BS: Live or artificial?

Subject: BS: Live or artificial?
From: ballpienhammer
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 09:13 PM

Christmas Tree ,that is.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: CarolC
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 10:05 PM

Mine's artificial. It sings and dances, and it has a face. The eyes and mouth open and close, and the eyes light up.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Mr Happy
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 10:44 PM

guess i'll unearth 'the ol' fashion' tree- trim'd with tinsel thats show'rd in candlelight'

unreal but jolly- cats like 2 play with the balls & trinkets on the tree.

also decorate the big houseplants with sparkly stuff- allthat glisters is not chistmus tree!

& roast my chesnuts in front of the fire & make sure my yule log stays up!!

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: artbrooks
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 11:15 PM

None

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 11:32 PM

This surprises me- I thought I was fairly alone in putting up a couple of artificial ones. One is huge and the other a table topper. I load them heavily with new ornaments, keepers, homemade ones, ribbons and strands. Then I put newly cut spruce and pine branches on every ledge and hang a wreath on the door.

My brother and I were once arguing the matter; I reminded him that cutting a live tree kills it- and where is the magic in that? While mine used a resource only once in its long life.

I also like to pile Christmas tree balls in crystal bowls and let the light reflect off them.

Some years, however, I don't put up a tree up at all. Since my daughter isn't home I don't feel pressured to do it, so it varies. Some years I just don't get into the spirit at all. I don't worry about it any more.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 11:45 PM

We didn't have room for a tree for many years, and by the time they get to market they've been cut for so long that they're terribly dry. They start cutting them around Labor Day. I spent enough years fighting forest fires that I find the prospect of intentionally placing a dry torch in the middle of my home a rather risky proposition.

For many years I have used a macrame hanger and basket that is lined with light strings. It's a wide and relatively shallow basket that I fill with gifts, and leave the rest of the gifts beneath it.

This year we have room for a huge tree if we want it, but I can't afford it. The live trees that grow best locally have been pruned to give them the bushy look, and will look pretty bizarre for a few years out in the yard until the whorls grow out naturally. But that might be the way I go. Or I may finally finish the wall hanging that I started to use in lieu of a tree--I make an applique green tree with nylon net over the top of it and quilted it onto a red and gold background. The idea is to hang this entire thing on the wall like a quilt and loop a few glass ornaments into the mesh and let them hang from it like from a real tree. I wonder where I packed that thing away when I was getting ready to move?

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 11:59 PM

I have two real plastic trees. A big one that my wife decorates beautifully, and a table top one that I load down with humorous ornaments I've picked up over the years... Homer Simpson, Garfield as a nutcracker, just bought a spiderman ornament... plus some hand made wooden ornaments... a lot of fun..

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: DonMeixner
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:26 AM

We always stalk and kill our own. Nothing beats the thrill of the hunt. A man alone in the wilderness with nothing but a saw and a compass and maybe a flask of Old Stump Blower to keep you warm as you ssit in a tree stand waiting for the right shrub to present itself. I prefer my Pro-Mac 12 for the quick, clean kill. Nothing beats 4 Hp of possitive rotational power and 12" bar with a deep rake chain. That way I haven't to follow a sap trail for days. Looking for a drip of sap or a bit of fir. Searching the hills for days looking for a wounded Balsaam can really make the hunt uncomfortable. But when you bring down a seven footer with out a split top or a flat spot to hide in the corner, what could be a better trophy than that.

Don

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:19 AM

We go scrounging around on the vacant acreage adjoining our property until we find a small cedar or juniper that's growing someplace where it's not getting much sunlight. We dig it up, re-plant it in a big pot and decorate it for the holidays. When the season's over we transplant it to a nice sunny unobstructed spot on our property. Then we have the pleasure of watching a skinny little runt turn into a nice healthy tree.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Mudlark
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 02:27 AM

Used to always cut a cedar from the breaks on the back 40 when on the farm in Arkansas. Now I haunt the local tree lots for the cheapo oddball trees--flat sided, lopsided, holes big enough to drive a toy truck thru, all work for me just fine. As long as it's under $10 I can make it shine. I've been collecting ornaments for a long time and enjoy renewing my acquaintance with them once a year.

I also usually indulge in a "rosemary tree"...or other equally tiny equavalent--I've got a separate set of miniature lights and ornaments for that.

The house is not really big enough for a tree--I have to take one of the 4 chairs out of the living room to fit it in, but come night and the lights go on, it is the soul of the season to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 03:06 AM

Real one in a pot growing outdoors. Bring it in every other year... it's a bit scabby but still alive. Mother bought it as a 12in table top plant about 10 years ago covered in artificial snow and trashy ornaments, now it's a 4ft tree. Covered it in black cherries and popcorn year... the candlelight reflecting softly off a pound of juicy black cherries is beautiful.

Also have 3 artificial trees now.. Bratling persuaded me to buy a vile 4ft fibre optic one, that has the most disgusting range of colours. I have a tiny 8in one for my work desk, and now I have a 2ft inflatable one in luminous green. My workstation has about 20 plants around it, one of which (Devil's Ivy) stretches about 6ft, so that's going to get the tinsel treatment.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: smallpiper
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 04:33 AM

HUMBUG!

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: mooman
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 05:14 AM

A "perennial" growing in a large pot outside ....like Liz!

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: songs2play
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 05:22 AM

We've got a nice artificial one for the living room, which my good lady decorates, and does a very good job of.
and a real one planted in the garden which we put lights on.
God bless us everyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 06:11 AM

We use artificial most years. No needles to stab you when fresh, or to get everywhere when dead.
The 'green' comments don't usually come into the eqution as the trees are quick growing and a renewable resource. (would they ever be planted on such a scale if the were not due to be cut down so frequently?) Our local council does a seperate collection of the dead trees some time after twelth night, and uses an industrial trimmer to render them down as usable waste.
On a similar 'green' theme, would there be any cattle in Britain (except for zoos) if everyone became vegetarian?

Why not a bonsai fir?

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 07:15 AM

G'day ballpeinhammer,

I have used a fairly minimal artificial tree, because it is a lot less trouble, here in an inner suburb of Sydney. Real pine sheds pretty smartly in midsummer heat.

I don't have any moral objection to "real Pine" Xmas trees - they are not dead trees per se because they are normally (around here, anyway) branches trimmed from plantation Radiata Pine ... in the course of growing nice straight construction timber. If someone (else) didn't buy them as Xmas trees - they would be burnt as waste!

I wish we could expect a cool yule!

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 07:17 AM

Ya' know, the first time I met Paw, Cletus and Buford, they were selling a kind of artificial/live tree combo......If you haven't heard about that time..................

Every year as Christmas approaches I can't help but remember the first time I met Cletus, Paw, and Buford......

I had noticed an area on Rt. 664 just outside of our little village being carefully prepared and roped off as I drove by and every now and then there were these three guys working there, building a little shed and driving stakes into the ground about 6 feet apart. It finally dawned on me that they were getting ready to sell Christmas trees. Now I have always gotten ours from the same place for years, but the prices were getting pretty steep so I kept an eye out for new sources. The day they put up the lights, I stopped to see when they'd be bringing the trees in.

As I got out of the van I couldn't help but notice that these three, from all appearances, were a bit "down on their luck" and it made me want to help them out a bit. Cletus came up to me and introduced himself and I asked about the trees. He was glad to tell me all about them in that way which I've since learned to interpret. At that time however all I could seem to understand was that they were "working on them." These many years later, that kind of phrase would set off alarms, but I didn't know Cletus then so I thought it was just an odd hilljack way of phrasing things. Paw came over and I liked the old guy a lot right away. He said he'd seen me before and I remembered something about the sewage plant and the day it exploded. I couldn't place what it was that this guy had to do with it but the correlation seemed quite vivid. I shook his hand and he farted in return.

I had never met anyone who was quite so casual with flatulence. Paw used it almost as punctuation......."How ya' doin'?" (rriippp) "Purty day ain't she?" (bbraawwmmpp)..........Let's say it took some getting used to and made it easy to understand why this old coot could probably not find gainful employment. But for all that, he was a friendly cuss who told me they called him Paw because he was from Paw-Paw, West Virginia. He pointed out the other fellow named Buford who was involved in extricating himself from a string of Christmas lights that seemed to have attacked him. Even from a distance, the unmistakable smell of Iron City brew was pretty strong. I figured he spilled about the same amount on himself as he drank and I later found this to be not only true, but the amounts involved were prodigious.

All in all, I couldn't help but like them even if they were, well, let's just call them odd and drop it right there. They told me the trees would be in and they'd be open for business on Friday at 6 PM. I left shaking my head at the idea of bringing Karen and the kids to "pick out the tree" as was so traditional with our family. What the hell? We could at least check them out.

On Friday afternoon Karen and I were going into Lancaster and as we passed by I pointed out the place, not that it was really necessary to point. I'd never seen anything quite so garish in my life but it was one of those gray Ohio days, very cold and occasionally spitting snow so perhaps it was the contrast......perhaps not. Karen was making comments about the place, but as we drove past we could both see the trees that were now in place quite well. Surprisingly enough, they looked magnificent! All were very full and perfectly shaped and a greener bunch of Christmas trees I'd never seen. Even at 65 mph, Karen saw one on the far end of the first row that she said was absolutely "the one!" Since she and our kids were going to spend the night with Connie and go shopping on Saturday, I promised her I'd stop back and get the tree and forget the tradition for one year.

So on my return trip I looked at my watch and saw that I'd arrive about the time Cletus told me they would open and sure enough, I was the first one there. Cletus, Paw, and Buford, greeted me as a long lost friend. They were really in the Christmas Spirit and offered me some of their "spirits." Friends, there is 'Shine and then there is 'Shine and whatever it was they had in the Mason jars was not. I found out later that this was a homebrew of their own and made not from corn, but soybeans instead, and distilled through an old radiator off a Mack. Luckily I only tasted it, but that single gulp went down like a 4-stage rocket, taking my breath away, and immediately starting to bore a hole in my stomach. After the coughing subsided I gave them the common courtesy line you use upon tasting any 'Shine..........."Smooth!"

They were all adorned themselves with some of the seediest Santa hats I had ever seen and were ready for business. They said I was the first customer and I nodded appreciatively while glancing about at the trees. Even up at a closer viewing they seemed almost perfectly formed and beautifully green and I thought the light snow must be the reason they glistened so under the glaring bulbs. It was dark now and the temperature had dropped to about 25 with a nasty northwesterly blowing in a chill from Alberta. My eyes were no longer crossed from the 'Shine and I slowly became aware that something was odd about the trees. They weren't moving at all. Not a branch, not a needle, absolutely nothing was moving although the breeze was pretty stiff. Paw commented on the weather and let fly an air biscuit as I walked over to the tree Karen had seen earlier. I reached out to touch it and it was positively stiff!

I felt several branches and the whole thing down to the smallest needle was like glass. I put a little extra pressure on a needle and it shattered in my gloved hand. What the hell was this anyway? Cletus came up and asked how I liked them as Paw and Buford tossed wood in a barrel to start a warming fire. I said I thought these were real trees, but they seemed to be artificial. Cletus protested they were real.......and recycled. Once in awhile you hear sommething that is so completely ridiculous that it takes some time before you can absorb the fact that the speaker is completely serious. Recycled Christmas trees. My mind was slowly opening to the sound of Cletus' voice proudly telling the tale of how they collected them last year and then formed them up, glued in branches with rubber cement, gave them several coats of shellac, painted them with spray cans of "Yew Be Green" epoxy, and topped the job off with several coats of lacquer.

I stared at the tree. I stared at Cletus. I stared at the tree. I stared at Cletus. I stared at the tree. I stared at Cletus. Cletus noticed I was a bit pale and pulled me by the arm over to the shed where Paw and Buford had finished filling the barrel and were dumping gasoline onto the contents. Cletus said that I should have another drink and then Paw asked if I was cold. I nodded vacantly, my mind still unable to absorb the insanity which surrounded me. Then I heard Cletus say, "Hey Paw, show him how we light a fire."

With that, Paw bent over pointing his butt at the barrel, Buford held a Zippo to his ass, and Paw ripped a monster of a fart, something akin to a Cherry Bomb in it's magnitude. An enormous flame shot out of his ass and ignited the barrel which flared high in the air. But it was a truly huge blaster and the flames not only ignited the barrel, but the nearest recycled Christmas trees. Coated as they were with such a combustible mixture, they didn't catch fire, they friggin' exploded! Bits of flaming plastic-like shards went flying away on the wind to explode the next tree, and the next, and the next. Within 30 seconds the remnants of every tree was flaming brightly and in less than a minute the flames were gone and 50 smoldering sticks were all that remained. None of us had moved and Paw was still bent over and looking over his shoulder at the charred remains of their business.

The next day when I picked Karen up, we stopped at our usual place and picked out a lovely Frazier Fir. I had told her the story and that I figured that here was a case where a single fart may not have saved the world, but at least did save 50 home fires. We stopped at their place and the boys were cleaning up the mess and told us it probably meant a Christmas that would be a little bleak for them. Karen is a kind soul and right then and there invited them to our place for Christmas Day. She said they should come early and maybe Santa will have left something for them and that they would be welcome for Christmas dinner too. As we drove home I tried to explain that this probably wasn't a great idea but Karen felt pretty bad for them and they had cheerfully accepted her invitation.

On Christmas morning they arrived at 6 AM and the day went downhill from there. But that's another story.

So friends, no matter how bad it is and how you feel, there is always a friend out there for you. Even if you're obnoxious, nasty, and haven't bathed in a month, there is always the chance that if you can light a good fart, miracles will occur.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:28 AM

I decorate my cast iron Channukah bush with miniature ham hocks. Painted gold.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 11:40 AM

Artificial, only three feet tall so it can sit on the table, unmolested by family pets!

One year Mister and I decided we could get a larger tree. We only have room for one, so it would mean not putting up the small tree. I found one that was perfect. But just as I bent down to pick up the box, I thought, "No!!! I love my itty bitty tree!!!!!!"

I still have the itty bitty tree and have never again entertained the thought of getting anything larger.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:00 PM

Kim: if you're satisfied with a small one, there is no need for something larger.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: NicoleC
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:01 PM

I put up a Christmas tree mostly for the cat. She's 9 years old and fairly sedate, but getting all the boxes and shiny ornaments out for her the day after Thanskgiving turns her into a kitten. Once the tree is up, however, she's content to hide beneath it and stare up at the lights reflecting off the ornaments.   (I don't have a tree-climber kitty, fortunately.)

I have an artificial I use every year. Trees may be renewable, but I still think it's sad and wasteful to kill something that has been growing for 5-10 years for the sake of decoration that lasts a month. My artificial tree looks better than most of the real ones anyway, and sheds a lot less.

I know some misguided folks whole buy an artificial tree *every year* for the sake of the "environment." All attempts to explain to them that it takes energy, usually non-renewable, including petreoleum-based plastic needles, to make a fake tree have failed to make a dent in spreading the idea that you should buy a decent artificial, and then REUSE it.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Mudlark
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:24 PM

Years ago we were living in a little rental house in Manhattan Beach, and a few days after Christmas the next door neighbor invited us over to look at his "living" tree. In those days, flocking--even painting--trees was in vogue. This clueless neighbor had purchased a cut tree, the kind with the criss-cross boards nailed on to serve as a stand, and after C'mas had planted it in the ground. He was thrilled that it was taking hold so well (despite the fact that he'd not been able to get the stand part off, so had planted that as well), showing us how green it was. Neither of us had the heart to tell this guy that it was only green paint that was holding the needles on the tree. The rest of his yard was a wasteland and his "green" tree was the only relief.

We moved shortly thereafter, so were luckily not around when reality finally hit next door. I'm looking forward to my annual search thru the tree farms...it's lovely wandering around thickly planted pines, firs and redwoods, looking for the telltale yellow discount tags.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Mooh
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:43 PM

I usually prefer the challenge of artificial baits, flies, and lures. Never tried trees, I guess they'd be for the real big fish, right? Slow trolling for the last leviathan, I bet.

(I too hunt and kill my own Christmas tree, but on a tree farm usually, with an old fashioned saw and axe.)

Ho ho, hum. Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:53 PM

You're right, Nigel... and I so enjoy putting up my little tree every year. At first I couldn't find many small non-breakable ornaments, so I made some myself, and I still use a few of those even though I have amassed a pretty good collection by now!

That tree only cost me about $3 at a craft shop. :-)

I also have a little inflatable tree that I put on my desk at work. Last year I bought one for me, and for a friend who was spending Christmas away from home. I put it in a box, with some little trinkety gifts (candies, cocoa, miniature books and the like) and called it "Instant Christmas."

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: GUEST,Taliesn
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 02:35 PM

If it's gonna be my tree it's gonna be "live" because of that wonderful aroma that just triggers all sorts of sense-memory
and , for me ,Christmas time is a time of substantially "heightened" sensations and aesthetics.

Also I've found that there is less of a tendency to "overload" a "live" Christmas tree with so many decorations as to turn the tree into something only Donald Trump could appreciate; in other words *cheapen* the tree into a Broadway production. Something of the spirit of the tree has to be allowed to show through and not just the aroma.

Now I have seen artifical trees that were positively works of art and if I exercised a preferecne it would be for the all white artificial trees as they enhance and augment the light and the reflected colors of the decor. I prefer all white or all blue lights crowned with some elaborate Star of Bethlehem-styled light ornament , and pale gold and silvery ornaments mixed in with my collection of little "classic" St Nicholas figures , but my favorites are still the clear or crystaline "glass ornaments".

I honestly can't stand the burlesque Coca-Cola concocted Santa Claus as an annoying "artificiality" all its own and serves as the icon of all that "cheapens" Christmas with crass marketing of it.
The Coca-cola Santa commands about as much a source for derision as those damned "garden gnomes" , or plastic "pink flamingoes" of Florida-origin .that have been the sport to lampoon and "look" as if they were desgined to annoy one's neighbors.

If nothing else ,Christmas is always about the light and the music and my best Christmases were ,and are, with friends whom break out their guitars playing to only the lights of the Christmas tree....which are enough , yet never more overbaring than a grand candlelabra.

I'm preparing to set up this year's "live" Christmas to make up for not being able to do so last year as I was in the middle of moving. For me a house without a Chrstmas tree during this season seems emptier , hollow , even strangely "artificial" in an odd sort of way. I get far too much joy from this tradition of the lighted tree to pass up being a part of it and it's one of the few western religiously-"inspired" traditions that I'm aware of that invites everyone to join in if just for a day. Charles Dickens helped that.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 11:02 PM

Bought mine artificial circa 1985ish. It cost me approximately $50.00 then. Cut trees of the same size were running only slightly less than this in that same year, and have climbed some since. I figure it's paid for itself and quite a bit more as of now.

However, the real reason I have an artificial tree is that I cannot see the sense in killing a tree every year just to have the nice smell of pine in my home. I can burn pine candles for that and avoid contributing to the tradition of killing at a season that (no matter what holiday you happen to celebrate) is about life.

Trees with root balls are out of the question for me as well...I don't have the time to bury them after the holiday, and they are *really* cost prohibitive.

So, there t'is. The thing here though is, these are my personal morals. Like with my vegetarianism, I don't expect the world to share them. They are just the ethos that guide my own actions.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 11:52 PM

Spaw, I nearly spit my tea all over my keyboard, laughing at your story! Great one!

I have several small elderica pines I planted in the fall this year. In a couple of years I'll have to ride shotgun on the yard to keep my trees in place--I know of people who have lost great yard trees to thieves wanting trees at a five-finger discount price.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Matt
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 03:12 AM

Going home for Christmas holidays, the smell and look of a real tree in the house gives the true Christmas feel.
Isn't that why all the pine tress are grown ?
Come on people - get into the Christmas Spirit.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: C-flat
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 04:48 AM

We usually get a real tree for Xmas but last year, for a change, we tried an artificial one. Looked even better than the real thing but was a real bugger to saw up and burn, come January. Also made the garden smell of burnt plastic for weeks!

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: NicoleC
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 12:53 PM

Call me a wierdo, but the smell of a Christmas tree smells nothing like the smell of a pine forest. I grew up in a pine forest. The smell of a pine forest is rich and complex... to me a Christmas tree just smells like an old tree that is fallen down and is rotting.

Funny how smells linger in your memory, isn't it?

Anyway, I'll stick with vanilla and cloves and cranberry for my holiday smells.

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 07:28 PM

Oi, Mooman, who you calling a Perennial?

And I don't live in a pot.

May have to go buy another baby tree this year... the old one is not happy... it was getting nicely green and bushy in the summer and then we had 3 days of sunny spells whilst I was away. Consequently it didn't get watered enough and has developed some bald spots.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Live or artificial?
From: DonMeixner
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 11:34 PM

For years, ever since Rebekkah was 6 ( now 24) and the twins were two I have had them singing the Christmas Tree Carol.

Christmas Tree , Oh Christmas Tree,

How come you smell like Kitty Pee?

Don