Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 03:05 PM

On Again! On Again!

Words & Music: Jake Thackray



I love a good bum on a woman, it makes my day.
To me it is palpable proof of God's existence, a posteriori.
Also I love breasts and arms and ankles, elbows, knees;
It's the tongue, the tongue, the tongue on a woman that spoils the job for me.
Please understand I respect and admire the frailer sex
And I honour them every bit as much as the next misogynist.
But give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and thereupon
They go on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on.

I fell in love with a woman with wonderful thighs and hips
And a sensational belly. I just never noticed her lips were always moving.
Only when we got to the altar and she had to say "I do"
And she folded her arms and gathered herself and took in a breath and I knew
She could have gone on again, on again, on again till the entire
Congregation passed out and the vicar passed on and the choirboys passed through puberty.
At the reception I gloomily noted her family's jubilant mood,
Their maniacal laughter and their ghastly gratitude.

She talks to me when I go for a shave or a sleep or a swim.
She talks to me on a Sunday when I go singing hymns and drinking heavily.
When I go mending my chimney pot she's down there in the street,
And at ninety-five on my motorbike she's on the pillion seat
Wittering on again, on again, on and again and again.
When I'm eating or drinking or reading or thinking or when I'm saying my rosary.
She will never stop talking to me; she is one of those women who
Will never use three or four words when a couple of thousand will easily do!

She also talks without stopping to me in our bed of a night;
Throughout the sweetest of our intimate delights she never gives over.
Not even stopping while we go hammer and tongs towards the peak -
Except maybe for a sigh and a groan and one perfunctory shriek.
Then she goes on again, on again, on again on and I must
Assume that she has never noticed that she's just been interrupted.
Totally unruffled she is, and as far as I can see
I might just as well have been posting a letter or stirring up the tea!

She will not take a hint, not once she's made a start.
I can yawn or belch or bleed or faint or fart - she'll not drop a syllable.
I could stand in front of her grimly sharpening up an axe,
I could sprinkle her with paraffin, and ask her for a match -
She'd just go on again, on again, on again even more.
The hind leg of a donkey is peanuts for her, she can bore the balls off a buffalo.
"Mother of God," I cried one day, "Oh, let your kingdom come
"And in the meantime, Mother, could you strike this bugger dumb?"

Well, believe it or not, she appeared to me then and there:
The Blessed Virgin herself, in answer to my prayer, despite the vulgarity,
Shimmering softly, dressed in blue and holding up a hand.
I cocked a pious ear as the Mother of God began.
Well she went on again, on again, on again, on, and I
Will have to state how very much I sympathise with the rest of the family.
Give some women the ghost of a chance to talk and thereupon
They go on again, on again, on again, on again,
And again, and again, and again, and again
They will go on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on again, on.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: GUEST,999
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 11:35 AM

JOLLY BUM SONG

Recorded by David Turner

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

A bum gets up in the morning
To get the morning breeze
He washes his face in the frying pan
Forgets to comb his hair

A bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

Six o'clock in the morning
Mrs. Murphy comes around
With a piece of bread and butter
That weighs a half a pound

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

The coffee's like tobacco juice
The bread is hard and stale
And that's the way they feed the bums
In the Richmond County Jail

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

One day I met a man
That I never met before
He asked me if I wanted a job
Shoveling iron ore

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

When I asked him what the wages were
He said "Dollar and half a ton"
Oh mister you can keep your job
I'd rather be a bum

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

Three o'clock in the morning
I looked upon the wall
The bedbugs and the roaches
Were having a game of ball

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

The score was six to nothing
The roaches were ahead
Till a bedbug hits a homerun
And knocks me out of bed

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

#########################

From

http://rolandanderson.se/bedbugs.php

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Nov 11 - 06:44 PM

This song is quoted in a memoir: Lifeletter by Howard Newhard (Xulon Press, 2008), page 13:


Oh, a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum, a bum I long to be.
To heck with the men who work all day while I sleep under the tree.
A-sleeping in the icebox, tra-la-la-la-la,
We shoot the birds and the butterflies, tra-la-la-la-la-la.

I met a man the other day I never met before.
He asked me if I wanted to work a-shovelin' iron ore.
I asked him what his wages were – a dollar 'n' a half a ton.
"Oh, mister, I don't wanna work; I'd rather be a bum."

While walking a western tank line, one summer's cooling day
And in an open boxcar a dying hobo lay.
Beside him stood his partner with sad and dreary head,
And listen to the last word the dying hobo said:

"Oh, I'm going to a better land where everything is fine.
Hams grow on the bushes and it's summer all the time.
You don't have to work, not even change your socks,
And little drops of whiskey come rolling off the rocks!"


[Apparently 2 or more songs have been conflated here. The last 2 verses come from THE DYING HOBO a.k.a. THE LITTLE STREAM OF WHISKEY.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: GUEST,999
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:18 PM

JOLLY BUM SONG

Recorded by David Turner

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

A bum gets up in the morning
To get the morning breeze
He washes his face in the frying pan
Forgets to comb his hair

A bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

Six o'clock in the morning
Mrs. Murphy comes around
With a piece of bread and butter
That weighs a half a pound

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

The coffee's like tobacco juice
The bread is hard and stale
And that's the way they feed the bums
In the Richmond County Jail

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

One day I met a man
That I never met before
He asked me if I wanted a job
Shoveling iron ore

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

When I asked him what the wages were
He said "Dollar and half a ton"
Oh mister you can keep your job
I'd rather be a bum

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

Three o'clock in the morning
I looked upon the wall
The bedbugs and the roaches
Were having a game of ball

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

The score was six to nothing
The roaches were ahead
Till a bedbug hits a homerun
And knocks me out of bed

Oh a bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: GUEST,999--Scout song
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 08:42 PM

Oh a bum, a bum a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be.
A bum gets up in the morning
To get the morning breeze. (CHORUS)
He washes his face in the frying pan
Forgets to comb his hair.
A bum, a bum a jolly good bum
A bum I wanna be.

Six o'clock in the morning
Mrs. Murphy comes around.
With a piece of bread and butter
That weighs a half a pound.
The coffee's like tobacco juice.
The bread is hard and stale.
And that's the way they feed the bums
In the Richmond County Jail. (Repeat Chorus)

One day I met a man
That I never met before.
He asked me if I wanted a job
Shoveling iron ore.
When I asked him what the wages were
He said "Dollar and half a ton."
Oh mister you can keep your job
I'd rather be a bum. (Repeat Chorus)

Three o'clock in the morning
I looked upon the wall.
The bedbugs and the roaches
Were having a game of ball.
The score was six to nothing.
The roaches were ahead.
Till a bedbug hits a homerun
And knocks me out of bed. (Repeat Chorus)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: Cluin
Date: 15 Jan 03 - 10:35 AM

I like Ashley Judd's myself.

Subject: Thanks so much.
From: GUEST,Cookie
Date: 14 Jan 03 - 02:45 PM

Thank you so much for your help.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 14 Jan 03 - 10:42 AM

Sorry, I thought this was another thread about Ms Penelope Rutledge !

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 14 Jan 03 - 10:18 AM

Compare that with The Great American Bum, found here:
Great American Bum

I have a lot of fun singing this, and audiences seem to love it.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: Lyr Req: A Bum, A Jolly Good Bum
From: GUEST,Cookie
Date: 14 Jan 03 - 09:32 AM

Anyone know the title and artist of this song? I was told it comes from an old Vaudeville routine and actually has 24 verses - one for each hour of the day. Thanks

   
A bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I want to be
A bum gets up in the morning
To catch the early train
He washes his face in the frying pan
Forgets to comb his hair
A bum, a bum, a jolly good bum
A bum I want to be

It's four o'clock in the morning
And up upon the wall
The bed bugs and the roaches
Are having a game of ball
The score is six to nothing
The roaches were ahead
The bed bugs hit a homer
And knock me out of bed

Chorus

It's six o'clock in the morning
And Miss Murphy comes around
With a piece of bread and butter
That weighs a half a pound
The butter tastes like tomato juice
The bread is six months stale
It tastes just like the food you get
At any county jail

Chorus