the same experience, and was told that the music was an hour on the schedule: twenty minutes to get everyone in, twenty minutes of entertainment, and twenty minutes to get everyone back-- |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Kim C Date: 29 Jul 02 - 05:15 PM Once, when I worked at an ice cream store, a man and his wife wanted their money back for two half-eaten (yes, I said Half-Eaten) ice cream sundaes because they decided, Halfway into it, that they were too small for the money, even though the prices (and descriptions) were clearly posted... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Genie Date: 29 Jul 02 - 05:19 PM Well, Ted, that's what made that A.D.'s complaint so silly* --during the hour I was there in their living room, I probably played and sang for no more than 45 or 50 minutes, and residents were coming and going, casually, during the hour. No one needed to stay longer than they felt inclined to. Genie *(Actually, I think it was more disingenuous than silly. Apparently, one resident did make that comment to her, but this AD had been rather rude to me from my first meeting with her --by phone--when she took over for the one who had booked me. I think she just wanted to bring in her old regulars from a previous facility.) |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: SlickerBill Date: 29 Jul 02 - 06:55 PM I was doing a set with a band one time, and was getting nothing of my voice in the monitors, and later I was told, nothing much in the mains. I kept asking for some vocal in the monitor, but the sound guy appeared helpless. After the set I mentioned it to the sound guy, and he says "your voice is too "low" (as in pitch). You need to sing "higher" to come through the system well." This is a system with a 32 band eq, mind you . Later I checked the eq; bottom end, about 7 - 10 bands worth, all notched out. sb |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Callie Date: 29 Jul 02 - 09:28 PM I've been laughing myself silly over these! Here's one from last night. In the midst of teaching the choir a new song, i noticed one of the tenors mispronouncing the word "clarity" from the sheet music. He was singing "charity". So I pointed out that the word was "CLARITY". He got defensive: "How do you KNOW it's "clarity" and not "charity"? Replied I (exploding with laughter on the inside, but appearing clam and patient on the outside): because it has an "L", not an "H". Still howling! Callie |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Mudlark Date: 29 Jul 02 - 09:47 PM Not musical, not a complaint, so a bit of a thread drift but..the weirdest question I ever heard: potter friend giving demonstration at a craft fair, throwing on the wheel, talking his way thru the centering of the clay, pulling up the walls of the pot, etc. etc. to the final lifting of the pot off the wheel head. Amid the admiring murmurs came a question from a woman who had been following it all very closely: "Yes, I see," she said, "but why do you make the wheel go around?" Dumbfounded, but with great aplomb he answered, "Well, because it's easier than running around the pot." |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: nager Date: 29 Jul 02 - 10:19 PM When a friend and myself entertained at a nursing home a few years ago we were warned by the AD that at least half the people in the hall were very hard of hearing. So we decided to use our amplifier and a couple of mikes to help our acoustic sound along a bit for them. Trouble was the staff sat all the deaf people at the back and those with adequate hearing at the front. We got complaints all afternoon with oldies calling out "It's too loud!!" or "We can't hear!!". |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST,Phil Cooper Date: 29 Jul 02 - 10:20 PM Hey, too lazy to reset my cookie. But, the weirdest complaint we got was one festival booking where Margaret and I sang Susan Urban's song "Da Co-dependent Polka." Someone was not amused and told us so after our set. I decided to take a survey as we walked up to the ice cream vendor in the back of the outdoor auditorium. The next ten people who talked to us enjoyed the set, and several mentioned that same song. Of course, it's the complaint that we remember on an emotional level, not the ten compliments that followed. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Genie Date: 29 Jul 02 - 10:21 PM Callie, HOH! ;-) |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Genie Date: 29 Jul 02 - 10:32 PM Ah, Mudlark, that pottery question reminds me of some "lightbulb changing" jokes I know! LOL! Nager, it's one of Murphy's Laws in residences for the elderly that the person with the most hypersensitive ears and/or the most overpowered hearing aid will be sat next to the amplifier in the dining room! This ensures that this person will constantly complain about the music being too loud, while most of the others complain that they cannot hear it! |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Liz the Squeak Date: 30 Jul 02 - 01:35 AM After a sponsored sing that lasted 40 hours from 7.00pm Friday night to 11.00am Sunday morning, non stop, we finished with the Hallelujah chorus, stopped, got changed and went to don our robes for service. After the service, one of the regulars who knew what we were doing and had been feeding us with sandwiches and coffee all weekend, complained bitterly that the anthem (Hallelujah) was not of it's usual standard that morning.... Sheesh!!! What did she want, blood? LTS |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Melani Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:16 AM Singing chanties with a group of 4th-graders aboard a square-rigger, the education officer told me I couldn't sing any more because I sing "too pretty". Sort of a left-handed compliment, I guess. I was also told that their criteria for kid's chanties were "no bad words (of course!), no drinking, and no splicing Sally Brown." So what's left? Then the first mate requested a favorite, with all unsuitable material removed, and they said no to that as well. The mate said to me, "Sorry, I didn't know the Chantey Police were on board!" |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Blackcatter Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:17 AM Greetings all, As a point, I rarely sing Danny Boy on stage, mostly because it just encourages all the people ignorant of Irish music to call out all the other 3 Irish songs they know. I did, however sing it at the funeral of the mother of one of my old high school friends - a lady in who's house I spent many a night and who really loved my singing. Her husband requested that I sing it, because it had been one of her favorites. After the funeral, someone actually came up to me and told me that I should have sung something "more appropriate." (I guess, "Bloody Well Dead" - perhaps?) Now, how many other people have gotten complaints for SINGING Danny Boy? |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Phil Cooper Date: 30 Jul 02 - 04:26 PM Blackcatter, I know what you mean about "Danny Boy." I don't sing it, but play it as an instrumental on the Bowed psaltery, usually in nursing homes. Margaret and I were playing for patients on an AIDS ward in Chicago in the late '80's. Someone, bedridden and probably within days or hours of dying, asked if we could play Danny Boy. I told him I couldn't sing the words but would be glad to play the tune for him. After I finished, he said "I would clap, but I don't have the strength." I know it's easy to make fun of Danny Boy, but I haven't viewed the tune/song the same way since. Forgive the thread drift. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Mooh Date: 30 Jul 02 - 04:59 PM Phil, you're forgiven. Since I think it was my post which first mentioned Danny Boy, and not exactly in a favourable tone, I will also admit to playing it with one singer who really CAN pull it off. Normally I avoid it altogether, but this singer, trained formally, classically, with a degree even, has had her experience almost fully in the folk world. She has the pipes calling alright, but knows too how to interpret the song. I don't find this as the norm. One lovely little church parish I know likes the tune as a hymn, as is common, but it just sends me to hysterics when I hear the whole church full swooping pitch and dragging the beat, not in any kind of unison, never mind discernable harmony. My complaint? People who request the same song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...even if it was just played. Since this has been the case with Danny Boy, I guess that's why I bristle at it so much. Peace, Mooh.
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: nager Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:00 PM Still off thread... but.. Have you seen the one hour TV documentary (from UK I think) on Danny Boy. Watched it out of total curiosity. How they could make a one hour doco on one tune/song? It was actually brilliant.. heaps of well known singers and musicians doing their differing versions of it including Eric Clapton.The greatest moment for me was a 50 plus Marianne Faithfull doing her version.. had to be heard to be believed... those who have seen it will know what I mean! Quintessential. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: SINSULL Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:14 PM Sinead O'Connor did a version too, I think. The show was brilliant. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Phil Cooper Date: 30 Jul 02 - 09:56 PM Thanks, Mooh (see you at the festival). Getting back to complaints, I was playing a rare solo gig years ago in a bar. There was a bachelor party deciding to pass out "novelty" gifts right in front. The future groom kept asking if I could play any Simon & Garfunkle. I didn't/don't know any and had yet to learn the trick of playing something else and claiming it was off a bootleg album. About every 20 minutes I would hear, "is he going to play any Simon & Garfunkle, or what?" Seventh or eighth time I heard this I said, "I don't know any f----Simon & Garfunkle, otherwise I would have played it a long time ago." To parphrase Richard Thompson, I was drinking more in those days.... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Genie Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:21 PM nager, -- What? No version of Cher doing Danny Boy (the song, that is)? Phil, in a vein similar to your post, I often have folks give me a request such as "Play a Patsy Cline song." Then I sing, say, "I Fall To Pieces," and they say, "No, that's not it." (They wanted "Crazy" or "Walking After Midnight" or some other specific song.) Occasionally, I've gone through 2 or three "Patsy Cline" (or "Elvis Presley," or "Frank Sinatra," or "John Denver", etc.) songs with the requester still saying, "No, that's not it." |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: dick greenhaus Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:43 PM After 14 years of managing The Digital Tradition, I find that I can't make a choice (though I'm partial to the person who complained bitterly that she couldn't find "THe Skyboat Song.) |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Blackcatter Date: 31 Jul 02 - 01:23 AM Dick, To me that's still one of the most incredible things I see around here after nearly 4 years of off & on visits. All the people who start threads for a song that is easily found in the DT. I run a website that is comprised of the lyrics of TV Themes. On the site I clearly state that all the songs I know are on the site, but I would welcome suggestions of songs I don't have, especially if someone has the actual lyrics. What I get instead is people asking me for a song that's not listed on the site (once again, if I know the song, its on the site), or even better yet, requests for tv themes that I know damn well are only instrumentals.
Recently someone asked if I knew the TV show that went with the lyrics: When I told the lady I did not know if that song was used as a theme and told her it was actually a famous song usually associated with Bing Crosby - she disagreed with me! She said it was from a show in the 90s, but she couldn't tell me anything about the show to help place it. pax yall |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Genie Date: 31 Jul 02 - 02:09 AM Well, Blackcatter, last week a resident at an assisted living residence where I was playing was quite disappointed that I didn't know how to sing Franz Liszt's "Liebestraum." I'm virtually certain there are no official lyrics to this piece, and if someone wrote some later, there may be dozens of alternate lyrics available. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Blackcatter Date: 31 Jul 02 - 02:24 AM At some point some one will expect me to put even the unauthorized lyrics of Liebestraum on my site because they thought they heard it on a tv show. I've already had people who have written a parody of a tv theme & ask me to put it on the site. I have yet to receive one that is witty and isn't full of vugarity. So I usually tell them about the Mudcat and that this is the forum they seek... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST Date: 31 Jul 02 - 06:50 AM Back to Danny Boy momentarily - best version in my opinion is Jackie Wilson's. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST,nobby Date: 31 Jul 02 - 07:21 AM I managed a golf course for some five years. Golfers must be the crazziest people on the planet. I have lots of stories but the best complaint..... I was sitting in my office when a regular golfer burst in smashing the door against the wall in a fit of rage. He bellowed " THE GRASS IS THE WRONG COLOUR" and then stormed out. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: CapriUni Date: 31 Jul 02 - 08:47 AM nobby -- I guess he was used to seeing that flat color of green you see for televised golf tournamentsr (never mind that in order to get it that way, they have to use enough water, fertilizer and insecticide to supply the agricultural needs of a small county)... Either that, or he needs to adjust the color control on his TV set... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Don Firth Date: 31 Jul 02 - 03:24 PM Neither musical or particularly funny, but about fifteen years ago I was working as a technical writer for the Bonneville Power Administration (same outfit Woody Guthrie wrote some songs for—Aha! There's the musical connection!). On my handy-dandy Tom Swift electric computer, I whipped out a six-page report on a group of residential weatherization inspections and submitted it to Ms. Hickey upstairs as I did several times a week. It was a mess of governmentese and statistical tables (which on one occasion I tried to edit into readable English and got my hand slapped for the effort). Several hours later, I got the report back—all six pages. Ms. Hickey had marked all over each page, but she only wanted me to make one change. Change a semicolon to a comma. I pulled it up, made the change, and printed off a fresh copy—all six pages as she requested, and sent it up to her. The following morning the report was back on my desk again, all marked up and with a note saying that she had decided that the comma turned it into a run-on sentence (at one time she had been a high school English teacher) and wanted it changed back to a semicolon. And please print out a fresh copy. The whole thing. I did as I was bid. Several hours later, back it comes. To make a long and silly story short, it came back twice more for the same flip-flop, complete with a fresh printout of all six pages each time. I think the only reason it finally disappeared was that the report was due and she had to turn it in to the Powers That Be. This sound like one of those apocryphal stories, but so help me God, it really happened! I have witnesses.
Four thoughts:— Your tax dollars at work. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Greenbeer Date: 31 Jul 02 - 11:49 PM Hey Genie, When it comes to Patsy Cline songs, the one that has come comes to my mind lately is "Get it Over"... you know, "hurt me now, get it over" and all that. Don't know why I am telling you this, guess it's just i can imagine really wanting to hear it when suffering from or recalling heartbreak (not that I've ever experienced anything like that!...lol) greenbeer |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Blackcatter Date: 31 Jul 02 - 11:57 PM Speaking of paperless office (and reinforcing a serious thread-drift): I worked as Precinct Manager in Orange County Florida for the 1994 elections. Part of my job was to hire over 1000 people to work for 3 days - once in Sept, once in Oct, & once in Nov. To do this I needed to see who worked in previous years to see if they were available. At the time, Orange County had state-of-the-art vote tabulating machines (as they still do - our county wasn't involved in that whole "hanging-chad" thing 2 years ago), but their voter registration database (and my employee database) was a shareware program designed 8 years before. I asked our computer department to print me the files of everyone who had worked the previous election. They couldn't select out those who did from those who worked other elections in the past, so they printed out EVERY file on an individual piece of paper - all 19,000 of them. They actually expected me to go through them all to find the records I needed. pax yall |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: RangerSteve Date: 01 Aug 02 - 01:47 AM The other day the water pump in our campground broke down, so there was no running water in the restrooms. We notified all the campers, and one of them told us that we should give people a 24 hour notice when the pumps are going to break down. Musically, I used to sit in with a bluegrass band playing at bars, and a common question was "Don't you guys play any good songs?". I used to tell them "no, we only play songs that we hate, we're masochists". |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Marion Date: 01 Aug 02 - 01:52 AM I like your story, Little Hawk - "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???" And Blackcatter, I don't see what's stopping you from putting up the words to instrumental themes. You can start with my favourite, the X-Files theme: Da da da da da da...da da...DAA. (Seriously though, the theme from MASH is an instrumental on TV but it has words, "Suicide is painless..."; maybe there are others like this, and that's what your people are asking about.) Marion |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Art Thieme Date: 02 Aug 02 - 12:22 AM I was hanging out at the bar at the Club DeWash in Madison, Wisconsin on a night that Peter and Lou Berryman were playing. A fellow came up to me and told me that a song I'd sung on my first LP called "Here's To You Rounders" by Don Lange had actually SAVED HIS MARRIAGE". Can you folks believe that? Eventually I sheepishly thanked him and walked away feeling ebuliant but chagrined and discordant nonetheless. Imagine that. What was he thinking? Ever since that night I've seen these utterances by people for what they really are!! Art Thieme (still laughing quietly to myself.) |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: MAG Date: 02 Aug 02 - 12:23 AM If Liebestraum is the tune I think it is, it is what John McCutcheon (or whoever) set "John o' Dreams" to. This was probably more my boo boo (or subconscious rebellion) but when once when I played a park -- up until then a regular thing -- I had all adults and two very bored 10-ish boys in one set. I played what I knew they would like -- you know: "George Washington was a fine young man, a lie he'd never tell -- but when he chopped that cherry tree down his father gave him -- Hallelujah!" You guessed it; the grandmother in charge complained and I haven't played there since. Oh well. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Blackcatter Date: 02 Aug 02 - 12:39 AM Hi Marion, I beleive I have all the "official" lyrics to theme songs that never were sung on the show, or at least not usually. I Love Lucy, Bonanza, Star Trek, Bewitched, I Dream or Jeanie and MASH all have lyrics. In the 60s, it was not unusual for tv execs to say no to the lyrics of a song for the show, but keep the tune. MASH is a special case, of course, because of the lyrics that are part of the original movie. Bonanza is another interesting case. It pilot of the show had the stars singing the lyrics and reportedly, that was the only thing that people who saw it disliked. The lyrics are pretty brutal - all about fighting - but hell, it was a western! My website is in the links area of Mudcat, and the address is: http://members.tripod.com/blackcatter/ That will get you to my welcome page and the TV Theme Lyrics site link is on the left side. It has over 400 lyrics and voice-overs (Twilight Zone, Incredible Hulk, The Prisoner, Star Trek, etc.) pax yall |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Blackcatter Date: 02 Aug 02 - 12:44 AM Oh, by the way, My favoirte question when I worked at the Mouse House 17 years ago: "What time is the 3 o'clock Parade?" Stupidest question at Disney: "Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" I swear to Whomever I was asked that question one day. I also have had the question after I've sung, "Why do you sing Irish songs when you're not Irish?" pax yall |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 02 Aug 02 - 12:47 AM blackcatter is your website from lycos? I have got one as well, i have been trying to find it for ages, i can only find it when i am drunk! I will tyr members.tripod.com/johnevans and see if it is there.john |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Blackcatter Date: 02 Aug 02 - 12:54 AM It is from lycos, but I think if you've signed up through lycos, my might have a different address Tripod. I'm going to pull my site off of Tripod, because a few months ago they changed the rules (yes, it's free, but still...) They dropped me down from 50 megs to 25 megs and severely limit the traffic. That is stupid of course, because since my site is popular, more people see their ads. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Genie Date: 02 Aug 02 - 05:14 AM Don F., Your BPA story reminds me of the time I was doing a study guide for a Prentice-Hall psychology textbook. The higher-up editor who had hired me warned me that copy editors need to feel needed and so will 'find' things that need to be changed. Sure enough, the copy editor changed every "though" in my draft to "although" and--you guessed it!--changed every "although" of mine to "though." Greenbeer, yeah, that's a great P. C. song that deserves to be better known than it is. Marion, in my experience, when there's a well-known instrumental piece, e.g., Chiapanecas or "The Mexican Hat Dance," --or when the words are in some language other than English--, chances are there are umpteen hundred different sets of lyrics to the tune (most of them quite forgettable). (Take "O Tannenbaum," e.g. One primary set of German lyrics, dozens of different English lyrics. I've never seen the same English lyrics printed twice.) Mag, "John O'Dreams" is set to a Tchaikovsky (sp?) musical piece (the name of which escapes me at the moment), not Liszt. LOL, Blackcatter! (et al.) |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Jeremiah McCaw Date: 02 Aug 02 - 01:33 PM Thread drift: Wonderful site, Blackcatter, it's now bookmarked under lyric resources on my machine. Respectfully - 2 you're missing: "Taxi" and "Rocky Jones, Space Ranger" (really obscure - probably had no lyrics or significant introO. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST,nevilledgreat Date: 06 Dec 02 - 11:39 AM not musical, but still.... I worked in a post office in Korea for 6 months while I was stationed there. You have no idea how many people a day would come in ask if we sold stamps. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Glen Reid Date: 06 Dec 02 - 12:20 PM For several years I worked every pre-Christmas doing a traveling variety show for school kids, sponcered by the Shriner's (Masonic Lodge). Part of the show was a female ballet dancer, complete with tu-th and tights etc. She would do her dance to the music of the "Nutcracker". After one of these performances (usually high school auditoriums)one of the lady organizers spoke to the M.C. and suggested that, perhaps the ballet portion of the show should be dropped, as she didnt think a scantily clad ballet dancer, was appropriate for such a young audience. Cheers Glen |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Merritt Date: 06 Dec 02 - 01:02 PM Used to play celtic, swing & pop instrumentals in a duo called Paper Moon - acoustic guitars, penny whistles, recorders, small sound system and such. Once, we're performing in a nice little country bar when these 2 jokers come in very drunk. We're halfway through the Star of County Down, and one of them asks loudly do we do any Black Sabbath. When we're done the tune, he asks again. "Geez," I say (hoping to distract), "you should've been here an hour ago. Our whole first set was pretty much Black Sabbath, with a little Alice Cooper and Iron Maiden thrown in just to keep it interesting." The guy's looking at me in a puzzled way and leaning off to one side, like he's personally channeling a special force of gravity that the rest of us haven't tapped into. Our friend the bartender sez, "Hey, you guys missed some great metal in that first set." The guy turns and looks at the bartender, and then turns slowly - with that careful imprecision of the drunk - and stares at me. Somewhere a tiny wheel is turning. "Yeah, well, that's all right then." He says; big smile. "Sabbath kicks ass." The two of them sit at the bar drinking beer while we continue with (I don't remember) tunes like I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter, Of A' the Airts, Uzièko Kolo, etc. A half-hour later, they lurch in the direction of the bar door. As they pass our set-up; the guy pulls a $5 bill out of his pocket and stuffs it in the jar. "That's all right then." He says; big smile. "Sabbath kicks ass, Man." - Merritt "Only that day dawns to which we are awake." - H.D. Thoreau |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: DADGBE Date: 06 Dec 02 - 01:14 PM I remember being at a ballads workshop during which an audience member stood up and yelled, "Don't you people know any lively songs?!" and stormed out. The rest of us laughed for several minutes. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Cluin Date: 06 Dec 02 - 05:28 PM I got "shushed" for clapping along to a fiddle reel at a Rankans concert once by some blue-hairs. Another time I got "shushed" was at the theater when I went to go see "Lord of the Rings". I started making Three Stooges' "Whoop whoop whoop whoop" noises during the scene when Saruman sets Gandalf spinning around and around on his ear a few times. Well, I thought it was funny... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Guy Wolff Date: 06 Dec 02 - 08:08 PM This is a pottery one . I had a couple come into the shop and after looking around for a few minutes the husband looks at me and very quietly asks "Is that blue decoration made with cobalt??? Is it Radioactive???" I held up my right hand sort of stiffly alianish and said "It hasent done me any harm yet" The man RAN out of the shop leaving his wife standing ,alone, in front of me. After some silence she said "Well He take this very seriously" . I guess so.. Funny ,they never came back .. One St patric's day I was playing a bar about 40 miles from home .. On our brake the Owner came over and asked us to go play happy birthday for a "private Party " in the back. we were ordered NOT to look at any one in the room .. We complied very carfully.... Well its not a silly complaint but we wanted to live to hear a silly conplaint again.. Some complaints should be side stepped at all costs!!!!!!! Ask Vido he knows >>>> All the best Guy |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST,JennyO Date: 06 Dec 02 - 10:18 PM Genie, I don't see why that guy in the service station would take a fence(sic).What would he do with it? Last night in a singing session, I sang "Me 'usband's got no courage in 'im" and one of the men, with a rather pained expression on his face, said "That song is not very politically correct. It might offend some men who have problems" Since when have folkies been known for their political correctness? I know a singer/songwriter who is very well known and sought after for his very lack of political correctness. My song (although I didn't write it) pales in comparison with songs of his, such as "Solar Melanoma Blues" and "Rectal Bleeding Calypso". I remain unrepentant. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 07 Dec 02 - 12:56 AM After fuckin twenty-three separte women in row... The raisen faced sod, said my rod, was a little to soft..for a another go.
Sincerely,
I did her as a sod, then I did her dod, then I did here maude once agin' |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: denise:^) Date: 09 Dec 02 - 11:19 AM The silliest non-music related complaint came from a parent of one of my kindergarteners, a few years back. She called the director of the school to complain that I had taught her daughter to make an "8" using this rhyme: "Make an S, and do not wait; come back up and make an 8." She was angry because she wanted her daughter to make an "8" with 2 circles... The goofiest music-related complaint came from a woman at a historical farm, where another woman and I were playing out in the gazebo. As I frantically searched to find a power source for my digital piano, (they said there were outlets in the gazebo--and there were; they just didn't work!) she followed me around, saying, "Where's the GUY? I thought you had a GUY! Isn't there a GUY?--" on and on, until I thought I'd have to strangle her with the 500 foot extension cord I was running out from the farmhouse! |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST,me Date: 09 Dec 02 - 11:56 AM these are from the national park service... "the wilderness should be sprayed to rid it of bugs." "the unmarked trails are not marked clearly enough." |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST Date: 09 Dec 02 - 01:36 PM Why do so many people spell so badly ? |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: denise:^) Date: 09 Dec 02 - 04:44 PM I think they type quickly, and probably don't read their messages over before they send them. That's kind-of a silly complaint, in itself... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Phil Cooper Date: 09 Dec 02 - 06:25 PM Margaret and I were playing at a Scottish Fair in the Chicago area, run by the Scottish Cultural Society. In the middle of a set, consisting of Robert Burns songs and ballads, while I was playing a set of tunes on guitar from the Gow Collection an elderly woman walked up to Margaret and asked if we did anything Scottish, like Amazing Grace. I think she sang Blue Bells of Scotland next, which seemed to work. They certainly weren't listening to our introductions. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Nancy King Date: 09 Dec 02 - 08:17 PM We get lots of ridiculous complaints at the public library, of course. When I was running the books-for-the-homebound program, there was a lady who continually complained that we were sending her dirty books. I was being VERY careful about content, so after this happened a few times I asked her what it was she objected to. "They've been HANDLED by so many PEOPLE!" she shrieked. So from then on I chose her books more for spotless appearance than content, and all was fine. Less silly (just ignorant) but more music-related: Libba Cotten, shepherded by Mike Seeger and Alice Gerrard, played at the very first (1977) Washington Folk Festival at Glen Echo Park. She was fabulous, of course, and a wonderful treat for our first time out. I was running the Festival office, and shortly after Libba's set ended, a decidedly non-folky woman came into the office asking where the concert was. "All around you -- we have a whole festival!" I said expansively. "No, no, no! I was told there was a CONCERT here today. I walked around and all I saw was some old woman with a guitar!" Cheers, Nancy |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Art Thieme Date: 10 Dec 02 - 01:27 AM That I shouldn't make a socio-political comment in an obit thread. What kind o' redneck'd say something like that??? ;-) Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Art Thieme Date: 10 Dec 02 - 01:29 AM That I shouldn't talk about condoms on Mudcat 'cause the kids might hear. Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Art Thieme Date: 10 Dec 02 - 01:33 AM That I shouldn't do what I want to do; only what you want me to do.---And it's "for my own good," of course. Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: J.R. Winters Date: 10 Dec 02 - 01:40 AM I worked at a small grocery store for the last year and a half or so of high school. Every once in awhile a man would come in and buy about a dozen of those econo sized cans of beans... you know, the 5 gallon drums of pintos? He would always complain that we never had enough, though he wouldn't call ahead or tell us when he would be coming in next. Like we were supposed to carry MASSIVE amounts of beans when he was the only one who bought them, at random, from this Mom and Pop store on the corner. Yeah right. -J. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Nerd Date: 10 Dec 02 - 03:00 PM Phil, Liam Clancy used to say the same thing; when the Clancy Brothers first started, little old ladies used to ask "Don't you do any Irish songs?" They were expecting "Danny Boy," "When Irish Eyes are Smiling," "Toora-loora-loora," etc. Robbie O'Connell eventually wrote a song about it, called "You're not Irish." |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Phil Cooper Date: 10 Dec 02 - 03:51 PM Nerd, I can understand. "You're not Irish" is a great song. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: denise:^) Date: 11 Dec 02 - 03:52 PM Well, this isn't exactly a complaint given to me, but-- A few years back, at the Berea Christmas Country Dance School, Jean Ritchie was there, and was featured at the pre-lunch 'class' (I believe they call it "Discussion.") Jean was talking about her life in folk music, how she began, etc., and answering questions--it was really interesting! Something different every day. One day, about mid-week, we were all sitting around the table at lunch, and one loud-mouthed woman, who "only came to dance," blurts out, "I wouldn't be caught DEAD at that discussion class! Why, who want's to sit around and listen to some old woman talk about her memories?" Her remark, of course, created instant silence and stony stares from the entire group around the table. Don't think she ever *did* figure out why... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: An Croenen Date: 11 Dec 02 - 05:10 PM I had just finished reading out a picture book to a class of 2.5 year olds, and since it was time to hand out some sweets for someone's birthday, I finished with: "and now we've got a nice surprise!" One of the little ones guessed with great enthusiasm: "A better story!" Ouch. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: JedMarum Date: 11 Dec 02 - 08:10 PM We had been asked to play a St Patty's Day party for a nursing home. We got there and they were all decked out! All the old folks in green, and hats, and shamrocks and all the happy St Pat's Day stuff that Hallmark makes! As Karen was tuning up her fiddle, getting ready for the show, a little old lady with a permanent scowl said as loud as she pleased "Oh Shit, that's all I need! I knew I sat in the wrong place!" Now, you gotta understand, Karen's a pretty darn good fiddler. This little old lady did not have a legitimate beef! It gets worse .... as we got about 30 minutes into the show, all the folks were loving it, dancing, singing, requesting their favorites ... the same scowling little old lady finally spoke up again and said, "don't keep playing all this Irish music. I'm not Irish ya know. I'm Jewsih. Don;t ya know any Jewish music?" So Karen introduced the next song was written bt Shel Silverstein (the little old lady looked happy) and we launched into a rousing rendition of The Unicorn. As only Karen has the patience to sing with humor and a smile! |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: JedMarum Date: 11 Dec 02 - 08:11 PM oh - Karen is Mudcatter Guinnesschick - not around so much these days, with a new babe and things ... |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Joe Offer Date: 11 Dec 02 - 08:55 PM I used to sing Rise and Shine (about Noah and the arky, arky) to kids in our Cub Scout pack, which was sponsored by a Catholic school. One of the den mothers complained that it was "too religious." I never thought of it as a "religious" song, although I suppose it has something to do with a Bible story... Sure doesn't inspire me. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Jeri Date: 11 Dec 02 - 09:23 PM Jed - here's a complaint: GUINNESSCHICK HAD HER KID AND NOBODY TOLD US!!?? Hmph! |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Midchuck Date: 12 Dec 02 - 09:53 AM So us Chucks are doing a daytime gig at the local farmers' market, and Kris sings the Berrymans' A Chat with Your Mother (the one that everyone always calls "The F-word Song." Afterwords, a lady comes up and tells Kris that she doesn't think that's an appropriate thing to sing with children present. Kris says, "But, it has no dirty words whatever! That's part of the point of the song!" The lady says, "Yes, but suppose my little boy should ask me what the 'F-word' is?" Kris asks, "How old is he?" The lady: "He's in kindergarten." Kris: "He knows." (Kris has been a public school teacher all her adult life except for a 10-year break to be a Mom.) Peter. |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: GUEST,BDog Date: 12 Dec 02 - 01:46 PM Many years ago I was a Service Engineer for a company dealing in photocopiers. I was attending a call to a firm who's copier had suffered a serious mechanical breakdown. I was busy dismantling the machine, surrounded by bits of discarded photocopier, when I woman walked into the room. She looked at the pile of bits, then looked at me and asked, "Is it alright if I use the photocopier?" "Sorry, It's broken." I said, stating the obvious. "But I only want to do ONE copy!" (Oh, the temptation to offer her my pen and a piece of paper.) "I'm afraid it'll be a while yet." I said, trying not to laugh, cry or get annoyed. At that she stormed out mumbling something about me being unco-operative. Perhaps the number of mechanical parts required for the machine to operate was proportional to the number of copies required, and I just didn't know. Brian |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: DebC Date: 12 Dec 02 - 02:07 PM Just coming out of lurk mode here: I did a kid's show last October. About a week later, I received a letter from the venue telling me that there were "numerous" complaints concerning the songs that I sang with the kids. The complaints specifically named a particular song, saying that the lyrics were "inappropriate" for children. The song in question? "The Thinnest Man". Debra Cowan |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Auxiris Date: 13 Dec 02 - 11:17 AM Not a "musical" complaint, but cat-related so maybe it's relevant: when we were living in a flat in Nancy, our downstairs neighbours complained that our cat made too much noise walking. cheers, Aux |
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Subject: RE: The silliest complaint you've gotten From: Catarina Date: 13 Dec 02 - 12:07 PM I was trying to get my 15 year old students interested in something. They hated reading, they hated writting, they hated music... So I got them talking about TITANIC, the movie. Great class, everyone realy into it, then they begin talking about the little submarine that went all the way down there and one of the boys just says: "I don't see why they had to send the sub all that way down. I mean, after all these years, everybody inside the ship must be dead, no?" |
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