Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 03:03 PM

GUEST,Mim on 03 Feb 2007 posted an accurate transcription of the lines sung by Tommy Cooper, but it omits the "patter." For those of you who obsess about thoroughness, here is the rest:


SPOKEN: Right. Here we go, then. Right. Here we are, then. Right. That's it. Right. I'll take over now, boys. Ri— I'll take over. Right. Ha-ha-ha-ha... Here we go, then. Leave it to me, now. I shall get it in a minute. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha....

VERSE: (See above.)

CHORUS: (See above.)

SPOKEN: Keep it goin', boys. Keep it goin', now. That's it, nice an' loud. Ha-ha-ha....

REPEAT CHORUS.

Ha-ha-ha....

* * *

According to the record label, which is visible in the video at YouTube (see McGrath's link above), DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF DAD was written by Cy Coben (who also wrote dozens of other country hits recorded by Bill Monroe, Connie Smith, Eddy Arnold, Buddy Holly, Hank Snow, Jim Reeves, Dean Martin, Lonnie Donegan, The Traveling Wilburys, Cab Calloway, etc.)

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF DAD (G Keillor)
From: GUEST,C1
Date: 22 Jun 10 - 01:21 PM

DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF, DAD
(New lyric by Garrison Keillor, 2000)

He came home from work feeling tired,
His boss had been driving him mad.
The kids were fighting, the dog bit him too
And supper was soy loaf and a lima bean stew.
When I started to practice piano,
Up to the rooftop he fled;
He was about to take a swan-dive,
When my dear little sister she said:

Don't jump off the roof, Dad,
You'll just make a mess in the yard.
The petunias are almost in blossom
And Mother's been working so hard!
It'll take us all summer to clean up
The blood and the guts and the gore;
Why not try carbon monoxide?
It's worked for others before.

So Daddy came down from the rooftop,
But Mother had taken the car.
He couldn't take poison, the thought made him sick,
And a BB gun just won't do the trick.
The sleeping pills in the bottle
Were not nearly enough as he'd need;
He grabbed some rope and he headed downstairs,
When my brother started to plead:

Don't hang yourself in the basement, Dad,
The water pipes can't take your weight;
There won't be hot water for showers
And tonight I have a big date.
Why hang yourself in the basement?
It's so much better with gas!
Just stick your head in the oven, Dad,
It's always worked in the past.

So Daddy came up from the basement
And he opened the big oven door,
But Sister was baking a pie, what a shame!
You can't bake a pie if you blow out the flame.
The knives were all dull in the pantry,
The arsenic in low supply;
So he took an electric fan to the bathroom,
When my sister started to cry:

Don't drop a fan in the bathtub, Dad,
It'll probably knock out the power
And "Who wants to be a Millionaire"
Comes on in just half an hour!
We'd die if we had to miss it,
So please won't you give us a break?
Just take a walk to the Park, Dad,
And there you can jump in the lake.

So Daddy went walking down to the Park,
He was planning to jump in the lake;
But before he reached the last act of this drama,
Someone called his name; he turned and saw Mother.
She had a new dress and hairstyle
And the blood all rushed to his head;
What a great night they had, and Daddy was glad
He'd listened to us when we said:

Don't jump off the roof, Dad,
You'll just make a mess in the yard.
The petunias are almost in blossom
And Mother's been working so hard!
It'll take us all summer to clean up
The blood and the guts and the gore;
So I guess you may as well just go on living, Dad,
Others have done it before.
Yes, you may as well just go on living, Dad,
Others have done it before.

Oh, Momma, don't kill Daddy with the breadknife.
'Twas given you the day that you were wed,
But if you must kill Daddy with the breadknife,
Please, Momma, use another knife for bread
.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 08:18 AM

Here's a youtube clip of Tommy Cooper singing Don't Jump off the Roof Dad. Unfortunately only audio.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,Guest,Ian
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 01:12 PM

I would love an mp3 version of this classic.My wife works in a day centre in Dorset and a regular visitor is his road manager.
Has such fond memories of the great man!!!!
my e:mail is

[e-mail]
thanks
Ian

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,Mike
Date: 12 Sep 07 - 05:09 PM

I found a downloadable mp3 of the track here:
http://justlikethat.homestead.com/Songs.html

Google is your friend! :)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,mike
Date: 12 Sep 07 - 04:07 PM

Thanks Mick, but I'm really after the Tommy Cooper version I heard on the radio (and the version my mum remembers). I'll keep looking...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 12 Sep 07 - 07:25 AM

I still have the wav file I downloaded from the Homer & Jethro site cited above. I've converted it to mp3 and sent a copy to JOHND. If anyone else wants a copy I'll send it if you let me have an address (if you want to keep your address private, become a member and send your address to me in a PM - personal message - using the Send A Personal Message in the Quick Links at the top of the page). The original wav is low quality (11kHz) so I've only made a low bitrate mp3; the wav is >400k, the mp3 >600k.

Mick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Sep 07 - 06:54 AM

I heard it last night and almost crashed the car ! I really would like to get it from somewhere

Mark

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,Mike
Date: 11 Sep 07 - 03:17 PM

They just played this on Radio 2, I rang up my mum to tell her that it reminded me of her and she sang the whole thing down the phone to me!

Has anyone a link to an mp3 ? or can upload to yousendit.com or similar ?

www.armcurl.com

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,JOHND
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:50 AM

I would like a copy of this on MP3 too my little girl is desperate to hear it as I have been singing it around the house. email address is: [e-mail]

Many thanks

John

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 06:49 PM

I found it plays OK with Windows Media Player but not with RealPlayer or Winamp.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 03:57 PM

I downloaded it Jim (it's only 429K) and it played OK for me (in JetAudio). (I'll do an abc from it if anyone really wants one)

Mick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 12:55 AM

This Homer & Jethro tribute page allegedly has a .wav file of DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF DAD, but I couldn't play it on my computer.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Bru
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 03:36 PM

Laurie

Copy of Tommy Cooper's Don't Jump Off The Roof Dad is also on its to you too. 8.35 pm Wednesday 4th July

Enjoy

Bru

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Bru
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 03:33 PM

Bert,

Tommy Cooper's Don't Jump Off The Roof Dad is on it's way 8.30 pm Wednesday 4th July.

Bru

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Jeri
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 03:24 PM

Sorry, Gene, my bad. I missed the requests for an MP3. (And I'm one of those who complains when folks don't read the thread...sheesh!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 03:12 PM

Jeri I was referring to an mp3 of it...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 10:29 PM

You already posted it in June 98 (above)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 10:23 PM

Email [e-mail] for homer & jethro's version...

Gene

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 02:09 AM

"What is it with fathers and rooftops?"

The kids are responsible... :-)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,Mike in DC
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 12:11 AM

It's also reminiscent of the Leroy Carr song from the 1930's, Papa's on the Rooftop, Wont Come Down. It was recorded in the 1960s by the Jim Kweskin Jug Band and more recently by Tim and Molly O'Brien. What is it with fathers and rooftops?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Bert
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:55 PM

That looks like a good song iancarterb. It surely would be good to start a new thread for it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: iancarterb
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:52 PM

I should start a new thread on this, but I'll look in Mudcat and other resources first. It reminds me of song I don't know any of except part of the chorus:
Oh, Momma, don't kill Daddy with the breadknife.
'Twas given you the day that you were wed,
But if you must kill Daddy with the breadknife,
Please, Momma, use another knife for bread.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Bert
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:15 PM

Hey Bru,

Would you also send me a copy at [e-mail]. I'd be most grateful.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,lawrie
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 06:59 PM

didn't send email address first time.
can you send mps to [e-mail]
cheers

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 06:37 PM

I would like the Mp3

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: Bru
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 05:37 PM

I can help you with the Tommy Cooper version of Don't Jump Off The Roof Dad. In MP3 format it's just over 2megs and 2 minutes long. I can send it by email if you've got an address I can send it.

Bru

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,NATALIE
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 05:21 PM

WHERE CAN I GET A COPY OF DONT JUMP OFF THE ROOF

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Jump off the Roof Dad
From: GUEST,Winterspread
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 04:25 PM

A strange thing happened this morning. For no reason what so ever the song "Don't Jump of the Roof Dad" came into my head and I sang it to my significant other., (as you do). "Where did that come from?", she asked. I couldn't remember, so I Googled it.

Although the written lyrics say "Mother's just planted petunias" I seem to recolect that it was sung as "Mum's just planted petunias."

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF DAD (T Cooper)
From: GUEST,Mim
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 06:49 AM

I think this is the complete song - enjoy!

DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF DAD as sung by Tommy Cooper - 1961


VERSE: Daddy came home from work tired.
The boss had been driving him mad.
The kids started fightin'. The dog bit him too.
His dinner was nothing but warmed-over stew.
I guess it was then he decided
Up to the rooftop he'll go.
He was about to jump off when
The kids started howlin' below: "Oh—

CHORUS: Don't jump off the roof, Dad.
You'll make a hole in the yard.
Mother just planted petunias.
The weedin' and seedin' was hard.
If you must end it all, Dad,
Won't you please give us a break?
Just take a walk to the park, Dad,
And there you can jump in the lake.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Peace
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 03:53 AM

Sounds good. It clears up a mystery that was cleared up five years ago.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: GUEST,Laura
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 04:10 AM

can i just say it was by tommy cooper and gene is right, michael douglas is wrong.

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 12 Nov 01 - 06:00 PM

No, not like that, like THAT.

You're right Roger, (And I was half right too.) Tommy Cooper it was. Interesting site here for obscure British 45s.

Murray

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: GUEST,Roger te skiffler
Date: 12 Nov 01 - 08:12 AM

Tommy Cooper certainly recorded it.
RtS ("just like that")

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 12 Nov 01 - 07:08 AM

Yes Martin, that is the tune. And what I am trying to remember is who had the chart hit in Britain with this song in the 60's. It might have been Tommy Cooper, but I don't think so.

Murray

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: GUEST,Martin Ryan
Date: 12 Nov 01 - 05:35 AM

As usual, the tune to sooemthing like this ("Don't jump...)is lurking in the the darkest recesses of my memory. Is it "Sweet Rosie O'Grady"?

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Nov 01 - 07:53 PM

Refresh!

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 09 Sep 01 - 10:35 PM

Oh, thank you so much, Malcolm. Genie

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF DAD (G Keillor)
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 09 Sep 01 - 10:17 AM

You may be interested to know that A Prairie Home Companion is archived at http://www.prairiehome.org/, so you can listen to the shows online. That's where I found the following:

DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF, DAD
(New lyric by Garrison Keillor, 2000)

He came home from work feeling tired,
His boss had been driving him mad.
The kids were fighting, the dog bit him too
And supper was soy loaf and a lima bean stew.
When I started to practice piano,
Up to the rooftop he fled;
He was about to take a swan-dive,
When my dear little sister she said:

Don't jump off the roof, Dad,
You'll just make a mess in the yard.
The petunias are almost in blossom
And Mother's been working so hard!
It'll take us all summer to clean up
The blood and the guts and the gore;
Why not try carbon monoxide?
It's worked for others before.

So Daddy came down from the rooftop,
But Mother had taken the car.
He couldn't take poison, the thought made him sick,
And a BB gun just won't do the trick.
The sleeping pills in the bottle
Were not nearly enough as he'd need;
He grabbed some rope and he headed downstairs,
When my brother started to plead:

Don't hang yourself in the basement, Dad,
The water pipes can't take your weight;
There won't be hot water for showers
And tonight I have a big date.
Why hang yourself in the basement?
It's so much better with gas!
Just stick your head in the oven, Dad,
It's always worked in the past.

So Daddy came up from the basement
And he opened the big oven door,
But Sister was baking a pie, what a shame!
You can't bake a pie if you blow out the flame.
The knives were all dull in the pantry,
The arsenic in low supply;
So he took an electric fan to the bathroom,
When my sister started to cry:

Don't drop a fan in the bathtub, Dad,
It'll probably knock out the power
And "Who wants to be a Millionaire"
Comes on in just half an hour!
We'd die if we had to miss it,
So please won't you give us a break?
Just take a walk to the Park, Dad,
And there you can jump in the lake.

So Daddy went walking down to the Park,
He was planning to jump in the lake;
But before he reached the last act of this drama,
Someone called his name; he turned and saw Mother.
She had a new dress and hairstyle
And the blood all rushed to his head;
What a great night they had, and Daddy was glad
He'd listened to us when we said:

Don't jump off the roof, Dad,
You'll just make a mess in the yard.
The petunias are almost in blossom
And Mother's been working so hard!
It'll take us all summer to clean up
The blood and the guts and the gore;
So I guess you may as well just go on living, Dad,
Others have done it before.
Yes, you may as well just go on living, Dad,
Others have done it before.

Transcribed from an archive recording of A Prairie Home Companion, Saturday, June 17, 2000, (The Fitzgerald Theater, Saint Paul, MN).

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 09 Sep 01 - 04:56 AM

Garrison Keillor wrote at least two more verses to this. Dad tries to do himself in by sticking his head in the oven, at the suggestion of one of the kids, but someone is baking cookies. He tries to use the car's exhaust, but that doesn't work for some reason. Finally, the family just tells him "you might as well just go on living, Dad -- others have done it before." Does anyone have these verses?

Genie

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Jun 98 - 02:34 PM

Robert W. Service? Aw, c'mon, Moira. He can't have written that one. That's a song kids made up, and it has been passed on through the kidfolk tradition.

Sorry I didn't believe you, Moira. I checked, and you were right. The Robert W. Service Home Page has it listed as one of his Twenty Bathtub Ballads (you gotta see this, folks) The Website doesn't have the lyrics posted yet, but apparently it's just a matter of time before they are posted there.

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Bert
Date: 11 Jun 98 - 02:27 PM

Thanks, Gene, Do you have the tune for the verse?

Bert.

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Moira Cameron
Date: 10 Jun 98 - 11:23 PM

You know, I've found the tune to this song, along with the subject matter, fits well with Robert Service's poem/song called the Breadknife Ballad. The chorus goes:

Mother, please don't stab father with the breadknife!
Remember 'twas a gift when you were wed.
But if you must stab father with the breadknife,
Please, mother, use another for the bread!

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF DAD (Homer/Jethro
From: Gene
Date: 05 Jun 98 - 07:13 PM

DON'T JUMP OFF THE ROOF, DAD
Source: Homer & Jethro / Songs My Mother Never Sang

Daddy came home from work tired.
The boss had been drivin' him mad.
The kids started fightin'. The dog bit him, too.
His dinner was nothin' but warmed-over stew.
I guess it was then he decided
Up to the rooftop he'd go.
He was about to jump off, when
The kids started howlin' below:

CHORUS: "Oh, don't jump off of the roof, Dad.
You'll make a dent in the yard.
Mother just planted petunias.
The weedin' and seedin' was hard.
If you must end it all, Dad,
Won't you please give us a break?
Just take a walk to the park, Dad,
And there you can jump in the lake."

Mother soon heard the commotion.
She rushed out to see what it was,
And that's when she saw him perched there on the edge,
Ready to fall with the weight of the sledge.
She let out a scream and yelled, "Sweetheart,
Don't do this terrible deed!"
Then she got down on her knees, and
Tearfully started to plead: CHORUS

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Henry King
Date: 05 Jun 98 - 03:01 PM

Homer and Jethro did this song, but I don't recall any more lyrics.

Subject: RE: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Barry Finn
Date: 05 Jun 98 - 02:09 PM

Sure would like the words & music to this, after falling off a roof last year, while working, & breaking both legs, I've only got "Crooked Jack" & "A Begging I Will Go" to sing for my troubles. That's what the kids tell me now when I leave for anywhere, Dad, don't jump & go break a leg. Barry

Subject: Lyr?? Don't jump off the roof Dad
From: Bert.
Date: 05 Jun 98 - 01:58 PM

That "Flushed" thread reminded me of a song that Jimmy Cooper (The magician) used to sing...

Don't jump off the roof Dad
You'll make a hole in the yard
Mother has planted petunias
The weeding and digging was hard
Don't jump off the roof Dad
You're making a big mistake
Why not go down to the park Dad
There you can jump in the lake.

Does anyone have any more verses to this?

Bert.