BS: Hu's On First

Subject: BS: Hu's On First
From: Mark Clark
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 08:02 PM

Okay so this isn't music but it came my way and I don't think anyone's posted it yet.

      - Mark

---

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

          HU'S ON FIRST          By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China.
And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Subject: RE: BS: Hu's On First
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 08:34 PM

;~)

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Hu's On First
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 09:58 PM

It's buried back in the "Bush Is a Moron" thread, but it's understandable if you missed it!


A

Subject: Help! Help! JoeClone.
From: Mark Clark
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 10:18 PM

Oops! I did a search before starting this thread but I only searched for the title. The posting in the moron thread is without title or attribution.

Maybe a JoeClone will delete this thread for us.

&ndsp;&ndsp;&ndsp;&ndsp;&ndsp;&ndsp;- Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Hu's On First
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 10:30 PM

Naw, let's leave it. Some of us haven't been in the shrub one. Thanks for posting it. It's hysterical!

Subject: RE: BS: Hu's On First
From: Joe Offer
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 10:57 PM

I think this is the fifth time this has been posted. I deleted most of the others and replaced them with links - but they didn't have their very own thread. I think I'll leave this one. If any others get posted, I'll link to this thread.
So, Mark, you have the honor of being the founder and sole proprietor of the one and only "Hu's On First" thread. I think that it's only right and just that the original "Who's on First" was posted by none other than Catspaw - clique.
-Joe Offer-