Your Wartime Oscars!

Subject: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Peter T.
Date: 23 Mar 03 - 11:37 AM

Allright, listen up. Time to vote on Your Wartime Oscars.


BEST PICTURE DEMONSTRATING PREEMPTIVE ATTACK

Chicago ("both picked up the gun")

Pearl Harbor ("We had no choice. We were losing our hold over regional oil to those imperialist Yankees")

The Graduate ("Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?")

and....

BEST ACTOR IN A "FINALLY HAD TO PUT ON THE GUNS" THOUGH I HAD SWORN THEM OFF ROLE

Jimmy Stewart in Destry Rides Again

Alan Ladd in Shane

Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven

John Wayne in The Quiet Man

and....

BEST ACTRESS IN A "I HATE YOU YOU BIG AMERICAN LUG" ROLE

Maureen O'Hara in The Quiet Man

Jean Arthur in Only Angels Have Wings

Jennifer Jones in Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

Jennifer Jones in Duel in the Desert

and....



(More to come)

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 23 Mar 03 - 11:44 AM

I need some humour after what I've been listening to all morning, but I don't feel very witty right now. Will try to participate later Peter.

Rick

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Peter T.
Date: 23 Mar 03 - 11:50 AM

Hmm, probably the film was Duel in the Sun. Anyway,


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A WORSHIPFUL COLONIAL POSE

Sal Mineo in Rebel Without a Cause

Sam Jaffee in Gunga Din

Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia

and....


BEST NEAT MASS KILLING OR EXPLOSIONS IN A MOVIE WITHOUT BLOOD

Star Wars (all episodes)

Independence Day

.......

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Peter T.
Date: 23 Mar 03 - 11:56 AM

BEST "THIS IMPERIAL STUFF IS SURE A HECK OF A LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN WE THOUGHT GOING IN" MOVIE

Gunga Din

The Three Feathers

Zulu

Khartoum

King of Kings

Marie Walevska

The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire

and....

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Hrothgar
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 02:15 AM

BEST ACTOR IN A "FINALLY HAD TO PUT ON THE GUNS" THOUGH I HAD SWORN THEM OFF ROLE:

is Coop in "High Noon" - by the length of the straight.

... and do we give Grace Kelly the award for the PACIFIST FORCED INTO KILLING PEOPLE?

The best way to support our troops is to bring them home.

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 03:38 AM

Doesn't Ronnie Raygun get nominated for anything?

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 05:14 AM

Okay: a special nomination for Ronald Reagan:
Best actor at playing two parts in a single film...and the award goes to.... Ronald Reagan in .... Bedtime for Bonzo!

Nigel

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 10:30 AM

BEST ILLUSTRATION OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC TRYING TO CATCH A TRUE VIEW OF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION

The Parallax View

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 10:39 AM

BEST PORTRYAL OF A LEADING ACTRESS CONTINUING DIPLOMATIC EFFORTS WITH FRANCE:

Meryl Streep in The French Lt's Woman.

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 01:57 PM

Kat--the storyline in the novel implied a French Lieutenant, but in the end, there was none. Is this where you're taking that thought?

SRS

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 02:01 PM

Kinda, SRS, I was mostly just going for the title 'cause it sounded good...a sort of soundbite, ya know?**bg**

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: GUEST,Peter T.
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 03:36 PM

BEST PORTRAYAL OF A LEADING FOREIGN ACTRESS CONTINUING DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH AMERICA

Ingrid Bergman, Casablanca

Marlene Dietrich, Morocco
(Why is Dietrich called "Frenchie" in "Destry Rides Again?")

Ingrid Bergman, Notorious

Valli, The Third Man

Vivian Leigh, Waterloo Bridge

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:35 PM

BEST ILLUSTRATION OF "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE STARTED IT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FINISH IT"
Ron Howard in The Shootist.

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Wolfgang
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 07:41 AM

BEST STAND-IN goes in equal parts to 6 Saddam lookalikes.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 10:57 AM

Best Special Effects Representing the Actual Mental Processes of Republican Leadership:

The Matrix

Subject: RE: Your Wartime Oscars!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 09:18 PM

BEST ILLUSTRATION OF DUBYA'S O-T-J TRAINING:

Chauncey in Being There.