BS: Love on the internet?

Subject: BS: Love on the internet?
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 03:57 PM

Has anyone seriously fallen in love on the interent? If you have, will you tell me about it? I've been involved with someone for 5 months now, we knew eachother 40 years ago, and have not seen eachother since. We are both unattached now & separated by thousands of miles. I have no desire to relocate to his state, which has for me, an unbearable climate.This "affair" has given us both a new lease onlife, it has stirred passions we both thought were dead. We each feel as if we're 20 yrs. younger. I confided this to 2 close friends-they were both shocked. Gave me warnings about watching my money & too be very careful of my "Romeo." I see no reason why it can't continue bringing us joy, and can't understand why people are not happy for us. He's had the same warnings from friends.Any comments?Thanks

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:19 PM

As the saying used to be, "Go for it!" Let the timid and small-hearted people say what they will. It sounds like this has been a wonderful thing for both of you, and there's no reason to think it shouldn't continue to be. I know a number of people who have found lasting love that started with an online connection. Sure you should be cautious...just as you should be with someone you meet at a party or a bookstore or a park. But caution doesn't have to turn into paranoia. Just enjoy it!

I'd also suggest, if it's at all possible, that you try to arrange a meeting. As wonderful as an electronic connection is, people were designed to meet face to face--that's why we have faces!

If you check this thread (click), you'll see that I'm definitely a believer in online love. But I hope that your experience doesn't parallel mine.

If you're a member, and if you'd like to send me a personal message, I'd be happy to hear more about your experience.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: greg stephens
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:23 PM

Bobert and DougR are making a go it.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:30 PM

LOL!!! Good one, greg! Inspired, in fact.

Guest - While there are a lot of gullible people who get seriously led astray by Internet romance, there are some genuinely good relationships that have come about by the same means. I know of a couple.

So, follow your own best instincts, keep a clear head, and don't let other people second-guess you.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: SingsIrish Songs
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:30 PM

Having known the person previously can certainly be a plus--but not a prerequisite! It is definitely possible...and that's all I'm saying!

Good luck!

Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:32 PM

Yup. A couple of folks definitely fell in love 'cause of Mudcat. They should tell you if they want it known though.

Cripes Mark, I hadn't seen that thread before. Wow!

Cheers

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: DougR
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:33 PM

I dunno, Greg, Bobert is getting pretty bossy of late. He keeps making outrageous statements too! I'm not sure it's going to last.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:38 PM

Now, DOug, you have to give it time...get used to each others ways and work out agreements and so on...I am sure it will be fine. It was clear from the start to many of us that you two were just meant for each other!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:42 PM

Compromise, Doug...it's the key to a successful relationship. :-) And don't offend your significant other by pointing out little flaws like poor spelling and run-on sentences. *Shatner*

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:52 PM

well, if I remember correctly, people used to fall in love by snailmail...even between continents. Penpals would write, sometimes for years, and finally meet & marry. Why not the internet/WWW? In a way, it is 'safer'...you can trade REAL opinions, attitudes and fantasies..or even pictures.. until you both agree to meet.

It is as good as going to singles bars, I should think....you could discover you are 'not' so well matched after meeting, but as we have seen, some HAVE made it work...

With that amount of seeming compatibility, you'll never be satisfied if you don't check it out!

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: GUEST,cookieless hesperis
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 06:14 PM

As far as I'm concerned, the internet is a fantastic place to meet people from all over the world who actually share your interests.
It's great for friendship, and for friendship deep enough that it's definitely a kind of love. Whether that translates to physical love depends on the people involved. *Shrug*

Several of the people I consider my best friends, I met on the net. One of them is damn sexy, and if he's ever in this neck of the woods I'd seriously consider a date.

Unfortunately, they haven't yet invented a way to exchange smells and touch over the net, so an internet romance can never be quite as satisfying as the real thing, even if it's a great way to start the real thing with someone you already know you love having in your life.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 07:20 PM

The other main place I frequent, a bunch of dog nuts, also has a love affair that will turn into a marriage pretty soon......in the spring I think. Both are really nice folks, he's in Kansas and she's in Latvia! I have every confidence that they'll do fine!!!

And for the love of mouse crap Hawk, is it a necessity to put Shatner in to every post? Sweet fat frog legs man.....give the lad a break!!! He's an icon and all that, ya' done good, don't beat the dead horsie....

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: smallpiper
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 07:42 PM

Hey spa why'd you have to mention Puch the Horse? This was a sensible thread till then!

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 07:44 PM

You're not satisfied with torturing possum's rears, Spaw, but now ya gotta go chasing after dog nuts? What IS it with you, man???

What do you do with them -- turn them into rhythm instruments? Or just roll them around clanking in your pockets, wondering who ate all the strawberries?

A

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Joe_F
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 07:49 PM

Look up "The Lily of the Net" on DigiTrad.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Sorcha
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 07:59 PM

Dog nuts?? Even I don't go chasing after dog nuts.........

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 08:19 PM

Well, guest, if you really are a guest then I hope you won't take all this chazerei personally. (That's Yiddish for mishagoss.) The Mudcat can still be a friendly place. And if you're a member taking temporary refuge in anonymous cookielessness...I understand why!

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: kendall
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 08:31 PM

The problem with online romances is, the whackos get all the press. People are people wherever you go. Just recently a guy got into a "romance" with a teenager here. He was 30 something. He came to Maine to kidnap her, but, she called the police and when they arrived, he shot himself in the head. Some years ago another nut did himself in with a chainsaw on his intended's lawn! Does the internet create these nuts? of course not.
In my own case, I don't do the bar scene, I don't belong to any organized relegion, or any other group of people, so, if I want to meet someone, the internet is one option, and, I take my quirks with me.
It's like blaming all sailors when you see one that is drunk. Remember the saying, "Drunken sailor"?

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 11:29 PM

Wow Kendall... Doing oneself in with a chainsaw... was it running? What an image.

Having made a very stupid move into a relationship involving copious e-mail, I consider myself an authority on this subject... (somewhere... oooover the rainboooow). Take it easy, hang out together (in person) a lot, and don't move too quick.

Confucious says: Never test the depth of the puddle with both feet.

Fantastic Woman!... but we didn't grow into each other physically. We got the brain dance thing, but the lifestyle never quite caught up to the mental embrace... It is good to try, but hard to admit failure... Talk about feeling stupid... Then the blame game ends communication rather soundly... May Love Find Us All!!!!!

Still skittish, ttr

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: GUEST,Guest Poster
Date: 03 Nov 02 - 11:59 PM

Mark, that is a truly beautiful & touching story. I had chills reading. I was given a CD with a song that you may find appropos. The singer is Josh Groban, and the song is "To Where You Are." Music by Richard Marx, lyrics by Linda Thompson. Just 2 lines: If only for a while-to know you're there. A breath aways not far to where you are.

I thank you all for your good wishes, it's nice to know some of these Romances have worked out. Sorry yours didn't Thomas. Even if it doesn't pan out- these few months have been joyous, and We've both learned we are not as old as we thought we were!

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: DougR
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 12:04 AM

Wow, Kendall, life in Maine appears to be pretty dangerous!

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 12:05 AM

Make the best of it!

You both are blessed, ttr

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: GUEST,Pauline L
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 12:41 AM

I've seen both (maybe more than two) sides. My parents met by corresponding with each other by snail male when he was stationed in the Pacific and she in Europe during WWII. However, their marriage was horrible.

As for me, I have had extended e-mail correspondences with would-be lovers, but it was all just a fantasy. It was safe. They didn't want to break the bubble by meeting me. Then there was one which led to meeting relatively quickly and falling in love. That relationship, sadly, did not work out, but I don't think I can blame it on the Internet.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Big Tim
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 02:53 AM

Yea, sometimes it works, sometimes not. My friend Alec met and married a Malaysian woman. There are now perfectly happy together, been married for 4 years and have a beautiful half Chinese, half Scottish two-year-old daughter.

A female friend, just coming out of a messy divorce, has recently been badly let down by a guy from Atlanta. He constantly emailed her, then constantly phoned her, they exchanged photos, etc, he came over here(UK)for two weeks, everything went well, there was talk of marriage, he went back to Atlanta and has never been heard of again. At least he didn't get any of her money.

I'd say it's possible but very risky.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 10:06 AM

I dunno about "very" risky -- but it is clear that a medium that really only transmits significance, no matter how copiously, cannot inform you fully of what the full-scale three-dimensional human at the other end really is like. It is not a matter of volume, but accuracy -- the one doesn't necessarily compensate for shortfalls in the other!

One of the problems with an email relationship is that it isn't risky ENOUGH -- meaning that in the quiet of a computer room, tapping out words with thought beforehand, it is a lot easier to get your thoughts together, but there's no way to say how the person will act under high-speed changes that are typical of three-D life. How he'll handle real risks that show up unexpectedly, new circumstances where the luxury of editorial review isn't available.

OTOH, love isn't all THAT fussy about when and where it will loom up and overwhelm all other judgements, is it? :">)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Alice
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 10:11 AM

However people meet, they never really get to know each other unless they can be IN PERSON around each other, seeing how the other person handles normal day to day life. The character of a person will come out when you see in person how they handle stress, challenges, change, moral decisions, family relationships, past personal history, future plans, finances... it takes a year or two to get to know them, seeing how someone lives their life, without fantasies of what you wish them to be. It is possible but very risky to get into an intimate relationship with someone when you haven't taken the time to see what kind of character they have first. Meeting through personal ads or the internet or some other way long distance feeds the fantasies that people have about romance. If you are serious, you have to live in the same area and see each other regularly for at least a year to know what you are getting into. When people meet and instantly bond forever and it is a success, they have just been luckly in the gamble. Guest, since it is 40 years since you last knew this person, he is a stranger now. Enjoy your pen pal but do what your friends say - don't get carried away and do something foolish with your money or your life.

"getting to know you, getting to know all about you..."

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Mr Red
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 10:26 AM

My experience with romantic contacts over a non visual non contact medium is that you cannot get an full understanding of the chemistry. The hit rate is low in real life. When you see peole in the real world you pass on far more than you register and get interested in just a few.
Via ads etc there is no chemistry only the recipe.
If you get at all clever with words on the screen the readers don't understand levity and get bored if there is none.
Years ago I put an ad in a paper and got replies from the targets' sister on two occasions and one cried off when she was told - 1/2 before the meeting!!!! The chances get that random.
I am sure they had a similar "inappropriate" assesment of me - as perfect as I am (**BG**).
Given the history in your case and recent correspondence it sounds as if you are getting something out of it as is. Moving on to the next stage may not be as wonderful. But on a holiday basis who knows?
Good Luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 10:28 AM

Yeah, go for it, but I agree with what Alice says about "they never really get to know each other unless they can be IN PERSON around each other, seeing how the other person handles normal day to day life".

In 1995 I went to visit a guy (a friend of a friend of a friend) I met via e-mail. We had a lovely little holiday romance, but that was it - although I was convinced he was my soulmate when we wrote to each other (and yeah, I was 19 years old which didn't help) it didn't feel right. (I found out last year that he's gay, but neither he nor I knew at the time - that felt a bit weird when I considered how intense our mails were.)

Now I keep in touch with a lovely bloke online whom I see a few times a year at conferences I go to. Only thing is, the chances of making that into a relationship are fairly slim given we're on different continents (though that suits me just fine for now).

Conclusion: I think the distance thing is worse for a relationship than the fact that you (re)met online.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: tar_heel
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 11:41 AM

that's how Sandytoes and i met...on the internet....we became close bonded friends for over 2 1/2 years...we met in person many times during that period...visiting each others homes,meeting relatives,friends,having get-togethers,reunions and even shindigs and inviting our other internet friends to come...and they did...
but,last september,labor day,it all ended...too many rumors,tales,inuendos...it completely destroyed our relationship and now shes gone ...and my heart is broken ,my life is empty ,the pain is unbearable,but worst of all...my Sandytoes is gone...gone forever!

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 11:45 AM

Tar-Heels:

My sympathies. But keep breathing, and move as close as you can to the moment, the real moment of the present, and you will come out all right. Honest.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: irishajo
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 12:04 PM

I have experienced a few Internet relationships myself in years past. I can honestly say the only time I felt in 'love' was before I met or phoned the guy. After that I generally lost interest, or his wife called me to tell me he wasn't quite what he'd represented himself to be, or something else along those lines happened.

These days I like to thing I'm a bit less naive. I would say, for me at least, it's easier to feel love when one is not confronted with physical, day to day issues that couples deal with.

I do have many friends online that I'll likely never meet. And I do have many that I feel 'love' for as one loves a close friend. One friend in particular that, although we don't communicate often anymore, I feel a strong connection with and probably always will. (I do miss him, but I understand the tenuousness of online friendships.) If your relationship turns out like that, in my opinion you haven't lost anything.

Like others have said I feel it's important to meet in person before you make any promises/commitments to one another. And be careful. Your heart is involved. And of course, enjoy yourself, which is the whole point I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 12:07 PM

Yes, the chainsaw was running. Apparently, he was trying to show that he was serious and would rather be dead than rejected, so, maybe it was one of those nervous twitches one gets. Anyway, he nearly decapitated himself, the cops came and picked up the big pieces, as they say, and that was that.

Why is it that someone always has to blame someone? If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Blaming the other party for your own disappointment is futile and unfair. It's like blaming a man with one leg because he can't win an ass kicking contest.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 02:20 PM

I'm gonna throw a spanner in the works and say...

What the heck, life is not primarily about romantic relationships anyway, it's about self-discovery. (also called Self-Realization in some traditions)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: mg
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 02:56 PM

I disagree...I think life itself comes from our romantic (or mating) relationships and it is primal...not the exclusively mushy stuff but the one man standing by one woman and vise versa and I think we have mucked up this concept royally in just a few generations, although I know it didn't work for a sizeable number of people.

mg

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 04:31 PM

LH:

Sure, sure -- but you can't get to Omega straight from Alpha, pal. It is the nature of the universe to suck you back to whatever letter you skipped. And learning how to build one friendship, or one romance, or one marriage, of truly viable quality, is surely a passage without which full "Self-Realization" will never happen.

SOlly. :>)


A

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: bernil
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 04:43 PM

This can be difficult for me to explain in English (I'm Swedish), but I want to try. My boyfriend since soon one year and I had been together twice before, 1980 and 1986. We were together just for short periods and both times bad things happened which we couldn't handle so we parted. But I had never really forgotten him. Even if I didn't think about him so much in daytime and not when I had another boyfriend, he often popped up in my dreams. He has lived quite near where I live (15 minutes by car!) but we seldom met and when we did we were too shy to talk, we just said hello!

Then one day I just got tired of it all and sat down and wrote a short letter to ask B how he was and if he wanted some contact. I gave him my phone number and also my mail address and a few days later an answer came by e-mail. We started mailing and using ICQ but first I was quite uncertain if I really was so interested as we didn't seem to have much in common (now either).

But by and by things happened there on ICQ… We talked more and more about how it was when we were together, shared old memories etc. We talked about meeting but were both unsure if it would be a good idea. As for me I was also afraid because… you know: "Third time lucky". I admit that love has scared me!

We had contact only on the net for half a year but eventually we met and soon I realised that those old feelings were still there… and now we've also found that we do have a lot in common.

What I wanted to say (I think…) was that e-mail and ICQ (or other chat programs) can be very good ways to talk about things you shouldn't dare talk about in real life. As we both have always been shy (at least for each other, because of the strong feelings) we would never have made this without Internet, I think.

That was my little story!

Berit

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: mg
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 04:54 PM

I think Internet is great because it can, if people are honest, cut to the heart of the matter..and can help eliminate people from consideration. Then the pool you end up with is compatible people in intellectual or social ways and you don't know about the physical.

In physical dimensions, you can eliminate the ones with whom you wouldn't be physically compatible, and then figure out if they are emotionally, intellectually and socially compatible. I think the first way makes more sense...because at least you are left (again, assuming people are honest) with friends..whereas the second way....

mg

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 05:27 PM

Well, Amos, that is true indeed...

And, Mary, you are quite right that the marriage bond is the glue that holds society together in the functional sense, and it brings forth the next generation and the whole general structure of society. So, if one is thinking in larger terms than are presented in the standard "romance" novel, well then, you're onto something.

Be that as it may, I finally decided that I had to look within, rather than in another pair of eyes across the table, in order to figure out what my life was really about. I'm a bit unconventional, though, and I really prefer being on my own in the long run...although I like romance for its own sake...always did. But I'm not inclined to set up house with someone or launch upon creating a family. I'm just not suited to it.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 05:38 PM

Well, LH -- while you are spending your attention gazing within, be sure and keep your balance!! Falling in can be temrinal!! LOL

BErit, thanks for your wonderful story!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 05:57 PM

You're talkin' about navel-gazing aren't you, Amos? Geez, that could be nasty...imagine getting stuck in there. People with "innies" must have to be quite careful about this.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: wilco
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 06:21 PM

I was captured very early in the sexual revolution, about 35 years ago. For us old geezers, it's hard to understand why people have to look so far for a mate. Culturally, how has this happened?

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 06:33 PM

Hey! Little Hawk!...

I have enjoyed your postings lately, as you seem accepting and very open minded. You seem to take critisism well, and I admire this trait. I wonder about the singleness of my life lately. I am under the impression that I am healing from my last "live in lover", yet I've also got a sneaking suspicion that the "serial monogamy" life I've been living in my adult life has got to stop... I'm speaking for myself here... Got to admit I'm getting restless for the real thing. what about you? gonna get hooked someday?

ttr

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 06:59 PM

Hi, Thomas. Well, I think it's becoming less likely that I will be "hooked" with every passing year. :>) I was romantic to the very core as a child, as an adolescent, as a young adult, as an older adult...

Have fallen in love many times, and even succeeded in getting involved with the target of my affections on a few! It was always an overwhelming experience when I did.

These experiences have combined to convince me that I don't do well trying to "nest-build" with a female. Just am not made that way, I guess...I prefer a small, private nest of my own. And I never had the yen to have children at all. Not for one moment did I think that was a good idea (in my particular case, I mean).

Everybody's unique in these matters, so I am not proposing that anyone else emulate me in them, needless to say.

But I do find that, although I'm very romantic by nature, I seem to do better as a loner.

I like females and respect them and admire them...I just don't want to live with one full time. It involves too much. The "real thing" is a very big chunk to bite off, but most people simply take if for granted that they MUST have it or they don't have a life! I don't see it that way at all. I think life can be marvelous or miserable in either case, and I've seen plenty of evidence to support either one of those possibilities.

My penchant for being alone may stem partly from the fact that I was an only child, and partly from the fact that my parents' marriage has been an emotional snake pit lasting a lifetime, and I got to watch it all from a front row seat...right to this very day.

Good luck to you in finding whatever makes you happy.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 07:47 PM

Old geezer, it's easy to find a mate if you are not fussy.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: harpgirl
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 08:04 PM

...I've decided that I want to get married sometime in the next two years. I am only willing to relocate to within 400 miles of my current residence so I will be looking based on that initial criteria. Wish me luck. hg

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 08:19 PM

Sometimes things work out well between people who first meet on the internet. And I think Berit has made some good points. Personally, I don't think it makes much sense to "go looking" for love on the internet. But it's a great way to meet people, and if one of the people you meet turns out to be a good match for you, well then, there you are ;-)

Good luck to you, harpgirl.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Peg
Date: 04 Nov 02 - 09:12 PM

what's the lovely song Mary Black sings? "I Live Not Where I Love."

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 01:09 AM

kendall - Hell, it's a cinch finding a mate if you're not too picky...what's not usually so easy is parting from him/her a bit farther down the road when feelings change...

For those who find the perfect mate for life...congrats!   That is like the Great White Whale...often talked about, and very seldom seen.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 02:54 AM

Too bad, HG, I know the perfect person for you, but he lives 407 miles from you. But good luck anyway!

For what it's worth, I'm with LH on this one. If you feel that your happiness depends on finding someone to share your life with, then the odds are pretty good that there is an empty space inside you that another person will never be big enough to fill.

On the other hand, if you feel basically good about yourself and your life, then there's a good chance you'll attract and be attracted to someone who also feels good about his/her self and life, and wants to live and grow together. And if not...well, then, you still feel good about yourself and your life!

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 03:19 AM

Though chemistry between two people can't be conveyed over the net, nor the full measure of their character until you meet, you can get to know alot about a person's values, innermost thoughts, opinions, etc., sometimes even better than live conversations. The net affords you the time to collect your thoughts and express them without too much "I should have said" going on. But, we're only talking one dimension, an important one at that. like Alice said, it doesn't reveal the give and take of being with someone, or the full character of the person. Best to see the net as conveying SOME very important aspects of a person.
The bottom line, in my opinion, is to go for it! If it doesn't work out, wouldn't you rather have found that out rather than always wonder if you missed out on something?

Chanteyranger

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 03:27 AM

Speaking of "I should have said," I should say that I think Bobert and Doug would complement each other very well. Bobert can go out marching while Doug stays home and watches "Firing Line." :-).

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 03:54 AM

Yes, but here's the tough one: when baseball season comes around again, are they going to watch the Arizona Diamondbacks, or the Charleston Alley Cats?

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: harpgirl
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 08:39 AM

...oh one more thing...he can't be a ukele player!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 10:04 AM

hg...is that 400 miles in a radius? *grin*...there's this island ....

(hey...I know someone who plays BOTH ukelele and autoharp...you never know!)

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 11:35 AM

Hey! Elvis played the Ukelele on occasion. He also busted guitars over table tops (in the movies, I mean), and shot out his TV with a pistol. How could anyone NOT go for a guy like that? :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: mousethief
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 12:03 PM

I met my wife online. We courted for a year and a half (it helped that she could fly the 1700 miles between us for free given that she worked for FedEx) and have now been married, and very happily so, for five and a half years.

Just take it slow and see what happens!

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 12:07 PM

As the hippo said when mounting the rhinoceros...

(joke, okay? No personal aspersions intended... :-))

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 02:34 PM

A couple can certainly fall in love on the Internet combined with phonecalls. I know this from personal experience. I have an unique personality. I doubt I could ever have met someone who is as beautiful and as well suited to me any other way.

Alice it is possible to get to know another's personality remotely, an in less than a year. There have been no surprizes for either of us after we met. But we did experience stressfull times and help each other through them on the net. We also spent a lot of time. For the final six months before I drove up and met Carol I would estimate an average of 4-5 hours per day either IMing or talking on the phone.

There really aren't any caveats for internet romance which don't equally apply to face to face romance. There are good people and bad people everywhere. Guest,guest, that is what I told my friends. Best of luck to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Steve in Idaho
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 02:55 PM

My partner Jan and I got to know each other on the net. Best thing that ever happened to me. We did meet in person several times - but the first was mostly net talk.

Go for it -

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 04:43 PM

Haaaarp Giiiirl... How close are you to Seattle Washington...??? ttr

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: DougR
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 08:00 PM

Chantyranger: I wouldn't be caught dead watching "Firing Line."

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: GUEST,Bill
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 09:31 PM

Never tried it on the net--tried it on the tele once but we both fell off
Bill(the sound
)

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: kendall
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 09:52 PM

You gotta get out on the limb, that's where the fruit is.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 11:32 PM

Doug, in that case, maybe you and Bobert wouldn't be that compatible (BG).
Buckley used to have some interesting, sometimes outrageous guests in the old days. his show morphed into quite a yawner over the years. He should spice it up with the Jerry Springer treatment, and have the President of the World Bank's former girlfriend walk onto the set and smack him.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Nov 02 - 11:39 PM

Thomas...methinks harpgirl is about as far from Seattle as you can get...(well, she COULD be in Miami)...now, I know an old GF who was in Seattle as of 8-10 years ago *grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: bflat
Date: 06 Nov 02 - 10:58 PM

There is no reason why the internet can not be the beginning of a lasting and important relationship. I am skeptical that you can know a person well in the absence of personal contact, to say that you love them. People do not reveal their full nature because, I think they are not objective enough nor are they open to scrutiny, IMHO. Use the vehicle to bring you to the next level. Best Wishes.

Ellen

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 06 Nov 02 - 11:58 PM

Well then, Bill, It's a good thing I was ummmm... kidding?;^)
No offense to the wonderful harpgirl (she I've never met) who lives soooo far from me... and so; Its time to go back to my studies... Martyn Carthy's version of "Cold Haily Windy Night"... Blessings! ttr

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Nov 02 - 08:54 AM

I've been there, done it, but am currently giving it it another shot to a very wonderful sweet woman, who's very voice gets my heart a pumping. She has the most beautiful voice to listen to, and the lovliest smile. The only problem is is that she's on another continent. sigh, oh well, we will meet this spring.

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: harpgirl
Date: 07 Nov 02 - 10:12 AM

Thomas,
Your rhyming sets my heart aflame
alas, we live so far apart
I would but wish limerance to start
if verily, our years the same...

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: harpgirl
Date: 07 Nov 02 - 10:21 AM

and Thomas,
...the only rose without a thorn
is friendship of artifice quite neatly shorn...
I offer up my hand outstretched
my friendship stands the boldest test...

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 02 - 11:36 AM

Well, harpgirl, I am impressed!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Nov 02 - 01:02 AM

love theyself

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: GUEST,Songmeister's secret admirer
Date: 11 Nov 02 - 10:51 PM

Ode To a gargoyle

             The gargoyle guards my sullen heart
          I'm safe to dwell beneath his impish grin
         I watch the nighthawks dodge his winged alert
         Tannins bruise his lips and secrets stay within
      But lo' I hear the whipporwill when he has banished care
         A trilling waterfall and laughter fills the air

Subject: RE: BS: Love on the internet?
From: Duane D.
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 01:05 AM

There are probably many more good experiences in finding romance online than the sensational bad ones the media flaunts. I met bbc online through a then free email based site and found Mudcat later. We've been together over five years (a new record for me).

All the best.
Duane.