BS: Murder in the Chat Room

Subject: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: GUEST,George Dixon
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:29 PM

Murder in the Chat room.

Report of Sergeant Dixon

At approximately 2100 hrs GMT on the 1st November 2002 I was called to attend at the Mudcat Chat room.

The body of a male of indeterminate age was found in a "Jacuzzi", along with and electrical heater.

Subsequent examination revealed that this heater had been unbolted from the wall of the bar room and placed in the Jacuzzi.

A post mortem examination revealed that the deceased a Mr Oakley had died of heart failure brought on by Electric Shock. Further analysis revealed that Mr Oakley's blood alcohol level was well over that necessary to obtain a conviction under the Road Traffic Act. His stomach contents revealed the deceased had imbibed some quantity of Breakspears Original Ale. There was minor bruising to the head, as if he had fallen previously. These bruises were in the opinion of the Police Surgeon not sever enough to have altered his state of awareness.

The deceased was naked.

No dying statement from the deceased could be found.

Examination of the Chat room revealed that the Heater had been unbolted by at least two people. The 13 amp fuse had been replaced by a nail, destroying the primary safety cut out on an overload.

Further enquiries revealed that the deceased was a member of the folk group Punch the Horse, and employed as the "fiddler". Despite this information no financial irregularities could be found.

Examination of the deceased clothing revealed a small quantity of Brussels Sprouts.

That is all the preliminary enquiries reveal.

Any assistance to this enquiry may be given on this thread. Those who were in the Chat room must have seen what happened. I would prefer to solve this one without requesting the assistance of Scotland Yard.

George Dixon P/Sgnt

Well Mudcatters there you have it. There were 13 catters present in the room. Surely someone must have seen a clue.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Leadfingers
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:33 PM

my lips are sealed

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:40 PM

I wanna see my brief.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:41 PM

Had the batteries been removed from the brussel sprouts?

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:47 PM

I'd look after his acquaintances and ask who was out to end the PTH threads! I mean there's been plenty of grousing about them, though those who keep posting them seem bent on taking the piss out of all and sundry about it as often as possible, so could be they brought it on themselves? Plenty of clues/clews in the various threads!

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: harpmaker
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:48 PM

its his fiddle, getting its own back.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Gareth
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:49 PM

Hmmm ! Brussells Sprouts is also Uk Slang For Boy Scouyt

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 07:55 PM

See, I just had a feeling. You find a Boy Scout with batteries in his pocket and you're half way there.

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Morticia
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:12 PM

It wuz nuthin to do wiv me, yer 'onour and anyway,you can't prove nuthin.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:18 PM

Oh, that's ral helpful. Ya gotta couple of wacko Boy Scouts who not only snuffed the dude with electirc brussel spouts but are now walkin' arounf helping old ladies cross streets with the evidence in their pockets and Morticia leaps from the mob to declare innocence. I'm sniffin' a conspiracy here, myself. Ther old decoy trick...

Yo Morticia, you go a newphew in the Boy Socuts? Hmmmmm? You might want to call your attorney before answering this question.

Bobert Columbo

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Morticia
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:21 PM

I wuz merely partakin' of a few small libations wiv one or two of me mates,guv, and I didn't see nuthin....( well, except that Gareth had a large screwdriver in his pocket or was very pleased to see someone)

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Morticia
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:26 PM

Oh, and you might want to ask who gave him false directions to the Gents and refused to warn him about that dodgy step......that's all I'm saying.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Gareth
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:31 PM

Obvously the Bromide wasn't working.

But P/snt Dixon says the Fire was "Unbolted".

The false step may explain the contusions to the head.

No doubt George Dixon is working on his list of who was there, and the motive.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: mooman
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:35 PM

The fact I'm from Brussels has nothing to do with it.....honest....

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:40 PM

Oh no! Oakleaf murdered in the chatroom just before Punch The Horse was scheduled to begin its megatour of American non-appearances! They were supposed to not play at the Omni in Atlanta, then not appear at Madison Square Garden, and wrap it up with a grand finale non-appearance at the Hollywood Bowl. What a tragedy for fans of empty arenas everywhere! Sniff, snorple, subb, zubb and other sounds of mourning.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: kendall
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:48 PM

It was on fire when I laid down on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Noreen
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:53 PM

*sniff*
Oh my lovely Oakley... I go away for a couple of days and you are so distraught that you take the final action, in our trysting place...
*sigh*

(where's me blanket, hey?)

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: smallpiper
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:54 PM

Its a lie a damm lie oakley would have told me if he was ded. And that p/sgt dixon is a bent coppa anyways coz I saw im get shot so there. Where's me passport - although I had nowt to do wi any aligid crimes and I have a solid aliby - I was drunk in charge of a video thi scan be attested to by the bottle of old git wot I drunk.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 08:56 PM

Wrong directions! Just because he went around the LEFT of the pin ball machines instead of the RIGHT - fercrisake I'm a YANK! how was I to know he would 'stay left' - so I told dim the second door - but he was coming at it from the wrong direction, which made it the first door.

Besides which - it couldn't have been me - I was at work.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: rangeroger
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 09:03 PM

As an electrician, I know that a nail is a solid-state overcurrent device.

rr

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Chip2447
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 09:18 PM

It was Jessica Fletcher from the "Murder she wrote" Tv series...I'm telling you that ole lady is a mastermind of criminal intent...Every place she goes, some one dies, and she always seems to pass it off on some unsuspecting chump. Its her and her accomplice Matlock I tell ya.

Chip2447

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: harpmaker
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 09:25 PM

"C" (middle) does not sound the same when Iam at seaside (funny wav's)but we are 2 pigs, & half head sheep of a blanket PS. Can't the yanks be threadcreeps. OOhhhhh

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: harpmaker
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 09:29 PM

its not like us brits you know

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 09:48 PM

Did I get that right? Kendall laid a Boy Scout with a battery operated llama???? And then Rangeroger nailed him with an electrical device? Him Kendall or him Boy Scout?
I have obviously been away from the threads too long.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 10:03 PM

It wasn't me, I wasn't in there--honest! Thank god it wasn't skipjack!!

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 10:36 PM

Boy, while a couple of cross dressin' Boy Scouts are getting away with the evidence in their pockets (No, not screwdrivers and they ain't happy to see no one, thnak you...) Kendall's llama fetish becomes the topic of the hour? Hmmmmmmm? Even Watkin's just rolled over in his grave....

I have figured out one thing about you horse and llame punchers... ain't no real cops in your bunch fir one and you all couldn't catch the flue in a sick ward...

Greg Stevens told me not to mess with you nutballs and, well, Gregster was right...

Ahhhhh, well maybe not nutballs. That's probably a tad strong a label. How's folks who suffer from poly-morphis perverse guilt sound?
Better? I thought so...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 10:44 PM

There is no such thing as thread creep in any thread having to do with Punch the Horse or any of its members, alive or deceased. Drivel is, by definition, uncreepable.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Crane Driver
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 10:50 PM

Phew - glad I've been away for the last week! Is it safe to go back in the chat room? Was it ever safe? They punch horses, do they? What the Hull?

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: alison
Date: 01 Nov 02 - 11:00 PM

why did they need the heater in the jacuzzi anyway? it was hot the other day when myself and 8 fellas were in there with the whiskey and chocolate mudcake!!... *grin*


someone must have let it get cold!!

slaint

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Hrothgar
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 01:11 AM

Now, if he had graduated from unplugged music to unplugged heaters he would be with us still!

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: songs2play
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 04:03 AM

The Butler dun it.
Aledgidley

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Jeanie
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 04:11 AM

Aha ! So is this why chatroom resident caretaker Mr. Happy keeps (in his own words) "poping in and out for a coughie" - Is he hoping to divert attention from his evil deeds by creating total confusion ? "Mr. Happy is away" - "Mr. Happy is back" - "Mr. Happy has logged out" - "Mr. Happy has entered the room" - all within the space of 1 minute. I suggest you get a detailed statement from him, Sgt. Dixon.

I think we can safely say that the butler didn't do it. Or can we ?

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 04:40 AM

As an uninvolved, dispassionate bystander, I can assure you that once you find out what 'poping' is, you will have your man. (Of course, that does depend on what is meant by is.)

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: songs2play
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 04:43 AM

The Butler has PM'd me to say that he didn't do it.
He has an alibi
He was in the Queen's Arms at the time of the incident.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 04:51 AM

Well gee officer, I might have seen something.... perhaps we could come to some arrangement? (flutter flutter, simper simper....)

I can tell you it wasn't me... I had no clothes on, there was nowhere to hide a screwdriver....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: GUEST,Oakley's Ghost
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 04:58 AM

OOOOOOOhhh OOOOOOhhh etc. It is very strange, being here with Elvis and all me new mates. I hold no grudges against the murdering bastards what done for me last night, but I think that a little light haunting might be the order of day, Leadfingers and Snogs.

Does anyone want to know tonight's Lotto numbers? I am now off to hover benignly above Sireen's bed with Cliff Michelmore and Percy Shaw who invented catseyes.

OOOOOOhhhhh, ooooooooooooo etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: smallpiper
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 05:33 AM

oh bugger now we have to do an exocism...... I tell you bouy scouts have a lot to answer for. Who was that there priest guy in the filum wot got shot of the divil in the girl he's our man! (or should we settle for a pint of plain?)

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Noreen
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 05:58 AM

That explains the odd dream I had... three men hovering around my bed (not that unusual really...)

Try and find some more interesting / tuneful company next time please, Acorn ole buddy?

Distraught and pining Sireen

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Gareth
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 06:46 AM

Hmmm ! Nice to see that Oakley's Ghost has entered into the spirit of things.

But for exocism, I suggest we try sprinkling the Chatrrom with "WATNEYS" - It's the nearest thing to unholy water I can find.

Gareth

A Question Mr Dixon - would an Amercan know enuf to replace a 13 amp fuse with a nail ? Find the Catter with high performance cutters, or a hack saw and you may be near the culprit.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: sian, west wales
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 07:33 AM

Face it: this is never going to be solved without bringing in Fibula Mattock, aka Indiannette Jones, Girl Archeologistical Detective. She's our only hope.

sian

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 08:34 AM

Oh my darling Oaklet how I will miss you and your cake!!!

Anyway your 'onour....I was nekkid too just got out to get more Moet from the fridge.....no where to hide a screwdriver and I didn't nuffin.

Cat.....

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 08:42 AM

Aha!!!! If you will take a moment to peruse the names of those posting to this thread, you will notice the blatant absence of the names of not one, but two Yank chat room denizens. Namely, TWEED and ART BROOKS. Why have they not weighed in? Do they have something to hide? This is starting to smell of conspiracy. Possible CIA involvement? The makings of a scandal that could bring down the entire Bush administration????!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 09:00 AM

I think he went into the ladies by mistake, and they; being girlies, have a heater on the wall. Well boys being boys, he thought he'd play the old "how far up the wall can you pee", and forgot the aforesaid electrical appliance was there. When the golden rain hit the bars it shorted out, and in the process the bolts holding it on to the wall blew out. In the process the current made his goolies turn green, which accounts for the electrically charged brussel sprouts, found in his pocket.
I therefore submitmit to you Sgt. Dixon that it was suicide, and not murder.

Inspector Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Tweed
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 09:07 AM

I had no part in this one, I'm innocent and you'll find that I've missed every one of the debaucherous jacuzzi parties, and the sight of those volupshuz MudChicks bubbling seductively in their birthday suits. Matter of fack I was in surgery gittin my privvits stitched back together after them crazy gals in there got done wif em the other nite. Watch out fer them MudWimmen, they shore do look good and they have an appetite fer the bizarre!

When does yore Inspector Lestrade intend to return the vat of iniquity? I need to git hooked up with Liz and the rest of them nekkid sireens soon as I heal up summat.
hmmmm.....reminds me of a scene in a movie I seen recent where some gals by a creek seduced sum travelers and put 'em all to sleep for a while....naw, thar couldn't be no connection could there?

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: GUEST,George Dixon
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 09:38 AM

Interim report by P/Sgnt George Dixon

Investigations have continued.

First of All Motive

Possible cruelty to Animals – Punching Horses indeed, and a fiddler, could some cat be seeking revenge for one of it's relatives ending up highly strung. – This is only a gut feeling.

The late Mr Oakley was notorious for serving large quanties of sweet cakes and biscuits. Could some overweight visitor to the Chat Room be seeking to cut of supply at origin.

Mr Oakley was also noted for his serving of short measure – Are CAMRA retaliating ?

Method.

Depositing a high (240 volts) voltage electrical appliance in the Jacuzzi, after sabotaging the fuse. Would this appeal to Americans with their lower voltage (110 volts) and Residual Current Breakers .? I think this method would not appeal to American present.

The heater was unbolted from the wall. This indicates that proximately of a tool kit. Do any of those present run very old unreliable cars ?

Further Forensic Evidence

The bolts, found on the floor of the Chat Room reveal traces of Engine Oil and WD 40 – This reinforces the old car theory

Traces of Grey Hair were found on the heater.

The shaving point in the Jacuzzi room had not been used.

There is verbal evidence in this thread that the Chat Room was used to try and negotiate mixed meetings. In this Ms Liz the Squeak was most helpful.

I believe I can now draw up a profile of the murderer(s)

Old overweight, bearded folk musicians who run old cars, and drink real ale in large quantities, whilst chasing the ladies.

I shall now apply that profile to all in the room.

The investigation continues.

George Dixon

PS Sunshine – any more cracks about the Blue Lamp and I'll be having words with Traffic Division. Know what I mean Sunshine, fancy keeping your driving license ?

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: smallpiper
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 10:07 AM

Hey apart from the beard that discribes the oaklet hissel! Could it have been a false beard? I'm sure sum of the ladies could have hidden that about their persons........ but the screw driver why would anyone use a screwdriver to unfasten bolts? Surely a spanner would be betterra? so PC dixon is being led astray.

Bring on the watney's

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Murph10566
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 10:22 AM

After a deep and curcuitous investigation, I am now prepared to reveal the Murderer...

It was none other than... AAaarrgh !   Thud ! (Sound of poor, lifeless Murph hitting the floor.)   Scene fades...

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 10:28 AM

And then Tweed woke up!!!! Sorry that you're still havin' problems with that man eating zipper of yours...

And that's disgusting, Murph! You can get up off the floor now. Ahhh, what's ya' got in your pockets there, pal?

Hmmmmmm?

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:04 PM

Arrh bless Tweed maybe you should join the fun in the jacuzzi and we promise you won't end up deaded.....well there is a spare place in the pool now but of course you will never be able to replace the darling Oakley.

Girlies.....we really are going to have to figure out another way of heating the water.....oops did I really say that???....anyway we really shouldnt let the boys take the lead in the heating of our debaucherous jacuzzi.....perhaps if more would join in then it would be rather heated anyway....as alison had pointed out.....!!!!

Cat.....mourning the Oaklet....dressed in black (nothing new there then!)

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: 53
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:48 PM

is this a joke?

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: 53
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:50 PM

or what?

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 01:11 PM

A joke Cinquante-troi? Mais non mon ami.
Reservoir....Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Tweed
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 02:49 PM

Boberdzrz, it's the truth! They had my boys froze solid and was fixin' to slice em like mushrooms! They was arguing about whether to butter em or slather them in chocolate and I made my escape. That's a wild place in there late at night!

catsPHiddle, I allus get there just when you gals are puttin those silk kimonos back on. Must be the time difference or somethin. Gotta try and check in more during work.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: GUEST,Oakley's Ghost
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 06:16 PM

ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what a day! A few things that you might want to know about the afterlife. When you come to this holding stack, whilst awaiting posting to either "Upper" or "Lower" levels, one is assigned guides. Mine are Cliff Mitchelmore and that dreadful bore Percy Shaw of catseye fame. Unbeleivably, I have the power to go absolutely anywhere, and enter premises at will and watch the living at quite close quarters completely undetected by humans. Cats are a problem though. Distance is nothing; I could be in Twillingsgate one minute, then flit to Sireen's in a fraction of a second. Can't lose the guides though - an important bit that as they prevent all that "haunting" stuff.

I let my imagination run riot today. I went to the National Tramway Museum in Crich and did the whole site without paying a penny - and the proprietors were completely unaware!   It can't get more daring than that. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 06:32 PM

What is this rumour I have heard about the CIA infiltrating Punch the Horse,and could this have ant bearing on this case?

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: GUEST,Coppers Nark
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 07:30 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: GUEST,Coppers Nark
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 07:38 PM

Information has been received that the Jaccuzzi now contains :-

A miniturised Great White Shark, a school of Pirannha, and several Portugues Men of War.

Th gents urinal may contain, a King Cobra, An Austrailian King Snake (Taipan), and/or a Fer de Lance.

Caution is advised. Those using the urinals are advised that you are unlikely to find any volunteers to suck the venom out.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 07:45 PM

It's a lie, CatsPHiddle was wearing blue today, not a stitch of black on her..... I think this means more than you know...

(Although she did mention that her underwear was black but whether that's a result of poor laundry facilities or not I can't say.....)

Mr Dixon, did you want to go over that statement again.... I think I spotted a spelling mistake.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Col K
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 08:02 PM

I saw him go into the Ladies instead of the Gents, and like Giok was surprised at the loud noise that came from there whilst he was away.Upon investigation we found the damage as described by Giok.It distresses me to think that inocent people are being accused of murder when it is so obviously suicide.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: smallpiper
Date: 02 Nov 02 - 08:55 PM

The bugger was haunting the Sloop in Barton tonight - all in black ee was oh it was a terrible sight, TERRIBLE I say!

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 05:24 AM

Back in black today...no need to worry the world hasn't come to end!!!

So the jacuzzi and the urinals are outta bounds.......good job the ladies is in good working order....or is it???

Last night in the pouring rain we celebrated poor Oakleys passing with a few fizzled out fireworks......the best ones were when Songs2play accidently dropped a few in the fire........!!!!


Cat

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Oaklet
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 05:58 AM

CatsPhiddle awoke to the sound of someone in the shower, rather enthusiastically and unnecessarily rapidly foaming obviously heavy male genitals. She instantly dressed, donning angular Versace and turned, pristine in lip – glossed, bobbed splendour to the colonial door to the en-suite. Trembling, she opened the door and angled her svelte frame to allow her shoulder pads to pass the doorframe. She stared, trembling, at the cubicle. A voice from within made her feel sick with trembling yearning. Could the events of the last three days really have been a dream? A nightmare of such ferocity that it made her, well, tremble?

"Buggery Bollocks!"
"Oakley"
He emerged from the shower, "Want some cake"?
She trembled for a bit longer, broke wind fulsomely and fainted.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Oaklet
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 06:08 AM

I'll be in the room at 20.00 GMT, with fizzy wine, blue pop and cakes a-plenty. I have also had my dressings changed today, so lovely and fresh down below. I will bring a towell, Sireen's blanket and £4.30. Snuffy, if you are watching, I'll need the leather catsuit tomorrow. See you later. I hope.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: DMcG
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 06:09 AM

We now have a yet another crime to resolve - Oakley's ghost is clearly an imposter and must have been acting with the intention to deceive. He (It?) was certainly acting with malicious intent - appearing behind you and going Whooooooooooooo, for example.

I am unaware of any case against a ghost being successful in British or American Law, though. Perhaps m'learned friends can assist?

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 08:18 AM

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Morticia
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 09:16 AM

So, if it was all a dream a la Dallas, can I get to be J.R???

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Snuffy
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 10:38 AM

You mean it's you posting as Jerry Rasmussen in the chatroom, Morty?
Oakers, the catsuit is on its way to you by carrier hamster.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 11:32 AM

It was me wot dun it - I kilt the bassad all in the name of me beloved Penelope.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 11:51 AM

Fibula Mattock, Girl Detective, to the rescue, sian!

Oh. Too late.
Dammit, it was one of those "and I woke up and it was all a dream" cases but I have my doubts. That butler may have had an alibi, but he can't escape me for ever. He won't be getting off on a technicality again, lemme tell you.

One more thing - The Powers That Be should've been alerted to Skipjack and Oakley's ferocious scene the other day that required a whole lunchtime's worth of therapy to get over. The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name was becoming distinctly unlovely. Motives-a-go-go. Wait til they get the bill for that therapt session - they'll be screaming blue mourder then.

Subject: RE: BS: Murder in the Chat Room
From: smallpiper
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 12:10 PM

They seem to be the best of friends once again and I think that the guest above is one of those attention seeking geezers who will admit to anything just for the sake of it. I think the real moyderer is still at large. Anyway whater you doing going to non resident therapists?

The resident therapist