BS: Chat Up Lines

Subject: Chat Up Lines
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 05:46 AM

I know that there has probably been a thread about this before and this one isn't musical but it made me laugh.

Last night while waiting for a bus after a session I was approached by a man who said "Fancy a S**g? come to Walthamstow?" Well I had to laugh because the number bus to Walthamstow is the number 69!! The guy was being a tad optamistic!!! My boyfriend just raised an eyebrow.

cat

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: lady penelope
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 05:51 AM

A friend of mine ( she looks like a pocket Barbie ) was proudly informed by a bloke on the pull that he had a "Prince Albert" piercing. What did she think? Her response was classic...."Well, I wouldn't date any girls with braces, then".

TTFN M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 06:05 AM

My favorite chat up line as told to me by a bloke who was never without two or three women on the go at a time (so I presume that it works) is "have you got a fridge?"

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 06:09 AM

Saw the line yesterday "nice legs, what time do they open?". Tut tut. Where's all the romance gone? ;)

Best chat up thing I've had in a while was when I was complaining to a friend that I was getting attacked by mosquitoes. I said "I think I must be really tasty" whereupon the guy sitting on the other side of me (who I didn't even know was listening) leaned over and bit me on the shoulder. It was daft enough that it worked.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 10:05 AM

LOL!!!

If the man is relaxed and being himself it usually works, it works even more if he buys me a drink!!!!!

I don't like it when men use corny chat up lines. They don't work on me. But they make me laugh!!!

cat

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Firecat
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 10:14 AM

I'd better watch out then!

The worst one someine used on me was "Are you tired?"
Me: "No, why?"
Him: "Cos you've been running through my mind all night"

I wasn't taking this so I calmly said "Yeah, I was trying to get away from you! Goodbye!" and walked off!

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 10:39 AM

Best Barnsley ones are 'Get thee coit lass thaw's pulled' or 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'. Sid the Sexist of Viz fame had the following 'I was wondering do you sleep on your stomach ? Cos if you don't do you mind if I do !!'

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 11:00 AM

GUEST Mc FAT, could you by any chance translate that first one into English?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 11:38 AM

I think it is "get your coat dear you have been very succesful in gaining my full and undivided attention so lets leave this place and be alone somewhere"

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 01:23 PM

A memorable country song a few years had the line "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

So, "Chat up lines" are "come on's..." Never heard the term..

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Amergin
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 01:52 PM

mine is so how about we go run off some where and have lots of pagan children?

unfortunately it has yet to have the desired effect....it either gets laughed at....or my face slapped....have a photo album at home full of pictures of various handprints....

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: DougR
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 02:01 PM

You mean, "You look familiar. Haven't I met you somewhere before?" doesn't work anymore?

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 06:02 PM

Ya' know, I'm interested in the fact that so many of these are pretty straightforward. Before I was married, I was on the road all the time and to be truthful, I gave up on all the simpleass stuff just to get laid. I started sitting down and after a few "Hi, how are you and the the like, I'd asked, "Listen, before we get into a few more drinks and dinner and all of that, are you interested in a a good old fashioned one night stand?"

Worked about as well and saved a lot of time and money.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 06:10 PM

Trust you Spaw!!!!!

cat

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Morticia
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 06:48 PM

one of the most memorable, in a long and largely tedious list was a chap who dipped his fingers into my pint, flicked the beer on to my clothes and then said with a leer " Let me help you out of those wet things". He didn't succeed but I did laugh and even let him live after touching my pint.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 08:05 PM

I knew a fellow when I was in college..(well, I attended several parties at his place) who was sort of famous for his technique....he would walk up to a woman in the student union and basically ask, "hey, baby..how about it?"...if he got a "huh?" or a "how about what?", he'd just shrug, say "never mind", and move on to the next one!.

He was asked one if he didn't get a lot of rude replies or his face slapped...."Yeah", he said, "but I get laid a lot, too...and I can ask 20-30 in the time it takes you to chat up one...and it seldom takes more than that."

His house was a quaint little thing with rambling rooms, art on the walls, a harpsicord in the living room, and a bathroom (WC) with two sliding doors without locks. Once, at a party, I noticed that when a woman had to use it, she'd get two friends to guard the doors....the only thing was, the front walk to the house led right toward the window to the little room, then made a sharp left to the door on the other side of the house, and there were no curtains!....and it was 3/4 of the way thru the party before anyone noticed...still, invitations to his parties were highy prized....

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 11:20 PM

One I like is - "Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather just have the cash?"

Chanteyranger

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: DougR
Date: 09 Aug 02 - 11:25 PM

Cat: Fatal mistake. :>) DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Aug 02 - 12:01 AM

Guy: Pardon me for staring, but you look just like my second wife.

Girl: Oh, really. How many times have you been married?

Guy: Once.

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!! I'm not really going to post this am I? A new personal low! Somebody stop me before I click the Submit Message button...... PLEASE!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 10 Aug 02 - 07:03 AM

A guy came up to my friend and dipped his fingers into her JD and coke, took out a piece of ice, threw it on the floor and stood on it then said "That broke the ice, now would you like to come back to my place to get better acquainted?" My friend gave him "the you're gonna die look" and said "No but I'll have another drink and make it a large one"

cat

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Firecat
Date: 10 Aug 02 - 12:59 PM

How about "Here's 20p, go ring your mum and tell her you're not coming home tonight!"

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Dorrie
Date: 10 Aug 02 - 08:13 PM

dorrie-if i could rearange the alaphabet i'd put 'u' and 'i' together

holly-is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven

would you like to go halves on a baby

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 11 Aug 02 - 07:27 PM

I used to go into a bar on my way home from backshift and the girls behind the bar used have my pint of Guinness pulled to perfection between the time i came thro the oor and got to the bar.
Being a creature of habit I also asked for a packet of salted peanuts. One night i decided that my less than youthful figure could do without the peanuts, but the, early twenties long haired blond behind the Bar, said "Nuts" I said " Yes , about You , but I'm to....oo shy to tell you" she went crimson and smiled.
However I got a free pint a few weeks later, Guinesss goodies at St Particks week, and a long lingering kisss at Christmas. Was that not a successful one liner? I stll think about it!

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 11 Aug 02 - 08:29 PM

"how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "unfertilized now bugger off"

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 03:21 PM

Back in the good, liberated 70's and early 80's before I was taken out of circulation, "I'd like to spend a warm and friendly night getting to know you better" was always well received--or at least often enough that it was worth saying. It generally turned out to be true, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 06:02 PM

EBarnacle, thats more like it. The truth behind that is more like it. However the meaning behind it is probably closer to the truth these days......if a guy says he wants to get to know you better it generally means 'can I find out in bed'! I know this is not typical of most blokes but it tends be apick up line in most clubs and bars I've been too!!

cat

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Gray D
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 06:16 PM

Cat,

You're not reading between the lines with 'Spaw.

All us blokes know that "Worked about as well and saved a lot of time and money" means he still didn't get any.

(snicker)

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: harpgirl
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 06:31 PM

from my nineteen year old son:

"Did you wash your pants in Windex cuz I can see myself in them!"

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 11:40 AM

There was no question, even then, that the intent was to end up in bed. The rest of it was also valid. Making each other happy is and was a pleasure. Several good relationships developed that way. Interestingly, no one night stands did.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Hippie Chick
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 11:47 AM

"You look familiar, haven't we met?" I love that one. I take it as a straight line and hypothesize where it could have been. Works wonders for getting rid of 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: GUEST,jimbo
Date: 07 Dec 02 - 05:22 PM

your so hot you would even make the devil sweat

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: GUEST,volleyballs#1
Date: 07 Dec 02 - 10:38 PM

hey waz up anyone wanna chat

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: GUEST,DW at work
Date: 08 Dec 02 - 10:28 PM

My new lady chatted me up.. I didn't stand a chance.. I'm still in shock over it!

It began with

'Ma'am, can I see some ID please?'

'Got my name tattooed on my butt, wanna check that?'

Sorta went downhill from there. She doesn't really.

DW

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Noreen
Date: 09 Dec 02 - 11:45 AM

A rather unsuccessful line from the weekend, was from the chap who told me I reminded him of his mother! :0) (To be fair to him, he did look thoroughly embarrassed when he realised what he'd said...)

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: GUEST,'orny
Date: 09 Dec 02 - 11:58 AM

hey luv Im embarassed I've got a hard-on and want to hide it somewhere, can you help.

was one which worked for a friend of mine in the 70's

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 09 Dec 02 - 12:00 PM

How about this one.
You are walking along at night and you look at the sky and point out a constellation and then half way through showing you great knowledge you stop and say "why am I looking at the stars when I have an Angel by my side"

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Dec 02 - 05:57 PM

Noddy, say that to several "ladies" of my acquaintance and you'll likely end up with a pocket full of puke....

I believe the embarassed young gentleman tried to make it up to Noreen by saying hers were bigger than his mums.... I somehow don't think he was talking Yorkshire puddings.... I say believe, because he had a particularly strong accent and was several sheets to the wind.... I'm no longer fluent in beerbollocks, so was mostly lipreading and guessing the rest.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Firecat
Date: 09 Dec 02 - 07:30 PM

A friend of mine's boyfriend's best line was "Are you good at maths? Well, add a bed, subtract clothes, divide your legs and let's multiply." I pointed out that if a lad used that on me, the sum would be either my hand + his face = pain, or my knee + his "private sector" = more pain!

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: ballpienhammer
Date: 09 Dec 02 - 09:56 PM

"lets go get lost somewhere" or "let's go for a walk" worked pretty well for me in the old days. A walk got the legs moving, the eyes looking and lots of small talk out of the way quickly. Altho one night my new friend and I walked around Copley Sq. about a hundred times before we went to her place.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: mack/misophist
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 03:34 PM

A while back during the stand up comedy phase, a local paper asked a bunch of comedians the same thing. The only one I can remember is "Don't scream!"

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Dec 02 - 07:52 PM

I swear this really happened and fairly recently:
I was standing on a corner in the rain waiting for a bus. A man came flying out of the OTB (betting parlor) across the street, ran in front of several cars, and arrived breathlessly at my side. He announced "I spend a lot of time in Atlantic City. They give me a free room because I am a regular. I get free tickets to all the shows, even Bobby Rydel. Wanna go with me this weekend?" I replied "No." He ran back across the street. Left me wondering how often that line was successful...and what the hell he was thinking.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 02:36 AM

Sorry I'm a bit distracted... I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Did you know you've got 206 bones in your body? Want one more?

That's a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?

(lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Oh, I'm sorry! I thought that was a braille name tag.

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles... and even farther for that thing you can do with your tongue.

Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

Well, I don't really care but my crotch would like to buy you a drink.

Wanna come over to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

Do you sleep on your stomach? Well, can I???

Do you wash your pants in Windex?... Because I can sure see myself in them.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: mooman
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 04:20 AM

Well I think Lady McMoo's takes quite some beating:

Says she (at a noisy gig) in very measured precise language (I had long curly black hair in those days and perhaps looked a bit "ethnic"):

"HOW....LONG....HAVE....YOU....BEEN....OVER....HERE...?"

Me (straightfaced):

"Oh...about 26 years...!"

It went surprisingly well after that (just about 25 years ago)!!!!


moo

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 04:44 AM

A couple of Put-Down lines.

Sorry - I don't date outside of my species.

Do you need a lift ? - not really, I live in a bungalow.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 12:43 PM

Think my son is practising (aged 3) cos when he came into our room yesterday he looked casually across the bed and said "Ooh I like your boobies!"
Don't remember Geoff being quite so direct!! There have over the years been a number of chat up lines on the same subject though eg "Those look heavy can I hold them for you!"
" Do we get meat and veg with those?"
Don't really work as chat up lines.
Got together with my first husband at a party two years after we had originally met - his line was (as he walked in the room) "God I've missed you. " and kissed me. I was so taken aback that I did talk to him and eventually married him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 12:44 PM

"Lie down, I think I love you"

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 06:42 PM

"I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room."

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Gareth
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 06:51 PM

Baaaaah ?

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Feb 03 - 06:57 PM

"The voices in my head said I should come over here and talk to you."

Subject: RE: BS: Chat Up Lines
From: iRiShBaBe
Date: 20 Feb 03 - 05:11 PM

1) ive lost my phone number, can i have yours?

2) take some ice from a glass, put it on the ground and stamp on it, then say ' now ive broken the ice, fancy a shag?'

3) check someone's clothes tag and when they ask what ur doin u just say 'im just checkin 2 c if youre made in heaven'

4) how about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up! for male use only, unless... ;)

5)nice clothes, they'd look even better on my bedroom floor!

6) this happened to a friend of mine the other night.. she was talking to her friend when a guy came up to her and asked her friend to dance, she rarely gets asked and so she jumped at the chance, then the bloke says ' great, so f*&k off so i can chat to your mate'.. needless to say that guy left with one less leg that night!

have fun!