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Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story?
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Subject: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: wilco Date: 31 Dec 02 - 09:56 AM Am I the only catter who has been alien abducted? I have encountered several other catters who I'm sure have been abductees: Liz the Squeek, Sorcha, Curmudgeon, etc. When I was six, they arrived in a large orange bus, and they took me to a building full of other small children, many of whom were very strange. They fed us stuff like taco burgers and punch. As we got older, we had these horrible orientation ordeals where they took us in to large rooms where we threw big balls at one another. Awful!! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Cllr Date: 31 Dec 02 - 10:07 AM Well this guy called Allan once took me... oops my mistake Cllr |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Greycap Date: 31 Dec 02 - 10:14 AM I wos once took from my home and made to eat milk puddings 'n' learn sums 'n' reading an things like that. I think it was called skool. I didn't like it.Older peepul said I would know later they wer the best daze of my life - they were wrong. happy New Year to all of you, Roger |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Peter T. Date: 31 Dec 02 - 10:36 AM This is a very sensitive subject. The Waylon Heron was abducted by Betelgueuseans two years ago, and has not really recovered, partly because while it was away it fell in love with a Betelgueusean birdlike creature, not unlike a basketball with wings and a telephone for a face. It continues to haunt backroads near the American Canadian border near Vermont, and has been instrumental in thwarting at least one terrorist raid on some crossborder liquor store, for which it has received the Congressional Medal of Honour, a meeting with Donald Rumsfeld, and spent the evening at the Bush ranch; none of which have assuaged its loss. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: MMario Date: 31 Dec 02 - 10:38 AM I had a very pleasant experience with alien abduction. first they took me to one place where I was forced to listen to many excellent musicans - for hours on end. There were huge numbers of people there. One of the beings then brain-washed me into singing myself. My only excuse was it was very late in the evening. then 18 months later I was abducted again - and taken to a smaller gathering - where again I was forced into listening to excellent music over and over - while dining on food of the best quality; associating with persons named "guido" and "fluffy" - and hearing more verses to "good Night Irene" then I ever knew existed. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Bill D Date: 31 Dec 02 - 10:52 AM all them aliens ignore me! I think I must not give off the right aura or something. Durned unfair, says I! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Jeri Date: 31 Dec 02 - 11:05 AM Bill, you're either the abductee or the alien. Most of us can guess which category you fit into. Haha. I'd like to believe my strangeness was due to being forcibly weirdified by outside forces. Unfortunately, I'm the one driving life's highway looking for the secret map to Wackoville. "Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars" or "Beam me up Scotty. they're watching re-runs of 'Three's Company' down here." Peter T, I noticed the signs leading to the border: "Aerial Surveillance" and "Beware of falling bird doo." They were in French, but I'm pretty sure that's what they said. I didn't actually see Waylon Herron but I want to believe he was up there. (P.S. Thread Creep: Do you know the Sci-Fi channel is making 'Tremors' a series?) |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: MMario Date: 31 Dec 02 - 11:17 AM North-South journeys are usually safe - but on east-west trips there is always the danger of falling into the "gap in the map". |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: skarpi Date: 31 Dec 02 - 11:22 AM they are leaving me alone , the alien but why shut they take us/me? We are an alien in a big world full of aliens. It´s my belive that we are not alone in this big world of stars. All the best Skarpi Iceland. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Willie-O Date: 31 Dec 02 - 11:24 AM It all started when I innocently entered an unusual basement on Kingston Road in Toronto...don't know what the hell happened. I was quickly surrounded by wooden things covered with strings. Then again, I have always sought out such environments. Musta been fate. W-O |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Ebbie Date: 31 Dec 02 - 11:48 AM Peter T, I too have met the wailin' heron. I didn't know about the bottlejuice. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: SINSULL Date: 31 Dec 02 - 12:02 PM Thought I was recently but it turned out to be the fan on my bedroom ceiling. God! I hate that thing. Happy New Year, all. Aliens included. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Dec 02 - 01:00 PM I was once abducted by a Native American woman named Mary, who consumed 2 and a half years of my life, a lot of my money, and all of my patience, tolerance, and good will. - LH |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: CarolC Date: 31 Dec 02 - 01:13 PM I'm married to an alien. Only when I go to where he's from, I'll be the alien. And when we get his papers and mine all straightened out, then neither of us will be aliens. He never abducted me though. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: X Date: 31 Dec 02 - 02:07 PM I have become unstuck in time...I'm on a small planet named Tralfamador...Never mind, here comes Montana Wildcat. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Cluin Date: 31 Dec 02 - 02:18 PM I think my guitar was abducted by aliens. It's now covered with many scratches, dings and other marks I know I didn't put there. And I think they rigged it to send secret messages to their mother-ship too--Only way I can explain those strange buzzes and hums it's making now when I play it plugged in. Fuckin' aliens... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Donuel Date: 31 Dec 02 - 02:34 PM As fate would have it, as a clincal hypnotist I was roped into doing work with people who claimed alien abduction and close encounters. I did so reluctantly but refused enumeration for ethical reasons. There were no brain scans to determine if any of these people had temporal lobe epilepsy. Most of the cases were simple sleep paralysis. After 200 cases I remained unconvinced although some people are more talented actors than others. I think Daryl Hardes still has the films of some of these sessions. I still have the Dr. Mack book on abductions - the pre published version that has all the actual names unchanged. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 31 Dec 02 - 03:05 PM Dear Aliens, We respectfully request that you abduct the following humans as soon as alienly possible: George W. Bush John Ashcroft Dick Cheney Donald Rumsfeld In the event your research determines that any of the above are not human, please return them to the planet(s) from whence they came. For those that are human, please endeavor to be certain that your rectal probe is improperly grounded so as to deliver an electrical shock roughly the equivalent of what we humans refer to as a "cattle prod". YEEHAW!!!! Bruce |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: GUEST,Alien Abduction Tours, Ltd. Date: 31 Dec 02 - 04:17 PM for those who still have not experienced the thrill of being abducted, we offer a New Years special!! For only $19.95 + $6.95 handling, YOU can be swooped up from your own front lawn and take a 1 hour trip in our Latest model saucer!, piloted by Hiram Warfle,of Area 54, Nevada, who got his start testing flivvers for Henry Ford, until HE was abducted and spent 48 years with Q'Zork, of Phssssssssstpok, Andromeda, learning to handle the equipment. He promises a ride you'll never forget (if he can get the chickens out of the vents!) Sign up early, only a few seats left. Applications taken only in this thread! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Gorgeous Gary Date: 31 Dec 02 - 05:16 PM Well, I know I'm definitely not from planet Earth originally!! (As I'm sure Bill and any of the other FSGW folks here will tell you... -- Gary |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Dec 02 - 05:21 PM Hmmmm... Well, Hiram's saucer is mighty unimpressive next to the real alien ones I saw. On the other hand, his hourly rates are more than reasonable, and I haven't seen any sign of those other guys for a very long time now, nor do I know how to reach them... What the hell. I can spare a little cash. Beam me aboard, Hiram! My front lawn is in Orillia, Ontario, not far from Prices Corners. If you know your starship stuff you shouldn't have any trouble finding it. I will be ready to embark by 6 PM tonight, cash in hand. If possible, I'd like to do a quick cruise down to Trinidad, to say hello, and then Cuba, and then Mexico. I have fond memories of all those places. I am willing to buy 4 hours of your flight time. Don't disappoint me, Hiram! - LH |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Amos Date: 31 Dec 02 - 06:20 PM My heart goes out to that guy in the saucer-in-a-barn picture. There but for the grace of god.... :>) A |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Cluin Date: 31 Dec 02 - 06:23 PM It looks like he's been working so hard on it that he forgot to go to the toilet for about a week. At least he could have changed the overalls for the picture. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Jeri Date: 31 Dec 02 - 06:27 PM Bill D, I wasn't too far off, eh? "Starpower" makes more sense now. Is that a relative of yours? |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: GUEST,Hiram W. Date: 31 Dec 02 - 06:53 PM Yessir, Mr. Little Hawk, we are sure on the way! You stand out clear of the house, now, 'cause we don't want to accidental, like, pick up anyone who ain't registered. Now, if we are a mite late, don't worry--we got lost over them big lakes once, but I think my GPS (Galactic Postitioning System) has been calibrated for Canada now. Oh--sorry, no flights over Cuba right now. Our man there (wears a long beard) gets homesick and wants a ride to buzz Moscow everytime he sees a ship. But we'll try to make them other places. 'scuse me, now, I got to go tune up the supergravity, de-hydrating cosmic ossifier, so the positronic snarkle don't transmogrify no power grids on the way. (You saw what happend in that "Close Encounters" movie a few years back? Me and my boys provided some of the special effects! Yessir!) (Durn sorry not to offer you the super model you saw before, but the local franchise gets only the local, sub-light speed jitneys.) Oh--no pictures. You understand. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: GUEST Date: 31 Dec 02 - 06:56 PM Aha. Aliens do Bobert impersonations. That's how we can spot them. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Banjer Date: 31 Dec 02 - 07:02 PM Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here!! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: RangerSteve Date: 31 Dec 02 - 07:12 PM Aliens took over a music store in Bucks County, PA and tricked me into buying a hammered dulcimer. I have cataracts, not serious, but enough to mess up my distance judgement, so I can't really tell the difference between the courses of strings running over or under the bridge. It's sitting next to my computer right now, mocking me. This was part of a test to see how easily earthlings could be induced into buying things they don't need, or want. Another time, I was coerced by aliens into voluntarily driving to their secret base, a bleak, unfriendly area cleverly hidden among a quaint Victorian sea-side resort town on the New Jersey coast, where stern, unsmiling extra-terrestrials with no necks yelled at me for weeks on end, and put me through all kinds of physical and mental hardships with little sleep and BAD food for 18 weeks. When they let me go, I was told me to tell my friends that I was at a police academy. In return for my silence, I was given a good paying job, which led to my purchase of the hammered dulcimer. Now that I think about it, the whole thing is a test to see what stupid things earthlings will do when given enough money. I wish they'd sell me a winning lottery ticket. Then I'd really show them. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Dec 02 - 11:27 PM It requires a *soul* to make that observation, Banjer. That is, you must have a soul to know the difference between intelligence and the total lack thereof. (Point this out to Bill D if you see him, and be prepared for a long, long, philosophical debate that may just bore you to tears... :-) Look, Hiram, I told you Cuba, and I meant it! I will not go if you don't fly to Cuba, and that is precisely why you did NOT find me outside at 6 PM tonight. I watched though, and I never saw you, so I think your ossifier and your snarkle gear are malfunctioning anyway. - LH |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Gareth Date: 01 Jan 03 - 04:24 AM Hmmm ! Little Hawk, ever thought of Hijacking them to Cuba ??? Gareth |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: reggie miles Date: 01 Jan 03 - 04:49 AM I had an encounter once but not abduction. At least, if it did happen, I wasn't aware of it. One summer evening, while at my maternal grandparents home in northern Wisconsin, I was awakened suddenly. Their house, a single floor dwelling, was not large. There were only two small bedrooms. My brother and I had to share the hide-a-bed/sofa that was in a small addition located at the front of the house. It was kind of an enclosed porch with an exterior glass door and large windows on all three sides that looked out across the front yard. The sunroom served as a dining room for all of the special gatherings that took place at my grandparents home and too, as was the case that evening, as an extra bedroom. I don't know what it was that awoke me from a sound sleep that night. I only remember the sound of what must have been the engine of the craft and the brightness of the light that shined through the slats of the roll down shades that covered the windows of the room. The sound was not like anything I had ever heard before or since. It wasn't very loud but constant, as the sound of the fans on computer are now, kind of a steady humming or whirring. The light was very bright and stayed, as if hovering, in one place, at the front of the house, almost directly over the front porch where we slept, for several minutes. My first feeling was panic. I felt froze with fear. I remember thinking that I could hide under my blankets and maybe it would just go away. I tried to do so, but of course it did not. The sound was still there and so was the intense bright white light. After a few moments I felt foolish to think I could evade what was happening that way. My next thought was that I had to get out of there. I quickly jumped from beneath the blankets and crouched beside the bed in my pajamas. The vinyl floor felt cold to my bare feet. I looked about the room at the bright light that streaked through the shades from above. It was coming from above the house and so was the sound. I couldn't imagine what it must have been. I knew only that it frightened me. I wondered if there might be room beneath the bed to hide or where I could go within the house to escape. It wasn't long afterward, as I crouched shivering with fear beside the bed trying to take in all of what was going on around me, that the sound and the light started to fade. It seemed to move toward the back of the house. As quickly as I could muster the courage, I raced to the bathroom at that back of the house to look out the window. It over looked the field that lay behind the house and barn. There it was, moving slowly but steadily away, flying just above the treetops. It was dark and I couldn't make out a shape clearly but it's size looked to be about half the size of my grandparents small home. It was dark in color and therefore difficult to see against the night sky. Knowing how utterly ridiculous it might sound to my siblings to even bring up such a fantastic story, I was hesitant to do so but nevertheless did try to breach the subject the next day. As I suspected it might, my story brought on an immediate response of teasing and laughter from my brothers and sisters who had all slept through the previous evening's remarkable event. Not willing to endure the taunts, I stopped insisting on the validity of my story and spoke no more of it. I don't know why, but it never occurred to me to awaken my brother who was sleeping beside me in bed. Who they may have wanted, or what the purpose for their visit was, is still a mystery to me. I've never seen or had another encounter since. It wasn't until last year that I even thought about it again and I told my mother about it. She stated that she too saw it through the bedroom window that looked out behind the house. I was surprised to hear her say that. I had no idea, until then, that anyone else had actually seen what I had witnessed. Take that all of you teasing nonbelievers. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: GUEST Date: 01 Jan 03 - 07:28 AM A good friend absolutely believes he has frequently been abducted. Any reference to the subject causes him intense fear & anger,so I can't see this as a laughing matter. That this person believes it wass a shock - but even more so is just how many people do. I don't believe it happened - but I can't prove a negative - nor can you who mock. People through the centuries have believed in & feared angels, 'old Hags', succubi, demons, trolls, golems, etc etc & more recently ... aliens. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Cluin Date: 01 Jan 03 - 09:20 AM When I was a little kid, I thought the boogyman was made out of snot. I was a-scared! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: *#1 PEASANT* Date: 01 Jan 03 - 09:48 AM I would like to be abducted by aliens. Preferably Morris aliens,or wassail aliens but bonfire boy aliens would also do. -get me out of this jungle of suburbanite louts and plastic paddys and teatotaling fools.... Conrad |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: the lemonade lady Date: 01 Jan 03 - 10:28 AM I'm not sure if this qualifies as 'aliens' but...I have a magic coalshed. When I go out to get coal on a windy rainy night my family/friends think I've been gone just a few minutes. Actually I've been to a Greek island for a two week break! If I could transport this 'time machine' I'd visit other friends, and when they look a bit bored, transport them and myself. We may appear to have gone into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee but....! Oooh the possibilites!! (Oh dear now my imagination is running wild) Happy New Year everyone. Sal |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Charley Noble Date: 01 Jan 03 - 10:34 AM We were visiting my grandparents in Brooklyn, my brother and I, back in the 1950's when we were probably about 9 and 12, during Easter vacation. We'd left winter in Maine far behind, miles and miles of railroad track between their converted carriage house/studio on Hicks Street and the family farm on Georgetown Island. Grandmother, a militant atheist, announced one morning over breakfast that she was taking us to St. Pat's so we could "see the show." We didn't have a clue, being raised as heathen. What an immense tall stone building, surrounded by even taller office buildings, and once inside what splendor to behold. And the vestments, and the incense, and the incomprehensible chanting and singing. Alien space, indeed! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: GUEST,Nick Date: 01 Jan 03 - 12:05 PM I would like to object to the way this tread has been abducted. Without the B.S. prefix I could only assume that this was going to be music related i.e. what sort of music did the aliens play while abducting you? Did they use a plectrum, or the ulniated bones of the four eyed Nebular Greefark of Talius 54? I expected a literate discussion....BUt no, others who perhaps think it is funny to go off topic have perverted this potentially fabulous thread for their juvenile purposes. Can we please just remain in our sacred, narrow little window of discussion? Lets try to remember people this is A FOLK SITE, so no stories about big band alien abductions. In fact if these abductors did not play the banjo with at least half their tendrils the whole posting belongs on another site. My God is there no way to enforce just a few simple rules of etiquette when it comes to music related alien abduction stories? Have you people no respect for MY TIME? Furthermore have you people not bothered to check the archives? These questions have been asked and answered billions and billions of times before. For the love of the lord Neeticon if I have to wade through even just one more of these mislabeled, repetitive Alien abduction threads I think I shall pull all the hair out of at least four of my five heads......ooops Perhaps I've said enough Nick |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Bill D Date: 01 Jan 03 - 12:38 PM ah, Nick, I used to have the same fantasy as you...but now I accept that this is a site where people who are 'mostly' folk talk about everything in the universe between their music realted topics...just as they would if they met at a tavern or festival. Management has decreed that this is how it will be, and it is fun, though I am on record as wishing that the BS were on parallel threads. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: reggie miles Date: 01 Jan 03 - 12:42 PM I found this one years ago and like most of my material I let it simmer for about twenty years in an old mayonaise jar buried under the back porch to see if it could stand the test of time. Well, it has and I've recently added it to my mildewed bag of "Songs Better Left Unsung But I'm Singin'em Anyway". Flying Saucers Our marriage used to be, Like the sweetest harmony. Everything was peachy at the start. But like a rocket to the moon, It was over much too soon. The day she hit my head she broke my heart. (chorus)------------------------------------------------------------- (sound of saucers crashing followed by moans of owww!, 3x progressively louder) Flying saucers Flying saucers Flying from the hands of my wife Flying saucers Flying saucers Are breaking up my happy wedding life --------------------------------------------------------------------- Last night I sure was blist, when she threw a plate and missed. I cried, "This is goodbye to our romance!" But she pleaded as she said, "Though that plate just missed your head, I'm your wife and I deserve a second chance." (chorus) So to science I declare, For those saucers in the air, You don't have to look to Jupiter or Mars. You can solve this mystery. Find a woman who is free. Marry her and you will soon be seeing stars. (chorus) |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: reggie miles Date: 01 Jan 03 - 12:48 PM Oops! in my haste I miss typed the chorus. It should read, Flying saucers, Flying saucers, Flying from the hands of my wife. Flying saucers, *Cups and saucers,* Are breaking up my happy wedding life. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Rick Fielding Date: 01 Jan 03 - 12:56 PM Jeezus! Fifty seven years on this planet and I've yet to be succed by a Succubus! I KNOW they're all around....succing buses I guess. Ive seen pictures of them and they all seem to look a bit like Jean Simmons in Spartacus, so that's pretty good, but I just never seem to meet them. By the way Willie-O, I sit in my basement LONGING to be abducted by aliens......before Mudcat, I used to watch Seinfeld, waiting for it to happen. Cheers Rick |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Jeri Date: 01 Jan 03 - 12:57 PM Nick, I'd like to point out that you furthered the BS content. You could have expounded on the use of the "ulniated bones of the four eyed Nebular Greefark of Talius 54" but NO. I'm not familiar with that instrument...thing...whatever. It could have been a good discussion. What do you play? I'd imagine with the five heads it would be easy for you to play the Arcturian nose quatro-flute whilst accompanying yourself on something requiring hands. Mind you, I'm just assuming you have hands...and noses. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Alien Abductions: Your story? From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jan 03 - 01:22 PM Conrad, the wisest and most gifted people I've EVER met...don't drink alcohol! Where does that put you, ol' buddy? :-) - LH |
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