Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)

Subject: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 03:20 AM

My dad (deceased) used to sing this song with his button accordion. He was in WWII and used to sing the songs he sang in those days, including the Keyhole in the Door (widely available on the net), and the Lavatory Man. I'm seeking the latter one & have looked in a lot of places & asked a lot of people.

There is a 'Lavatory Man' available on the net, but it seems to be an American boy scout sort of a song (Sam Sam etc., or Dan Dan etc.). The song dad sang had the first verse as....


Last Saturday morning
Me wife she says now Bob
Go down to the hooter and get yourself a job
So being a man of action I jumped aboard a tram,
And inside twenty minutes I was the lavatory man

I don't know anymore - does anyone know this song? It is to an Irish traditional tune (which I can't remember the name of - sorry Titirangi folks).

mk.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: GUEST,Micci Messer
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 09:24 AM

I'dont have the lyrics to Lavatory Man. Would anyone have the threads to "shine up your buttons with brasso" it a gas one!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: GUEST,Gazza
Date: 27 Jun 11 - 04:08 AM

Only lyrics i can remeber from this old bawdy song. was the one my wifes grandpa used to sing.

"DAN...DAN... The lavatory man.
cleaning up the crap all day.
in and out urinals, picking up the finals.
don't know shit from clay.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 13 Sep 12 - 02:18 PM

The below is not yet a lyric add. It is from

http://www.horntip.com/html/books_&_MSS/1940s/1945-09-00--1961_mess_songs_and_rhymes_of_the_RAAF_(mimeo)/index.htm

Pago 5a
tic; lavatohy j;an
Last Monday morning the J'issus sa.id, ".Now Bob,
Go down to a steamship and got jraursolf a job#n
So being a man of action, 1 hopped on board a tram,
And twenty minutes later I was a la,vator;r man*
Nov/ my girl Flo, she thinks the world of mo,
But sho doosnft know I work in a ladies1 lavatory,
She comes down to meet mo, dressed in lovely clothes,
But whore the hell sho gets them, God only knows*
Her hats are black and blue and hor shoes are black and tan,
And I know she doesn't got them from the lavatory'- man,
One day upon the gangway from my duties I'm roli.-vod,
"lion looking on the wharf a lovely lady I perceived,
A lovely looking lady, full of grace and charm,
She had a lot of luggage and a baby on hor arm*
I raced down that gangway, just like a knight of old,
And grabbed the infant from her arms, - it was just 3 weeks old
It left a brown and yolloo stajni on my uniform spick and span,
'Bio bastard must have known I was the lavatory aan#

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Oct 12 - 03:28 PM

My old man's a lavatory cleaner
He cleans them by day and by night
And when he comes home in the evening
He stinks of the smell of the...
Sh............ine your buttons with Brasso
It's only three haipence a tin
You buy it or knock it from Woolwoths
It's always full up to the brim

Some say he died of a fever
Others say he died of a fit
But I know what my old man died of
He died of the smell of the
Sh....ine your buttons with Brasso...etc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Oct 12 - 04:26 PM

John Roberts and Tony Barrand sang the above song on their album "Spencer the Rover Is Alive and Well." They called it SHINE YOUR BUTTONS WITH BRASSO. Lyrics are in the DT.

Another version is posted in the thread BS: Toilet humour??? and another, which the poster called MY FATHER'S A LAVATORY CLEANER, was posted in the thread Back of Bus Songs.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: GUEST,Seonaid
Date: 29 Oct 12 - 04:30 PM

With no disrespect for Dave Goulder, I'm imagining a "Lavatory Man" parody based on "The January Man"! Just think of all the types of lavs and loos that could be included....
:-)

Subject: Lyr Add: THE LAVATORY MAN
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Oct 12 - 05:05 PM

I just noticed the lyrics posted by GUEST,999 back on 13 Sep 12. What a mess! Here are the same lyrics with the scannos corrected. The original was a mimeographed booklet where the e's looked like o's, and so on.


THE LAVATORY MAN

Last Monday morning the Missus said, "Now Bob,
Go down to a steamship and got yourself a job."
So being a man of action, I hopped on board a tram,
And twenty minutes later I was a lavatory man.

Now my girl Flo, she thinks the world of me,
But she doesn't know I work in a ladies' lavatory.
She comes down to meet me, dressed in lovely clothes,
But where the hell she gets them, God only knows.

Her hats are black and blue and her shoes are black and tan,
And I know she doesn't get them from the lavatory man.

One day upon the gangway from my duties I'm relieved,
When looking on the wharf a lovely lady I perceived,
A lovely looking lady, full of grace and charm.
She had a lot of luggage and a baby on her arm.

I raced down that gangway, just like a knight of old,
And grabbed the infant from her arms. It was just 3 weeks old.
It left a brown and yellow stain on my uniform spic and span.
The bastard must have known I was the lavatory man.


[This is a strange song; it doesn't seem to tell a complete story. I'd bet something is missing.—JD]

Subject: Lyr Add: THE LAVATORY MAN
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Oct 12 - 10:37 PM

I found this rather strange song with Spotify.


THE LAVATORY MAN
As sung by The 14th Disciple & Freands [sic] on "14 – Fourteen" (2010)

CHORUS: Lavat'ry man—
I clean up all the tinkle.
Lavat'ry man—
I clean around the bowl.
You don't have to care if you accident'ly sprinkle.
The lavat'ry man is ready with his thing to wipe it up.

1. I use detergent 'cause I find it helps with stains.
I pour some disinfectant down the drains.
I take a pride in ev'ry piece of porcelain.
A toilet with a five-star rating—
A bowl of potpourri can cover up the stink.
The insides of my cubicles are pink.
I always leave a little bar of soap beside the sink.
You'll always find a warm seat waiting. CHORUS

2. I might look vacant but my interest's engaged.
It's more than just a way to earn my wage.
I was into toilets from a very early age.
I had a lot of toilet training.
I've grown accustomed to the things that people do.
Ev'rybody needs to have a poo.
I'm in a world of number ones and number twos.
I find a toilet entertaining. CHORUS

3. My toilet roll's amongst the softest in the land.
I never let a bad smell linger.
A fluffy little towel for when you need to wash your hands,
'Cause something's sticky on your finger—
I go to bed each evening with a toilet on my brain.
I wake up in the morning just the same.
If it wasn't for the lavat'ry I think I'd go insane.
I bet you know what I've been dreaming. CHORUS

TAG: I'd like to guarantee a satisfying stay. (Wipe it up.)
I'd like to think I help you flush your cares away. (Wipe it up.)
Sometimes it's easy to forget the simple things, (Wipe it up.)
The joy of cleaning …(?) lavat'ry brings. (Wipe it up.)
No need to pay me 'cause I do it all for fun. (Wipe it up.) FADE

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: GUEST,Seonaid
Date: 02 Nov 12 - 02:51 PM

Imagine having to clean up after those Seven Old Ladies got locked in there....!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Man (not the usual one)
From: GUEST,Phil
Date: 19 Jun 20 - 06:06 PM

Dan Dan the lavatory man
Underneath the ground all day
In and out urinals
Sorting out the finals
Dan did every way
In and out the traps
Sorting out the craps
Didn’t know shit from clay
‘Cause the only thing that Dan could hear
Was ‘Brrut Brrut Brrut’ all day