BS: Another Weird Joke

Subject: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 08:03 PM

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People who have ben recieving e-mail from me have gotten a lot of strange jokes in the past couple of weeks. I've been in that kind of mood lately. I thought that I'd toss this one out to a whole bunch of folks (if you'll pardon the expression) at once. Click Here!

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 08:11 PM

Silly Bugger!!!!!   I like that one .

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:46 AM

Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 07:15 AM

git

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: VoxFox
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 11:54 AM

Sounds like me and the hubby. LOL    Here's a joke I heard the other day:    An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man stared. Every time the young man looked up the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Sorcha
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:22 PM

Great one, Vox Fox!!

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 05:40 PM

VoxFox --LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Banjer
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 08:15 PM

A woman finds her husband in the kitchen wandering around with a flyswatter in his hand. She asks him what he is doing. "Killing flies", he replies. She asks, "Got any yet?". "Yep", says he, "Three males and two females so far". Intrigued she asks him how he can tell them apart. "Easy, three were sitting on the beer can and two were on the phone!"

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: GUEST,Ernest
Date: 11 Jan 03 - 05:42 AM

(stolen from Jimmy Brennan)
A man walks past a circus. While spying into one of the tents, he sees a young guy tending an elephant that is suffering from dhiaroee (sp??), so the young man is splashed with shit. So our man calls him over and says to him: "Young man, your job is so disgusting I can`t stand it. I own a little business in town, so I am offering you a decent job in a clean an healthy surrounding with good pay and social security and everything". And the young man answers: "Are you crazy? And leave showbiz?"

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: brid widder
Date: 11 Jan 03 - 06:03 AM

Betty was distraught when her beloved Albert died after 60 years of marriage... she went to a clairvoyant....he's here and wants to talk to you she said...
A. Hello Betty, it's good to hear your voice...
B..Where are you?...
A..I'm in Heaven, it's lovely... green fields, trees, a lake, blue sky, sunshine
B. what do you do all day in Heaven?
A. well I get up really early... have breakfast... a swim... a bit of sex and a nap.... and do that on and off all day...it's very nice
B. !!! Just sleep eat swim and sex? ...who do you have sex with?
A. well there's always someone about it's very friendly
B. well I'm shocked... we were married 60 years and I never remember you going for a swim once... and we haven't had sex for years!!
A. well I wasn't a Duck then was I.

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jan 03 - 06:44 AM

brid widder.... you should warn people before hand to put down their tea !! hehehehe

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: GUEST,stringman
Date: 11 Jan 03 - 06:49 AM

Love it, what a way to start the weekend.

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 03:54 PM

These are fun. keep them coming!!!

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: BlueJay
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 02:34 AM

Stephen's cartoon in the dark reminded me of one of my all time favorite print cartoons: Willie and Ethel, a slovenly, overweight American couple. I don't know who wrote it, but the cartoonist had quite a sense of humor.
The best one showed Willie, bringing in the mail, with Ethel nearby. Willie opened the mail, and said, "Rent, phone, lights, gas. Ever notice how every month it's always the same complainers"?
BlueJay

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 01:34 PM

LOL!!

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: VoxFox
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 11:48 PM

OOOOOOOOoooooo a couple of good ones there. Here's one I just heard today called "The Painting." A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them totally confused. The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.                              The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a predominantly white patriarchal society.   "In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and socialogical oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."                                                             After the curator left, a Scottish man approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.   "Because I'm the guy who painted it." he replied. "In fact, there's no African-Americans depicted at all. They're just three Scottish coalminers. The only difference is that the guy in the middle went home for lunch." VF

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 14 Jan 03 - 01:29 PM

Now, THAT"S funny!!

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Pseudolus
Date: 21 Jan 03 - 02:28 PM

A nurse is walking down the hall in a nursing home and sees a resident wheeling himself towards her. "How you doing Mr. Jones", says the nurse. Mr. Jones replies, "Well, my penis is dead!!" She's surprised at the comment but keeps walking and continues on with her work. The next day she sees him again but this time she notices his zipper is down and his penis is hanging outside of his pants. She says, "Mr Jones, I thought you said that thing was dad!!" He replies, "It is!! Today's the viewing!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: Larkin
Date: 21 Jan 03 - 05:11 PM

Anyone want to buy some BeeGees tickets - there's a third off!

Subject: RE: BS: Another Weird Joke
From: GUEST,colwyn dane
Date: 21 Jan 03 - 08:20 PM

[The following appeared in u.s.f.c.c newsgroup today]

An American, a Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.
'That was my pager,' he said. 'I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.'

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished, he explained:
'That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.'

The Irishman feeling decidedly low-tech, but, not to be outdone,decided he had to do something just as impressive.
He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet.
He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his arse.
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.
The Irishman finally said: 'Well, will you look at that! 'I'm getting a fax.'"

Regards
CD.