What are the worst lyric screwups you've

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,s. Burns
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 02:21 PM

I grew up singing...

You've picked a bad time to leave me lucille, 400 children and crop in the field.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,kenny rogers
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 02:19 PM

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 06 Mar 03 - 12:21 AM

Beccy,

For a long time -- until I actually heard a DJ or somebody say the line clearly -- I thought that Joe Cocker was singing "The lift is up where we belong," and it didn't make any sense to me, either. I still think it sounds like that's what he's singing.

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 05 Mar 03 - 07:12 PM

I just realized tonight while perusing another lyric site, that I had totally misheard one of the lines in my favorite adolescent pop song "North to Alaska", sung by Johnny Horton in 1960 or 1961.

The actual line goes

"North to Alaska, go north, the rush is on"

For over forty years I have thought he was singing

"North to Alaska, go north to Russia zone"

I suppose that is the penalty one pays for being attentive in history and geography classes....


Murray

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Beccy
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 05:17 PM

My honey, God Bless him, grew up thinking that "Love lift us up where we belong" was actually, "The Lip goes up where we belong..." and he was quite flabbergasted, at the age of 35, to learn the actual lyrics. He said that he never understood why that nonsense song was so popular.... :-)

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From:
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 05:05 PM

not a song lyric screw-up,but a screww up of almighty proportions.

Trying to explain to my senior history class about a moment in British History when the parliamnet refused to extend voting reform to one class, as this would open the floodgates to all groups demanding the franchise. I decided to use the metaphor of the little dutch boy who, obeying his parents, stems the leak in the sea wall by sticking his finger in the leak.
Unfotunately
1) the present generation of children no longer seem to learn such stories as children.
2) when I was a child, a dyke was a sea wall, nothing else.

So imagine the expression on the senior students faces when I absentmindedly and in all innocence announced,
   "It's just like the little dutch boy who spends all night with his finger up a dyke!"

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:55 AM

'raindrops on noses, .....' [the good life]

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 10:06 PM

I don't know if it's one of my "worst," but the other day I was singing "My Favorite Things" for a retirement home group, and I gaily warbled:

"...Cream colored ponies with blue satin sashes...".

Seemed kinda silly. Then on reflection, I realized that some folks DO dress ponies up in satin sashes (braided into their tails and manes)!

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Marc
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 01:09 PM

And if you break my heart my son
All will be hell when the day is done

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 10:56 AM

Apologies, Genie! You're right, of course. I blame that Bobby Darin.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:39 AM

Steve, IIRC, that last verse goes:
"Mais la vie separe ceux qui s'aiment
Tous doucement, sans faire de bržit,
Et la mer efface sur le sable
Les pas des amants dŽsunis."

(But life separates those who love, very softly, without making any noise, and the sea wipes away from the sand the steps [read: footprints] of separated lovers.)

Sorry about that "who" that I studk into the French line in place of "qui." (I do that sometimes when I'm thinking sort of half in one language and half in another.)

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 03:30 AM

"La mer a effacé les pas des amants désuni", I think, Genie; but you have as much chance of being saved by a freak high tide as you have of the ground opening up to swallow you. (Unless you live in Dudley, of course!)

Steve

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 08:06 PM

In the French (original) version of Autumn Leaves (Les Feuilles Mortes), there are two lines that I screw up every once in a while. One says, "Moi, je t'aimais, toi, tu m'aimait." (I hope I got those "person" endings right.) Occasionally, I slip and sing, "Moi, je m'amais, tois, tu t'amiait." So instead of my words meaning "I loved you and you loved me," what I sing means "I loved me and you loved you." (No wonder "...la vie separe ceux who s'aiment..." -- "life separates lovers"--a line that comes later in the song.!)

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: JedMarum
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 05:31 PM

many years ago, my good friend Fred had asked me to play at his wedding - and Mom-in-law to be asked me to sing "Sunrise/Sunset" from the Fiddler on the Roof play. Fred was not bothered by his lack of height (one of those short guys without the short guy complex) but his Mother-in-law to be was a bit of busy body and I am certain she thought her daughter would look better marrying a taller Fred.

So at the wedding rehearsal I sang, "When did she get to a beauty? When did he grow to be so small?"

We all had a good chuckle - but Mom went through the roof, "Don't you dare sing that tomorrow!" she finger pointed to me emphatically. Of course, I wouldn't have dreamed of it.

;-)

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: PaulBobbyBuzz
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 01:55 PM

My wife says I HAVE to submit this one; while we were singing Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight", I (somewhat under the influence ) wound up singing in the last chorus... "I'm so wonderful..." It cracked her up so much she couldn't finish! She has never let me forget this (I lovingly refer to her as the 'pit bull') and brings it up whenever we're reminiscing about gigs and fun stuff. i was told once by a choir person that if yuou forget the words and are singing in a large group, just mouth the word "watermelon" a few times, and no one will be the wiser (It seems the varitey and placement of the syllables and voinings could be taken for almost any words). Later pbb

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 28 Oct 02 - 03:41 PM

Was Alanis's bear named "Gladly"

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Grab
Date: 28 Oct 02 - 08:09 AM

Never did mention the well-known Alanis Morrisette line:

"It's not fair to remind me of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me..."

Graham.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 28 Oct 02 - 03:37 AM

Mr Happy, it's in the DT , here, here.

Genie

(glad to know I'm not the only one to screw up that line)

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Mr Happy
Date: 28 Oct 02 - 03:25 AM

genie,

'All too often, I sing "Keep your eye upon the throttle and your hands upon the rail."'["Life's Railway To Heaven." ]

this line's familiar to me from another song: 'union miners'

do you have the words to "Life's Railway To Heaven." please.

cheers,

mr h

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 27 Oct 02 - 09:17 PM

A mistake that I commonly make when I let the 'autopilot' take over while singing conjures up an image just as silly as the one I mentioned above. It's in the song "Life's Railway To Heaven." All too often, I sing "Keep your eye upon the throttle and your hands upon the rail."

(And we all know how painful that can be!)

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 27 Oct 02 - 09:14 PM

This afternoon at a jam some friends and I were singing "Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out." One line goes, "When you get back on your feet again,..." and another goes "If I ever get my hands on a dollar again...". My friend Gil started out with the latter and then realized he should be singing the former (at that place in the song), so the line came out
"When I get my hands on my feet again, gonna hang on to it till the eagle grins...".

That was good for a good laugh.

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: SlickerBill
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:06 AM

I heard one about Cher's "Gypsies tramps and Thieves" which started "Gypsies, chimpanzees ..." and ended " And every night the men would come to town, and lay the monkey down." sb

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:57 AM

Way back in the early 70s my then singing-partner Barrie Roberts wrote a sort of Folk-documentary--a story illustrated with songs--about a guy named Hector MacDonald, based on the book "MacDonald of the 42nd" (I think!); about a guy who'd been everywhere and done everything from the Indian Mutiny via the American War of Independence to a sad old age working on the Liverpool Docks. He'd lumberjacked in Canada, and one of the songs was "Foreman Young Monroe", about a young chap who gets killed breaking a log-jam (on the Sabbath). No mistakes here, but on the very last rehearsal the night before the show, I got to the last verse about his mourning sweetheart, whose "greatest wish was to be laid by her lover Young Monroe" and suddenly realised these lines could have another interpretation! We all fell about laughing for ages, and in the end I changed it to "laid with"; but how we avoided disaster on the performance I shall never know.

Steve

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,KingBrilliant
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:33 AM

There is an Indigo Girls song that a guitarist friend will insist on making us sing. The song is called ghost, and the first line is "There's a letter on my desktop that I got out of a drawer", but I cannot for the life of me sing it as anything other than "There's a letter on my doorstep that I got out of a drawer..". This makes no sense at all & so I start to smile. As the song goes on us two singers get more and more desperate to laugh, as the guitarist ploughs on manfully with a disapproving look on his face.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 02:27 AM

Yesterday at a song circle, I was doing Tom Paxton's song "The Bravest," and as a sheer slip of the tongue, changed "...The pipers play 'Amazing Grace' as the coffins come in view," to "...The pipers play amazing grapes as the coffins ... ." Had it been in a real performance, I'd probably have bit my tongue and hoped no one would notice that bit of aphasia, but in this informal setting, I ended up snickering through the last part of this very somber and moving song!

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: dorareever
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 01:42 PM

I was sure that the song whiskey in the jar mentioned "a band of FAT men" that "looked like captain Farrell" and that in the merry ploughboy the IRA was fighting for "the land can have sex and all." ... Changing genre of music,in the Dead Kennedys song "Holiday in Cambodia" where they repeat Pol Pot,Pol Pot like a mantra,I was sure they were saying: "fat an' old,fat an' old."

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Orac
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 01:19 PM

I think my worst one was a line in Kieren Halpin's "Too long away" when I sang "Men with no suits and black faces". I met Kieren a couple of weeks later and mentioned it to him.... thinking it would make him smile.. He said its "men with black suit and no faces .. suit is singular .. its a state of mind not a state of dress". Anyway I felt suitably put in my place. He is not famous for his humour .. nice songs though.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Sonnet
Date: 07 Sep 02 - 03:52 PM

When my daughter, Rachael, was at junior school, her class had been taught What Shall We Do With the Drunken Sailor. I enjoyed the Rachaelism:

"Put him in the CUPBOARD with a hose-pipe on him."

JMcS

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Jim McLean
Date: 07 Sep 02 - 03:16 PM

What about the song "wae's me for Prince Charlie" heard as where's me fourpence, Charlie? Jim McLean

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,dr. soul yet again
Date: 07 Sep 02 - 02:23 AM

My buddy Charles Bassi was singing on a jam session, classic Chicago blues "I'm a Man". Got to the chorus, Charles sings: "I'm a man, spelled A, uh . . . "!

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,dr. soul
Date: 07 Sep 02 - 02:15 AM

. . . the lead singer would regularly turn "headlights" (as in, "I was caught in the headlights") into "head lice", but enunciation is difficult under the best of circumstances, and who (but the rest of the band) would notice?

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 06 Sep 02 - 07:48 PM

Thanks Just Amy!

Genie, I always get Tim Rice mixed up with Tim Curry. And I could never sing about Floyd Collins, the ill-fated spelunker, because I confuse him with Floyd Kramer ( but he's the piano player) but then I think he was the barber on Mayberry (but that was Just Floyd).

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Genie
Date: 06 Sep 02 - 05:04 PM

Spaw, Andrew Lloyd Weber doesn't usually write the lyrics. It's often Tim Rice, but it has been other lyricists, too.

Jim D., I like those stories about the non-mondegreen types of screw ups. One that I've done once or twice before, when my mouth was on auto-pilot, was to inadvertently change the last line of "Hey, Good Lookin'!" from "How's about cookin' somethin' up with me?" to "How's about keepin' somethin' up for me."

BTW, Jim, "When it came time to perform it in concert, half of them--the ones who had been in the car with me--started off in 4/4 while the rest started off in 3/4!" -- Isn't that called "jazz?"

There's another mondegreen website called "amiright.com".

Genie

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: open mike
Date: 06 Sep 02 - 02:01 AM

the hookah smoking caterpillar is from Alice in wonderland-and he wriggled into jefferson starship's song-no doubt there were some colors happening back then-- and tails and hallucinations....did crayola add any psychedelic colors- oh yeah, i guess the fluorescent ones..

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 05 Sep 02 - 08:47 PM

Fred: The theatre audition item was hilarious!

Kyrie Elaison means Exalt the Lord! (Kyrie is Greek for the Lord and Elaison is the verb to exalt) I found this in some Roman Catholic website that has a Latin dictionary.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Fred Miller
Date: 05 Sep 02 - 06:46 PM

Yall are crazy, it's "there's a babboon on the right." Is a "bathroom" going "to take your life?" Or a "bad moon?" whatever ever that is? It doesn't make any sense. Don't go around tonight... there's a babboon on the right.

Does anyone know what Kyrie Elaison means? I used to, from a gregorian chant, but I forgot, and nobody knows. I could look it up, but it's not the same, somehow.

A friend of mine heard the Davey Crocket song line Killed him a b'ar when he was only three, as Killed in a bar when he was only three. Which raises questions as to what he was doing in a bar, and how he became so famous having died so young.

But my favorite performance glitch was a theatre audition by someone who'd never heard the tomAYto/tomAHto pronunciations--You say Tomayto, I say Tomayto, let's call the whole thing off.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 05 Sep 02 - 06:45 PM

I for years (like 20) thought the words to "Kodachrome" were, "Momma don't take my colored phone away: and I sang it like that. What a dope!

My friend who was from the middle east thought it was "Bad Moose Risin'" but the people he sang it to mostly didn't understand English anyway.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,An Croenen
Date: 05 Sep 02 - 06:11 PM

Going on from Banjer, you reminded me of my neighbour boy claiming at school that God lived in his street, because my husbands name is Godfried... (We also got bankstatements mentioning 'payment from Mr God' for a while - fabulous, isn't it!). I know these aren't lyrics, but perhaps they should become lyrics..

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Melani
Date: 05 Sep 02 - 12:23 AM

When my aunt was little, she was particularly fond of the Woody Guthrie Dustbowl song that went, "So long, it's ringgold sunolya." The fact that it made no sense didn't slow down a four-year-old.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 11:34 PM

She's got a tick in her eye (She's got a ticket to ride)

'scuse me while I kiss this guy ('scuse me while I kiss the sky)

The second one is so famous, somebosy put up a website: http://www.kissthisguy.com/

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Banjer
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 10:17 PM

Don reminded me of the old (with whiskers) joke about the youngster who told mom nad dad that they had learned God's name in Sunday school. When they asked what was the name and how did he learn it he said he learned it in the song, 'In The Garden'. The chorus starts out....Andy walked with me, Andy talked with me, He told me I was His own.....

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 08:59 PM

Hymn about a funny animal. "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,An Croenen
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 08:05 PM

My 4 year old came home singing a little prayer she had learnt at school. She was adamant that it ended with 'Our men' (Amen)...

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: John Routledge
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 07:48 PM

What I remembered as a one verse song and have recently sung as such was actually the first two lines of the fifth verse and the last two lines of the sixth verse. It still made sense so my embarrassment was reduced when it was pointed out that I had missed out 4 verses and two half verses. Happy days.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 05:24 PM

OK, here are the threads I've found on mondegreens. As usual, there is some thread drift in some of these.

Mistakes I Have Made When Listening To Songs
Spoonerism's in songs- Examples
mis-heard lyrics (surely they didn't say...)
There's a Bathroom on the Right
Misspoken, misheard, but accepted.
Misheard words
Mis-heard session tune titles.
Help: Monthelawn???
BS: mystery lyrics
any new mondegreens?
Lyr Req: Ants Are Blowing in the Wind
Lyric drift.
Lyr Req: Round John
Help: What is a Monigan?
Mangled Lines
BS: Great Misquotations
BS: Dept. of Misheard Lyrics
BS: Another mondegreen
BS: Asteroid Light -- erratum
Gig bloopers - did I sing that???
mondegreen ?

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 03:55 PM

It seems CDNOW doesn't allow direct links to their sound samples. (How do they know?) Anyway, if you right-click on the CDNOW links that I provided above, a little menu pops up. Then click on "Copy Shortcut." Then paste the URL into your browser's Address box and click "Go." That works in Microsoft Internet Explorer, anyway.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 03:43 PM

When I first saw this thread title, I hoped it would NOT be about mondegreens, because we have already had plenty of those. (I may post some links later.) But to my knowledge, there hasn't been a thread about other kinds of embarrassing on-stage screwups. So while I'm thinking about it, I'll post a couple of my favorite screw-up stories.

*

A friend of mine, singing at a folk festival, sang THE SCOTSMAN'S KILT, which has been in his repertoire for years. But instead of singing the punch line, he inadvertently repeated a line from earlier in the song. He sang it with a big finale-type flourish, as if it were a punch line, but there was no punch line there! On stage, he gave no indication he realized he had done anything wrong. He did realize it, it turns out, too late to fix it, so he just decided to bluff his way through.

The good news is, this was billed as a "first annual" festival but there never was a second. It was in a remote location, was poorly publicized, and he was the first act of the day, so the audience was VERY small, for which we will always be grateful.

*

I rode along with my wife and a couple of her fellow band members on the way to one of their concert gigs. In the car, they decided to rehearse the words to their songs. One of them was "The Star of the County Down."

When they had finished, I asked if they had heard the Van Morrison/Chieftains version. They hadn't, so I sang part of it for them. The main difference is, Morrison sings it in 4/4 time (Click here), but they (and most other people, I think) do it in 3/4 ((Click here for an example)). Nobody said much about it, just "Oh, that's interesting" or something like that.

When it came time to perform it in concert, half of them--the ones who had been in the car with me--started off in 4/4 while the rest started off in 3/4! They were several measures into it before they realized what was wrong and started over.

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,JTT
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 01:59 PM

And at the height of the Celtic Tiger there were those who thought "Islands in the Stream" was "Ireland's Industry".

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: Jim Krause
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 12:45 PM

Then there's Grace Slick singing
"Tell 'em a hookah
Smokin' color crayons
Has given you the call
Go ask Alice, when she was just small."

I still have no idea what the real words to White Rabbit are.

And who could forget Karen Carpenter singing
"So they sprinkled walnuts in your hair
And starlight in your eyes like glue."

when what she really sang was:
"So they sprinkled gold dust in your hair
And starlight in your eyes of blue."

Jim

Subject: RE: What are the worst lyric screwups you've
From: GUEST,KingBrilliant
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 03:41 AM

I think I've posted this before , but...
I heard the 80's Banarama hit "Robert De Niro's waiting, talking italian" as "Robert De Niro's waiting, f*ck*ng italian!".
It always made me giggle, and I just couldn't hear it any other way.
Then there was their other hit "I'm your penis, I'm your fire, what's your desire?".

Kris