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BS: I am an alchoholic

GUEST 17 Aug 02 - 05:44 PM
GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser) 17 Aug 02 - 06:10 PM
GUEST,mg 17 Aug 02 - 06:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Aug 02 - 06:40 PM
GUEST 17 Aug 02 - 06:44 PM
Liz the Squeak 17 Aug 02 - 07:07 PM
Bobert 17 Aug 02 - 08:52 PM
Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull 17 Aug 02 - 08:54 PM
X 17 Aug 02 - 08:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Aug 02 - 09:11 PM
X 17 Aug 02 - 09:25 PM
The Pooka 17 Aug 02 - 10:15 PM
YOR 17 Aug 02 - 10:16 PM
pattyClink 17 Aug 02 - 10:41 PM
GUEST,D 17 Aug 02 - 10:55 PM
GUEST,friend of bill w. 17 Aug 02 - 11:06 PM
GUEST,D 17 Aug 02 - 11:07 PM
GUEST,CC Rider 17 Aug 02 - 11:33 PM
momnopp 18 Aug 02 - 12:02 AM
GUEST,Guest, another friend of Bill W. 18 Aug 02 - 12:10 AM
Jimmy C 18 Aug 02 - 01:24 AM
Mudlark 18 Aug 02 - 02:15 AM
Liz the Squeak 18 Aug 02 - 08:00 AM
Clinton Hammond 18 Aug 02 - 09:59 AM
Peter K (Fionn) 18 Aug 02 - 10:39 AM
Liz the Squeak 18 Aug 02 - 12:41 PM
GUEST 18 Aug 02 - 02:41 PM
Liz the Squeak 18 Aug 02 - 02:55 PM
Morticia 18 Aug 02 - 03:03 PM
open mike 18 Aug 02 - 05:04 PM
kendall 18 Aug 02 - 05:38 PM
wilco 18 Aug 02 - 07:33 PM
GUEST 18 Aug 02 - 08:04 PM
momnopp 19 Aug 02 - 12:38 AM
Liz the Squeak 19 Aug 02 - 02:38 AM
fogie 19 Aug 02 - 06:10 AM
Troll 19 Aug 02 - 06:21 AM
GUEST 19 Aug 02 - 07:05 AM
Mr Happy 19 Aug 02 - 07:24 AM
Pied Piper 19 Aug 02 - 07:27 AM
RichM 19 Aug 02 - 07:39 AM
GUEST,Souter 19 Aug 02 - 07:52 AM
InOBU 19 Aug 02 - 08:11 AM
mack/misophist 19 Aug 02 - 10:04 AM
GUEST,Souter 19 Aug 02 - 11:33 AM
GUEST,Glen Reid 19 Aug 02 - 02:24 PM
Irish sergeant 19 Aug 02 - 04:51 PM
Peter K (Fionn) 19 Aug 02 - 07:52 PM
InOBU 20 Aug 02 - 11:34 AM
Kim C 20 Aug 02 - 11:50 AM
Francy 20 Aug 02 - 01:15 PM
Grab 20 Aug 02 - 01:58 PM
Fibula Mattock 20 Aug 02 - 02:02 PM
Bernard 20 Aug 02 - 02:04 PM
Jim Dixon 20 Aug 02 - 02:39 PM
chip a 20 Aug 02 - 02:56 PM
GUEST,Roger in Baltimore (posting from the library 20 Aug 02 - 03:21 PM
EBarnacle1 20 Aug 02 - 04:03 PM
GUEST 20 Aug 02 - 05:11 PM
Peter K (Fionn) 20 Aug 02 - 05:34 PM
Liz the Squeak 20 Aug 02 - 05:42 PM
GUEST 20 Aug 02 - 06:46 PM
GUEST 21 Aug 02 - 08:17 AM
kendall 21 Aug 02 - 08:26 AM
harpgirl 21 Aug 02 - 10:59 AM
SharonA 21 Aug 02 - 11:24 AM
chip a 21 Aug 02 - 11:43 AM
SharonA 21 Aug 02 - 11:44 AM
chip a 22 Aug 02 - 12:13 PM
GUEST,Dean Martin 22 Aug 02 - 05:53 PM
EBarnacle1 23 Aug 02 - 11:12 AM

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Subject: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 05:44 PM

I am an alchoholic.

There's little doubt about the fact. Under any measure you might wish to suggest, I'd pretty much meet the profile.

Unfortunately, I have a big problem admitting it to myself.

Just now, I had an honest chat with my girlfriend about the situation and she was horrified when I told her how much I drank.

She suspected, sure, but I've been kinda sneaky (if lying is sneaky). I'm totally ashamed of myself. This minute, there's a bottle of wine downstairs. We bought it to drink together, but right now I 'need' it, and am on the brink of opening it, drinking it all and trying to make up some transparent excuse as to why it isn't there tomorrow (I don't have money to replace it) But who cares about tomorrow? I NEED it now.

This is horrible!

One problem is that I'll wake up again tomorrow, wish I hadn't posted this and think, 'it's OK' everything will be fine

If you understand me, any ideas. No 'rock bottom' AA crap please.

And NO crappy 'good lucks' from people who don't understand. Indeed NO messages from people without experience appreciated.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 06:10 PM

This isn't rock bottom?

Two suggestions:

1) Make a choice.

2) Live with it.

Good luck.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 06:36 PM

You don't have to hit rock bottom. I have no doubt that if I drank I would be alcoholic because I have pretty bad hypoglycemia and it is related, if not basically the same thing. Consider yourself hypoglycemic and eat a good fatty piece of meat right now if you still have the urge to drink. Don't try at this time to be a vegetarian. Read Dr Schwarzbein's Principal and Dr. Bernstein's diabetic solution. Read up on vitamin supplements for alcholics and hypoglycemics. I think B vitamins are recommended. Eat protein and green vegetables and good fats at every meal. Eat some saturated fats. Also eat olive oil and some nut oils. Check out flaxseed oil..it is a bit controversial. Eat fish, lots of it. Eat 5 or 6 meals a day. Eat no processed carbohydrates. Beans, lentils, oatmeal should be OK. If you can get to a naturopathic doctor, go. If not, search the internet for guidance, some of which will be good and some bad. Go to AA meetings whether you believe in them or not and don't drink the coffee or eat the donuts.

mg


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 06:40 PM

Two words: Get Help.

Alchoholism is a disease, and a deadly one at that. Would anyone who knows he has cancer not seek help from a doctor? Of course not. Then why should anyone who knows he has the disease of alcoholism not seek help?

It sounds like you probably wouldn't have the money to do the rehab routine, and that pretty much leaves one option. You say"No 'rock bottom' AA crap please.", but, believe me, AA does work if you sincerely want it to. Don't delude yourself that everybody at AA meetings is an old down-and-outer who slept under a bridge last night. Whether you are aware of it or not, you know some people who are in AA, they just don't talk about it much to non-AAers.

Get out the phone book. Call AA and find out where a meeting is being held tonight, not tomorrow, and just go to it. Just forget all the preconceptions you have about what AA is and give it a chance. If you don't like it, what will you lose? An hour's drinking time?

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 06:44 PM

I know what you mean. I like drink, I always make sure there's plenty in the house. I panic if it looks like I might run out. Don't know if you're in the USA or UK, but will go to the store/ off licence, if I'm running low and buy more, even though I might not drink it all. The only way to do it , is to make sure you have some booze available..just in case! Then go to bed with a good book, a big glass of water and sweat out the sleepless night/nights. I've done it loadsa times..and without the help of AA..etc. I've lasted 3 months before falling off the 'wagon'..and boy does that first drink taste great!!! And the roller coaster starts all over again.............. Or..(and I dont know your views on cannabis)..you could try having a spliff.But that might be replacing one 'drug' with another....it's worked for me in the past..and I'm not that keen on cannabis. Did get a good nights sleep though. Hope you can sort things out for yourself. And I might have made a little bit of sense ??


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 07:07 PM

Join the club.

At least you recognise that you have a problem, that is the first step. No-one can help themselves if they don't at least recognise the problem.

The next step is to get professional help before you make yourself seriously ill.

I had your problem when I was 15. School was sort of interesting.

Take care, it can be sorted with help, and with the right sort of help it need never be a problem again.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 08:52 PM

Antabuse or AA, or both. No other choices, GUEST. Sorry. AA is not necessarially for "rock bottom" folks, as you'll find out when you attend. You'll have a sponser, who like you, is recovering. Recovery can begin right now and from what you've posted is what you know you need. So get to it. Yep, a couple of phone calls and you're on you're way. And, yes, it is a disease. I know.

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 08:54 PM

I understand you, sorry i have no ideas how to help you, the only bit of advice I feel able to give is this=Try to make sure you eat well, ie plenty of fruit and veg etc, this may seem like silly & irrelevant advice, but a lot of alcoholics have malnutrition, also if you are eating healthily you will soon feel better in general, and hopefully be more able to cope with the drink problem. Also many people drink too much to try to take there minds off other problems, maybe without even realising it, do you have problems at work for example, a job you don't like or other kinds of stress, if you have recently started drinking heavily try to figure out why.best of luck.john


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: X
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 08:55 PM

Is this Guest THE "Guest?"


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 09:11 PM

If this Guest is THE "Guest" and he/she is sincere, what does it matter?

If this Guest is THE "Guest" and he/she is not sincere, then trolling has reached a new bottom.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: X
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 09:25 PM

I agree.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: The Pooka
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 10:15 PM

& What if this Guest is not really a Guest at all, at all?


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: YOR
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 10:16 PM

You have already taken the first step, you posted here. You know there is a problem, great, now do something about it. Reread your own post and then reread Bruces', Boberts', Lizs', Johns' all the posts, ten times each.

Ask you girlfriend for help and strength. Tell her to make you do it. Fight it together.

My oldest brothers' doctor said to him about 8 or 10 years ago. "Stop drinking right now or you are going to die." He runs marathons now!

Live man!, heal and Live.

Roy


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: pattyClink
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 10:41 PM

You have a lot of pre-conditions on what you'll listen to, but I'll try. Is having watched someone you love die a horrible death qualification enough? If not, I also have a best bud who came close to checking out, got with the program, and has lived a way better life apres alcohol, 9 years and getting better all the time. I've had a front row seat to see what works and what doesn't.

Kidding yourself doesn't work. Staying screwed up while your judgment gradually slips away, being replaced by the judgment in the chemicals in your brain, doesn't work.

I've been to one AA meeting as a guest. Most straight-forward, no b.s. people I ever saw in my life, and they (with no sentimentality) cared about helping each other get off the slippery slope and move on. Get your butt to one and just tell them you think you might have a problem. If by some bizzarre chance the group doesn't 'click' with you (not your age demographic, etc.) don't sweat it, look up another one.

And in your favor, is the fact you're looking around for help from other human beings. That is one of the main things you have to do to get it together, so you got that going for ya. Go for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,D
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 10:55 PM

Hey, you know, i had a similar situation in life. i realized that it had so much to do with unresolved issues in my life around a million things. for me, it was family stuff. i was trying so desparately not to feel, to numb out. it wasn't the drinking that was the problem, that was merely a symptom of a much bigger pattern. it cost me my family, and i had no idea what the hell i was doing. my now ex-wife's uncle steered me to the Hoffman Institute, and this program called the "Quadrinity Process." Now, i am so not into the "New Agey" diatribe, and i don't like "group sharing" BS, but that 8 day workshop kicked my ass. it changed my life like you, and i, couldn't have imagined. it is a personal thing, and you don't have to buy into any kind of life long idealism. it was just about breaking down a lot of my life held patterns of dealing with things to what they were really about, analizing them, and then reconstructing everything in a healthy way. it is a couple thousand bucks for the whole thing, and i understand that you don't have any money, but i didn't either, as i was kicked out of my house by my ex (we're working on a friendship now) and living in my car, and they helped me out with a scholarship, and what they couldn't cover, they gave me low monthly payments. that opportunity to hit a reset button on my life was probably cheaper and more effective than 10 years of therapy. now, i consider myself to be a major cynic and a headstrong do-it-yourself musician type who has had some major success (some of you have heard my stuff, believe me), and i don't talk about my Hoffman experience much with people, because it is very perasonal, but i stumbled upon your post looking for a song lyric, and i thought i would share. give the Hoffman people a call. they are really, genuinely interested in helping people, and they will answer your questions in a non-convincing, supportive way. they may tell you that it isn't for you even. who knows. call them. good luck. here is the link: http://www.hoffmaninstitute.org/ you know, when it all comes down to it, it's all about self love. i was brought up to think that loving myself was bad or "selfish" or not giving everything i had to the world and to the people around me. i am now practicing loving my "self", and having more to give. ok. enough about me... YOU WILL BE OK! "it's not the truth that is important, really, it is the search for truth" ---somebody said that, and i can't remember who.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,friend of bill w.
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 11:06 PM

there are lots of us here at mudcat. when i needed the help, big mick was there for me. he knows what its all about, send him a pm, he'll be there for you too.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,D
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 11:07 PM

I just wanted to say that i don't have any affiliation with the Hoffman Quadrinity Process or the Hoffman Institute, (see above/previous post). it just changed my life in such a profound way that i thought i would throw it out there as an idea. also, it isn't some kind of rehab deal. the process gives you the tools to work on things for the rest of your life, without having to go to meetings or do any kind of other committment with them. so yeah, ok. rock on.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,CC Rider
Date: 17 Aug 02 - 11:33 PM

Dump this girl-friend - find another, who is a reveler to enjoy the festivals of Dionysious.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: momnopp
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 12:02 AM

Dear Guest,

Thank you for your post. It is a bold thing to stand up and say, "I'm human, I'm hurting, I need other people, will you please help me?" You may never know the full ramifications of your opening the floor to discussion. Someone reading the thread may decide that, based on YOUR bravery, s/he can also stand up and ask for help.

There have been many people in my life who suffer from mental illness, but I am only just beginning to learn about alcoholism in a close, personal relationship.

AA is a fellowship and different groups have very different "personalities", from what I understand. In the area where I live, there are smoking and non-smoking meetings, meetings in English, in Spanish, for gays, lesbians, "dual diagnosis" (mental illness PLUS alcoholism) people; morning, noon and night every day of the week.

From what I'm seeing, success with the program (any program) is about feeling that YOU are worthwhile. The love has to start from the inside; you've got to begin to believe that you are valuable and worth the effort. And then begin to rebuild.

Keep up the courageous work and remember to be gentle with yourself.

Peace,

JudyO


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Guest, another friend of Bill W.
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 12:10 AM

Admitting you have this desease is indeed the first step.

AA doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for me. (hence the anonymous post.) Took a long time too. Lots of meetings where I couldn't stand what I heard. WAAAYYY too many born again Christian types. Way too many whose stories I couldn't relate to. Finally I realized that I better take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth, cuz I was sick of drinking and drugging, and what I was doing wasn't working. I stopped looking for all the ways I was different from those other bums (I nearly died from terminal uniqueness) One night I heard some one say that a high bottom drunk is one who wears their ass on top of their shoulders and recognized myself. I had admitted I was an alcoholic, but because I hadn't committed a felony, lost a job or a family or slept in a flop house I took awhile to recognize that my life had become unmanageable. Been sober 17 years now. Those 12 steps are a good plan for trying to live effectively on this earth for anyone. They were not invented with AA.

If you can afford treatment, get it. If not--you need alot of support and AA is the only place I know where you can get it for the price of admitting you are an alcoholic.

Now, believe it or not, I am not one of those people who think AA is the only way. It's just the most accessible way for most people. The ingredients for continued sobriety are not drinking, no matter what, and learning healthy skills for living life on life's terms. It takes decision, support, teachers and commitment. You have to make the decision and find the commitment to yourself within yourself. You are much more likely to be successful in sticking with your decision and maintaining your commitment with support. The psychological reasons or physical suceptibility behind your addiction are inmaterial to recovery. Whether you never had the effective living skills, or lost them during your years of reliance on alcohol, you have to acquire them now. You need teachers and support to do that. If you are a heavy drinker and are at risk for withdrawal or DT's don't stop abruptly without medical supervision.

I'm glad you posted. You have begun the journey.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Jimmy C
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 01:24 AM

Please get help soon. This is a disease and a sneaky one at that. I have known a person who was an alcoholic before he even had his first drink. The very firt drink and he was hooked, honestly. No one knows for sure what affect alcohol will have on them. It is nothing to be ashamed of, it is a disease like many others. You are on the right road by recognising this affliction, now please go and do something about it. Sincere best wishes.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Mudlark
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 02:15 AM

Just want to add my 2cents worth of support. AA, like any other support group, is only as good as the people who attend. If the first one you try puts you off, try another. There are other AA type groups as well, like Children of Alcoholic parents, Abused Kids, etc. All can be helpful if individual psychological help is out of the question. Nobody is an alcoholic for the fun of it.

If there is an emotional need to stuff pain and/or anger, anybody can become an alcoholic. While weaning yourself from alcohol, work at finding out why you needed it in the first place. My own experience is that both are necessary for success.

thanks for posting...it takes courage and a display of courage is always a good morale boost for the rest of the troops!


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 08:00 AM

If you are a binge drinker, look for the pattern - is it always on a Friday night? Find a club or some activity that happens on a Friday and do something different. Is it at a particular time of year? Could be it's related to Seasonal Affective Disorder (my depression is linked to but not caused by SAD, I just find Feb, Mar and Apr very difficult months), and a change in lifestyle can help - getting up earlier to enjoy a full day's light. Always look for links and patterns. Then you know what to avoid or change for the future.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 09:59 AM

"I am an alchoholic"

Are ya? I'll drink to that...

I'm reminded of a line that Sean Conery's character had in The Last Crusade...

"What the hell, ya gotta die of something."

I don't trust a person who doesn't drink...

Cause if ya don't drink when yer alive, how the hell ya gonna start when yer dead?


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 10:39 AM

I had an alcoholic pal who came close to death's door in 1962. Then his wife visited him in hospital as he approached the end of rehab. Anticipating his return home, she said: "How long will it be before you can have a drink dear?"

He kicked the habit there and then, to spite her (also got a divorce), and got another 28 years of life as a bonus. He was always saying "one drink's too many, and one drink is never enough."

He was fanatical about refusing that one drink, knowing it would be the he'd have in any sort of worthwhile life. He sent back a dessert at the Connaught Hotel when he discovered it had sherry in it. His view was that if he ever knowingly had alcohol again, in whatever trivial amount, he'd be back to square one - but this time knowing he couldn't face the cold turkey again.

He was lucky to be taken under the wing of a doctor who had got himself off the booze and was keen to help others. This meant not only effective medical advice, but also getting into a circle of others whom the doctor was helping.

If not AA, try to find some other interest group. Search the net. As with most things, it will help to be in touch with people who have had the same problems. And be inspired by people like Liz, who I think is courageous in signing her name to her experience of a difficult episode. (If you are not a member already, think about signing up, if only so you could then contact Liz direct by personal message!)


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 12:41 PM

Oo, blush..... I wouldn't say brave.....

I was very *very* lucky. My problem was when I was young enough (15-16) to have not discovered (or been denied access to) hard spirits and I was able to mostly recover from it. I spent several years dry, and despite the tone of some other postings haven't allowed myself to get to falling down drunk for several years. Half the battle is knowing when you've had enough. The other half of the battle is getting moronic so called "friends" who still insist on feeding you alcohol when it's bloody obvious to everyone but them that you've had enough. I found that the problem wasn't with me not being able to say no, but with them not being able to take it as an answer. I got new friends, some of whom have been around now for years longer than the original lot.

I was helped (and hindered) by my ability to remember what I and others did whilst under the influence..... when you know exactly where and from whom you got the traffic cone then it makes it more embarassing the next time you see them.....

One big struggle is learning to be as fearless sober as when drunk. Saying what you need to say and not using alcohol as a means to saying it takes the real guts and bravery. Saying it to another drunk with violent tendencies is plain suicide, but it has to be done.

I do hope this isn't a spurious thread, because a lot of people here have bared rather more than if they were sitting face to face. If it is, then I just feel sorry for the sad person who started it, for their own personal gratification. If it isn't, then hopefully they will forgive me for being a cynical old moo. Regardless of that, I hope that if someone out there is having the struggle, that this thread, however generated, is of some help. Sometimes just knowing that there are others around, helps. Isolation is the worst thing to overcome, when your only companion is the Tequila worm. So I hope we've helped someone.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 02:41 PM

Thank you Liz.

I started the thread and hope that you respect my reasons for doing so anonymously.

Thanks for your input, everyone.

I apologise for putting 'conditions' on replies, I was tired, drunk and upset when I started the thread.

Thanks again for all your thoughts.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 02:55 PM

So how you doing now? Is the girlfriend being supportive or has she backed off? Many people can't cope, and it's not their fault... some recognise their own falibility in others and some refuse to see it... a very dear friend is in recovery, lived with a woman who wasn't and couldn't see that it was the drink turning her into a psychopath. Her liver started to react and finally she stopped drinking. Regretably it was too late to save their relationship and his bathroom door (she trashed it with a stilleto heel) but saved her life. It was also too late for her to break the behaviour pattern. So now she's a sober psychopath and still screws him for everything she can get from him with emotional blackmail.

Hope it's going better.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Morticia
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 03:03 PM

Does being married to an alcoholic count as experience? Does the fact that he died through alochol when he was 42,leaving me and his children completely devastated make you pause, even for second?If you are thinking that won't happen to me, you are wrong but I know enough about it to know that not one thing people say here will make a difference to you.The only person who can help you, is you.Please don't put your family through what I have been through.....get help.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: open mike
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 05:04 PM

I am proud of you for having the guts to "stand up" and testify and the bravery to spill out your situation here.. shame on those who replied with a flippant "i'll drink to that" or "dump the friend and go and drink" attitude...(remember this was the plan--to dring that bottle of wine together) -I hope that GUEST can find a way to solve this- some of the comments made were not the supportive responses this post should have generated... you could have offered so much more help in your messages...this is not what was called for here... takd a deep breath, guest, and be strong in your choices...remember, we can not control what happens to us, but we do have the choice to decide how we will react to it.... the Serenity Prayer has a lot to say to us all: The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. ...substitute, Great Spirit, "Higher Power" or other term which symbolizes to the Energy which causes all life to be alive....if you cannot relate to the image of god, God, or have difficulty with that concept.. your journey is a unique and personal one...thank you for sharing here, and bon voyage....on your quest...


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: kendall
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 05:38 PM

My father was drunk all the time. One day, he stepped in front of a car and was dragged 200 feet. After that, he was useless, but, he still had his addiction to tobacco, and that's what finally killed him.(emphysema) My older brother is a practising alcoholic; he lives in a camper van, travels from Maine to Alabama depending on the weather. The thing he wants most is the thing he needs least, a drinking buddy, so, he goes from one witless scagg to another. They both made a choice. THEY made the choice.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: wilco
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 07:33 PM

Hey Guest, you can manage this situation. First item is to quit drinking, and that's where the support network of AA comes in. Get chemical-free for a period of time. Also, if you need detox, call AA. They will find a way to get you dried-out, regardless of your resources or insurance. I've worked with drug dependants for thirty years, and I have seen thousands of long-term successes. The absolute key is to quit drinking, and get in a support network. Find a sponsor who "works" for you. Also, try different meetings, since every one of them will have a little different character and personality (like bands or festivals or jams). Try a new one everyday for a few weeks. Everyday, tens of millions of people manage their recovery with AA principles. You can too. God Bless!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Aug 02 - 08:04 PM

Thanks Wilco,

I need to drum this into my head so please excuse my repeating you:

The
absolute key
is to
quit drinking


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: momnopp
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 12:38 AM

I, for one, am totally thrilled at the general level of maturity in these responses. There have only been the two truly goofy comments, already referred to above by open mike. This is what I love about Mudcat. I can be away for months and months and months and come back one day to find the extraordinarily beautiful, caring, compassionate bunch of humanity right here at my fingertips.

Guest, I continue to applaud your willingness to share your journey with us and to take the journey in the first place.

Peace,

JudyO


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 02:38 AM

Guess that makes MUDCAT your sponsor when you join up with the programme then!! 24/7 support from people who've been there with you!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: fogie
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 06:10 AM

my experience teaches me simply not to have my ex-favourite tipple in house, as once I have one I want another. I now try to go out if I want a drink, and do something socially pleasant alongside, I also try not to mix drinks. It may not be a full answer, but it helps a lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Troll
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 06:21 AM

You CAN stop. AA is not for everyone but it has worked for an awful lot of people and even if it doesn't work for you, it's still the best game in town and your best bet.
That said, it didn't work for me for reasons that I won't go into because they pertain to MY situation. I WAS able to quit and going it alone was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had the love and support of a wonderful woman and that made the difference.
I wish that AA had contained my answer, but it did not. This is in no way to be construed as a put-down of AA. They do wonderful work and have saved many lives, both in a figurative and literal sense. It is simply that in my case, AA was not the answer. It may well be yours though.
You've admitted that you have a problem and thats the first step.
Now take the next step and go for it.
As far as those persons who felt compelled to make "humorous" posts, Maybe you should examine the motives that led you to make light of someones plea for help.
Maybe you have a problem too.

troll

BTW, I've been dry now for over 20 years. And I haven't had a drink today.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 07:05 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Mr Happy
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 07:24 AM

i came close to being an 'alky' when i was aged around 23-26. while at work, i'd go to the pub every lunchtime & drink a lot of beer. each morning around 10.30 i'd start to get the craving- a horrible sensation- and have to quickly stop whatever job i was doing and find the nearest pub. my bosses and colleagues obviously noticed my weakness, although no one ever said it was affecting the quality of my work. i also drank a lot in the evenings too-being somewhat of a loner at that time.

anyway,i honestly think i was saved by folk! i got into a circle of good friends- a lifestyle change- and did lots of interesting/stimulating activities-and even though i still drank beer it wasn't OTT any more & i wasn't controlled by it-instead i was in control.

i still drink a lot of whisky but theres no craving involved. i never drink during the day except at folk festivals/sessions & very importantly never drink & drive.

last few really excellent do's i've been at when it was my turn to drive, i've had a spectacular day/evening drinking bitter shandy[0.05% alcohol]

guest, hope you get yourself helped/help yourself!


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Pied Piper
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 07:27 AM

As some one who regularly consumes more than his recommended units of alcohol, and is trying to cut down. Can I suggest that you read a book on health Psychology; there are problems with the disease model for alcohol addiction, and being aware of some of the other views might be of help. The important bit you've already done by accepting that your drinking is a problem for you. Good luck and remember there is more than one way to skin a Cat. All the best PP


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: RichM
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 07:39 AM

So you are an alcoholic.

Great! You admit it. A big BIG first step.
No AA crap? What, you can suddenly change your life around by yourself? You'll need much more than "good luck".
And I'm one of those people "without experience": I have never been an alcoholic.
But my father was. It affected the family. It affected me.
My brother is an alcoholic. His family is dysfunctional.
Let me tell you what's in store for you: 30 or 40 years of increasing ill health for you.
The same amount of time in misery--for you and those that love you, until they find they can't help you, and have to leave you, for their own sanity.

It's up to you. But you have do something soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 07:52 AM

Skipping past all the messages, so if it has already been said, my apologies. There ARE programs besides AA to help you quit drinking, with similar success rates. Pity I don't have the names handy. They use different tactics, so if AA doesn't work for you, another group might. Please get help, all I can say.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: InOBU
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 08:11 AM

Hey pal... I can't tell you about the adiction, as I never was addicted. But, as a very happy drinker, for lots of years, I found I had a food alergy syndrom comon among Celts, and even small amounts of alcohol could kill me. So, I had to find a way to replace the glass of wine with diner or the beer with music. It was a real struggle, not because I was tempted, but because of the fact that wine really fits diner and there is a lot of social pressure to be one of the lads about beer. Well, it is a matter of finding a good replacement. On the diner front, find good alternatives that are interesting enough to suffice, and the act of mixing them involves you in the way choosing a wine does, like Cranberry and Soda - good with diner in a wine glass. As to beer with music, find a good line, "I've had my share, so its your turn lads..." is a good line as you buy a round with a soda for yourself.
Just remember, you are much stronger than the pressure or the drink. Cheers, Larry


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: mack/misophist
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 10:04 AM

This is not the place for an alcoholic to seek help. A meat person might or might not be able to help you. We ephemerals are nothing but noise in your environment. Get real.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 11:33 AM

While I agree that this is not the best place to get help, there is no harm in asking. Please do not be so harsh!


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Glen Reid
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 02:24 PM

I am an alcaholic!

However I have been sober for 15 years. the first two years of my sobriety was quitting cold turkey and without AA. The past 13 years have been with the help of AA and I got to be honest with you. Its a hell of a lot easier with that "AA crap" the originator of this thread called it.

Anonymity is the corner stone of the program and for good reason. However I freely give up my anonymity. after all I didnt care what people thought of me when I was puking and staggering down the main street and crawling in the gutters of my home town.

Why would I care if they know I go to AA. I have had a couple of occasions where someone has said to me "If an asshole like you can quit, then so can I"

I drank to the point of losing it all, my wife and child, my family and friends, my money and my career and damn near my life. But the worst part of all was when I lost my self esteem.

The alcaholic elevator will take you down, but you can get off at any floor you want, you dont have to ride it all the way to the bottom.

The only requirment for AA, is "a willingness to stop drinking". Forget about tommorow "just quit for today".

I have been lucky in my sobriety, that with the love and support of friends and family, I have got back most of what I lost and it just gets better with time.

I wouldnt trade one hundred of my very best days drinking for even one of my worst days sober!

I read somewhere that "all alcaholics go to heaven, cause they have already been through hell, here on earth"

All the best. Glen


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 04:51 PM

At the risk of sounding off about "AA Crap", That crap kept me totally sober for five years. Had I kept going I would prbably still be stone sober. I, drink now on rare occasions and never binging like I used to. I needed the AA crap to get back on track where I could assume control again. The first step is admitting you have a problem and I think you have adequately covered that. The next is to tell yourself "I will not drink today" and stick to that. Quitting fior ever is a big thing and hard. Not drinking today is cake That is how I quit smoking and I have not had a cigarette in nine years. If a day is too much, say a half-day. You can do this and there are people and organizations that can help. You just took the hardest step. Kindest regards, neil


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 19 Aug 02 - 07:52 PM

Bravo, Glen. Another stirring post in a stirring thread. Guest, it might be a useful discipline to report back in this thread every week or so, to say how things are going. It might act as an incentive to keep on fighting, and some of us would be intrested to hear how things go.

If that crud Clinton Hammond ever looked in this thread again he would be ashamed of his infantile contribution, now lodged there for posterity, except that he is no doubt too wrapped up in self satisfaction to entertain such negative waves.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: InOBU
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 11:34 AM

Hi FIonn:
Don't jump on Clinton, for many folks, it is funny, cause they haven't been dragged out of bed by a dad with a drinking problem, who tossed them around the room out of anger over his own problems (the ballence to the joys of an Irish childhood, eh?) But we who have been there, know that the last thing a drinker needs is peer pressure to take the sure I am a fuckup arent we all fuck ups attitudes of those who like our Brother Clinton want company while they drink. I am sure Clinton, like I was, is a responcible drinker. But some, like me dad, where not, and some like me, have health problems which necessite harking to our health in one respect or another. Don't be like the eejit who blows his ciggy smoke in the face of an asthmatic, just to be a card, eh? Now, Clinton, cut the fellow some slack. I am sure his attitude is like mine, pat you on the back and say, Cheers mate, have one on me and make mine a soda... but, fact is, what do you get from tempting someone else, unless it is the fox who lost his tail in a trap trying to get the other foxes to cut theirs off. Not saying that is it, Clinton old chum... but cut the guest some slack, it is hard enough, adicted or not, to mind your health.
Cheers, Larry


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Kim C
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 11:50 AM

This may not be the place to get help... but getting support can go a really long way. And admitting there's a problem is a huge relief in and of itself.

They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Take it, and don't be afraid to get help.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Francy
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 01:15 PM

Sorry it took me so long to reply... I have been clean and sober for over 19 years.....I didn't accomplish this on my own.....I am, indeed a friend of Bill W. And AA is definitely the foundation of my sobriety.....Frank of Toledo


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Grab
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 01:58 PM

Half the problem is availability, since every supermarket has an aisle full of the stuff.

A neat tip if you're in Britain. Stick to late-night shopping in the supermarkets. They can't sell booze after 10pm IIRC, so that stops you dead. This of course assumes you aren't so deeply bitten that you'll just be going to the off-license instead. If it's a problem of drink always being available, making it hard to buy it (requiring a special trip to get it) will at least start to break the habit of always having it around.

Graham.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 02:02 PM

There is alcoholism in my family; one family member has already died of it, and I'm sure drink was a conributing factor in another. Another one gave up altogther for a while.

I like a drink - I haven't been put off it by what I've seen - but I hope I'd never get to the state that other members of my family have. It's a painful thing to see people you love ruin their life through something so socially acceptable and so readily available as drink. There are scenes I've witnessed that have disturbed me and pained me, and situations that sadden me through their sheer alcohol-induced, pathetic stupidity.

I'm lucky; I don't think I've inherited the tendency. Whether it's genetic or environmental, I do think it can run in families, and I've seen it happen in mine.

Good luck, guest, and I hope you come through this, because the pain of those around you is not because they are suffering from your drinking, but because you are suffering, and that's the hardest thing to bear.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Bernard
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 02:04 PM

I'm not an alcoholic, and never have been. But I am a Manic Depressive, and there are some similarities.

Basically, as everyone else is saying, GET HELP!!

It would be sad if you pushed your best friend too far and ended up losing her... I did... Too late now...

You can't beat it on your own - in my case, I can't beat it so I have to live with it.

Good, 'safe' friends are all important. Non-judgmental people who accept you as you are, and help if they can.

The people who couldn't help me were those who 'took the hump' if I (apparently) ignored their 'advice'.

The words I really hate are:
'You've got to help yourself' - well, you can't, can you?!.
'Do it for yourself, not anyone else' - don't particularly want to, thanks very much...

Hope someone gets to you before it's too late, chum.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 02:39 PM

Experience? I'm not an alcoholic but I have talked to lots of people who are. I learned a lot when I was a volunteer counselor at a nonprofit mental health organization. I feel I have a lot in common with alcoholics because of other kinds of problems (mainly depression) I've faced in my life. Here's my perspective.

Learn to ask for help from people who have been there, done that. That's what AA is for. Shame is a big obstacle; it stops you from getting help. The feeling "I can do this myself" or "I ought to do this myself" is wishful thinking that gets its power from shame. If you can put aside shame long enough to get some help, you will be better off for it.

Even if you ask, you might not get the kind of help you need right away. You might need to keep asking.

You might not understand AA jargon at first, but it will make more and more sense to you the further along you get in your recovery. Have patience with other people's inability to explain everything all at once. They will need to have patience with you, too.

There may be other programs that work as well as AA, but I'm not familiar with them. I know AA has worked for a lot of people.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: chip a
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 02:56 PM

Hi Guest,

Not an alchoholic but I shot heroin for years and I know where you are. I've been clean for a long time now. Listen, buddy, I took a girlfriend to A.A. and I'm with these other guys. Go! Take your girlfriend or a buddy or go by yourself, but go. I used to say it's like falling in a deep hole and breaking both legs. I see where I am and I wish I was out of the hole but I CAN'T climb out with two broken legs! Anybody tells you to "get hold of yourself" or anything like that, you just tell them to take a flying shit for themselves. Go to A.A. Those guys have ways of getting a rope around you and pulling you up. And they really do care about you. If you've been to a meeting(s) and got a bad dose, go to another one. STOP DRINKING FOR THIS HOUR! Throw it away and get it out of the house. If that makes you panic and you respond to all panic with a drink, then keep the damn stuff in the house for now. BUT DON'T DRINK IT! And I don't care how much of a drunk you are, there's people that love you. Go to A.A. You don't have to make a committment, just go.

Chip


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Roger in Baltimore (posting from the library
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 03:21 PM

Dear Guest,

I don't get on the Mudcat often, so I'll consider it fortuitous that I found your posting. Trust me, I know quite a bit about alcoholism.

If you decide you want to stop drinking, there are many ways to do it. There is no one way and steer clear of those who say there is only one way. Most people who stop drinking, do so on their own, without AA and without treatment. If you've tried that several times before, without success, then you probably should try something else.

Some people use AA only. Some people use treatment only. I would suggest that a combination of treatment and AA maxmizes your chances of success. If you aren't successful the first time, try again. The more often you try, the greater your chances of success become.

Sometimes the hardest part is deciding that drinking is a problem for you. If you don't think you have a problem, you aren't likely to do the hard work to stop. Personally, I trust my doctor and the literature I've read that my high blood pressure (which I don't feel) is a problem, so I take my medicine daily.

You might consider taking pencil to paper and drawing four quadrants on the paper. In the first quadrant, put all the good things that come from your drinking. Some of these have been posted above by others. Believe me, if there weren't some good things, you probably wouldn't be drinking at all. In the second, write down all the reasons you are less happy about your drinking. In the third quadrant, put in all the bad things you think will happen if you stop drinking And finally, in the fourth quadrant, put in all the good things you think could happen if you stopped drinking. If you do this honestly, it will give you some idea of what keeps you drinking and what keeps you avoiding stopping.

There are many places to look for additional reasons to stop. You can go to your physician and tell him or her that you are concerned about your drinking. Ask him or her to assess what impact drinking is having on your health. A good physician can review your medical history and take some blood tests and give you some concrete information about alcohol's effect on YOU.

Ask some close friends whom you trust what impact they think drinking has on your life. Listen to those pros and cons.

In the US there are many free or cheap treatment services available and you can ask them for an assessment. Unfortunately, they may be biased, so ask them for a written report with their justifications.

If you join the Mudcat, you can the send Personal Messages (similar to e-mail) to others. Feel free to PM me with any questions you may have. You can also PM many of those who posted above.

Roger in Baltimore


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 04:03 PM

Congratulations. You have made a major step. Now get help.

First, though, thank your friend. She seems to have made it clear she wants you around and wants you to get help. Next, don't quit drinking--stop drinking.

One of the things I learned when I was working with addicts is the concept of 'locus of control.' If you can learn to decide for yourself that "I choose not to do this thing which will harm me right now," you will be well on your way to getting better. Every drink is a choice and, unfortunately, the more you take, the easier it is to drink too much.

As has been mentioned, for many people, one drink is too many. If you are one of those, you should also see an allergist as you may have sensitivities you are not aware of.

Even with all of these considerations, you should get help. It is easier to change any behavior with help than it is to struggle alone.

As Spider Robinson's Callahan puts it: "Pain shared is lessened. Joy shared is multiplied."


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 05:11 PM

Thanks everyone,

i'm still reading and thinking


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Peter K (Fionn)
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 05:34 PM

I hear you Larry.

Bernard, the one major difference between manic depression and alcoholism is that there are now some very effective treatments around for MD - at least, treatments that are very effective for many. (But like the man said, you've got to keep taking the tablets!)


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 05:42 PM

There are treatments like that around for alcoholism, antabuse, but again, you have to keep taking them. The way they work is remaining 'inert' until an alcoholic drink hits them and then, boy do you get sick! The same sort of medicine is in some ulcer medicine. One glass of wine that ordinarily wouldn't affect a fly, on top of the antabuse medication will give you the mother, father and omplete family tree of angovers and you really WILL want to die. After that the reckoning is that you won't want to feel that bad again. Sooner or later you get out of the habit of drinking.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Aug 02 - 06:46 PM

Antabuse medication - has serious problems associated with it.

It uses a pancreus stimulent (used in the treatment of typeII diabetis) diabanese to create it violent reaction to alcohol.

It is a case where the treatment may be worse than the disease.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 08:17 AM

We're all alcoholics...some of us just haven't drunk enough booze yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: kendall
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 08:26 AM

When you say "None of that AA crap" that indicates to me that you don't really want to quit enough to work at it, and, as long as you insist on keeping some source of help out of the picture, you will not quit.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: harpgirl
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 10:59 AM

I agree with Kendall.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:24 AM

I interpreted the "None of that AA crap" phrase quite differently. When I finally decided to quit my heavy-drinking/falling-down/blacking-out habit, I felt exactly the same way: I wanted nothing to do with AA. I just stopped cold turkey after the boyfriend I had at the time, a chronic drinker, bruised me during physical violence for the first and last time. But I knew for several years before that episode that I had a problem and that I "should" quit, as I tried modifying my drinking habit in several different ways that turned out to be cop-outs. I was fooling myself into thinking that drinking less on any given day meant that I had less of a problem.

So bravo to you, GUEST "alchoholic", for realizing that, indeed, the absolute key is to quit drinking for good and all. Whoever can help you keep your resolve to quit, be it AA or another organization or nothing more organized than a network of supportive friends such as I had, seek them out and let them help you. I think that's the hardest part: letting someone else help you!

Here's a thought: take that wine bottle you mentioned, pour the wine down the drain, rinse and dry the bottle, and then fill it with rolled-up pieces of paper on which you've written various activities you can do on the spur of the moment. When you feel an urge to go for a bottle of booze, go to that bottle instead and "pour" out one of those papers, then go and do whatever it says! (I know; the hard part is pouring the wine down the drain, but it's a small waste compared to what you'd be wasting by drinking it!)

All the best to you. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

Sharon


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: chip a
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:43 AM

Hey,

It's another day. How you doin'? People care about you.......really! I just want you to know I'm sitting in Georgia thinking about you RIGHT NOW. Now here's some homework for you. Go into the bathroom, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. keep doing it. You're a valuable person. Sit down and WRITE a list of things you like about yourself. Don't just think it, write it and keep the list with you. Nobody else has to see it.

And don't curse yourself if you drop the ball. Just pick it back up and move ahead.

Chip


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 11:44 AM

Hmmm... the 3rd paragraph disappeared from my last post. I'll try to recreate it:

One of the best pieces of advice I received from a supportive friend (also an ex-drinker) when I was quitting is this: Find something in your life that you're passionate about and fill your life with it (for me, it was music!). Leave no room in your daily schedule for the boredom and dissatisfaction that leads to that first drink. Schedule your time and make plans to attend many enjoyable activities that don't involve drinking as part of the social interaction, so you are always in the mindset of being "on your way somewhere." For instance, instead of planning to share that bottle of wine with your lady friend, plan to share a special dinner or a special concert or a special evening of wild passion!

...That's where the activities-in-the-bottle suggestion came in!


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: chip a
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 12:13 PM

Are you out there? How you doing?

Chip


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: GUEST,Dean Martin
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 05:53 PM

I feel sorry for people who don't drink...when they get up each morning that's the best they are going to feel all day. Dino

Drinking Problem Solver

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION REQUIRED: Find someone who will buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, and the front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION REQUIRED: Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror. Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION REQUIRED: Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION REQUIRED: Go stand next to nearest dog. After a while complain to the owner about its lack of house training and demand a beer as compensation.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION REQUIRED: Find someone who will buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor swaying.
FAULT: Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey game in progress.
ACTION REQUIRED: Insert broom handle down back of jacket.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION REQUIRED: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. If not, complain loudly that you are being kidnapped.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with ceiling tiles and florescent light strip across it.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION REQUIRED: If your glass is full and no one is standing on your drinking arm, stay put. If not, get someone to help you get up, lash yourself to bar.

SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dim, mouth full of cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION REQUIRED: See above.

SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dark.
FAULT: The Bar is closing.
ACTION REQUIRED: Panic.

SYMPTOM: You awaken to find your bed hard, cold and wet. You cannot see your bedroom.
FAULT: You have spent the night in the gutter.
ACTION REQUIRED: Check your watch to see if bars are open yet. If not, treat yourself to a lie-in.


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Subject: RE: BS: I am an alchoholic
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 23 Aug 02 - 11:12 AM

The jerks we shall always have with us.


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Mudcat time: 20 January 3:42 PM EST

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