Punch The Horse April Thread

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 04:12 AM

Great, hope to see ya there, Osson.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 05:57 AM

Deany, ignore last post.
It looks a strong possibillity that I will make yours/oakleys? sesh.I had forgotten that we get into Swansea at seven on the Sunday morning, so unless there is a hitch picking Mrs.Ossonflags up from No.one daughters at the Kidderminster should seeya at the Sun.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 08:44 AM

I am.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 09:03 AM

I am bereft. There is a two week lull in hostilities. The campaign will be resuming at Durty Nellies, Hull, on Saturday 10th May, with brother Oakley in residence.

However, skirmishes will occur at the Sun Inn, Beverley, the next two Sundays, firstly on Sir Roger's Battleground, then on mine. Hope to see some of you there? At least those who aren't in Whitby! Who's away?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 06:34 AM

Could I draw the attention of PTH regular readers to the OBIT-Sue Johnson, Piper, thread. Many of you have contributed already but others who knew here as just "Sue" may not realise as she has not been well enought to play her pipes in public for some time. Ta.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 06:26 AM

Smallpiper, I thank you for your diplomacy. Raggy, where were you when I needed you....???? Have only just recovered from a weekend of abject drunken foolishness. I bow to Johnny-boy's superior skills in the art of Alcohol consumption. Thursday night is a total blur, as was the first half of friday. Oh, well. I possess skills in other areas.....!

Saturday night was a joyous occasion, reuniting with brother Oakley for musical frivolity, marred only by his singular lack of breasts and the reek of garlic emanating from his every pore! And Sunday night was splendid at the Sun Inn with the lovely Nik-Nak. A top weekend, and thanks to all who kept me out of trouble.

And I have given up Whisky forever.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 12:03 PM

Garlic, forsooth!!!!!!

My eyes are still burning! From that and other emissions which delicacy forbids me to mention.

I verily believe the very fragrant chap joins his fresians every day to exist on a diet of damp grass, alternating it with a little light grazing in the garlic fields of south ferriby.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 01:51 PM

And another thing. There is flood warning. High tide is 21.28 and is being propelled up the estuary by a force 5. If we are cut off, he'll put the prices up by a quid at least.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 10:58 AM

The Hope and Anchor, South Ferriby tonight; outside 'til eightish then inside where I will try to force my nipples back from whence they came. It's gonna be cold on the Humber bank. I am cooking this evening, so there might be a discernable whiff of garlic about the place. The rotten rob-dog now charges £2.45 for a pint of Guinness. Get some cans, people. 9. If you want to buy the pub, its £550,000, or 225,000 pints of the black stuff.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 07:37 AM

So where are you boys and Girl playing this weekend?

By the By - We decided that the whiskey drinking contest(10 year old Bushmills single malt) was a draw and Deanie will freely admit that it was the wine that made him retire hurt (I hope the head wasn't too bad yesterday mate)terrible stuff that wine on top of bear9hoi and whiskey.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 05:40 AM

O you are alive then oaklet.Rumour had it that you had fallen in love with a particular winsome looking fresian in the wilds of brittany, and had forsaken all others,including the fasinating penelope to be with her/him.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 07:33 PM

This man know's no shame................allegedly

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 02:45 PM

My word, you are the limit. No wonder you lot have been asked to restict the introduction of your fascinating PTH threads to once per month. Even that is frankly once too often. Why don't the five of you just ring each other and save us having to read this. And Raggytash - you should be ashamed of yourself.

Twillingsgate has a very good butcher - top tripe, Penelope.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 09:00 AM

Come to think of it we have a luncheon engagement at the said Nellies on the saturday aftyernoon deany boy - hope you have recovered from the dual - I have heard that the Smallpliers is a bit good in the quaffing whiskey/whisky stakes.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 08:55 AM

Can I come?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 07:16 AM

Me-thinks Deano that my services will be required a long time prior to Tea-time. What is he going to do, spike your whisky with ..............er ..............er .............more Whisky. Foolish child that he is

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,Said Johnny-boy
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 07:13 AM

With an attitude like that you've already lost Deannie - I play dirty!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 05:58 AM

demister-I think you meant bear garden.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 05:54 AM

i'm not keen on whisky, but i'll challenge anyone expept ossonflsgs to a rum drinking contest, mick is barred from entering as i went to his house one night and we had a few bears , then a bottle of rum each, and singing christy moore and john connolly songs till about 4.30am in the morning, after 1 bottle finished mick said, "you can have some more if ya like, theres another botttle in the cuboard"!, i said no thanks mate, i'm pissed already, so i reckon ossonflags is good at drinking rum and he would win.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 05:43 AM

The gauntlet is down! I shall challenge Smallpiper to a whisky consumption contest at Nellies in Beverley this afternoon, where we shall be engaging in the production of soothing musical sounds at a wedding reception to be held in the beer garden in the blistering sunshine. We'll soon see who the real man is...(Raggy, your assistance may be required by said Johnny-boy come tea-time...)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 05:12 AM

I'll manfully take it for him ................once more the brave Raggytash steps into the breach, with scant regard for his own safety, thinging selflessly to rescue the poor lad from the terrors of Whisky

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 04:19 AM

Noreen of course we know what we are doing - and if anyone takes it seriously then shame on them! The boy can't take his whisky thats all :-)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 04:09 AM

heloo, i put some rum in my hot choceralat one day, and it went all lumpy, so i threw it away and just drunk rum on its one.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 04:03 AM

On a positive note,in steps the noble ossonflags to take on the past role of the soothing ointment covered oaklet.

Come on you fellows. Less of this spitting and spatting - think team - let's sit us down, smoke a soothing pipe or two, sip a refreshing non alcholic beverage or three and yarn about how amazingly atractive I am untill the ambulances arrive.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 09:34 PM

So you're aware of what you're doing, on a public forum? !

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 07:53 PM

Noreen - A wise woman would keep her distance at this point in the pissing contest unless she has a mack and brolly handy!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 07:13 PM

Now now kiddies... what are you like?!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,Johnny-boy
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 01:42 PM

Up yours mate you have no idea just how much poo you would be in, there would be NO escape!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 12:42 PM

Thanks for the offer of assistance, Nick. Think I need to wear boxing gloves and me bike helmet on sunday night, by the sound of it. He doesn't scare me...I've escaped from deeper poo than that, Johnny-boy.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 11:39 AM

Ah but Raggytash he does not consume it, it consumes him we must be watchfull and save him from it. Every time he buys the stuff we should drink it for him.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 11:36 AM

Raggytash once steps into the breach ..............
Whisky consumption a speciality, if you find yourself struggling with the Whisky or even Whiskey (I'm not averse to a drop of the Irish) Deany boy I will race to your side and profer my assistance anytime old chum, just say the word

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,Not at all scared smallpiper
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 11:33 AM

Deanie you on a rampage would be good to see but I am not afraid of you, grasshopper. I will remove the Whisky or even Whiskey from your child like grasp and give you a well diserved slap around the lug. I know what inhibitions it removes from you and if you touched the sacred one you would be in such deep poo that you would need that JCB to dig you out. The warning has been issued it will not be repeated. Learn and your life will be sweet otherwise..... here comes the poo!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 10:40 AM

This has gone FAR ENOUGH!!!!! I might even have to recommence Whisky consumption just to recover my manhood now. Watch out, Johnny-boy-smallpiper....!!! Deanie on the rampage...!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Sir Roger de Beverley
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 09:19 AM

I see if Steve can install a handpump for Ovaltine before Sunday - do you take it extra cold or normal?

Rog

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 08:31 AM

It does, Deany, it does.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 07:05 AM

Does that mean I can come? Wehey!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 04:48 AM

I agree Deany,this is getting very silly.We all know you would sell your soul for a steaming beaker of Bovril at snooze time !!

On a more (or less) informative note, the boxing nags are plying at "The Hope and Anchor " South Ferriby this very Saturday, with the return of the lovely and exciting Oaklet fresh from his Fresian rustling exploites in outer Brittany.

On Sunday we will be strutting our stuff at "The Sun" in Beverley along with the very lovely and talented Nikki.

Just so there is no misunderstanding from previouse threads, there is a fair indication that large amounts of bear9hoi will be consumed at both performances - so bring the drinking trouserings axeman!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 03:30 AM

I detect a degree of thread drift here!!! Any chance we might cease discussing my night time beverage preferences please??? And Les, you cad, you may find yourself bereft of opportunities to sing at my session if you continue!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 16 Apr 03 - 03:07 AM

I am showing a lot of concern about these unfounded rumours about our high stepping, virile axethrasher.
It was a mug of OVALTINE Noreen!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 15 Apr 03 - 04:27 PM

I've been told that only a mug would go to bed with him!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 15 Apr 03 - 01:08 PM

I've been told that he's been known to go to bed early, with a mug of cocoa... phuh!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 15 Apr 03 - 11:58 AM

Any time, dear boy. You know me, anything to obleege9.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Apr 03 - 04:42 AM

Why thankyou for your contribution to my downfall, osson.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 12:03 PM

From where I am sitting he has just blown that reputation.

" He has a big new volvo, a bike and model T
But the pride of his possessions is his yellow JCB !! "

Keep diggin'Axeman!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 09:28 AM

This is what happens when you have a reputation to maintain...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 09:14 AM

I reckon I need a bigger spade....think I have a JCB knocking about somewhere....!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 08:11 AM

So, what you told me about never drinking was a lie, Mr Dean?

Looks like you've been caught out here one way or the other :0)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 04:56 AM

It was neat gin. Don't believe a word of it, folks...!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 04:38 AM

I have photographic evidence so Deanie how much we talking to suppress the evidence then? Make me an offer!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse April Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 03:49 AM

Just goes to show you really can't believe everything you read in the Newspapers....water indeed...PAH!