what's the worst song you ever heard?3

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: mg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:29 PM

Boy, Kilkelly Ireland is sure up there in my book. Not as high as Barrett's Privateers or Bright Morning Stars..maybe on a par with Caledonia..and Wode which is a travesty of a beautiful tune....but I do like the Drummer Boy..mg

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Tom Hamilton
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 02:43 PM

A song by Ferlon Husky called 'the drunken driver'

it is just a typical country 'talking' song 'rubbish' it tells the story of a driver how is drunk whilst driven his car and he ends up killing his son and daughter.

a really lovely song.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:02 PM

There was one polluting the airwaves back in the summer, with some guy singing..."We'll wake up, we'll make up, and do it for the last time, then we'll break up, and shake up, and do it for the last time..." or something like that.

Really, really annoying. And they were playing it everywhere. Mercifully, they seem to have finally stopped doing so.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Peter Woodruff
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 08:37 PM

McArthur's Park..."Someone left the cake out in the rain." Yuck!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: PoppaGator
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:12 PM

"McArthur's Park" was/is unforgettably awful, perhaps the worst top-selling pop song of all time.

"Never Been to Me," on the other hand, is something I had mercifully forgotten -- until you reminded me! Thanks a heap!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:50 PM

Amongst my Xmas gifts was a CD by a band called Me First & the Gimme Gimmes, on which they perform punk arrangements of a plethora of truly crap songs from the '60s & '70s, including "Sweet Caroline", "Seasons in the Sun", and "Danny's Song"...it is hilarious, and highly recommended, if only to wipe the original versions out of your head!

D.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:18 PM

Well, on their next album let's hope they do "I've Never Been To Me", "Billy, Don't Be A Hero", and "Endless Love", cos we really need a whole new slant on those three.

I heard a marvelous punk version of "My Way" once, but I don't know which band it was that recorded it.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joybell
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:46 PM

I thought I knew which songs to list here, but I just had to listen to "Baby's First Christmas" while shopping for my 2 year old grandson. That's by far and away the very worst. I don't even have to give the words. Just guess. Joy-the-fastest-shopper-in-the-store.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 07:00 PM

any Fart Brooks song - all of em are crap!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joybell
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 07:09 PM

But about McArthur Park - It did contain such useful advice. I've never left a cake out in the rain since I heard that song. Why did he lose the recipe anyway? Did someone leave that out in the rain too?

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: kendall
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 02:32 PM

Any song that Frank Sinatra sang. And, tell me, Why are there Mel Torme records?

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,sorefingers
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:01 PM

Yellow Submarine ...

If I lived in a submarine I would not be singing about it!

Subject: Lyr Add: MY COLORING BOOK
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:05 PM

Has everyone forgotten this one?

MY COLORING BOOK
(Words, Fred Ebb. Music, John Kander. 1962.)

If you admire coloring books,
And lots of people do,
I've a new one for you!
A most unusual coloring book,
The kind you never see,
Crayons ready, crayons set,
Begin to color me!

These are the eyes that watched her,
As she walked away,
Color them gray!

This is the heart,
That thought she would always be true,
Color it blue!

These are the arms that held her,
And touched her,
Then lost her somehow,
Color them empty now!

This is the tie, I wore,
Until you came between,
Color it green!

This is the room I sleep in, and walk in, and weep in,
And hide in, that nobody sees,
Color it lonely please!

This is the girl that once I depended upon,
Color her gone!

[As sung by Perry Como. Also famously sung by Barbra Streisand, mutatis mutandis.]

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,navigator
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:19 PM

Hut sut ralston on the rillara and the bralla bralla suet
or something like that

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:34 PM

Really, there is no contest:

Watching Scotty Grow by Bobby Goldsboro.

A definite finger down the throat song.

Jerry

And c'mon Kendall... you obviously hate Frank Sinatra (who was one of my greatest influences) but he sang more great SONGS than anyone in the history of the planet..

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:40 PM

There are a few that would qualify in my book. But the worst would be those that are used to demean others and dehumanize.

Some racist songs from the South would qualify such as Run N----------Run, the Pateroll Will Get You, or I've Got A Bimbo Down in the Bamboo Isle. Some Minstrel shows would qualify. Songs demeaning to women would also qualify in my book such as many "dirty" songs
that are not funny but ugly such as Barnicle Bill the Sailor.
Songs that were employed for negative political purposes would
have to qualify such as Dixie even though as a song, it has a great tune but has been debased by some psuedo-Confederates such as the Klan. The Horst Wessel song might qualify. Jovenetse Primavera from facist Italy might be another.

As to the inane aspects of some popular songs such as "Feelings"
or other bits of treacle, I think that if they don't do damage
and someone likes them then I can't consider them the worst I've heard. This thread is a set-up in that it's a subjective opinion that's asked for, not a critique of the mechanics of songwriting.

But the sexist, racist, inhumane songs for me would qualify.

Frank

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joybell
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:44 PM

I always wanted more colours in that one, Jim. Great possibilities. Like a verse about murder - colour it blood-red. Purple for rage. The whole song is colour it green though, for nausea.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 05:08 PM

LH--I do believe it may have been the inimitable Sex Pistols that recorded "My Way", although I'd have to check to be certain!

D.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 06:23 PM

"Stairway to Heaven" - the CD (a copy of which I do not own!) of the collected versions as done by everybody (including Rolf Harris) - except William Shatner.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:28 PM

My lord...that *does* sound bad. But don't tell me that so prolific a vocal stylist as William Shatner has actually neglected to record it?!

D.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM

There really is no accounting for taste. Is there?

Frank, for example, put Run, Nigger, Run on his list, I suspect because it had evolved into a terribly racist song among white old-time string bands. But I've heard Peggy Seeger perform Run, Nigger, Run as an empathetic song warning an escaped slave that the patrolmen ("paddy rollers") were out and about. Nevertheless, I think Jerry was onto something when he mentioned Watching Scotty Grow. It must be the combination of inauthenticity and schmaltz that make a song unbearable. I will therefore submit a nomination: The Blue Water Line, sung by the Brothers Four.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 10:49 PM

"Watching Scotty Grow"? That would be another Star Trek inspired song, right? James Doohan (Scotty) did grow very noticeably as the years went by until he finally became heavier than the entire warp drive of the starship Enterprise, necessitating his retirement from the service.

Kirk, on the other hand, remained trim, athletic and inexpressibly sexy right up until his final appearance in "Generations", where the character (but not the actor) died heroically, saving the Galaxy. True, he did belong to Corset-Wearers Anonymous for a few years, but it was only a temporary lapse when the Loblaws commercials got cancelled and T.J.Hooker was earing very poor reviews. He soon bounced back, as heros must when duty calls.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Ely
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 11:32 PM

(In addition to agreeing with much of what has already been posted) The "My Ding-A-Ling" one is pretty awful, and I've never heard a version of that song about the orphan girl freezing to death on the rich man's steps that I could tolerate. I also hate "Last Night I had the Strangest Dream" because it's simplistic, un-helpful drivel.

The best version I ever heard of "Achy-Breaky Heart" was converted to zydeco--not only did it have that rockin' Cajun rhythm but it was in Cajun French and I couldn't understand a word . . .

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 07:08 AM

My Ding-A-Ling takes on a whole new dimension when performed by a woman, particularly at a women's music ferstival. Once again proving that there is no accounting for taste.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,dd
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:34 PM

Anyone for BRAND NEW KEY.....recorded by Melanie. Truly obnoxious

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 02:44 PM

Bilbo Baggins as sung by Leonard Nimoy

I love ya Spock but this ain't your greatest work.
From contrived lyrics, terrible backing, very odd instrumentation, and Nimoys singing voice this has got to be the worst song ever!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 04:35 PM

Yes, Bilbo Baggins is really astounding. It's the only thing Leonard Nimoy succeeded in recording that rivals the best of Shatner for sheer shock value.

Got to agree on "Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream" too, and for the same reasons. It's embarrassing.

MacArthur Park, on the other hand, is very neat both lyrically and musically. Anyone who can't figure out that the melting cake in the rain is a metaphor for the heartbreak of a failed romance should go back and take songwriting 101 all over again. :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Hobbitwoman
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 04:46 PM

Butterfly Kisses.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: LilyFestre
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 04:55 PM

LOL Janice....was that heard at the Womyn's Music Festival in Michigan? I heard some truly horrible songs there....along with some absolutely FANTASTIC songs/music!!!

Michelle

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joybell
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 05:27 PM

"Scarlet Ribbons" has a lot to answer for. That little girl needed those ribbons so much that her faith in God depended on it - well I reckon she should have asked Santa for them because that's what he's for. And what happened when she asked God for something really important and she'd used up her share of miracles getting ribbons. Spoilt little brat! I hate that song.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Crystal
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:02 PM

Frosty the Snowman.
Makes you wish for a flamethrower really!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:18 PM

Oooo...yeah. Scarlet Ribbons is just downright awful.

For a shockingly bad recording, listen to Big Daddy Malone doing "The Big Rock Candy Mountain". He later recorded under the psuedonym Burl Ives, and the original Big Daddy Malone stuff can only be had on some very rare bootlegs. Listening to it at all can cause temporary amnesia or madness. :-)

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 06:27 PM

"Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream"---AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I think I had successfully suppressed that one for *years*; that is just an AWFUL song, truly the stuff of nightmares.

As for "Bilbo Baggins", my 12 year old son & his chums recently discovered it & thought it so hilarious that they---wait for it---downloaded it onto a CD so they can break it out when in need of a cheap laugh at someone else's expense!

The musical stylings of Leonard Nimoy, entertaining yet another generation...!

D.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: s&r
Date: 29 Dec 03 - 06:45 AM

Feelings might have been great before it was translated (Dime - Italian?) Don't speak it, so I just wonder.

For a banal title my best is "When the new wears off of your crystal chandeliers"

Hutsut Ralson or whatever, brings back memories - I loved it at four years old.

I dislike the song version of Cavatina.

Subject: RE: Achy Breaky Fiddle Tune
From: MickyMan
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 08:32 AM

STORY: Back when Achy Breaky Heart ( a song that makes me gag too, Sorcha)was just getting over being a hit I was jamming with some pretty hard-core folkies at a festival when an old fiddler with a fantastic gritty sound joined us on a bunch of standards. Then he said, with all honesty, "Here's one for all the young folks in the gang" and launched into a raunchy version of ABH as a driving fiddle tune. Everybody just looked around to see who was going to retch first but after a few choruses we started to join in and it sounded fabulous. I mean it really did work as a fiddle tune. That has happened several times to me. The other tune I recall that happening on was "Never On A Sunday" from Zorba The Greek. It could very well be that most of our best fiddle tunes were once songs that everybody learned to hate.   MickyMan

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 12:41 PM

Anything by Percy French, but especially the foul "Paddy McGinty's Goat". Bodhran-making's too good for it. Patronising, "quaint" Oirish shite.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 01:23 PM

Well, I was down to Toronto yesterday, cruising the hobby shops and looking for bargains in model airplanes. I walk into "Wheels and Wings" and what do I hear? "The Sound of Music." Yes, it turned out that a young woman on the staff there had rented the movie, and they were playing it VERY loud over a large TV that is mounted up on the back wall of the store.

I hate every single song in The Sound of Music with a passion. Those songs have been driving me mad ever since I was a kid.

"These Are A Few of My Favourite Things" tortured me for the next few minutes while I was trying to look at model kits. It was soon followed by "Doe, a Deer" or whatever the hell it's called. AAAAARGGHHH! The misery of it all! Who would write such dreck? And why?

I tried desperately to shut it out, and kept checking out the model prices, but my concentration was badly off.

It went inanely on and on until finally another customer asked if they could please turn the sound down. Somebody went over and stopped the movie in mid-tremolo...and a spontaneous cheer arose from the 5 or 6 customers scattered around the store. Apparently I am not the only person who hates "The Sound of Music".

They forced us to sing that stuff in school too. I bear emotional scars to this day. :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: The hills are alive...
From: MickyMan
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 06:04 PM

"MY FELLOW AUSTRIANS"... I can't believe you don't like The Sound Of Music. About twenty years ago we bought my mother-in-law her first VCR and we included a tape of the movie because we knew she loved it. I kind of like it myself but she played that movie non-stop for at least two months. My two year old son was going to her for day care and I quized him about ten years later...he knew the words to all the songs without a mistake even then! At least I went to work every day, but I think I did permanent damage by leaving him there unprotected.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Chris
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 07:04 PM

<>

Burl Ives wasn't a pseudonym. It was his real name.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 10:36 PM

My gawd...two whole months of The Sound of Music??? The mind boggles. Your Mother-in-law must have had clam chowder between her ears.

Chris - No, no, no! That's just what they want you to think. The truth is that the original Burl Ives was rubbed out, put on ice, eliminated, deep-sixed...in the late 40's...by Big Daddy Malone, who then posed as Burl Ives right up into the 90's. Big Daddy Malone was a big orangutan who got a shave and a makeover. His resemblance to Ives was already so close that no one noticed, and he "aped" Ives's performance technique so effectively that he got away with it for nearly 50 years!

If you don't believe it, read the thread entitled "Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye" and be enlightened to the shocking truth about this sordid matter.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 01:19 AM

Funny how bad us REAL MUSOS think S.O.M. is, but all those millions of clotheared no talent non-musos love it - to the extent that it continues to rake in money - every day, somewhere in the world, it is on TV....

Robin

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Davetnova
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 04:05 AM

Sorry, its probably been subliminally forgotten by everyone in order to stay sane but I must remind you of - *THE BIRDY SONG*

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: MickyMan
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 05:57 AM

Come on.... you fuddy-duddy old folkies. Sound Of Music isn't that bad! I'd hate to think of what would have happened to my son if he'd listened to a two hour tape of Child Ballads for two months of his formative years. He probably would have killed my wife and I, run off with a nobleman's daughter (I'd have to pay for the wedding, of course) and thought that froggies went a-courtin'and deflowered virgins rose from the dead to exact revenge.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 10:35 AM

so...who remembers "The Tennesee Bird Walk"?...now THERE'S a profound little ditty with a tune for the ages!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 10:40 AM

oh, by the way, if you'd like to see & hear L. Nimoy massacre "Bilbo Baggins", click this link for a QuickTime movie...

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: PoppaGator
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 12:02 PM

I'd be glad never to hear any of the Sound of Music songs ever again in their orignal/soundtrack renditions, BUT...

I could listen to John Coltrane's "My Favorite Things" anytime anyday.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Snuffy
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 07:57 PM

"The Tennesee Bird Walk"?. Is that the same as "The Tennesee Wig Walk"?.

I used to sing that (I'm a bow-legged chicken, I'm a knock-kneed hen...) to my twins at bath time along with a load of other stuff like Michael Finnegan. You might think it rubbish, but 2-year-olds love it.

Subject: RE: Coltraine's Favorite Things
From: MickyMan
Date: 20 Jan 04 - 05:33 PM

Coltraine's Favorite Things is so very, very terrific, indeed. It was the first thing I heard by him and it absolutely blew my mind. He had such a refreshingly different concept of tone, and what better place to hear it put forth than in that sing-songy setting. Truly... I found myself crying real tears, and it was not at an emotionally frail time at all. I can't think of another time when something moved me in such an immediate blast. I was a teenager at the time, and not at all easy to impress. What a great thing to be brought on this site. Who says that folkies don't have open ears! Long live Coltraine and others like him!!!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jan 04 - 11:57 PM

Toss-up.

His: To All the Girls I've Ever Loved

Hers: These Boots were Made for Walkin'

Worst Album: TELLY SAVALAS SINGS YULETIDE FAVORITES
with its smash single, "Who Loves Ya, Baby Jesus?"

By the way, "Never on Sunday" is not from Zorba
the Greek (Anthony Quinn). It's from Never On
Sunday (Melina Mercouri).

LOVE, JOHNNY

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: M.Ted
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:34 AM

Richard Rodgers wrote some of the best music ever--his gift for melody leaves most everyone else in the dust--And Foolestroupe, real musicians do appreciate what he did in The Sound of Music--