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BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!

mousethief 23 Nov 02 - 11:18 PM
Amos 24 Nov 02 - 12:10 AM
mousethief 24 Nov 02 - 12:14 AM
CapriUni 24 Nov 02 - 01:49 AM
Amos 24 Nov 02 - 07:36 AM
greg stephens 24 Nov 02 - 07:37 AM
Schantieman 24 Nov 02 - 08:50 AM
Tinker 24 Nov 02 - 09:26 AM
McGrath of Harlow 24 Nov 02 - 12:11 PM
Charley Noble 24 Nov 02 - 12:12 PM
Tinker 24 Nov 02 - 01:58 PM
katlaughing 24 Nov 02 - 04:36 PM
katlaughing 24 Nov 02 - 04:57 PM
Tinker 24 Nov 02 - 06:02 PM
katlaughing 24 Nov 02 - 07:50 PM
Genie 24 Nov 02 - 09:03 PM
Genie 24 Nov 02 - 09:13 PM
mousethief 25 Nov 02 - 02:18 AM
Jack the Sailor 25 Nov 02 - 02:34 AM
Genie 25 Nov 02 - 04:12 AM
Tinker 25 Nov 02 - 07:54 AM
mousethief 25 Nov 02 - 09:25 AM
Wolfgang 25 Nov 02 - 09:33 AM
katlaughing 25 Nov 02 - 09:40 AM
Amos 25 Nov 02 - 09:46 AM
mousethief 25 Nov 02 - 09:56 AM
Wolfgang 25 Nov 02 - 10:08 AM
Amos 25 Nov 02 - 10:30 AM
DonD 25 Nov 02 - 10:24 PM
Amos 26 Nov 02 - 01:09 AM
Genie 26 Nov 02 - 09:50 AM
mousethief 28 Nov 02 - 12:22 AM
mousethief 03 Dec 02 - 02:14 AM
Genie 03 Dec 02 - 03:04 AM
Amos 03 Dec 02 - 07:30 PM
mousethief 04 Dec 02 - 12:50 AM

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Subject: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: mousethief
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 11:18 PM

I can't live without my song challenge. So while the GG is temporarily indisposed, I hope you will all join me in a little unofficial action. This from Reuters:

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Laptops have always been a hot item but a 50-year-old scientist did not realise to what extent until he burned his penis.

The previously healthy father of two remembered feeling a burning sensation after he had been writing a report at home for about an hour with the computer on his lap.

He noticed a redness and irritation the following day but it was not until he was examined by a doctor that he realised how much damage had been done.

"The ventral part of his scrotal skin had turned red, and there was a blister with a diameter of about two centimetres (0.8 inches)," Claes-Gorn Ostenson, of the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, wrote in a letter published in The Lancet medical journal on Friday.

Two days later, the blisters broke and the wounds became infected and then crusted but after about a week the unidentified scientist was "healing quite rapidly."

Ostenson noted that the computer manual did warn against operating it directly on exposed skin but said the patient had lap burns even though he had been wearing trousers and underpants.

"This...story should be taken as a serious warning against use of a laptop in a literal sense," he added.

Go for it!

Alex


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 12:10 AM

This one is a prime candidate for an "I Switched" song!

After all -- NOone has ever burned their penis on a Mac!! Neener neener!

It was also a WIndows NT computer, I believe that ran the US Navy frigate aground a couple of years ago when it was entrusted with navigating.

Why those thangs are almost as frightening as the Moron in the White House! :>)



A


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: mousethief
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 12:14 AM

Yeah yeah yeah let's not turn this into a political thread. Let's see some songs about roasting hot dogs or cooking wieners or whatever.

Alex


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: CapriUni
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 01:49 AM

I don't have a song (yet)... but I do have a question:

If the laptop got hot enough to burn him -- in a notoriously sensitive area -- wouldn't that be awfully uncomfortable? I mean, burns like that don't happen instantly.

If I were in his position, I think I would've started squirming before any serious damage was done... unless it heated up so slowly, he didn't feel it... Or if he was so totally engrossed in what he was doing...

I wonder what he was working on, then...


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 07:36 AM

Smart question, CU -- it is not as though its a heavily calloused body part, but it is possible he was suffering from psychosomatic insensitivity (numbnuts syndrome). I agree it would be good to know what he was so engrossed in he couldn't feel, or at least smell, his flesh starting to blister. Obviously he was not one of those men whose brain is located in those regions! :>)

A new chapter in the absent-minded professor legend!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: greg stephens
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 07:37 AM

Willie McFried


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Schantieman
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 08:50 AM

As far as detecting burns by the pain is concerned, it ain't necessarily so. A couple of years ago (the night my wife threw me out!) I stayed with some friends.   They gave me a hot water bottle, as the loft bedroom was cold. When I woke up there was a blister on my toe an inch long. I couldn't understand why it hadn't hurt either!

...now, as for the song...... 'scuse me a minute....


Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Tinker
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 09:26 AM

Hmmmm.... lets see Sam the Hot Dog Man has possibilities or maybe Hot Nuts for Sale..... I guess I'm gonna have to think on this a little bit....but it definately needs a Roots blues....Or maybe My Pencil Don't Write No More.....


Tinker


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 12:11 PM

What kind of websites was he surfing not to be aware that he was getting overheated?

Your heatin' part will make you weep
You'll cry and cry and try to sleep
But sleep won't come the whole night through
Your heatin' part will tell on you...


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 12:12 PM

The "scientist" was probably browsing through a porn website and was confusing pain with pleasure.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Tinker
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 01:58 PM

Okay here's a start... It started this song in my mind and with minor modificaations...

Burnt Out Blues
Tune: My Pencil Won't Write No More
B.Carter


Now listen here folks, I've a sad tale to tell
Technology burnt my pencil, with a laptop Dell

Chorus:

And now my lead's all gone
Oh the lead's all gone
Oh the lead's all gone
This pencil won't write no more.

I laid down in my bed, just to type out a line
I couldn't feel my ol' laptop heatin' up so fine

I gets out of my bed, laid it down on the floor
I but it scorched my ol' pencil, it won't write no more

I met a hot mama, I want to love her so bad
I burnt all the lead in the pencil I had

I hugged and I kissed her all last night
There wasn't nothin' more cause my pencil won't write

Man, protect your pencils, keyboards aren't the same
If that lead goes up in flames it's a cryin' shame




It brought to mind this thread previous thread on pencils


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 04:36 PM

With apologies to the Beatles. Such as it is, feel free to make changes. Anything would be better, eh?! **BG**

Hey Dude, don't burn it bad
The computer won't make it better
Remember laptops sit upon the table
Then your willie will start to get better

Hey Dude, don't be afraid
Even with blisters you'll still get her
The minute the heat gets under your skin
Whoops, there goes your pecker!

And anytime you feel the pain
Hey Dude refrain
Don't carry the 'puter upon your thighs
For well you know that it's a fool
Who plays it cool
By making his willie a little hotter
Da da da da da
Da da da da


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 04:57 PM

Missed yours, Tink, I got called away in the middle of posting. Well done!! I really like yours!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Tinker
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 06:02 PM

Kat check the original lyrics.... this one was too easy...Original found here


Tinker


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 07:50 PM

Ah! Thanks! Reminds me of another I learned from a tape of Roy Book Binder's Cigarette Blues.


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Genie
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 09:03 PM

Hey, Alex, thanks for the Challenge! (If this works out, maybe Aine will make ya an associate deity!)

¤;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Genie
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 09:13 PM

All that comes to mind so far is:

The web's a seductive thing,
Networked with a token ring,*
It plays to base desires;
Before you know, you've a Lap of Fire.

"I fell prey to a burning Lap of Fire,
As the files loaded down
The heat got higher,
And it turned my groin,
To a Lap of Fire, a Lap of Fire.


Genie

*I know that line needs work.


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 02:18 AM

I was thinking of something to the tune of "Killing Floor"...

Well I burned my lemon, till the blister big and white
Yeah I burned my lemon, till the blister big and white
Now my girl cain't squeeze it, be no lemonade tonight...

Then I was thinking of Robert Johnson's "Hot Tamales"...

Heat'd my wally till it's red hot, yass you know what I mean
Heat'd my wally till it's red hot, yass you know what I mean
Well I fired up my modem
Jumped online
Smelled somethin' cookin'
Looked down to find
I'd
Heat'd my wally till it's red hot, yass, you know what I mean

But I think I"ll finally go with ...

Well I wish I had a heat-protected wiener
That is what I wish I had to piss
For if I had a heat-protected wiener
My laptop would'na burned it to a crisp

You guys are great -- great song entries! I don't have any of the GG's usual stock of awards but I want to do something so I shall give my own brand of award, the

BRONZED MOUSE DROPPING

(or BMD) for sending anything at all (other awards of more varied sorts to come after a longer period as per the GG's practice) to:

McGrath of Harlow for this painfully funny quatrain:

Your heatin' part will make you weep
You'll cry and cry and try to sleep
But sleep won't come the whole night through
Your heatin' part will tell on you...


And to Tinker for this excruciatingly humorous couplet:

I gets out of my bed, laid it down on the floor
I but it scorched my ol' pencil, it won't write no more


And to Katlaughing for this hot verse:

Hey Dude, don't be afraid
Even with blisters you'll still get her
The minute the heat gets under your skin
Whoops, there goes your pecker!


And to Genie for this wickedly funny chorus:

I fell prey to a burning Lap of Fire,
As the files loaded down
The heat got higher,
And it turned my groin,
To a Lap of Fire, a Lap of Fire.


Don't spend your BMD's all in one place, now. Accepted like cash in hundredths of places worldwide.

Keep up the good work, y'all!

Alex
O..O
=o=


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 02:34 AM

Porno floating down the internet wire.
So raunchy, he's curling up his toes.
Claes-Gorn Ostenson, he's not in a choir.
Computer surfing he has chose.

Every body knows, hot water can burn your toe.
If you leave it in the bed all night.
His tiny parts, with the screen all aglow.
He'll find them hard in phospher light.

And so I'm offering this good advice
To geeks lap dancing in the bed.
Pentium chips can get very hot
and
Roasted Chesnuts
Roasted Chesnuts
Roasted Chesnuts
turn red


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Genie
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 04:12 AM

Bronzed Mouse Droppings! Gotta love it, Alex!!

LOL!

Genie


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Tinker
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 07:54 AM

This is one way to get me to transcrbe the songs on this CD... Here's another rewrite that seems appropo after Jack the Sailor's...
So glad to see some guys in here I as beginnning to wonder...


GET'EM FROM THE PEANUT MAN
(HOT NUTS)

Selling nuts, hot nuts,
Anybody here wanna buy my nuts
Selling nuts, Hot nuts
I've got nuts for sale

They tell me your nuts is mighty fine
But I bet you your nuts ain't as hot as mine

Chorus:
Selling nuts, hot nuts
Buy 'em from the peanut man
Nuts, hot nuts,
Anybody here wanna buy my nuts
Selling nuts, Hots nuts
I've got nuts for sale

Workin' on my laptop and my penis got burnt
Nuts got roasted, it's a hard lesson learnt

My roasted nuts come in a sack
This limited time offer won't be back

Look what you can get cheep
Only 5 cents
Nice and brown too
Everybody's crazy bout my nuts

Now you see that man all dressed in brown
He's got the hottest nuts in town

In pursuit of science you can hypothesize
But repeat my results and you'll fry, fry, fry


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:25 AM

Great work, crew! This morning I award the coveted BMD to Jack the Sailor for this very poignant advice:

And so I'm offering this good advice
To geeks lap dancing in the bed.
Pentium chips can get very hot
and
Roasted Chesnuts
Roasted Chesnuts
Roasted Chesnuts
turn red


And yet another coveted BMD to Tinker for, well, yet another funny couplet:

In pursuit of science you can hypothesize
But repeat my results and you'll fry, fry, fry


Keep 'em comin' lads and lassies, I've got plenty of coveted BMD's just dying to be given away.

Alex
O..O
=o=


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Wolfgang
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:33 AM

unless it heated up so slowly, he didn't feel it...

Most probably yes: with a prolonged exposition to a temperature of about 42 degrees Celsius you can get severe burns and not feel anything during the exposition. There's no need (though I see the fun in doing it) to claim absentmindedness or preoccupation with numbing material.

Wolfgang


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:40 AM

Thanks, Alex!


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:46 AM

The Academic


(Tune: The Boxer, Simon&Garfunkel)



I am just a poor boy, my story it is plain
I have squandered my aesthetic sense
For a discipline that only works within the brain
I immersed myelf in physics and the mysteries of graphs
And when passion overcame me,
I would hide in calculations til the feeling passed.

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela

Now once I had girlfriend, but she didn't stay for long
And so quickly she decided the relationship was wrong
I left her far behind me, in my sorrow and my fear
And retreated to the physics lab,
Doing calculus to cover up my endless tears

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela

I immersed myself in Excel files, and drawing clever charts
Trying hard to close the channels to my feelings and my heart
And I ran a few experiments, like an ordinary bloke,
I was lost in contemplation, and I never saw the lab fill up with smoke

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela

As my eyes began to siffer from the acrid burning fumes
My attention was distracted by arrivals there from all the other study rooms
And then I began to notice I was actually aflame!
"I am burning, I am burning!" "The extinguisher, please!"
As my polyster Sears slacks melted to my knees!

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela

I am called the red-hot reearch kid
They laugh along the halls
Everybody on the campus knows
Just what I did to my pecker and my balls.
But my psyche has recovered, and I only want to say
That it wasn't such a tragedy
I really wasn't using them much, anyway!

Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela
Lade la
Ladelalaladela
Ladela
Ladelalaladelalaladela
(Fade on ladelas and big boom sounds)


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 09:56 AM

Sorry, Wolfgang, no awards for pedantry, only lyrics.

Kat, you are most welcome!

The coveted BMD goes next to Amos for this laugh-out-loud stanza:

As my eyes began to s[u]ffer from the acrid burning fumes
My attention was distracted by arrivals there from all the other study rooms
And then I began to notice I was actually aflame!
"I am burning, I am burning!" "The extinguisher, please!"
As my polyster Sears slacks melted to my knees!


And now I must be off for work but keep it up and I'll award more coveted BMD's when I get home tonight.

Alex
O..O
=o=


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Wolfgang
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 10:08 AM

I'm not out for visible awards. Giving information where speculation abounds is an award in itself.

Wolfgang


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 10:30 AM

WOlfgang:

You are a man of impeccable virtue!! Danke!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: DonD
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 10:24 PM

I don't know either the tune or the lyrics except for the title that's been co-opted by some fast food commercial, -- but -- I think 'The Ring of Fire' is just insisting on being coverted to 'My Thing's on Fire'! Someone?


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 02 - 01:09 AM

I yelled out, well I think my thing's on fire!
Had to shout, shout shout, while the pain down there grew higher,
'Cuz it burned burned burned -- my thing a-fire
My thing a-fire.



'zat what you had in mind, Don? :>)


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Genie
Date: 26 Nov 02 - 09:50 AM

That's even better than my initial take on the "Ring Of Fire" song ("Lap of Fire")! LOL!

Now, you guys, someone's just GOTTA do

"FIRE DOWN BELOW!"

¤;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: mousethief
Date: 28 Nov 02 - 12:22 AM

Here's a coveted BMD for Amos, for this incendiary verse:

I yelled out, well I think my thing's on fire!
Had to shout, shout shout, while the pain down there grew higher,
'Cuz it burned burned burned -- my thing a-fire
My thing a-fire.


Alex


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: mousethief
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 02:14 AM

Well it looks like it's about time to hand out kudos. The GG's awards all have something to do with Irish beer, but since I don't drink beer (Irish or otherwise, even though I'm 1/4th Farrell), mine don't. I'll look around the liquor cabinet, though, and see what I can come up with....

The Golden Mouse Wheel with Stolichnaya Crest (for making me smile) goes to:

Genie for Lap of Fire
McGrath of Harlow for Your Heatin' Part
Amos for My Thing-A-Fire
Tinker for Hot Nuts (Get Em From the Peanut Man)

The Golden Mouse Wheel with St. Brendan's Irish Cream Crest (for making me chuckle) goes to:

Tinker for Burnt Out Blues
Katlaughing for Hey Dude
Jack the Sailor for The Chestnut Song

And the coveted Golden Mouse Wheel with Glenlivet Crest (for making me guffaw) goes to:

Amos for The Academic

Great going, mates!

(if I missed anybody I'm sorry but it's late at night and I'm printing Christmas newsletters to send to the cousins...)

Alex


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Genie
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 03:04 AM

Thanks, Alex.

But don't put away the Mouse droppings just yet. I still got my best one in the old turd word processor.

Genie ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 07:30 PM

WOW!! A Glenlivet Crest!! Just right for my needs!!

Thanks, Mousethief!! An honor!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Unofficial Song Challenge!
From: mousethief
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 12:50 AM

Frankly I'd rather have a bottle of the stuff than the crest but just so's you're happy, Amos...

Alex


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This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 19 October 4:45 PM EDT

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