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Subject: Lyr Add: COUSIN JOHN AND COUSIN MABEL (Homer&Jethr From: Jim Dixon Date: 22 May 16 - 11:09 PM COUSIN JOHN AND COUSIN MABEL Words by Cy Coben; tune: "Humoresque" As recorded by Homer & Jethro on "Cornfucius Say" (1964) Cousin John and Cousin Mabel Wanted kids but weren't able. John went to a doctor who told him: "Eat lots o' seafood for a year." John made that seafood disappear. It did no good but you should see him swim. Mabel said: "The fault is mine. I think that it's adoption time." And soon a bundle she was holdin' tight. She cuddled it and kitchy-cooed While John would just set there and brood. He'd have to walk that little dog at night. Mabel was ugly. She was so ugly, She fell down the stairs and it improved her looks a lot. John called her kitten. She must have been a kitten. Folks would look at her and say: "Boy, what a puss she's got!" Mabel bought her John a present. She knew he like huntin' pheasant. She bought a bird dog with a shaggy coat. Now John's mad at her, I hear. He's had that bird dog for a year, And that bird dog hasn't sung a note. Cousin John bought Cousin Mabel A fur coat he said was sable. She was proud when he gave it to her. Now his life's not worth a dime. Cats walk behind her all the time Carryin' signs that read: "You murderer!" Mabel kept rabbits Right in their bedroom. Poor John took to sleepin' with a clothespin on his snout. He'd open the window And let fresh air in, But if he did that, then all his pigeons would fly out. Marriage is like jail, no doubt: Getting' in's not hard, it's a-getting' out. Sometimes I think it shouldn't be allowed. Take John and Mabel's friendly tip: Marriage can spoil a good friendship. After the wedding you may find that two's a crowd. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST Date: 29 Jan 16 - 07:43 AM Just spent 30 minutes ( not a penny!)on here.... Radio 3 have just played Humoresque..... I only knew one verse until now... Don't relieve your constipation While the train is in the station Do not leave a mess upon the floor' probably remembered from the early 60s from a work colleague who had been in the Army in World War 2... |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST Date: 26 Jan 16 - 04:20 PM My mother (born in 1919) taught me the first verse. Three others I got from ... I forget, but possibly Oscar Brand's Bawdy Songs. I just read a piece on the New Yorker website about gendered bathrooms, and thought of the verse that I sometimes quote, especially when liberating a men's room, which I have done a few times: If the women's room is taken Do not feel at all forsaken, Never show a sign of sad defeat, Try the men's room 'cross the hall And if a man should have the call He'll courteously relinquish you his seat. As for the tune, Dvorak's "Humoresque," a century ago everyone knew it, and anyone who played the piano could play it. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST,Guest Date: 14 Oct 14 - 12:31 PM You must practice constipation Whilst the train is in the station So as not to crap upon the line Hobos lying underneath Will get it in their hair & teeth And the outlook for them won't be very fine. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: Joe_F Date: 02 Mar 14 - 08:17 PM I once heard a version celebrating the song itself, containing the line So picturesque and yet grotesque. That's all I remember. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST Date: 02 Mar 14 - 11:17 AM Marilyn, I have a couple of words - something about Humoresque and the next line is something ' my arabesque'. Does this call anything to mind? I have been looking for the words for ages. vickey.hunter@att.net |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST Date: 02 Mar 14 - 11:02 AM I know these lyrics are hilarious, but doesn't anyone have the words that are something about a humoresque and then the next line is something about 'my arabesque'. I would be so grateful for any help. We had this sheet music when I was a girl and my mother would play it on the piano while we sang. Then she just got rid of it all; piano, all the sheet music. I don't know why. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: Mr Happy Date: 16 Jul 13 - 05:20 AM http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Train_toilet |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: kendall Date: 28 Feb 13 - 02:30 PM Then there was...Mabel Mabel fresh and able, get your big ass off the table, go on out and find yourself a man... |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST,Raymondi Date: 28 Feb 13 - 02:08 PM If your daughter has to water Ask the porter for a blotter Throw it out the window when she's through(done?) Anybody know the rest of this? Heard it as a kid about 1960 AD. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST Date: 28 Sep 12 - 01:15 PM If you have to pass some water, Ask the porter for a blotter.... |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: dick greenhaus Date: 08 Feb 12 - 04:25 PM Does anyone remember that the tune is a variation on Swanee River? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: Lighter Date: 08 Feb 12 - 11:01 AM More like Brand than Wilde. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST,marilyn Date: 07 Feb 12 - 10:14 PM I remember some of the Lyrics to Humoreque. It goes something like this-- over the stars are beaming through the dusty clouds are gleaming with a tender message in her eyes or something like that. I wish I could get that record. It has been something like 50 years ago that they use to play that on the radio. I always loved that song. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: JohnInKansas Date: 01 Feb 12 - 09:11 PM Probably posted before, but: Nothing looks much better than A young girl in a sweater but The sweater may not be What it appears. Boys, it's recommended That you see what's in the sweater Or your wedding night might End in bitter tears. (Attributed to Oscar Wilde in one source, but other sources differ.) John |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST Date: 01 Feb 12 - 06:02 PM Every night after dark I'd goose the statues In the park. If Sherman's horse can take it, why can't you? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST,John Date: 07 Jan 12 - 03:57 PM Something triggered in my head this morning and I thought of this song....and it's been going around in my head ever since. Imagine my surprise that so many of you friends remembered it too. I "googled" Parody lyrics to the tune of Humoresque and all of this came up. Thanks for all the comments. Isn't the internet great?! |
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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions) From: MGM·Lion Date: 31 Mar 10 - 09:58 PM r |
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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions) From: MGM·Lion Date: 30 Mar 10 - 11:26 PM Two friends of mine at Cambridge in the early 50s, Neil Morris & Tony Davis [both of Downing College], composed this additional aposiopetic ½-stanza, ending with a harmonic la-laa-la:~ Please refrain from masturbating While the train's in station waiting, Spunk may fall upon the man beneath ~~~ Plate-laaaying··· |
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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions) From: GUEST,Stuarticus Maximus Date: 30 Mar 10 - 07:51 PM Passengers will please refrain from passing water while the train is standing in the station to refuel. Those who feel they must pass water would they kindly ask the porter for the bucket in the vestibule. |
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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions) From: Joe_F Date: 14 Oct 08 - 08:12 PM Persons working underneath Will get it in their hair and teeth. Fortunately, I have never heard the rest of that stanza. |
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Subject: RE: ADD: Humoresque (various versions) From: pavane Date: 14 Oct 08 - 03:55 AM SPAM ALERT Can we block this guest from further postings? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: JohnInKansas Date: 06 Oct 05 - 02:38 AM Trivially different, but with a bit different scan: Passengers will please refrain From using toilets while the train Is standing in the station - ................we thank you. Constipation's recommended While the train is being tended If the train can't go Then why should you. And the non-train bit: Nothing looks much better Than a young girl in a sweater But the sweater may not be what it appears. Boys, it's recommended That you see what's in the sweater Or your wedding night could end in bitter tears. John |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: Mark Cohen Date: 06 Oct 05 - 01:02 AM There's another version that starts, "Who's the one who did the pushin', Left the stains upon the cushion..." Fortunately, I don't remember the rest. I think it's a pregnant daughter/lover/angry father setup. I remember my old friend Tedd Judd singing it. Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: GUEST,c e allen Date: 05 Oct 05 - 03:07 PM The final chorus of this wonderful ditty is: We go strolling through the park Goosing statues in the dark If Sherman's horse can take it, why can't you? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: Wilfried Schaum Date: 14 Jan 03 - 09:15 AM ? Dvoøák Change charset of your browser to Middle European = ISO-8859-2 or Windows-1250 (somewhere in the menu), and it looks right. Wilfried |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: Charley Noble Date: 14 Jan 03 - 08:30 AM I'm glad the intrepid Masato dug up the reference to U.S. Surpeme Court Justice William O. Douglas as co-author of this ditty. This may be one of those "folk song legends" and I thought I'd run across references to it before but couldn't pin it down in any of my available songbooks. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Q Date: 13 Jan 03 - 11:33 PM Passengers worked. I think most people put in too much. Single words bring up additional stuff, butit is no problem to ignore what you don't want. There are some threads and songs in the dt that have incorrect or mis-spelled titles. It would be nice if those were corrected. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: dick greenhaus Date: 13 Jan 03 - 10:50 PM I'm baffled. What were the folks that couldn't find it in DigiTrad searcing for? "Humoresque" brings it up; so does "please refrain"; so does "toilets" or "Sherman's horse". We keep trying to make the search simpler and more versatile. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Q Date: 13 Jan 03 - 03:43 PM I have some of his music on old lps produced in Prague on the Czech Supraphon label. The r in Dvorak has that little upside-down "v" above the r, common in Czech and indicating a hard sh sound to the r, but it is not in the html characters that can be used here. Webster's Collegiate uses this character in their biographical entry on Antonín Dvorák. I guess we have to leave the r bare. Most American produced cds now leave off the accents on his name. It is one of two such characters that should be in the standard html list; the other is the macron above vowels, which is needed for Japanese, Hawai'ian and several other languages. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: Lanfranc Date: 13 Jan 03 - 05:03 AM Can't see this verse here or elsewhere quoted - originally from Diz Disley, if I remember right. "Newlyweds while in the carriage Should not consummate their marriage While the train is standing here at Crewe To perform this natural function Kindly wait 'til Clapham Junction Where you'll find there's sod-all else to do!" Come to think about it, it might have been Derek Craft of 1812, rather than Diz. Alan |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: masato sakurai Date: 13 Jan 03 - 04:45 AM ? Dvoøák |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: masato sakurai Date: 13 Jan 03 - 04:43 AM Ed Cray (in The Erotic Muse, 2nd ed., pp. 235-239) collects four versions (most are one- or two-stanza ones), with this comment (pp.237-238): This is another of the more frequently encountered bawdy songs, though most informants seem to know only one or two verses. The song is unusual in that it is one of the very few with a genuine oral currency set to melodies drawn from what is known as "art" or "classical" music. Dvoøák published his set of six Humoresques, Op. 101, in 1894. Sometime in th early 1930s, according to his autobiography, Go East, Young Man (pp. 171-72), William O. Douglas and fellow Yale law school professor Thurman Arnold were riding the New Haven Railroad and were inspired by a sign in the toilet: Thurman and I got the idea of putting these memorable words to music, and Thurman quickly came up with the musical refrain from Humoresque: Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train is standing in or passing through a station. Thurman at once adressed the passengers in the parlor car and taught them to sing this song in unison. After many attempts, they were able to make a perfect rendition. Thereafter, it was common on the New Haven to hear people singing the song. If Arnold and Douglas are to be credited with the composition, the song certainly spread quickly. Wallrich (p.166), in presenting a World War II air force version in three verses, says that he first heard the song on college campuses in the early 1930s. Legman (The Limerick, 465, n. 1676) dates his version to 1944. Brand's text (pp. 48-49, reprinted in Babab, 73); Getz 1 (p. S-9); and Getz 2 (p. HH-10) are undated. ~Masato |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: EBarnacle1 Date: 13 Jan 03 - 03:00 AM In Oscar Brand's Bawdy Songs and Backroom Ballads you can find this" Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilet while the train Is in the station, Darling, I love you. We encourage constipation While the train is in the station Moonlight always makes me think of you. If you wish to pass some water Kindly try the pullman porter He'll place a vessel in the vestibule If the vessel isn't there Then try the platform in the rear The one in front is likely to be cool. If the women's room be taken, Never feel the least forsaken, Never show the sign of sad defeat; Try the men's room 'cross the hall And if some man has had the call He'll courteously relinquish you his seat. If these efforts are in vain, Then kindly break the window pane This novel method's used by very few; We go strolling through the park, A-goosing statues in the dark, If Sherman's horse can take it why can't you? re: Johnstown, PA. I had business reasons to go there by train about 25 years ago. The train didn't move much faster that the infamous Dummy Line. As it says in that song: Female passenger to conductor--Conductor, I'm going to have a baby! Conductor--You should know better than to get on in that condition. FP--I wasn't pregnant when I got on. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: Cluin Date: 12 Jan 03 - 05:25 PM I know. Mudlark. Too bad I forgot the point myself. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: Mudlark Date: 10 Jan 03 - 10:11 PM Cluin...very funny and to the point! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Compton Date: 10 Jan 03 - 08:04 PM I recall...... Passengers will please refrain, from flushing toilets while the train is in the station, Darling I love you. We encourage Constipation while the train is in the station. Moonlight always makes me think of you !..etc. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: Joe_F Date: 10 Jan 03 - 07:41 PM Prostitutes and pretty ladies Douche to keep from having babies. How d'you like the way I part my hair? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: Cluin Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:49 PM Please refrain from posting lyrics, Whether sincere or satiric, Space upon the server's getting tight. Room is needed for declaiming, Pointless posturing and flaming, We would rather bark than waste a byte. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Guest Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:24 PM Scottish variant ...'In the boat it disnae matter, for it a' goes in the waater!' |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: GUEST,Q Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:45 PM The parody seems to be older than the columns of jack Smith, so take that remark from my previous post with a cellar of salts. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Schantieman Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:42 PM The sign is still found, in the toilets on the trains, but as with so many rules of basic hygiene & polite conduct these days, widely ignored. Hence the piles of sh*t in the stations. Rant over. S |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: GUEST,Q Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:33 PM Maybe, like Spaw (guessing), Humoresque is the title that immediately comes to my mind when I see this song or hear the words. Don't know how old the parody is, but I remember it from my childhood in the 1930s. Of course it is listed in the DT as Humoresque, but entering- passengers- brings up a thread with the first line, and from that thread, the DT song can be found pronto. The sign appeared on American rail lines. Supposedly the first verse was written by Jack Smith, a newspaper columnist and first appeared in a newspaper column of his. So he is credited by for adding the "I love you" so it could be sung to the music of Dvorak's "Humoresque." Some of the American signs read "Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilet while the train is standing still or passing through a station," which is a little more difficult to sing. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Jim Colbert Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:56 AM Not having been exposed to much rail travel when I was young, although living in Johnstown PA which is on the mainline of the old Pennsylvania Railroad, I had sometimes wondered what reference Steve Goodman was making to in City of New Orleans ("the conducter sings that song again/passengers will please refrain...") Thanks for an explanation, IanC! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:43 AM GUEST,Pete is that all? no more verses of your version? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: GUEST,Pete Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:41 AM Passengers will please refrain from copulating on the train while standing on the platform here at Crewe. Please restrain this natural function 'til you get to Clapham Junction where you'll find there's f*** all else to do |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Noreen Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:36 AM shorter phrasres more effective, mr h, as you will have found. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:06 AM ok - but when i did my first dt/frum check i entered 'We encourage constipation while the train is in the station' & nothing came up. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:01 AM Yea! Thanks 'spaw! :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:01 AM So what happened when you entered the phrase Mr.Happy? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:00 AM And Ian....mentioning RUGBY songs.........THIS THREAD is a virtual "All Gargoyle Classic".....Let him sink his teeth into a subject he likes and........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:57 AM catspew49, i almost forgiv u- thanx for the gargle's version- brill cheers, mr h |
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Subject: Lyr Add: HUMORESQUE From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:46 AM IAN....Also, here is a set of lyrics that Gargoyle posted on one of the threads....You'll love them as well!!! HUMORESQUE Tune - Humoresque I love to go out after dark And goose the statues in the park, A lovely pastime at the close of day! Unperturbed they stand so still, While WHOOPS! it's me that gets the thrill. It really is a lovely way to play. I've noticed lately They stand so stately, Out there in the dark when dew is on the ground. I sometimes tease them And do displease them, If I fail to show up as the sun goes down. The Thinker is the only one With whom I can have no fun. He sits upon a boulder, rough and coarse. Napoleon sits upon his steed, I cannot goose him, no indeed, And so instead I goose his horse. Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station, I love you. We encourage constipation While the train is in the station, Moonlight always makes me think of you. If you simply have to go When other people are too slow, There is only one thing you can do. You'll just have to take a chance, Be brave and do it in your pants, But I'll forgive you, darling, I love you. Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station, I love you. If you have to pass some water, Kindly call the Pullman Porter. He'll place a vessel in the vestibule. If this method is in vain, You may break a window pane. This novel method's used by very few. Tramps and hobos underneath May catch it in the nose and teeth. And they may bite off more than they can chew. Mabel, Mabel, strong and able, Get your big ass off the table, Don't you know the quarter is for beer? You can always earn your pay, But make your tips another way, And I'll forgive you, darling, I love you! Ever since you met our Nelly, She's had trouble with her belly, Wish you'd never seen our little town! Ever since I met your Venus, I've had trouble with my penis, Wish I'd never seen your little town. Was it you who did the pushin', Put the stains upon the cushion, Footprints on the dashboard upside down? Was it your sly woodpecker That got into my girl Rebecca? If it was, you better leave this town. It was I who did the pushin', Put the stains upon the cushion, Footprints on the dashboard upside down. But since I got into your daughter, I've had trouble passing water, Now I guess we're even all around. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:46 AM For th historically minded, this song is based on the notices which used to be in toilets on BR trains until about 15-20 years ago. These said: Please Refrain from Flushing the Toilet The reason for this is that the toilets just chucked their contents out the bottom onto the track. Oddly enough, the notices no longer appear, despite the fact that almost all train toilets continue to work in the same way. This leaves many English railway stations as essentially open sewers where the waiting passengers stare at piles of shit and chewed up toilet paper. Not a pretty sight! :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:43 AM Okay Mr. Happy.........Try entering this phrase in the search box: train is in the station and see what you get. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:40 AM Yeah Ian, you have a good one there and thanks. There is yet another thread that I'm not going to look for that has several more verses PLUS a thread, perhaps a challenge where there were several parody versions as well. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:35 AM Thanks 'spaw Just found the DT version by putting 2753 in the search. What is in DT looks like a derivative of the rather more original version I quoted above. It actually doesn't have all the verses either. :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:33 AM s49, are you bullshitting me?- your supposed link to the song doesn'y work at all |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Bullfrog Jones Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:32 AM Slow day in the Spaw household, then! BJ |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:30 AM catspaw49, i've checked the dt & forum again- there's no sign of this song there at all- please explain |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:28 AM Yeah, well........Here with two of the threads listed also And I don't know if your SS is working or not Mr. FDH, but try huh? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:57 AM catspaw49, i resemble those remarks- i surely checked the dt & forum search prior to posting but it didn't come up with anything. anyway u old fart- i don't need to justify what i do on here to u- don't worry b happy |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:48 AM Well, 'spaw ... if you want to know, the Supersearch isn't working for me so how could I have done that? Is it working for you, then? I see you posted the useful link to the thread. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:41 AM Just an idle thought, but did any of you bother to check the forum and the DT??? I thought not...........If you had, 1) You would not have started this thread and 2) you'd find that not only are words in the DT, but additional ones plus a discussion of the song takes place on a couple of previous threads. Mr. Happy, are you also fat and dumb, as in fat, dumb, and happy? You've been around here long enough to learn how to use the 'Cat to find things and if you haven't learned, give it a try!!!!! Enter a few words in the search box and see what pops up!! Before you start a thread you are always asked to check the forum and the DT. My best suggestion is that do just that......just an idle thought mind you....... ......geeziz.................. Spaw |
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Subject: Lyr Add: Gentlemen Should Please Refrain From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:14 AM Here's a more complete version from here among other places. Gentlemen Should Please Refrain Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station for a while. We encourage constipation While the train is in the station. Cross your legs and grit your teeth and smile. Piddling while the train is moving Is another way of proving That control of hand and eye is sure. We like to keep our toilets neat So please don't s**t upon the seat Or, what is worse, excrete upon the floor. In the carriage there's a chain And if you pull it, it stops the train There's a twenty-five pound fine if you're unwise So, ladies if you're being molested Wait until you've been divested It isn't worth five fivers other wise Gentlemen will please refrain From passing water while the train Is standing at the station in full view 'Cos railway workers (Tramps and hoboes) underneath May cop it in the eyes and teeth And they don't like it: how the hell would you (But that's what comes of being underdog.) Gentlemen please be discreet When using the toilet lift the seat The rocking motion may make you miss the pan And lady passengers following on May get it on their sit-upon 'Cos they can't stand and wee-wee like a man :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:12 AM thanks very much- i'll check out dt & web for whole thing now i know the title. cheers, mr h |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: IanC Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:09 AM called "Gentlement will please refrain ..." it's a rugby song. :-) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Bullfrog Jones Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:09 AM A quick All The Web search on the first 7 words brought up this The train While the train is in the station Please refrain from urination Have regard for railway property If you want to pass some water Go and ask the railway-porter He will show you the lavatory While the train is stationary And you have to go quite heavy Do not drop your oiss into the train From the carriage you must wander And the penny you must squander And relief yourself with might and pain. BJ |
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Subject: Lyr Req: Train Song From: Mr Happy Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:04 AM Anybody got the words to this one? don't know the title but here's some of the words I remember: 'If you want to pass some water, kindly go & call the porter He'll place a vessel in the vestibule We encourage constipation while the train is in the station' |
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Subject: RE: ADD LYR: Humoresque From: Earl Date: 20 Jun 98 - 09:44 AM According to _The Erotic Muse_ by Ed CRay, the first verse was written by Supreme Court justice William O. Douglas and Yale law professor Thurman Arnold. They were inspired by a sign in the toilet of a train. They set it to the tune by Dvorak and immediatly taught it to all the passengers. This was, I guess, before he was on the Supreme Court. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: HUMORESQUE From: Roger in Baltimore Date: 19 Jun 98 - 05:23 PM Joe, More verses.
When you have a natural purge,
When you have to pass some water,
Nothing ever looks much better,
Some of you may be too young to realize the reason for these restrictions. Bathrooms in trains used to empty right onto the tracks. It's not too bad a technique if you are in the middle of cornfields and traveling at 30 MPH. However, it is a major problem when the train is sitting still at a heavily travelled station. |
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