BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades

Subject: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 02:41 PM

Howdy. This goes along with Huggers & Huggees

OK, maybe I'm making too much of this, and maybe nobody else has even noticed it, if so, then just put it down as a useless rant....but....

It drives me nuts when I'm meeting a guy and he HAS to use the "bone-crusher" handshake. Jeesus, I make my living with those fingers, and it is SOOO annoying. I've never said anything to a person doing that, but it strikes me that I may start mentioning it.

Yep, there are all kinds of handshakes....from the total dead fish...once again I can't figure that person out, 'cause they gotta KNOW that it makes 'em look bad, to the guy who insists on doin' the "Hippie" raised wrist clasp.

Seinfeld had a character who was enamoured of the "High-Five" and once again, I simply get thrown for a loop when someone initiates this. Thank Gawd women rarely go in for these kind of things!

So here are all the potential greetings I can think of (and my reactions). Feel free to add to the list!

Big Hug: Wonderful when you're comfortable with that person

Firm handshake: The best, all around.

Bone-crusher Handshake: Do these guys KNOW they're doin' it??!!

Slimy dead fish handshake: Surely these guys DON'T know they're doin' it!

High Five: Unless yer black, and somehow it's 1970 again...please don't!

Heil Hitler salute: Please go to the nearest Hogans' Heroes website!!

Cheers

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 03:20 PM

Then again there's always "Nanu! Nanu!" witht he wiggly fingers. And don't forget "Live Long and Prosper!".

May hap you should invent a new greeting ritual, Rick, and start a fad or movement with it -- The Fielding Grimace, or perhaps Ten-Callous-Touchy-Feely, where just the pads on the fingers touch briefly.

Or the Travis Greeting, where fingerpickers raise their right hand and wiggle their thumb and first two fingers in a sort of synchronized dum-DADA-dum-DADA rhythm.

Or perhaps, the Capo Salutation -- each person grips the wrist of the other gently but firmly between thumb and forefinger while singing "Hell-o-o-o" starting on E and sliding up to G.

Or the Flatpick Floogie, where you hold out a flatpick toward the other person, who does the same, and you shuffle your feet and go "thwip! thwip! thwip!" with your flatpicks slapping each other at the tips.

I am sure you'll think of something, Rick!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 03:29 PM

Left handshake: Boy Scouts

'Funny' Handshake: Freemasons

Handshake with both hands held level with the head: The Christie Minstrels

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: kendall
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 03:35 PM

If you know the other guy is one of those turkeys, don't offer your hand. The problem is, what I might consider a firm hand shake, another might call a bone crusher. My doctor always offers a hand shake when I see him, and, I don't try to put him on his knees just because I could, he has small delicate hands which he needs to check my prostate, so, I don't want him looking to "get even".

When I get a hand shake from a limp wristed nipfart, I am always tempted to put him on his knees, but I don't because that would make me a boor; wouldn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 03:38 PM

Any time I'm playing banjo or guitar with fingerpicks, someone will come in who wants/needs/deserves a handshake. I play with a flatpick about 80% of the time, but handshakers always seek me out while in fingerpicking mode. So....do you take the time to remove the picks before shaking or just assume that they understand that you've spent the last ten minutes trying to get the things to fit just right and shake with the picks still on? Fellow pickers don't seem to mind, but it always seems to put non-pickers off a little when you extend a hand bristling with little metal and plastic extensions.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 03:44 PM

Amos,
You suggested "Ten-Callous-Touchy-Feely, where just the pads on the fingers touch briefly. " Wasn't that sort of the way Vulcans kissed (or made love) on Star Trek?

The problem with the bone-crushers is usually not so much the amount of pressure as the position. The killer ones are when they squeeze your fingers instead of the meaty part of the hand. People need to learn where to grab, not just how hard.

SWO

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 03:46 PM

Bruce, you need to learn the "Papal Picker" blessing-cum-greeting, a portfolio gesture epecilaly designed for this situation. As they approach with hand out to shake, you extend your right hand with thumb and fingerpicks still on it, and play a light, affectionate but firm tatoo in 3/4 on the crown of his orher head, while smiling beatifically and blessing them in whatever terms seem most appropriate.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 04:07 PM

Sonja, I think the Vulcans just fondled each other with the "live long and prosper" confingeration.

It was Bill & Ted or Doug and Bob or the guys whose names I can't remember - Dana Carvey and Whatsisface (the guy in the "Goldmember" movie) - who did that little "diddlediddlediddle" thing with their fingertips. Doesn't work unless you have electric guitar sound effects.

I have had guys try to crush my hands. If I'm prepared (chronic offender) I crush back. I can surprise hand-squashers unless they're really big guys. If it's too late to go on the offensive, I go limp. It doesn't hurt, and hopefully grosses the squasher out.

You want REALLY weird, shake my hand in the winter. I HATE static shocks and I'll try to discharge the spark before I grab your hand. (Cat-type batting - "touch-touch-ZAP," then handshake.)

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Peter T.
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 04:33 PM

I believe that the secret cure for this is to immediately push your hand forward into the other person's grip as far as it will go, before the crushing begins. I was taught this by a politician who has been shaking hands for a lifetime. yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 05:08 PM

There's the old Roman Handshake where you each grasp the other's wrist. I think it's basically to check they haven't a knife up the sleeve.

I don't know if that's what Rick means by the hippy wrist calsp, or if thats the one where the forearm is up 45%, and there's a firm handhold. Very handy when you are a bit unsteady on your feet at the time, so I think that probably is the one.

The Indian (from India) greeting has the hands held together as if in prayer with a slight bow, and it's supposed to be recognising the divine element in the other person.

The crucial thing with all of them - especially maybe the last - is that there's an understanding between both sides as to which is the one they are going to be using, or it just gets silly.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 05:30 PM

Remind me never to check Kendall's prostate.

Actually that "push yer hand into the other guy's" is a good idea. I often find that I'm having my fingers "shook" rather than my whole hand. Now I realize it's probably just my general insecurity at initial meetings.

Believe me though, the "bonecrushers" are the worst....and yes BeeDubya, it always seems to be when the fingerpicks are on.

Cheers (or I'll dump you on yer ass with my handshake)

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 05:36 PM

My sentiments exactly, Rick. I think the East Indian greeting technique is the best...but if people aren't expecting it, they think it's weird.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: DougR
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 05:47 PM

Rick: please tell us you never even CONTEMPLATED checking out Kendall's prostate ...please! :>)

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 06:03 PM

You could always just turn partially aside and offer them yuour elbow to shake.

They're much harder to crush, I think.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Allan Dennehy
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 06:15 PM

Hey! We forgot the ones that grab your hand between songs, hold on to it as if they owned it themselves and tell you a long story while you should be getting on with your act. Don't get a lot of bonecrushers over here in Copenhagen although you'll meet the limp wristed ones allwright. Mind you, I think that its very suitable for an effeminate gay fella to give a gentler handshake than a building site worker................

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: John O'L
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 06:20 PM

I hope Kendall's doctor doesn't read that.

Glenn

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Big Mick
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 06:27 PM

I might be the offender who occasionally squeezes too hard. I can assure you that sometimes you don't realize that you are doing it. Whether it is handshakes or hugs, I am communicating just as surely as if I were speaking. Hence, the handshake (or hug, or greeting) can take on many forms for me, depending on what I am trying to communicate with it. Now.................with Rick..............it is always a "Damn I am so glad to see you, and tickled pink that you are sticking around a while.........".   Even kendal demontrated that this was so when he indicated that he didn't want his medico gittin even whilst reaching up his nether regions...............LOL.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 06:44 PM

*note to self*...DO remind Rick not to check Kendall's prostrate...and ask Rick if he has before shaking hands with him

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 06:46 PM

I am most dangerous after arriving at musical weekends after long car rides and I'm stoked full of adrenaline.

Mick, you might be different with male guys, but you seem VERY conscious of your size and strength and how intimidating those things can be to someone who doesn't know you. I haven't actually shaken your hand though! The hugs are solid, but I've been more squished by others.

Anyway, maybe you'll be more careful with Rick's hand now that you'll always consider where it might have been.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Mudlark
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 07:06 PM

I think you are all overlooking a form of greeting that Kurt Vonnigut once invented...boko maru, I think it was called, in which bare soles of feet touch. It gets around the problems of crushed hands, picks, etc. entirely. And puts both parties in a totally non-combatant position, sitting down, foot to foot.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: kendall
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 07:16 PM

Yes, Rick, please promise!

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 07:55 PM

Then there's the one you get in some Irish singing where a singer's hand is grasped by a friend as a way of silently joining them in the song and pushing them on. Which can sometines turn into the reverse.

Which isn't a greeting ritual of course, but it's worth knowing about.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:01 PM

There's the Fat Folksingers of America handshake (FFA) which consists of shaking hands with one hand and holding on to your belt with the other.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Sorcha
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:16 PM

I knew this little old man who would grab your elbow and squeeze really hard regardless of what you had in that hand (fiddle, coffe, etc) and of course he never knew how bad the tendonitis was that day.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: mack/misophist
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 09:07 PM

I HATE knuckle crushers!!! A few years ago I decided to give up social acceptability and mention it whenever it happened. Usually, I say something like "If I'd started squeezing first, I could have crushed your's. Big deal, big man." If I don't get an instant apology, I behave as if they weren't there.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 09:43 PM

I've been accused of the Bonecrusher thing. I was always taught to give a firm handshake, maybe I over do it. I was also taught that it is a very quick act, grip, shake, release. I have a real problem with those people who hold onto your hand for an entire conversation. And Rick, if the hippy one that you're referring to is the one that is basically a standing arm wrestling grip (often following a normal handshake) I'm with you. I won't let anyone do it to me, maybe I'm just uncool.

Too bad Seineld is off the air, there's some material here that would go along well with things like quiet talkers and close talkers.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: GUEST,leeeneia
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 10:03 PM

I've been having pain in my little fingers lately, and I forestall handshakes by giving the two-finger sign of peace when I see a handshake coming. I think it's better all round.

The most painful handshake I've ever had came from a dear friend, a woman 5 feet tall who plays piano for a living. Talk about muscles in the hand and forearm!

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Tinker
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 11:29 PM

Rick, You've clearly escaped the relm of the rubber chicken dinner if you haven't included the air-kiss-embrace. I'm not sure which thread it fits in... Sometime this accompanies a hug, but rarely a true hug. The main idea is to faine true affection without even coming close to disturbing, hair, make-up or costuming which may have been hours in the making. It may begin with a hand shake pull in .... or "hug" with hands on opposite shoulders... or a stiff hug.

I seem to think it's used when a hand shake is not enough but there is either too much reserve, too much make-up, or just too much, too much for a sincere hug. As for kissing the air next to someone's ear...I don't get it...

Tinker

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Bert
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 11:37 PM

Bonecrusher Handshake: Do these guys KNOW they're doin' it??!!

Yup, they do it on purpose and they practice catching your fingers instead of your hand. Relax your fingers and they won't do any permanent harm. I usually show no response whatsoever, as they are only looking for a response. If you can't do that, then you can say "Yes, I was a kid once, too"

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Sorcha
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 11:39 PM

Oh, I forgot the "milking the cow" thing.....that is awful!

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: delphinium
Date: 08 Sep 02 - 11:39 PM

Leeeneia, you could try the "arthritis handshake" - a sort of clasping of the forearms. I know someone who is able to teach/demonstrate this very graciously to people who look like they might squeeze her hand.

I've heard that the original handshake was like this, so that the people who were meeting could size up each others' health by feeling for lymph nodes. But checking for knives might aid your health in a more immediate way ...

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Les B
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 01:20 AM

In certain parts of Africa I've seen a very gracious greeting which consisted of putting the right had over the heart and patting it two or three times while slightly bowing the head. No inter-digital contact and it gave you a warm feeling!

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Les B
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 01:21 AM

Sorry, that should be "right HAND"!

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: hesperis
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 02:31 AM

Ugh! Bone-crushers... my stepdad was trying to teach me how to have a "solid handshake" and he always grabbed my fingers instead of my hand... then he'd complain I had a limp handshake. He'd grab it too quickly for me to fix the grip by sliding my hand forward, too. Grrrrr!

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 02:48 AM

I have a fairly firm handshake - surprised many a bloke who thought I'd be girly and weak.... I tend not to offer it unless prompted by the other person, because we have a very large Muslim population in my area and workplace.

I like firm handshakes, but again, the bonechrusher can be offputting, but sometimes, when I get one, I hold on a bit longer and give an extra squeeze to let them know they don't intimidate me.....

The worst is the limp sweaty one, like holding a wet fish that's been dead for a week. I always want to rub my hand down the side of my trousers after that one..... and on being forced into handshakes with certain people, have done so in full view.... it sort of negates the handshake and tells them that hostilities have not been suspended....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Genie
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 02:57 AM

Jeri, I once saw Spok 'getting it on' with a (female) Romulan Commander by touching their fingertips to each other's.

Great tip (on how to save your fingertips), Peter T!

Allan C., Those folks who grab and hold your hands while you're trying to move on to the next song -- I encounter these folks from time to time in nursing homes (especially Alzheimer's patients).  What excuse do other folks have for this sort of behavior?

Bert, that "relax your fingers" advice might do the trick with bone-crushers if you don't have pronounced arthritis in your fingers already.  If you do have arthritic joints, those finger squeezes can be excruciating!  (I'm just glad handshakes are done with the right hand, since it is my chording hand that has the most severe "Heburdin's nodes*."
 

Genie

* ...and I'm quite sure I mangled the spelling of that node-guy's name.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: lady penelope
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 03:57 AM

I used to have my hand regularly crushed by a boor in my office of London Underground. After the first few times, I quietly mentioned that I didn't find it necessary to try to break my hand if he wanted to shake it ( he used to get his thumb on the side of your index finger knuckle and his index finger on your pinky knuckle and grind...) . His response was literally "Piffle!" and he walked off. I got my revenge at the next meeting, when he grabbed my hand I screamed. Lawks, was he embarrased. I mean, how good does it look when you're over 6 foot, built like a brick out house and you go around hurting small women for no apparent reason in a work situation? Strangely, he wouldn't come near me at all after that and I used to wind him up by edging closer to him, just to see what he would do.

I like the african nod thing, although you may have some confusion around penitent catholics ( meia culpa.....).

TTFN M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Allan Dennehy
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 07:54 AM

Nice story Lady P. Just goes to show that there's more than one way to skin a cat.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: mack/misophist
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:16 AM

His name escapes me just now - the 'How To Win Friends and Influence People' guy had a few good ideas. He believed the perfect handshake was one which matches the pressure and movement of the other person as closely as possible.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:17 AM

Well ALL RIGHT!!

Great ideas often come from Mudcat anecdotes....so here's my plan...and I'M GONNA DO IT....just so I can bring this thread back one day and let folks know about it.

The next time I encounter a bone-crusher, I'm really going to over-react....feign a broken finger etc. lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth, and implying that I won't be able to play for the next several weeks (or feed Heather and the cats!).....that'll teach 'em!

As far as "The multi-pumpers" go....I guess they're just lonely

Cheers

Rick (medium grip, three pumps)

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: SharonA
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 04:44 PM

The one who get me (in addition to the bone-crusher and the dead-fish-hand) is the guy who reaches toward your hand as if he's swimming: his arm is raised almost above his head while his hand slices downward through the air, then he takes your vertically-positioned hand in his horizontally-positioned one and twists your wrist until you're palms-up. I've run into a couple of these at work lately when introduced to clients passing through, and I very much dislike the silent message conveyed by their dominance and their forcing me into a symbolically submissive position in the handshake. I'm surprised that no one has taught these people just how bad this is for business! I mean, even if they do intend to be "dominant" in the business relationship, they do themselves no favors by telegraphing a warning to that effect beforehand!

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 09 Sep 02 - 05:29 PM

How to shake hands is one thing; when to do so is another. When you first meet someone seems pretty general - but after that there's a lot of variance.

My impression is that the French seems to go in for shaking hands on meeting and parting each time, even if they expect to see each other the next daywhereas the English tend to only do it on meeting and on partings which are likely to be extended. Same goes for the Irish - but in addition, in the context of music, making a point of shaking the hand of someone who's sung a song you like is pretty common, and that's quite unusual amonmg the English in my experience.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Hrothgar
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 05:52 AM

I don't mind getting my fingers squeezed, but a few months ago I shook hands with a bloke who crushed my whole hand. He had a grip like a gorilla's (or what I imagine would be a gorilla's, smart alecs!) and my hand was sore for a month while my fingers were relatively unharmed.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: kendall
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:49 AM

A simple "EASY, I have arthritis" works for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:02 AM

Hi Kendall. How 'bout "Easy, I have leprosy"!!

Hmmmmmmm, guess I'll start my apologies now. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, etc. (repeat endlessly)

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: SharonA
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:41 AM

Hmmm... I wonder if the same people who make hand-buzzers and whoopee-cushions make a fake hand that will crush to powder when someone tries to shake it with that gorilla-grip. That would show 'em!

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 12:57 PM

Sharon A. - your idea reminds me of a tale from the 1870's western frontier here in Montana. The Indians were known to have a wry sense of humor.

One day a cavalry patrol encountered a band of Indians riding along. As was the custom, they rode up to shake hands. One of the indians extended a hand from his robe, and the young lieutenant who grasped it was horrified to find it come off in his hand. It was the hand of an enemy warrior the band had just killed and mutilated. The indians had a big laugh over it. The soldier was not amused.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Deda
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 01:01 PM

Thread creep -- greetings performed with hands & arms: Remember the mayor of the village in Young Frankenstein? He had a wooden arm, which he would twist and yank and push into position to give a salute, and then twist and yank and push it back down. He also stuck darts into it when he was playing darts with Gene Wilder, who was trying to be nonchalant and also trying to cover up the moans and howls of the Frankenstein monster. It was hilarious.

I think giving a sharp salute to anyone you'd rather not shake hands with, followed by a wide and friendly smile, would probably put them off, puzzle them, and prevent damage to your hand-bones.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:00 PM

Lady P., Rick, et al., I've encountered similar bone-crushers on the dance floor.  A lot of guys don't know how to hold their partner's hand by the fingertips (e.g., when doing turns) without even using the thumb or how, at least, not to put unnecessary pressure on your partner's hand.  ( A lot of women don't know this either, but they are usually not the ones leading their partners into pirouettes.)  I get so tired of having my knuckles painfully squeezed while dancing, that one time when a guy was really hurting my fingers, I squeezed back.  He yelled "Ouch!" and looked at me in horror.  I don't think he asked me to dance or even spoke to me until months later (when, I think, he had forgotten who I was).

Kendall and Rick, I do tell folks that I have arthritis-- and that that intensifies the pain.  But I very much do not want to leave the bone crushers with the impression that that is the only reason for modifying their handshake (or dance hold) technique.  It is unnecessary to put a vice grip on someone's fingers even if they do not have arthritis, and any good dance instructor will tell you that grabbing your partner's hand firmly with thumb pressed tightly against the back of their fingers or hand is not proper technique.  (Good dancers can stay together on the dance floor with very subtle leading and with hand contact that is very much understated.)  If I use the "I have arthritis" excuse, folks tend to dismiss the situation as "my problem," rather than theirs.

Subject: RE: BS: Greeting etiquette:Handshakes from Hades
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 03:05 AM

I hate the swimming technique too, I'm always afraid they'll have my eye out en route.

My Rwandan friends shake hands and hold on at every meeting, it's a continuation of the friendly encounter, and the longer they hold your hand, the better friend or family member you are. A short hand hold, more sort of talk on the bus sort of friendship. A long hand hold, deep meaningful and loving relationship.

It's quite offensive to let go their hands before they've finished, because it means you don't want to be their freinds any more. Strange sort of custom, but one I like.

LTS