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BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!

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InOBU 28 Oct 02 - 11:30 PM
InOBU 28 Oct 02 - 11:31 PM
Lepus Rex 28 Oct 02 - 11:38 PM
Jim Krause 28 Oct 02 - 11:53 PM
Stilly River Sage 29 Oct 02 - 12:06 AM
EBarnacle1 29 Oct 02 - 12:12 AM
RangerSteve 29 Oct 02 - 06:19 AM
Skipper Jack 29 Oct 02 - 07:03 AM
GUEST,jennifer thorp 29 Oct 02 - 07:17 AM
Bullfrog Jones 29 Oct 02 - 08:19 AM
Willie-O 29 Oct 02 - 08:30 AM
Little Hawk 29 Oct 02 - 04:55 PM
GUEST,Hille 29 Oct 02 - 05:02 PM
NicoleC 29 Oct 02 - 05:25 PM
khandu 29 Oct 02 - 05:25 PM
Mark Cohen 30 Oct 02 - 04:27 AM
Steve Parkes 30 Oct 02 - 05:26 AM
InOBU 30 Oct 02 - 07:46 AM
Bat Goddess 30 Oct 02 - 08:21 AM
Steve Parkes 30 Oct 02 - 10:09 AM
Rick Fielding 30 Oct 02 - 11:21 AM
GUEST,MR HOAM, OGIME A. 30 Oct 02 - 12:49 PM
GUEST,iggy folk 30 Oct 02 - 12:58 PM
Charley Noble 30 Oct 02 - 01:19 PM
Amos 30 Oct 02 - 01:21 PM
lamarca 30 Oct 02 - 02:35 PM
Rick Fielding 30 Oct 02 - 02:45 PM
kendall 30 Oct 02 - 03:24 PM
Peter T. 30 Oct 02 - 05:55 PM
Rick Fielding 30 Oct 02 - 05:57 PM
Jeri 30 Oct 02 - 06:21 PM
Bullfrog Jones 31 Oct 02 - 04:23 AM
GUEST,MR HOAM, OGIME A. 31 Oct 02 - 09:21 AM
Little Hawk 31 Oct 02 - 11:58 AM
Mark Clark 31 Oct 02 - 12:48 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 Oct 02 - 01:28 PM
Burke 31 Oct 02 - 03:55 PM
Rick Fielding 31 Oct 02 - 05:17 PM
lamarca 01 Nov 02 - 02:52 PM
leprechaun 01 Nov 02 - 08:38 PM
Rick Fielding 01 Nov 02 - 11:04 PM
momnopp 02 Nov 02 - 12:10 AM
Hrothgar 02 Nov 02 - 01:31 AM
Sorcha 02 Nov 02 - 01:31 AM
Jeri 02 Nov 02 - 08:42 AM
GUEST 02 Nov 02 - 11:31 AM
Rick Fielding 02 Nov 02 - 11:56 AM
GUEST 02 Nov 02 - 12:02 PM
Jeri 02 Nov 02 - 12:12 PM
GUEST 02 Nov 02 - 12:14 PM

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Subject: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: InOBU
Date: 28 Oct 02 - 11:30 PM

NO:1-18 Sani Abacha Close Kano, Nigeria
My Direct Email: m.marim@xxxxx.com


DEAR SIR

I am Mrs Mariam Abacha , wife of the late General Sani
Abacha , former
Nigeria Military Head of State who died as result of
Cardiac arrest.
your name appeared in one of our directories as one of the
companies my late husband wanted to do business with
before he died.
I therefore, decided to contact you in confidence so
that i can be able to move out the sum,US$38, 000,000.00
(Thirty Eight Million United States
Dollars only) which was secretly defaced and sealed in
for bag metal boxes for security reasons. I personally
therefore appeal to you for urgent assistant to move it
into your country where i believe it will safe since i can
not leave the country due to restriction of movement
imposed upon me and members of my family by the
Nigeria Goverment.
The reason is that i want to send my family to you in your
country after this business, i don't want them to receive
the kind of treatment i am receiving here from Nigeria
Government . You can contact me through my direct email:
m.marim@xxxxx.com .
Upon reciept of your responce,
my lawyer (Barrister Precious A. IKEDIA) shall speak
with you towards the effective completion of this
transaction. However ,arrangement have been put in place to
move this money out of the country in batches in secret
vault through diplomatic security company to any West
African Country or Possibly Europe. Conclusively,
I have decided to offer you 25% of the total sum, 5%
will be for whatever expenses that will be incured. Please
reply urgent and treat absolute confidentially and
sincerity.
My dear do not fail to contact me Lawyer through his
addresses e-mail.pprecious3@xxxxx.com, for more
details.


Best regards,


MRS. MARIAM ABACHA
_________________________________________________________
Gagne une PS2 ! Envoie un SMS avec le code PS au 61166
(0,35€ Hors coût du SMS)


Messages from multiple threads combined.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: InOBU
Date: 28 Oct 02 - 11:31 PM

Should we all maybe send condolence letters???? Larry


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 28 Oct 02 - 11:38 PM

Wow, from Mrs.Abacha herself! I usually get some obscure general or senator... Lucky.

---Lepus Rex


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Jim Krause
Date: 28 Oct 02 - 11:53 PM

Surely, no one REALLY thought anyone would fall for this!

But why should I be asking Shirley?

Jim


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 12:06 AM

I was listening to some program on NPR this weekend--I forget which. They said that this scam is the fourth largest industry for Nigeria. It brings in hundreds of millions from gullible Americans alone every year. Hold tight to your pocketbooks!

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 12:12 AM

No one ever expects the Spanish Prisoner!!! Nyah ha ha ha.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 06:19 AM

Can anyone take a lawyer seriously whose first name is Precious? That's got to be one hard name to live up to all your life. Did his parents name all thier kids similarly? (Wonderful, Incredible, Priceless).


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 07:03 AM

And there was me thinking that I was the only one receiving these appeals.

I can't believe that people have actually been taken in by this confidence trick?


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST,jennifer thorp
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 07:17 AM

No, the best one is the one about the cattle vaccine for £5000 dollars a carton from the PR executive who isn't talking to his boss any more after he cut him out of the deal. I wish I hadn't deleted it now, it's a scream. It must be from the same stable but is quite pan-African in scope!

Jennifer


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 08:19 AM

Nice one Larry --- I guess that tops my $25 Million offer, but I think you'll appreciate the poetry ("May his gentle soul rest in prefect (sic) peace")!

BJ

FROM:MR DAVID KUMBA
10 BP 1098 ABIDJAN 10
ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE
TELL 225 0778 7560
DEAR SIR ,


IT IS MY PLEASURE TO WRITE TO YOU AFTER MY MUCH
CONSIDERATION,MY NAME IS DAVID KUMBA THE SON OF
LATE MR NELSON KUMBA FROM KWAZULU-NATAL IN
REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA, I AM 28 YEARS OF AGE, MY
FATHER OWNS A LIMITED LIABILITY COMPANY OF COCOA AND
GOLD IN JOHANESBURG SOUTH AFRICA MY COUNTRY.

AFTER HIS TRIP TO ABIDJAN COTE D'IVIORE TO NEGOTIATE
ON A COCOA AND GOLD BUSINESS HE WANTED TO INVEST IN
ABIDJAN . ONE WEEK HE CAME BACK FROM HIS TRIP TO
ABIDJAN HE HAD A MOTOR ACCIDENT WITH MY SISTER WHICH
MY SISTER DIED INSTANTLY BUT MY FATHER DIED AFTER FIVE
DAYS IN A PRIVATE HOSPITAL IN MY COUNTRY .

IT WAS LIKE MY FATHER KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DIE MAY
HIS GENTLE SOUL REST IN PREFECT PEACE . HE DISCLOSED
TO ME AND MY MOTHER THAT HE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF
($ 25,000,000) TWENTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES
DOLLARS INTO A BANK IN COTE D'IVIORE, THAT THE MONEY
WAS MEANT FOR HIS COCOA AND GOLD BUSINESS HE WANTED TO
ESTABLISH IN ABIDJAN .

MY FATHER HANDED ME THE DOCUMENTS COVERING THE
LODGMENT AND INSTRUCTED ME AND MY MOTHER TO SEEK FOR A
RELIABLE AND TRUST WORTHY BUSINESS PARTNER FOR OUR
LIFE TIME INVESTMENT, THAT IS WHY I DECIDED TO CONTACT
YOU , NOW I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN LOCATING THE BANK HERE
IN ABIDJAN AND I HAVE TOLD THEM OUR PLAN TO LOOK FOR A
FOREIGEN PARTNER WHO WILL ASSIST US IN TRANSFERRING
THE MONEY INTO HIS/HER ACCOUNTS FOR ONWARD INVESTMENT.

NOW I AM SOLICITING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO HELP ME
PROVIDE AN ACCOUNT FACILITY WHERE I CAN TRANSFER THE
MONEY INTO SO THAT WE CAN INVEST IT IN ANY LUCRATIVE
BUSINESS IN YOUR COUNTRY BECAUSE THIS IS MY ONLY HOPE
IN LIFE ,I AND MY MOTHER HAVE PROMISED TO GRATIFY YOU
WITH 15% OF THE TOTAL SUM FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE .

I AM WAITING ANXIOUSLY TO HEAR FROM YOU SO THAT WE CAN
DISCUSS THE MODALITIES OF THIS TRANSACTION YOU CAN
CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY FOR MORE DISCUSSION .

THANKS FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE               

YOURS SINCERELY

MR DAVID AND MOTHER


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Willie-O
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 08:30 AM

It's generically referred to as "Nigerian scam" but the better efforts make reference to whatever African instability is recently in the news. The last one I got, from Mrs Victoria Komo, (wife of "former opposition election candidate now in jail") used Mugabe-evicting-the-white-farmers in Zimbabwe as its hook.

Of course, I leapt at the opportunity and am now finally rolling in U.S. dollars.

W-O


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 04:55 PM

I simply ignore all Nigerian offers that are under 28 Billion Dollars, with a 25% cut offered. I've got no time to fool around with pitiful amounts like $38,000,000... :>)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST,Hille
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 05:02 PM

What I do is cut n paste out a selection and send them back suggesting there's a Finance Officer / Administrator / ex-President in Sierra Leone / Senegal /Nigeria / Cameroon etc and maybe they help each other out ...


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: NicoleC
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 05:25 PM

I heard an interview with one one these guys (anonymously), supposedly reformed and had decided that this wasn't right. At home, it was simply referred to as the "family business," and yes, they made MILLIONS. It's serious business composing letters with just the right misspellings and grammar errors...

It's a brilliant scam. There's always folks that want to get something for nothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: khandu
Date: 29 Oct 02 - 05:25 PM

I got the emial from Ms. Abacha. I responded. I told her that I would be glad to help her and her family; however, I am tied up in a deal that prevents me from acting immediately. I must first resolve this deal, which means coming up with $100,000.00, then I will do everything possible to help. If she could send me the $100,000, I can resolve this immediately, and therefore be able to get right on her problem.

I have not yet received the money.

khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 04:27 AM

Did you tell her you accept PayPal?

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 05:26 AM

I got one from someone claiming to be "HM Inspector of Taxes". I've read it trwice (no mean feat) and I still can't see where I supposedly get rich.

Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: InOBU
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 07:46 AM

STEVE!!! I got one just like that from the Internal Revenue Service (Federal)! But, I can do you one better! I got one from the state and city as well! Thank God I am not an Indian, or I would likely get one from my tribe as well! Cheers Larry


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 08:21 AM

I got mine from Mrs. Sese Seko:

I AM MRS. SESE-SEKO WIDOW OF LATE PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO OF ZAIRE?NOW KNOWN AS DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO (DRC). I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOUTHIS LETTER, THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING MY PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND
SITUATION.

Such a sad, sad story . . . ;-)

Linn


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 10:09 AM

Maybe we should try and put all these wealthy Africans in touch with each other: if their massed millions can't bribe their way out, my faith in Human Nature (Frailties Division) will be sorely dented!

Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 11:21 AM

Damn you Larry!

Here I thought that despite earning less than a professional Gerbil milker, and spending what spare cash I DO have on Martin guitars with twinkly gold and pearl accessories....DESPITE a lifetime of difficulties with Banks and other financial institutions (after all, having to ask your dead Mother to co-sign for a loan can be humiliating)....Despite being lower on the respect food chain than pickpockets, politicians, lawyers (sorry!!) and banjo-joke writers....

......FINALLY, I thought SOMEONE was trusting my financial accumen, and recognizing that I've never actually BEEN thrown into debtor's prison.....

....and you tell me it's a scam!!

Ahh the Sorrow, ahh the pity.

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST,MR HOAM, OGIME A.
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 12:49 PM

DEAR MR FIELDING SIR,

IT IS MY HAPPINESS TO WRITE TO YOU AFTER MY MUCH
CONSIDERATION, MY NAME IS OGIME A. HOAM THE SON OF
LATE MR AINGOTTE A. HOAM WHO, IN THIS WORLD, LIVED AT THE ISLAND NATION OF TITTIEBUMME IN THE CAPITAL CITY OF BUMME. I AM 28 YEARS OF OLD, MY FATHER OWNS A VERY MUCH RARE GUITARRE COLLECTION. MR HOAM'S HORDE IS HOUSED IN THE UNITED STATES.

AFTER HIS TRIP TO GOFISCHE TO NEGOTIATE ON A MARMITE PLANTATION HE WANTED TO INVEST IN GOFISCHE. ONE WEEK HE CAME BACK FROM HIS TRIP TO
THERE, A METEORRE FELL ON HIM AND MY SISTER AND MY WIFE. SHE DIED INSTANTLY BUT MY FATHER DIED AFTER FIVEDAYS IN A PRIVATE HOSPITAL IN MY COUNTRY.

IT WAS LIKE MY FATHER KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DIE MAY HIS GENTLE SOUL REST IN PREFECT PEACE . HE DISCLOSED TO ME THE SECRET LOCATION OF THE GUITTARRES, WHICH ENCLUDE A FEW LAKSINS INLAID WITH GOLD AND JEWELLS AND PRE-WAR MARTINS IN PERFECT CONDITION. MY FATHER HANDED ME THE DOCUMENTS COVERING THE HOARDE'S LOCATION AND INSTRUCTED ME AND MY MOTHER TO SEEK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUST WORTHY BUSINESS PARTNER FOR OUR LIFE TIME INVESTMENT, THAT IS WHY I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU, NOW I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN CONTACTING THE OWNERS OF THE PLANTATION AND I HAVE TOLD THEM OUR PLAN TO LOOK FOR A FOREIGEN PARTNER WHO WILL ASSIST US IN SELLING THE GUITTARRSE AND TRANSFERRING THE MONEY INTO HIS/HER ACCOUNTS TOWARD PURCHASE OF THE PROPERTY.

NOW I AM SOLICITING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO HELP ME PROVIDE A PLACE WHERE TO TRANSFER THE GUITARRE COLLECTION SO THEY CAN BE SOLD SO WE CAN INVEST IN THE MARMITE PLANTATION BECAUSE THIS IS MY ONLY HOPE IN LIFE, WE ONLY ASK THAT YOU DEPOSITE A MARTIN OR LAKSIN GUITARRE OR PERHAPS A REID MANDOLINNE SHAPED LIKE A PEAR WITH FINS (THIS SHAPE IS WORSHIPPED IN TITTIEBUMME AS BEING BLESSED BY OUR GODDESS, GRAVITATIA) AND WE WILL IN RETURN, GRATIFY YOURSELF WITH TWO RARE GUITARRES FROM OUR COLLECTION FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE .

I AM WAITING ANXIOUSLY TO HEAR FROM YOU SO THAT WE CAN DISCUSS THE MODALITIES (my guess is that would be the ironian mode) OF THIS TRANSACTION YOU CAN CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY FOR MORE DISCUSSION.

THANKS FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE               

YOURS SINCERELY

MR OGIME AND MOTHER, GIMMETOU


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST,iggy folk
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 12:58 PM

I just discovered this place. This is *very* funny!


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 01:19 PM

Thanks be that there are no such offers of S.S. Stewart banjos.

Charley Noble, dashing off to deposit his check for $9.5 mILLION!


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 01:21 PM

ROTFLMAO, Guest Mister Hoame, Sir!! For once I think you have found the right mark!! LOL!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: lamarca
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 02:35 PM

Well, nanny, nanny boo-boo - MY latest letter came from a jinuwine PRINCE! I've been having great fun passing these letters on to a Detective in the NIH Police, who's making a collection of Nigerian scam letters sent to NIH email addresses and passing them along to someone in the FBI (where he thinks they go into a circular file...) The detective told me about one elderly woman who gave these creeps $85,000, and didn't want any help from the Feds -she said she expected to get her share of the money any day...Our detective said he was sorely tempted to email the senders back a particularly nasty computer virus...

FROM:PRINCE MOYO SITHOLE
TEL: +27-73-179-4630

DEAR LAMARCA,

               SRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

YOU MAY BE SURPRISED TO RECEIVE THIS LETTER FROM MESINCE YOU DO NOT KNOW ME PERSONALLY.I AM PRINCE MOYO SITHOLE,THE FIRST SON OF CHIEF DAN SITHOLE WHO WAS RECENTLY MURDERED IN THE COURSE OF THE LAND DISPUTE IN ZIMBABWE.

IN MY EARNEST SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE COMPANY / INDIVIDUAL WHO CAN HANDLE A FINANCIAL TRANSACTION OF A LARGE MAGNITUDE IN YOUR COUNTRY,I GOT RESPONSE IN YOUR FAVOUR AMONG OTHERS FROM THE CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY HERE IN JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA, SO I
DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU FIRST.

BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY FATHER, HE HAD TAKEN ME TO JOHANNESBURG TO DEPOSIT THE SUM OF TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$20,000,000.00)IN A PRIVATE SECURITY COMPANY HERE IN JOHANNSEBURG,AS IF HE FORESAW THE LOOMING DANGER IN OUR COUNTRY ZIMBABWE.THIS MONEY WAS DEPOSITED AS GEM STONES TO AVOID MUCH TAX FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY.THIS MONEY WAS MEANT FOR THE PURCHASE OF NEW MACHINERY,EQUIMENTS AND CHEMICALS FOR THE FARMS AND ESTABLISHMENT OF A NEW FARM IN RELATIVELY POLITICAL/ECONOMICALLY STABLE SWAZILAND.THIS LAND PROBLEM STARTED WHEN ZIMBABWEAN PRESIDENT,MR.ROBERT MUGABE INTRODUCED A NEW LAND REFORM ACT WHICH WHOLLY AFFECTED THE RICH WHITE FARMERS AND SOME FEW RICH BLACK FARMERS.IN FACT A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE KILLED BECAUSE OF THIS LAND REFORM OF WHICH MY LOVELY FATHER WAS ONE OF THE VICTIMS.IT IS ON THIS BACKGROUND THAT I AND MY FAMILY WHO ARE CURRENTLY RESIDING IN SOUTH AFRICA AS POLITICAL ASYLUM SEEKERS DECIDED TO TRANSFER MY FATHERíS MONEY TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY SINCE THE LAW OF SOUTH AFRICA PROHIBITS REFUGEES/ASSYLUM SEEKERS FROM OPERATING A BANK ACCOUNT OR GETTING INVOLVED IN HUGE FINANCIAL TRANSACTIONS.

AS THE ELDEST SON OF MY FATHER,I AM SADDLED WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY OF SEEKING A GENIUNE FOREIGN ACCOUNT WHERE THIS MONEY COULD BE TRANSFERRED INTO WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF MY GOVERNMENT WHO IS BENT ON TAKING EVERYTHING.

ALL I SEEK FOR IS AN HONEST BUSINESSMAN,WHOM I CAN TRUST FOR MY FUTURE AND THAT OF MY FAMILY.THIS TRNSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE.IF YOU ACCEPT TO ASSIST ME AND MY FAMILY,ALL I WANT FROM YOU IS FOR YOU TO MAKE ARRANGMENT AND COME TO SOUTH AFRICA,SO THAT YOU CAN HELP ME OPEN A NON-RESIDENT ACCOUNT IN YOUR NAME WHICH WILL AID US IN TRANSFERRING THE MONEY TO ANY
ACCOUNT YOU WILL NOMINATE OVERSEAS.I INTEND TO USE THIS MONEY FOR INVESTMENT IN YOUR COUNTRY.I HAVE TWO OPTIONS FOR YOU,FIRSTLY YOU CAN CHOOSE TO HAVE CERTAIN PERCENTAGE OF THE MONEY FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND ALSO FOR NOMINATING YOUR ACCOUNT IN THIS TRANSACTION,OR YOU CAN GO INTO PARTNERSHIP WITH ME FOR THE PROPER PROFITABLE INVESTMENT OF THE MONEY IN YOUR COUNTRY.WHICH EVER OPTION YOU WANT,FEEL FREE TO NOTIFY ME.I HAVE ALSO MAPPED OUT 5% OF THIS MONEY FOR ANY EXPENSES THAT WE MIGHT INCURE IN THE PROCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION. IF YOU DO NOT PREFER A PARTNERSHIP I AM WILLING TO GIVE YOU 15% OF THE MONEY WHILE THE REMAINING 80% WILL REMAIN FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.IF YOU ARE REALLY CAPABLE AND WILLING TO ASSIST ME,PLEASE CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY WITH THE ABOVE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS.

PLEASE KEEP THIS MESSAGE VERY CONFIDENTIAL. FINALLY,PLEASE TREAT THIS MATTER AS URGENT AS
POSSIBLE,I AM DESPERATE TO LEAVE THIS COUNTRY SOONEST.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

I EXPECT YOUR RESPONSE SOONEST.

BEST REGARDS AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

PRINCE MOYO SITHOLE
(FOR THE FAMILY).


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 02:45 PM

Jeesus Friggin Keer*****! Sorry for the profanity, but I'm laffin so hard I'm almost on the floor!

Mr. "Oh Gimme A Home"

I KNOW you're not supposed to explain a joke, but I HAD to do that for those not familiar with Catspaw's (or Marion's or McGrath's or Clinton's) sense of humour.

Brilliant.

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: kendall
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 03:24 PM

Precious? wasn't that the name of some slimy lizard in The Hobbit?


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Peter T.
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 05:55 PM

Mr. Ahome, you are a master, whoever you are. The misspellings alone had me in laughpain. Where do we send the money?
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 05:57 PM

Hmmmmmmm, Duckboots just said that OGimie Ahoam is probably JERI! Ahahh! I think she's right.....who knows I've got a Glen Reid Mandolin?

Still chuckling......but what REALLY amazes me is that you Mary, were actually RECOMMENDED by South Africa as an honest businessman! That's clout!

Cheers

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Oct 02 - 06:21 PM

MOI? RICK, THAT'S REALLY...whoops. Rick, everybody knows you have it because there was a thread about Glen Reid and his instruments and you said so.

I'm afraid I save things like chain letters and petitions. Call me strange, but I think the chain letters are a form of internet folklore. It's interesting to track them and see how they change from year to year. I had about 4 copies of this scam in different versions but somehow managed to delete them.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 04:23 AM

Absolutely brilliant! Will the author please own up, so that we may bow obeisance?

BJ


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST,MR HOAM, OGIME A.
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 09:21 AM

DEAR LAMARCA,

PRINCE SHITHOLE IS ONE WHO LOSES. WORD IN THE GRAPEVINE IS THAT HIS FAMILY INVESTED IN THE BASS GUITARRE MARKET AND THE BOTTOM FELL OUT. DO NOT RELINQUISH YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY TO THIS LOW LIFE FEEDER ON BOTTOMS!

DEAR MR CHARLEY NOBLE,

MY COUSIN HAD A COLLECTION OF BANJOES WHICH HE TRIED TO DISTRIBUTE AND SELL MUCH THE SAME WAY I TRY WITH OUR GUITARRES. HE NOW HAS 27,051 BANJOS. MY FATHER MR AINGOTTE A. HOAM WAS MORE SHREWED THAN MY COUSIN NOBBO D. HOAM WHO LIVES ON THE MOUNTAIN RANGE. THEY SAY HE NEVER HEARS A DISCOURAGING WORD BUT I THINK HE JUST DOES NOT LISTEN.

UPON FARTHER CONSIDERATION WE HAVE DECIDED WE WILL ALSO ACCEPT 12 STRUNG GUITARRES MADE BY MR APPOLONIO. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE. IF YOU EVER VISIT TITTIEBUMME PLEASE VISIT OUR HOME AND BE LIBERATED TO WALK RIGHT IN!


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 11:58 AM

LOL!!! Great thread. "Precious" was the name Gollum gave to the One Ring, kendall.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Mark Clark
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 12:48 PM

I sit here weeping with laughter trying to find my keyboard through the tears. Thanks Mr. HOAM whoever you are.

      - Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 01:28 PM

My 14-year-old daughter has discovered my link to Mudcat and enjoys reading some of these. I'll let her take a gander at this one this evening! Great stuff.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Burke
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 03:55 PM

Oh Hoam, ROTFLOL!!!

I usually delete these letters unread, but after this thread I decided to look more closely.

Here's a really interesting person:
I am the son of the late Henri Kembe Kabongo (a
foremost human rights activist in the Democratic
Republic of Congo).... In fact, he
was at one time rated among the first five richest
Congolese businessmen by one of the leading business
magazines in my country.

How many human rights activists do you know worth $28 million? I think I'll send an e-mail suggesting there might be better uses for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 31 Oct 02 - 05:17 PM

OK, cat's out of the bag....our African friend could ONLY be our own Peter T!

After all, if it isn't Peter it must be someone with an AMAZING sense of humour. Truly a comic genius. Now I know SOME (at least one anyway) of you are probably sayin' "Rick, it's gotta be you"!! Well gosh....I wish, but no, I'm afraid not....I swear on my mother's grave it ain't me. Nope, only Peter has the skills to be THAT good!

Give us more, Mr. T!

Cheers

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: lamarca
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 02:52 PM

I was reading about the Nigerian scam on snopes.com (one of my favorite websites), and they had a link to an article on the poeticism and enchanting language of some of these letters by Douglas Cruikshank, of salon.com. It's a great article - you can read it here:

http://archive.salon.com/people/feature/2001/08/07/419scams/print.html


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: leprechaun
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:38 PM

I hope Prince Precious will let me invest. I could use the profit to pay for one of those penis enlargement offers.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 11:04 PM

Now here's the thing that boggles my mind. At NO point have I told ANYBODY on the net that I'm in a need of a more impressive penis....and yet, like you Leprechaun, they flood my e-mail with the methods to achieve this. What I wanna know is WHO have they been talkin' to?!

Cheers

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: momnopp
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:10 AM

OGIME A. HOAM -- my sides hurt from giggling. Thank you!!!!!!!!!

Love,
JudyO


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Hrothgar
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 01:31 AM

I know of a solicitor from a respected Brisbane legal family who was given three years (or was it five?) for ripping off his clients' money because he was gullible enough to get sucked into one of these rorts.

The score was, if I remember correctly, about $9.6 million Australian (maybe $5.3m US).

Maybe it's what he deserved for greed, but it's not all that funny.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Sorcha
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 01:31 AM

Oh jayzus! I haven't laffed this hard for months! Thanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 08:42 AM

I only seem to get spam for things I don't need.

Penis enlargement. If I used their product, would I sprout one? I mean, I don't really want one - my clothes would fit funny and I'd have to learn Peeing 101 - but I'd probably make a load of money on talk shows.

Hair growth stuff. If I part my hair at the point, I look like Cousin It. (I used to do that when I was a kid and the Addams Family was first-run.) If I took that stuff, I'd probably wind up looking like a tribble with extremities.

Stock tips. How can I invest when I don't have any money. Maybe they'll send me money if I explain nicely.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 11:31 AM

No, it is not me, I bow to whoever it is.

yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 11:56 AM

C'mon Peter it MUST be you! Hey jeri don't you agree?!

Just this Morning a civil servant from South Africa offered me a chance to hide thirty six million bucks in 'an account of my choice'. Hee, hee, heee......The dumbass thinks I'll give him 85 percent of it when he comes here to collect his share. Not a chance. I MIGHT pay his cabfare.....but........I've been wanting that Bill Monroe mandolin for a while, and I think my new 36 mil. might take care of it!

Cheers

Rick (who is trusted by all sorts of illiterate foreign Nationals....are you?)


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:02 PM

DEAR SIRE, PRINCE OR MADAM,

         I AM WRITING ON BEHALF OF A GROUP OF ARTISTS WHO HAVE BEEN SUPREMELY TOUCHED BY YOUR NEED FOR ASSISTANCE, AND, RECOGNISING THAT THE MODALITIES OF OBTAINING WHAT IS CERTAINLY THE MONIES THAT ARE DUE TO YOU, AND ALSO LETTING YOU KNOW IN THE MOST HONEST OF WAYS POSSIBLY, THAT WE ARE IN NEED OF RESOURCES OURSELFES, WE HAVE A COUNTERPROPOSITION TO MAKE YOU.

        SOME YEARS AGO, UNDER THE THEN OPPRESSIVE CLINTONIAN REGIME OF THE TIME, A GROUP OF FOLK MUSICIANS, CONCERNED FOR THE EROSION OF BEAUTY AND COMMUNITY WORLDWIDE, POOLED THEIR RESOURCES AND BEGAN "THE MUDCAT CAFE AND FORUM" DEDICATED IN PART TO THE BLUES.   MUCH OF THESE RESOURCES WERE PLACED IN 1996 IN THE CARE AND KEEPING OF THE INTERNATIONAL WORLD WIDE WEB FOUNDATION. YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF THIS ORGANIZATION, WHICH WAS CONNECTED TO MR. TIM BERNERS-LEE, AND WAS INSTURMENTAL IN ESTABLISHING THE INTERNET. AT THAT TIME, THE INTERNET WAS SMALL, BUT HAS AS YOU MAY KNOW ACHIEVED EXPONENTIAL GROWTH OVER THE LAST SIX YEARS. PART OF THE DEAL WAS THAT THE MONEY WE HAD DEPOSITED WITH THE WWW FOUNDATION WOULD BE USED TO SUPPORT THE BLUEING OF THE INTERNET, BEGINNING WITH THE LINKS TO OTHER SITES, WHICH AT THE BEGINNING OF THE INTERNET, WERE BLACK. OUR PROJECT, ENTITLED "WHAT DID WE DO TO GET FROM BLACK TO BLUE?" EACH TIME A BLUE LINK IS MADE ON THE INTERNET, THE MUDCAT CAFE WAS SUPPOSED TO RECEIVE 0.1 CENT AMERICAN OF ROYALITES. THIS DOES NOT SEEM LIKE MUCH, BUT GIVEN THE EXTRORDINARY INTERNET BOOMERING THAT FUND IS NOW WORTH 35 MILLION DOLLARS AMERICAN.   
        A YEAR AGO, OUR LAWYERS, PATTERSON, LANE, FIELDING, AND SWAN, RECEIVED THE FIRST INSTALLMENT OF THESE FUNDS, TO THE SUMS OF 10   MILLION DOLLARS, AND, TO OBTAIN THE BEST RETURN, OUR CRACKERJACK LAWYERS DEPOSITED THESE MONEYS INTO THE COLLEGE FUND OF THREE ADOPTEES OF THE MUDCAT, REG, REG, AND REG. UNFORTUNATELY, NONE OF THESE THREE ADOPTEES ARE ABLE TO WRITE, EXCEPT TO MAKE YELLOW MARKS IN THE SNOW IN WAYS WE ARE UNABLE TO DESCRIBE IN GENTLEMANLY FASHION.   ATTEMPTS HAVE BEEN MADE TO WITHDRAW FUNDS BY SHOWING SNAPSHOTS OF THESE SIGNATURES, WITHOUT SUCCESS. QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN RAISED BY THE EMPOVERISHED FOLK MUSICIANS AS TO WHEN THE FUNDS WILL BEGIN TO BE DISPERSED, AND CONFIDENTIALLY THE MUDCAT LAWYERS HAVE ASKED ME TO LOCATE "BRIDGING FUNDS" UNTIL THE BEGINNING OF 2003, WHEN THE NEXT TRANCHE OF MONEY WILL COME IN AND QUESTIONS WILL NO LONGER BE ASKED AS ALL FOLK PERSONS HERE WILL BE ROLLING IN LARGE DOCES OF MOOLAH.
        HERE IS THE PROPOSITION: WE WILL BE WILLING TO SUPPORT YOUR ABIJAN PROJECT, IF YOU WILL PROVIDE US FROM THE ANTICIPATED REVENUES THE BRIDGING SUM OF 5 MILLION DOLLARS (NOTICE THAT THIS IS HALF OF WHAT IS NEEDED, BUT FOLK MUSICIANS CANNOT COUNT PAST 4/4 ANYWAY.   UPON RECEIPT, WE WILL IMMEDIATLEY AND IN GOOD FAITH PARTICIPATE AS REQUESTED, FURTHER, WE WILL BE PREPARED TO SEND YOU 7 MILLION DOLLARS FROM THE EXPECTED REVENUES IN 2003, THUS GIVING YOU A SUBSTANTIAL PROFIT OVER AND ABOVE THE EXPECTED REVENUES OF YOUR PROJECT.

        YOU MAY CONTACT ME THROGUH THE MUDCAT, OR CONTACT OUR LAWYERS DIRECTLY AND CONFIDENTIALLY AT WWW. MUDCAT.CA. IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU COULD PUT IN AS MANY BLUE CLICKIES AS POSSIBLE AS WE GET CENTS FROM EACH ONE. THE BLUE CLICKIES SHOULD DIRECT US TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, AND WE WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT.

        WE ARE DESPERATELY AWAITING YOUR KIND REPLY.

YOURS,

MOTHER MUDCAT


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: Jeri
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:12 PM

Rick, I'd think Peter would have done the 'Black Jack Whassisface' version, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: the BEST!!! Nigerian scam letter yet!
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:14 PM

(Actually, the last one is from me -- NONE OF THE REST. It is sort of fun once you get into it). yours, Peter T.


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