Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2]


BS: bullying advice

Eric the Viking 29 Nov 02 - 02:14 PM
Ireland 29 Nov 02 - 02:10 PM
GUEST 29 Nov 02 - 02:09 PM
Clinton Hammond 29 Nov 02 - 02:03 PM
Eric the Viking 29 Nov 02 - 02:02 PM
GUEST,Nelson 29 Nov 02 - 02:02 PM
Ireland 29 Nov 02 - 02:02 PM
Joe Offer 29 Nov 02 - 02:01 PM
Clinton Hammond 29 Nov 02 - 01:46 PM
Ireland 29 Nov 02 - 01:39 PM

Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:













Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 02:14 PM

Sorry Joe, I disagree with you when you say that the victim is partly responsible for making himself a victim. It isn't genrally true. Bullies look for victims of all shapes and sizes that they can reflect their own anger upon. The victim (though not always) often is the victim just because-he looks different, is good/bad/lazy/eager in class, wears different clothes, has a different hairstlye,lifestyle, anyone of a thousand reasons. A bully is someone who uses his physical or mental capacities to push his will, anger, sense of poor self image etc onto someone else for his own enjoyment, escapism, displacement activty. The causes of bullying are fairly well documented, but not many root causes are identified within a bully because little enough (most times) is known about past experiences of the bully. Even when they are known about, it is often too late to cange the outlook of a bully unless councelling/anger management startegies are employed. This is reasonably specialist, takes time, money and effort.

Nobody asks to be a victim.

I do agree that peaceful resolution can work, and that this is really the only true option. But this again takes time and willingness on both parties, and very good mediation.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
From: Ireland
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 02:10 PM

The real issue is this, there were three boys in the first year they picked on other kids made their lives hell. They turned to my son who sorted them out on the rugby pitch, came home disappointed in himself for resorting to such means.

Now the boys put others up to get at him to the extent of telling lies, what I am asking for is help in stopping this. The teacher ridiculed him infront of the bullies encouraging them. The issue I have is with the teacher and the schools policy on bullying.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 02:09 PM

According to Joe Offer, "in most bullying situations, the victim is partly responsible for making himself a victim, so it's a good idea to investigate what your child is doing to invite bullying."

Joe,

That's so true. Your logic also reminds me of those women who deserve to get raped because they wear lowcut blouses and of the Americans who deserved to die on 9/11 because they were enemies of Osama's interpretation of Islam.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 02:03 PM

It's not a quip... it's just blunt...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: bullying advice
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 02:02 PM

There is the children and young persons act, that is supposed to ensure that belittling by teachers doesn't happen. What the teacher is doing is strictly illegal and more to the point bloody disgraceful. You can contact the head of the school and put in a formal complaint, you can contact the chairperson of the governing body and complain. you can ask for a meeting with yourself, the teacher and a senior member of staff management team. You can go directly to the local authority, Head of education or more likely director of lifelong learning (fancier name)

The school and also the LEA must by law have a policy on bullying with must include methods of dealing with incidents, and the framework for complaints.It should have an incident log in which things like this should be logged and recorded over time. The school must by law have a behaviour policy and references to behaviour management strategies.

What ever you do, don't take the law into your own hands, because unfortunately you will be the looser hands down!!

You should be able to obtain factual information from other pupils in the room to substantiate your sons claims.

I don't think it is right for a teacher to leave a class (though it does happen) in a technology/science room as there should be risk assessments carried out that the teacher should be aware of. If he left whilst there was the possiblity of an accident that is case for internal discipline as well.

The sad truth is that most schools have little real knowledge of how to deal with bullying, how to councel victims and how to manage poor behaviour. I feel that many schools cannot cope, and turn a blind eye to much of what goes on.

Try these avenues first. I'll get back to you with some working strategies if that's any help.

Lastly there is the general teaching council of England and wales that can take disciplinary action against teachers-but this would be difficult.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
From: GUEST,Nelson
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 02:02 PM

One thing for sure, if Ireland Junior's daddy gets involved, little IJ will be in for a much bumpier ride from the bullies.

Maybe little IJ should take a hint from the girl and make sure he knows how to use the rubber.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
From: Ireland
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 02:02 PM

He can suck it up,I asked for help not smart quips.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 02:01 PM

Hi, Ireland - I take it you're in the UK, and I can't say I know much about schools here. Still, I've worked with kids all my life, and they're the same world 'round.
I think it helps to encourage kids to solve conflicts in a positive manner. The first step is to have your child imagine he is the other person, and think about what that other person may be thinking. If he learns to understand and respect the other person's point of view, that's a good starting point for resolving conflicts peacefully.
In most bullying situations, the victim is partly responsible for making himself a victim, so it's a good idea to investigate what your child is doing to invite bullying.
Maybe the school has a counselor who can help you and your child work this through. Confrontation rarely helps - try to find peaceul means of resolution.
-Joe Offer-


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: bullying advice
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 01:46 PM

"This has changed my son so much he is displaying behavior totally alien to him"

Well, that's a 12 year old boy for ya... alien! LOL


"a young lady threw a rubber"

I assume you mean an erasor right? Cause over here, if a young lady is throwing 'rubbers' around, she'd better be prepared to put them to good use!!!!

LOL

Serioulsy... kids are kids... Your kid sounds very familliar... These are the yeras that shape the young adult... he's gonna have to suck it up and find a way to deal with it...

Sounds to me though, like this teacher needs to get fired...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: bullying advice
From: Ireland
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 01:39 PM

I know that this is a music site but I hope there are mucatters who may have some help and advice. I hope there are some with knowledge of the education British system.

My youngest son (12)is in his 2nd year at High School, he was bullied by people in his class.

Anyhow I have asked numerous times for the bullying to be stopped and have been let down. This has changed my son so much he is displaying behavior totally alien to him.

Here is were I need the help, an incident happened yesterday were a young lady threw a rubber at him while in technology class, they were left unattended, stupidly my son threw it back. As soon as the teacher returned the girl complained and my son got punished. The teacher acknowledged that the girl only wanted to get him into trouble,which she giggled and laughed off. The teacher left the room and the girl said got you into trouble basically gloating.

My son was given line the girl was let off,I took acception to this and contacted the school. This morning the teacher had a go at him saying you go home crying to your dad because you misbehaved, he called my son disgraceful while those who bullied him could hear, after admitting that he knew the girl wanted to get him in trouble, he said that he did not see the girl throw a thing.

This guy is now bullying my son pointing him out making comments and snide remarks all in-front of bullies, who have said they will do anything to get my son in trouble.

I do not know how to handle this besides bapping the teacher one and showing him how it feels like to be bullied.

Any help legal points are more than welcome I don't want blood just to address the problem.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate


 


This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 26 October 2:11 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.