BS: Sheriff G W Bush by 'Mark Twain'

Subject: Sheriff G W Bush by 'Mark Twain'
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Aug 02 - 10:17 AM

Out at the Flint Eastwood chicken farm.
............................................................................

Sharef Jarge I ain't got no quarrel with you,
its the damn railroad men that want my land.

Bart, yer gonna hafta take the money or face yer maker.

Oh Sharf, please no. Yer not one ofem too...

Black Bart yer gonna eat lead or clear out.

'but i dont have no gun'

The Sheriff throws one down on the ground in front of Bart.

"Go ahead , reach fer it"

'I dont wanna'

"Go ahead ya coward , I'll give ya a count to 3. One Two
BANG "

Black Bart bites the dust.

Sheriff... Sheriff its deputy Dick don't shoot.
Both banks in town jus bin blowed up.

Didja see who did it?

No Sheriff...

I spect I knowd who did it. Ben Fagen that no good, one way snake in the grass. An ta think my daddy taught that boy to shoot.
Were gonna hafta round up a posse ! ...

High in the Terry Berry hills.
-----------------------------------------------------------

He's up thar in those rocks somewhere. You go around and come up the back while we cover you.

But thats Indian territory back there...

Wouldja rather we walk straight up that mountain in plain sight?

Maybe we kin just burnem out?

The winds goin the wrong way. It'll just come back on us. Now git on up thar and flush him out from behind.

Sheriff can't we jus head em off at Mule Packer pass?'

"Just do what I say. We're stayin here in case they double back."

But Sheriff they might git away an cross into injun territory. You know they're thicker than thieves.

Quit cherwhinin, make mistake no bout it. Jus git in them caves an once urine, fire off some wornin shots.

What?

Umm, Make no mistake about it...Never mind that. Were stayin here an you go flush em outta them caves back toward us.

------------------------------------------------------------
"Sheriff ,they gotta way. They're holed up in Injun country and the heathens said they won't handem over."

'We'll just ride in with our posse and takem'
v

"Well Sheriff some of the boyz down thata way are kinda skittish to face them injuns. They're the only ones in them parts that got big guns"

A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do, Were goin in.
We want Ben Fagen Dead or Alive. Were gonna huntim down ,smokim out, and bringim to justice or my name ain't Sheriff Jarge. Were gonna git every last one ofem.

Are you comin with us Jarge?

No, but yer a goin.

"Thats stretchin it Slim. No matter how ya cut it we're out numbered up there"

Yeah? Well...mebbe yer right Dick, it don't matter no never mind. While they're in there we got their land fer the railroad line.

Ya know Jarge, while were at it we might think about killin the Irapaho chief so we kin git at them gold deposits once an fer all.

That ain't a half bad idea. My Daddy took on them Iraps an nearly had em too
iffin it hadn't been fer them Fort Jude Generals bein afeard ofa injun uprisin.
Tell ya what...
Lets head on back ta town, declare marshall law an git some more men.

Do ya think they'll buy it?

Hellsbells, half never belived me when I tole the truth an the other half believed every lie I tol'em.

Yep, an half never even voted fer ya.

What was that?

Uhh, nothin Sheriff I was jus thinkin, what about Ben Fagen ?

He's probly dead already. Now lets git us some gold an co - lect some of that railroad money.

Yee Haaw

Back at the tumble weed saloon
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Jeb: Hey deputy Dick don't shoot , how ye been?

Deputy Dick whispers to Jeb: Thank God fer yer daddy's sake that steerin Jarge is as easy as lettin the horse find its way home while he's sleepin in the saddle.

Jeb: Should we tell'em we knowd that the banks might be blowed since the 4th a July?

Dick: Are you nuts? He'd blame the whole galldurn thing on us.
By the by whare is yer brother Jarge?

Jeb: He wuz tellin Daddy back home bout howee got Ben Fagen single handed when he choked ona pretzel real bad.

dh 2002

Subject: RE: Sheriff G W Bush by 'Mark Twain'
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Aug 02 - 11:19 AM

FYI: "quitcherwhinin'" is one word *G*

Subject: RE: Sheriff G W Bush by 'Mark Twain'
From: An Pluiméir Ceolmhar
Date: 08 Aug 02 - 12:17 PM

And while we're at it, who says GW can't talk proper? He has no difficulty with the six-syllable word wepnzamasterstuxyan.

Subject: RE: BS: Sheriff G W Bush by 'Mark Twain'
From: DougR
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 01:24 AM

Mark Twain must be spinning in his grave.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Sheriff G W Bush by 'Mark Twain'
From: old moose
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 03:06 AM

he sure aint dyin laffin

Subject: RE: BS: Sheriff G W Bush by 'Mark Twain'
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 12:47 PM

Actually when you include the stage directions of Arabs sneaking right behind their back and passing opium and weapons and a few workers carry Caspian Oil pipes it is a decent SNL sketch. Not one you will see in this current political climate but funny nonetheless.