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BS: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans

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Art Thieme 30 Nov 02 - 07:58 PM
khandu 30 Nov 02 - 08:00 PM
Jeri 30 Nov 02 - 09:14 PM
Cluin 30 Nov 02 - 09:51 PM
Cluin 30 Nov 02 - 09:53 PM
katlaughing 30 Nov 02 - 11:18 PM
Hrothgar 01 Dec 02 - 04:26 AM
GUEST 01 Dec 02 - 04:28 AM
Boab 01 Dec 02 - 04:37 AM
Art Thieme 01 Dec 02 - 01:11 PM
belfast 02 Dec 02 - 08:25 AM
Declan 02 Dec 02 - 08:31 AM
Dave Bryant 02 Dec 02 - 10:04 AM
artbrooks 02 Dec 02 - 03:41 PM
Art Thieme 02 Dec 02 - 05:49 PM
GUEST,Claymore 02 Dec 02 - 06:34 PM

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Subject: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Art Thieme
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 07:58 PM

I beg to differ with that earlier thread. I have it on exceptionally good authority that these instruments have never, ever, had any role at all in, or any capacity for, reproduction.

Conversely, bodhrans originated (originally), and, indeed, were invented to be used as diaphragms by and for her royal highness Catherine The Great --- a role they filled admirably !

On the other hand, the banjo was invented to be an I.U.D. for this same person after she had her fouteenth unwanted child and her bodhran (which, after all, is only a banjo without a neck) proved to be not up to the task and the problem it had been devised to solve.

Art Thieme


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: khandu
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 08:00 PM

Bodhrans were not designed to prevent contraception from bull semen. That is why she started using the banjo!

k


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 09:14 PM

I thought they were originally condrums for Alexander the Really Great. They eventually outlived their usefulness, got stiff and were mounted.


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 09:51 PM

They have a great contraceptive history.

Bodhraneers almost never get laid.


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 09:53 PM

Which is why they've developed the necessary wrist action.


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 11:18 PM

I've heard that the heating up to make them tighter caused some phallic burning and so it was the gods rutted in great conflagrations leaving behind a scorched earth now known as the Mojave.


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Hrothgar
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 04:26 AM

The bodhran players use them as contraceptives. Nobody will risk pregnancy resulting from a relationship with a bodhran player.


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 04:28 AM

PLEASE Joe, BS not TECH

Thank you


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Boab
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 04:37 AM

---Maybe the Celts had an inspired thought of one more thing they could get from sheep and goats???


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Subject: RE: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Art Thieme
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:11 PM

I have now, it seems, officially left the ranks of the trad curmudgeons and become one of the the BS-ers. As the bodhran pounder said after breaking his wrist, "If ya cannot beat 'em (any more), join 'em."

(sheepishly) art thieme


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Subject: RE: BS: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: belfast
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 08:25 AM

How come no one has pointed out how many bodhran players would be totally incompetent if they tried to use the "rhythm method"?


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Subject: RE: BS: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Declan
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 08:31 AM

Oh yes they did Here


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Subject: RE: BS: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:04 AM

Jeri - The rumour that was current after Catherine the Great's death was that she was trying to fornicate with a stallion, not a bull, so it would have been equine not bovine semen. Anyway the story is not given any credence these days as the stallion completely denied it in interviews he gave to the "Sun", "News of the World", And "Daily Sport" later.

Bodhrans were originally used as sieves in the Irish Talcum Powder Industry.


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Subject: RE: BS: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhran
From: artbrooks
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 03:41 PM

Well....I do have a rubber tipper....


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Subject: RE: BS: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: Art Thieme
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 05:49 PM

In asking if the horse did, in fact, do it with her, they asked for a YEA or NAY answer. And the horse said, "NEIGH"

Art


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Subject: RE: BS: Tech: The contraceptive history of bodhrans
From: GUEST,Claymore
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 06:34 PM

Well, when Big Mick saw my "Great Bodhran of Death" (26") at the Getaway, his first words were "Damn, you really are bigger, like you said". And then he looked down at my feet (size 12) and just whistled...

(At 5'8", my father used to say when I took off my shoes, I was half undressed...)


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