Lyr Req: El Paso parody

Subject: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From:
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 12:49 AM

Many years ago, I happened to be at the Earl of Old Town in Chicago when a gentleman whom I had never heard of before or since sang a song loosely based on the old Marty Robbins classic, "El Paso." I didn't quit drinking until some years later, so my memory is both hazy and fragmentary, but I recall the lines,

"...the night it was murky, I chose Albuquerque
where tacos are tacos and beans ar refried..."

and something about Felina "driving her Chevy across my front yard. The money was there on the front seat beside her [something, something]..."

The song ends with a description of how the protagonist "split for the Coast and was killed by the cops," and an admonition for travelers to El Paso to "drive straight on through and not bother to stop."

This has been making me crazy since about 1976. Can anyone shed any light on this?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Teribus
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 01:10 AM

The only parody version of this song I've heard was from my time in the Navy. The first verse went something like:

"Down in the West Country town they call Plymouth
I fell in love with a three badge Chief Wren
Night time would find her in the Fleet Canteen-o
Knockin' back pints of Scrumpy till gone half-past ten"

I think it might of been one of Shep Woolley's, but it was a long time ago.

Good luck with your search - I'm sure somebody will come up with the one you're looking for.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Genie
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 01:20 AM

Well, Homer and Jethro did a parody of El Paso, but I don't recall those lines specifically.

Their version started out something like:
Out in the west Texas town of El Paso,
I spent a whole week in only one day.
I looked around me for Rosa's Cantina--
I think Hernando had hid it away.

Genie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 01:35 AM

Kinky Friedman did a parody called 'Asshole from El Paso' when he was touring with Dylan's Rolling Thunder Review. Or no...that was Okie from Muskogee he changed the words to. Nevermind.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 01:49 AM

I VERY vaguely recall hearing the one you're talking about...unless I dreamed it. The two versions I do know are, first, the world's shortest cowboy song:

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso...
One little kiss, and Felina, goodbye

And the Irish version, which I learned from Mary Benson in Portland (OR):

Out in the West Irish county of Mayo
I fell in love with a Mayonnaise girl

Sorry.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Genie
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 02:54 AM

Sorry, Mark? You should be!

¤'-D

Subject: ADD: Christmas El Paso parody
From:
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 11:26 AM

There's a Christmas one here

Christmas Parody of El Paso

I'm sure I've seen another. But I can't find it right now.

---

El Paso
Based on the performance by Marty Robbins
Christmas In El Paso
Parody by Bruce Decker

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso
I fell in love with a Mexican girl
Nighttime would find me in Rosa's cantina
Music would play and Feleena would whirl

Blacker than night where the eyes of Feleena
Wicked and evil while casting her spell
My love was deep for this Mexican maiden
I was in love, but in vain I could tell

One night a jolly old stranger came in
Wild as the cold Northern wind
A dashing and daring red suit he was wearing
And wicked Feleena, was parked on his lap


So in anger
I challenged his right for the love of this maiden
Back went his hand for the sack that he wore
My challenge was answered in less than a heartbeat
The jolly old stranger lay dead on the floor

Just for a moment I stood there in silence
Shocked by the foul, evil deed I had done
Many thoughts raced through my mind as I stood there
I had but one chance and that was to run

Up on the rooftop of Rosa's I ran
Up where the reindeer were tied
I caught a good one, it looked like it could run
Up on its back and away I did fly

Just as fast as
I could from the West Texas town of El Paso
Over the badlands of New Mexico

Back in El Paso my life would be worthless
Everything's gone in life, nothing is left
It's been so long since I've seen the young maiden
My love is stronger than my fear of death

I saddle up and away I did go
Riding alone in the dark
Maybe tomorrow a bullet will find me
Tonight nothing's worse than this pain in my heart

And at last here
I am on the hill overlooking El Paso
I can see Rosa's cantina below
My love is strong and it pushes me onward
Down off the hill to Feleena I go

Off to my right I see five midget cowboys
Off to my left are a dozen and more
Shouting and shooting I can't let them catch me
I have to make it to Rosa's back door

Something is dreadfully wrong for I feel
A deep burning pain in my side
Though I am trying to stay in the saddle
I'm getting weary, unable to ride

But my love for
Feleena is strong, and I rise where I've fallen
Though I am weary I can't stop to rest
I see the smoke from the leading elve's rifle
I feel the bullet go deep in my chest

>From out of nowhere Feleena has found me
Slapping my cheek as she kneels by my side
"His last words might clue you into his intentions…"
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: MMario
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 11:33 AM

I recently saw a "west scotland" version - of course I cannot locate it now!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Leadfingers
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 11:46 AM

One night in the Wild West End of London
I met with Hilda a real wild old girl
She had a figure like Trigger but bigger,
One look at her and your stomach would whirl

On her hat she had roses, on her breath Halitosis
We tried to dance but it was all in vain
I just could not get my arms round her fat middle
I Doubt if she'll ever see her feet again

Just then a man from Newcastle came in
High as a star in the sky
He said 'I feel risky lets do something risky
They left together and I pity the guy

Cos next morning early he Woke up beside her
He sobered up as he crawled out of bed
He offered her money but she sad 'No Honey,
Last night we were married and the poor chap dropped dead.

Not the ones you are looking for , but worth posting. Written if I
remember correctly by Allan White,and definately NOT the Wareham Wail
one either.This one was a 'Folk Entertainer'of the seventies

Subject: Lyr Add: WESTHOUGHTON DORIS ('El Paso' parody)
From: GUEST,Mark Dowding
Date: 04 Mar 03 - 02:54 AM

This is a version from Lancashire comedian/singer Bob Williamson. This is credited to Bob on the LP notes but there may have been some input from Les Barker. I'll have to check this out.

WESTHOUGHTON DORIS(El Paso)

Out in the Lancashire Town of Westhoughton
I fell in love with a Lancashire girl
Night time would find me in Ernshaw's canteena
She made my head spin and my beans on toast curl

Blacker than night were the eyes of my Doris
Dark was her hair and her breasts were so white
So soft and warm and by heck they were big uns
A pale shade of white like wet tripe in moonlight

One night a big tram conductor came in
Suffering from Westhoughton wind
An ugly big bloke who was drinking his cocoa
With Westhoughton Doris the girl that I loved

So in anger I challenged his right to a drink of her cocoa
Stood on his toast and his plum marmalade
And with all the finesse of a kung fu instructor
I hit the big sod on the head with a spade

Out of the backdoor of Ernshaw's I ran
Right to the bicycle shed
I took a Suzuki – belonged to a bookie
Thank you Gus Demmy I thought as I fled
Just as fast as I could from the Lancashire town of Westhoughton
Out to the badlands beyond Stalybridge

Back in Westhoughton my life would be worthless
Everything gone in life nothing is left
It's been so long since I tasted the cocoa
Of Westhoughton Doris I'm very bereft

Got on my bike and away I did ride
Stopped once or twice for a wee
Tomorrow I'd die for an old chip shop pie
Two pennorth of peas and a hot cup of tea

And at last here I am on the hill overlooking Westhoughton
I can see Ernshaw's canteena below
My love is strong and it carries me onwards
Back to the best buttered barmcakes I know

Stood in my way I see ten tram conductors
All six foot nine stood in their stockinged feet
If they could catch me then they would soon sell me
To the local pie factory as a big lump of meat

We'll cave your head in right down past your brain
They swore by good Greenall's beer
Then all of a sudden a dirty black pudding
Caught one conductor behind his left ear

Oh it's Westhoughton Doris she's there with her pudding bombardment
Saving my life with her own recipe
Cowardy custards them big tram conductors
Left me and Doris and went home for tea

So at last I'm alone with my Westhoughton Doris
Her cocoa's the sweetest that money can buy
Her breasts are so warm and by heck they are big uns
I'm happy with Westhoughton Doris – Oh aye!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: alanabit
Date: 04 Mar 03 - 02:55 AM

I enjoyed that Leadfingers! Didn't one critic say that "Romance in Durango" by Bob Dylan was actually a parody of "El Paso"?

Subject: Lyr Add: DUBYA ('El Paso' parody)
From:
Date: 04 Mar 03 - 05:10 PM

From http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/martyrobbins0.shtml

DUBYA
(Words, Joseph Hayes. Music, "El Paso" by Marty Robbins)

Out from the West came a boy named Dubya
Carrying a name that his daddy did love

Dubya left Texas 'cause D. C. was callin'
'Callin 'cause he had to settle a score

Had to go there 'cause Billy beat his daddy
And left in place a weirdo by the name of Al Gore

All through the primaries he practiced his speeches
Chaney and Baker hand-signaled by the door

Soon the election was over but the results were disputed
Weird Al was yelling everywhere I did not lose

Dubya plodded on with the help of his brother
Even learned what the Supreme Court was for

Even 'tho he won reporters asked about Harken
Chaney hand signalled when they asked about Enron

9/1/1 made Dubya ever so popular
But soon a recession started nipping at his heels

Out of nowhere rode up his poppa
Sayin', son, don't do what I did after I won before

Rattle your sabers and put away the bad one
Chaney and Baker stood nodding at the door

Here we are now but we don't know how it ended
Al Gore has a beard and won't quit 'til he settles the score

Both love their mates but Gore smooches longer
Night is fallin' and Dubya is layin' one on her

Up rides his daddy and says that's not how you kiss 'em
Barbara is waiting for a kiss knowing it now will come

Subject: Lyr Add: FIASCO ('El Paso' parody)
From:
Date: 04 Mar 03 - 05:18 PM

From http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/martyrobbins0.shtml

FIASCO
(Words, William Tong. Music, "El Paso" by Marty Robbins)

Bush came from West Texas, crowned by fiasco.
Now we have Shrub, and his gang runs the world.
Right Wing Supreme Court declared Bush the winner.
Rules were betrayed by Scalia, unfurled.

Blacker than night were the lies of Scalia,
Wicked and evil; democracy fell.
The Shrub's a creep, and America's laden
With the dumb Shrub; in disdain, we'll expel.

The right wing's child (dumb cowboy) is in
Wild as the Texas wi - i - i - i - ind...
See how he's faring; we think he's uncaring.
With wicked Scalia, and world run by Shrub.

So in anger, we must
Challenge the right wing and Shrub for this nation.
Who runs this land, but the Dunce, who's a boor?
Our questions unanswered about Cheney's heartbeat.
Dubya's arrangers are bleeding the poor.

Right wing would foment and advocate violence.
Shocked, they all howled at that Jeffords had done.
Right wing thought they'd win, but their plans were laid bare.
They've blown their big chance, Lott screamed "Coup of One."

Right wing attack dogs arose in the land.
"Not fair!" Of course, they all lie - ie - ie - ie - ied...
They thought since Bush won, it looked like they'd have fun.
Bush right wing hacks on display for their side.

Working fast as they could,
Former Gov'nor of Texas, now crowned by fiasco,
Runs the show for Big Oil, like Texaco.
Bush is an a**hole; his background is worthless.
He sits upon a false throne though his theft.
Knew all along that the forces he's aidin'
Would get much stronger; help him catch his breath.

Bush is inept; through his ways he did show.
"Go it alone" - what a dor - or - or - or - ork!
His luck is borrowed; his bullsh*t will blind him.
The far right wing's curse is that they'll fall apart.

Bush won't last, through his scam,
Pushed by his shills overlooking fiasco,
Policies pushed by this junta won't go.
The Shrub is wrong, 'cause he's pushing us backwards
We'll pay the bill, but the Shrub won't say so.

So the Far Right now is thanking their Bush boy.
There is no Left in this land any more.
Proudly saluting the Bush coup's new hatchery:
The Supreme Court installed Bush, 5 to 4.

Bugliosi said they're dead wrong, they did steal.
Democracy's stain won't subsi- i - i - i - ide.
Though Bush is trying to stay in his saddle,
He knows no theory; his faults he can't hide.

But the Shrub and Scalia all
Long to revise all the laws; it's appallin'
Though it sounds eerie, it's not for the best.
Shrub ain't the right stuff; this joker would stifle
Protest, dissent 'bout the man we detest.

Bush will go nowhere, for he is a scoundrel.
Lies as he speaks, while he deals from his side.
Hobbled by mid-year elections, he's done for.
So just hear this, we say "Dubya, good-bye!"

Subject: Lyr Add: CARMEN ('El Paso' parody)
From: GUEST,Jim
Date: 04 Mar 03 - 10:59 PM

This may be the one you are looking for.

CARMEN (tune El Paso)

In Spain, where the courtly Castilian hidalgo twangs lightly each night his romantic guitar,
Where the castanets clink on the gay piazetta and strains of fandangoes are heard from afar;
There lived, I am told, a bold hussy named Carmen, a pampered young vamp full of devil and guile.
Cigarette and cigar men were smitten with Carmen; from near and from far men were caught with her smile.

Now, one day it happened she got in a scrap, and proceeded to beat up a girl in the shop,
Till someone suggested they have her arrested, and though she protested, they called in a cop.
In command of the guard was a shavetail named Jose, a valiant young don with a weakness for janes,
And so great was her beauty this bold second looty, he could not do his duty and put her in chains.

"I'm sorry, my dear, to appear to arrest you - at best you are hardly much more than a kid.
If I let you go, say, there'll be some expose, but beat it," Said Jose, and beat it she did.
The scene now is changed to a strange sort of tavern, a hangout for gypsies, a rough sort of dive.
And Carmen, who CAN sing, is warbling and dancing awaiting her date, the late looty, to arrive.

In comes Escamillo, the toreadoro, and sings his great solo 'mid plaudits and cheers.
And when he concludes, after three or four encores, the gypsies depart and Don Jose appears.
These gypsy companions of Carmen are smugglers. The worst band of bandits and cut-throats in Spain,
And Jose, we know well's A.W.O.L. Says he, "Since that's so, well, I guess I'll remain."

The gypsies depart to the heart of the mountains and with them goes Jose who's grouchy and sore.
For Carmen, the flirt, has deserted poor Jose and transferred her love to the toreador.
And as he sits sulking, he sees Escamillo. A challenge is passed and they draw out their knives.
Till Jose, though lighter, disarms the bull fighter and near kills the blighter when Carmen arrives.

Now comes Micaela, Don Jose's young sweetheart, a nice looking blonde without much in her dome.
Says she, "Do you know, kid, you ma's kinda low, kid?" Says Jose, "Let's go, kid," and follows her home.
At last we arrive at the day of the bullfight. The grandstand is packed and the bleachers are full.
A picturesque scene, a square near the arena, the Plaza del Toro, or Place of the Bull.

Dark skinned senoritas with fans and mantillas and haughty Castillians in festive array;
And dolled out to charm men, suspecting no harm. Enters, last of all, Carmen to witness the fray.
But here's our friend Jose, who seizes her bridle. A wild homicidal glint gleams in his eye.
He's mad and disgusted and cries out, "You've busted the heart that once trusted you. Wed me, or die!"

Though Carmen is frightened at how this scene might end, I'm forced to admit she is game to the last.
She says to him, "Banish the notion and vanish! Vamos! (which is Spanish for "run away fast.")
A scream and a struggle! She reels and she staggers for Don Jose's dagger's plunged deep in her breast.
No more will she flirt in her old way, that's certain. So ring down the curtain, poor Carmen's at rest.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 03 - 03:59 PM

I don't sing this, because everytime I start it it comes out in my own parody (at least I think it's my own):

Down in the west Texas town of El Paso,
I had the hots for a Mexican girl.
Her name was Rosa, she worked the cantinas,
On a really slow night she might give me a whirl.

I certainly would like to have the lyrics for the one mentioned at the beginning, though.

Subject: Lyr Add: EL DILDO BANDITO ('El Paso' parody)
From:
Date: 05 Mar 03 - 09:48 PM

>From http://www.mediawhore.com/dildo/bandido.html

EL DILDO BANDITO
to the tune of "El Paso" by Marty Robbins

Out in a town called Boulder Colorado
There was a public librarian there
She thought the American flag was insulting
But hanging penises so debonair
 
Young people gawked and asked their mother's questions
About the artwork called hung out to dry
Hanging a flag is no longer objective
21 Penises though are all right
 
Then Peter Boyles got wind of the case
Media followed in stride---
A public employee thinks that our flag is offensive
Only in Boulder could she survive
 
So in anger ...
El Dildo Bandido felt he should take action
The situation had come to a head
He took the penises down from the display
Left an American flag instead
 
El Dildo Bandido is proud of his country
Proud of the freedom of speech that we share
But genetalia found hanging in public
Is out of place when the children are there
 
He staged a daring escape from the place
Out by the Canyon side---
Penises jangling he jumped into his car
Headed for Heatherwood where he resides
 
And the artist's
A psychology student who9s seeking some answers
Maybe she9ll find out why her art is sick
 
Then when the Boulder police did arrest him
El Dildo Bandido gladly confessed
Boulder Police had fin'ly found a suspect
Mainly because he gave them his address
 
Boulder's a place where even a nut case
Can be elected the Mayor---
But if you try to apply common sense
Buddy you don'9t have a chance or a praye
 
And for now Bandido
Has been arrested and faces a court date
For his brave actions a veteran is tried
We should let Boulder officials hear our voice
Let them know that we are all on his side.

Subject: Lyr Add: EL PASO (parody by Homer & Jethro)
From:
Date: 05 Mar 03 - 10:17 PM

Found in the DT:

Feleena
Carmen

And in the Forum :

Colin Powell's El Paso Parody

From: Sandra Erb <[e-mail]>
It's from the new CD The Best of Homer & Jethro, distributed by Good Music Record Co., Inc. Also, my CD gives the title as The Battle of Kookamonga.

El Paso

Out in the west Texas town of El Paso
I spent a whole week out there in one day
I looked all over for Rosa's Cantina
I think Hernando had hid it away
 
I asked a cab driver where's Rosa's Cantina
I'd like to find it cause I can't stay long
He said why don't you go ask Marty Robbins
Cause he's the hombre who made up the song
 
I heard the cab driver holler "Ole"
Come to Velveeta's cafe
Velveeta cha cha's and shakes her maracas
Over the bridge that they call Santa Fe
 
So away
We went into the traffic and over the river
I asked the cab driver why all the fuss
Why do you foller the front cab so closely
He said we have to cause he's towing us
 
Velveeta's cafe had standing room only
Wall to wall drunks all the way to the street
I looked around for a place I could sit down
A lady stood up then, and I grabbed her seat
 
Soon I felt single though I could see double
Drinking tequila and feeling so grand
Started to walk out, got into trouble
Just then some drunk stepped on top of my hand
 
I see velveeta's eyes looking at me
bloodshot and shinin with scorn
I asked her where have you been all my life
She answered most of it I wasn't born
 
So in anger
I tore out of there like a big herd of turtles
Over the river and back to my car
Goodbye to Juarez and goodbye El Paso
Goodbye Velveeta whatever you are

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Art Thieme
Date: 05 Mar 03 - 10:58 PM

Jethro Burns (of Homer and Jethro) backed up Steve Goodman at the Earl Of Old Town in Chicago for many years. He may have sung their version of the El Paso parody. Steve, himself, used to do a parody of El Paso where he'd drop certain words out of the various lines. The comic effect came from each person's mind putting their own word in place of the missing one.

Jethro was the finest mandolin player I've ever heard.

Hope this helps some.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Mar 03 - 12:41 AM

Either I just dreamed that one, or else it's slipped through the grating at the bottom of the memory hole. Thanks for your help, though.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 10 Mar 03 - 01:02 AM

HOMER & JETHRO-GO WEST

01 - Ballad Of Joe Bean
02 - Down In The Alley

*****03 - El Paso Dos

04 - Freida On The Freeway
05 - Home On The Range #2
06 - I've Got No Use For The Women
07 - My Darling Still
08 - Oh Top Forty (Oh Susannah)
09 - Ol' Paint
10 - Roll On Deoderant
11 - Streets Of Wehawken
12 - Whoop-i-Ti-Yi-Yo

I have them on another computer...will post tomorrow...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 10 Mar 03 - 11:25 PM

any Mudcatter wanting a mp3 or RealAudio, email [e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST,sue
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 02:17 PM

english parody, el paso, very funny song with England as its setting, and bicycles instead of horses, heard it in the 60's at a folk club in Brisbane Australia. Would like the lyrics please.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 09:32 PM

George; thanks for the Homer and Jethro lyrics; The Battle of Kookamunga was another song, a parody of Johnny Horton's Battle of New Orleans.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Jul 03 - 11:36 PM

but...the funniest thing I ever saw was to the ORIGINAL words!...maybe 8-9 years ago, I was watching TV one night when they played a short video where the entire story was acted out!...who played the leads?? Chimpanzees!...with donkeys instead of horses!...Honest! I even recorded all but the first 10-15 seconds as I grabbed the remote and clicked madly...it was so very well done...the chimps sitting backward on the donkeys as the tension builds...

Now I can't find the &$#%** tape!..I 'probably' still have it, but I don't label this so well...*sigh*....

Maybe the WWW will tell me who did this and where it can be found....off to search!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Amergin
Date: 28 Jul 03 - 12:30 AM

hey sue...why don't you read the thread...it's already there...

Subject: Lyr Req: EL PASO PARODY
From: ida
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 08:18 PM

HI, DOES ANYONE KNOW A BRITISH PARODY OF EL PASO? WITH BICYCLES INSTEAD OF HORSES, AND SET IN BRITAIN. HEARD ONE SUNG WHILE IN AUSTRALIA.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 09:54 PM

Hello, Ida - I moved your message over to this thread, which has the same title as the one you started. You'll see a UK parody above - it that the one you're seeking? Maybe it's the one Sue wanted, too.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 01:25 PM

saw another one with a Star wars theme.

"Out in the Tattooine town of Mos eisley,
I fell in love with a Krllian thing..

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 01:36 PM

Two UK version above in the thread actually -

and I found Joe Bethencourt's

WEST SCOTTISH TOWN OF OD GLASCOW

G                        Am7
Out in the West Scottish town of old Glascow
D                              G
I fell in love with a Mexican girl
G                         Am7
Nighttime would find me in Flora's Cantina
      D                                 G
The whiskey would flow and Maria would whirl


I'd drink at the bar every night about sunset
Watching Maria do disco alone
My blood pressure rising; I can't close my eyelids
And her name was Maria Conchita Evita Estrella Elena
    MacTavish Malone

The piper would play her the Mexican Hat Dance
The Black Watch would line up and drool on the floor
Maria would dance with a cork and two band-aids
At the end of the evening, I'd crawl out the door

         C
       One night a wild young crofter came in
                                       G
       Reeking of sheep in the night
            G
       He looked at Maria and started in howling
          G                              C
       Chewing the carpet, a terrible sight!
             D
       But Maria


Ignored him and kept on with aerobic motions
Doing things no other human could do
Dancing on tables and shaking her talents
The crofter was standing there thinking of ewes

The Black Watch had all fainted dead as they stood there
Her ankles were tucked neatly under each ear
She sucked up a shilling from off of the bar-top
The crofter just blew off the foam from his beer

       Next set Maria dressed up differently
       Wearing a cute woolly tail
       Dressed in sheep's clothing she wiggled and jiggled
       The crofter went berserk and let out a wail!
       But Maria

Ignored him and danced for the five mounted cowboys
Who didn't like sheep, and they said so, a lot
I ducked under a table just as the fight started
The crofter was giving as good as he got!

The constable came in, he said "What's all this then?"
And looked at the cowboys out cold on the floor
The crofter had grabbed up Maria and run off
And sheepishly carried her out of the door

         No one quite knows what became of them then
         I ran out the back, all alone
         I'll never go back to that Glascow cantina
         And her name was Maria Conchita Evita Estrella Elena
             MacTavish ...... Malone!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Willie-O
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 01:54 PM

That's about the best one yet Mmario...

But for brevity and clarity I like J P Cormier's condensed version:

"Out in the west Texas town of El Paso
I met a girl, then I got shot and died."

That's the whole thing.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST,Harrymroc
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 10:34 PM

Been looking for years for this one. I guess the one I'm after sounds like the Steve Goodman version. He left out certain words and replaced them with a hand-held squeaker. Recorded live.

Example:
From out of nowhere Felina has found me.
Kissing my (squeak) and she kneeld by my side.
Cradled by two loving (squeak) that I'd die for
One little (squeak) and Felina, goodbye.
(squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST,Tony the Tigger!
Date: 13 Aug 12 - 05:05 PM

Thankyou Thankyou for West Houghton Doris! - been searching for this for about 30 years!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: Leadfingers
Date: 13 Aug 12 - 07:35 PM

Marty Robins took about seven minutes , I'll stay with JP Cormier's as posted by Willy-O

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST,highlandman at work
Date: 14 Aug 12 - 10:42 AM

Bill D-
I think I have a vague memory of that short, now that you mention it.
It seems to me it was Steve Martin playing the narrator and chimps doing all the other parts, including Felina. But who knows whether my memory is right!!
-Glenn

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Aug 12 - 10:45 AM

God bless the internet... here it is!
Steve Martin - El Paso
Still hilarious after all these years.
-Glenn

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: El Paso parody
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Dec 19 - 04:59 PM

El Lame-o Excuse-o

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso
I fell in love with a Mexican girl.
She was a waitress and I was a hothead
With no social skills that I could unfurl.

I went to see her at Rosa’s Cantina.
A stranger stood next to the girl of my dreams.
I thought I owned her and he was too handsome
So I shot him quickly and then fled the scene.

Oooh don’t you feel sorry for me?
Wandring alone in the daaa-aa-aa-aa-aa-ark?
Back in El Paso my life would be worthless,
So listen young cowboys, the truth is quite stark.

I pretended this song was about a young maiden
But I am a killer and horse thief as well.
Felina please hold me, the posse has shot me,
It’s all my own fault and I’m going to hell.