An Aussie Love Poem

Subject: An Aussie Love Poem
From: allanwill
Date: 21 Feb 03 - 10:00 AM

Received this from a friend, so have no author details.

Allan

Of course I love ya darling
You're a bloody top notch bird
And when I say ya gorgish
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means when I'm ready
There's something there to grab

So your belly ain't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms around there

No sheila who is your age
Has round, perky breasts
They just gave into gravity
But I know ya did your best

I'm telling ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it's very sexy
That youv got dimples on ya thighs


I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
You was as good
as I was ever gonna get.

No matter what ya look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footys on
And get me another beer!!!!

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: Schantieman
Date: 21 Feb 03 - 10:11 AM

Aussie foreplay?

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Brace yerself, Sheila!!

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: Deni-C
Date: 21 Feb 03 - 05:21 PM

really sweet! what I could do with an understanding bloke like that!

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Feb 03 - 05:32 PM

Oh my!

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: Stewie
Date: 21 Feb 03 - 08:10 PM

Good one, Allan.

Here's another amusing ditty - not a love song, but a good'un - from Western Australian folk bard, Peter Capp. It will probably be pertinent given the current state of world markets:

THE RECESSION
(Peter Capp)

We were never a wealthy family, my father was always a scraper
And when we'd have to number two, we'd use both sides of the paper

Our teabags would hang from the clothesline, ready to use again
And we'd never write any letters as we couldn't afford a pen

Food was often a problem, we'd really have to scrounge
One night we were so bloody hungry we cooked and ate the lounge

I was given a canary another time, which I boiled and ate with ease
Trouble is I ended up crook, with a case of canarial disease

They tweated me for cherpies, to get on the straight and narrow
And when I'd fully recovered, I went and ate a sparrow

We ate our grandfather one Saturday night, Dad was having a ball
Grandma had the other one, I didn't get one at all

Sundays we'd go for a drive, but I hated washing powder
They'd cut the box into little pieces and make a detergent chowder

Later on, you bloody beaut, we had a bit of luck
A big potato, about half a pound, rolled off a vegie truck

And they tell us there's a recession on, we don't think that at all
And anyone's welcome to dinner, this time I get a ball

Cheers, Stewie.

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Feb 03 - 09:23 PM

We're happy little Vegemites

As bright as bright can be.

We all enjoy our Vegemite

For breakfast, lunch, and tea.

Our mother says we're growing

stronger every single week.

Because we love our Vegemite.

We all adore our Vegemite.

It puts a rose in every cheek!

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: Helen
Date: 22 Feb 03 - 07:04 PM

There is a clever & funny Vegemite on tv currently, where the kiddie voices are used but adult actors are shown.

Then there is the Aeroplane Jelly jingle.

Ilove Aeroplane jelly
Aeroplane jelly for me.

I like it for dinner
I like it for tea
Aeroplane jelly for me.


Helen

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:37 AM

I think there's a bit more to the Aeroplane Jelly song:

I like Aeroplane Jelly
Aeroplane Jelly for me.
I like it for breakfast, I like it for tea,
A little each day is a good recipe.
The quality's high as the name will imply,
And it's made from pure fruit, one more good reason why -
I like Aeroplane Jelly
Aeroplane Jelly for me.

Then there's an old toilet paper commercial:

What's the softest tissue in the bathroom you can issue
It's Sorbent Sorbent safest for sure (Not quite sure about the words here)
Sorbent's economical, it's sales are astronomical,
Buy Sorbent at your favourite store.

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: GUEST,Dian
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:53 AM

Hush-a-bye baby, on the tree top,
Grasshoppers ate up the whole of our crop.
When the drought breaks the rabbits will come
Hush-a-bye baby, the outlook is glum.

E.R, 'Australian Nursery Rhymes', BULLETIN (5 November 1908

Quoted in "Twinkle, Twinkle, Southern Cross" by Robert Holden. National Library of Australia. 1992.

The drought has now broken in New South Wales! All we need is peace.

Dian
NSW

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: allanwill
Date: 23 Feb 03 - 08:35 AM

Learnt this one as a kid. The tune will become obvious.

Allan

Oh my gosh, oh my lord,
here comes Henry in his Ford.
Along the road to Gundagai.

With the radiator hissing,
the spark plugs all missing
and the gear box running dry.

There's water in the petrol
and sand in the gears.
It hasn't seen a garage for over forty years.

Oh my gosh, oh my lord,
here comes Henry in his Ford.
Along the road to Gundagai.

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: GUEST,steven lewis
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 12:22 AM

Funky.....i actually wrote this a very long time ago

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: Andrez
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 03:14 AM

And?

Cheers,

Andrez

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 07:10 AM

Aussie chat up,

' hey Sheila fancy a fuck ? '

' didn't really, but I do now ya smooth talking bastard '

Dave H

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 09:26 PM

LATER:

"Dave, I'm pregnant. If you don't marry me I'll kill myself."

"Sheila, not only are you a good fuck, but you are a good sport as well."

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 04:18 AM

Love it Frank.

Dave H

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: Andrez
Date: 04 Dec 13 - 03:25 AM

Based on the latter dialogue, I suspect the contributors work in the finance industry as a pair of Aussie Bankers!

Cheers,

Andrez

Subject: RE: An Aussie Love Poem
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 04 Dec 13 - 09:00 PM

What's the difference between a Banker and a Wanker?

At least the Wanker knows what He is doing.