Lyr Req: Shipping Forecast (Les Barker)

Subject: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 12 Apr 03 - 05:42 PM

I'd love to see these if anyone has a copy.

Sal

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: JudeL
Date: 12 Apr 03 - 05:45 PM

For the full effect get hold of a recording ... it's his delivery as much as anything that makes it so funny.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Apr 03 - 06:06 PM

I can't help with that one - but here is a site with a few of his other monologues

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: bradfordian
Date: 12 Apr 03 - 06:08 PM

A booklet containing this can be purchased through his web site here

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: widowmaker
Date: 13 Apr 03 - 07:27 AM

Here is the shipping forecast as at 0700 G M T. this morning
Cow in sea area shannon moving slowly eastward and filling
sorry that should read low in sea area Shannon
and now the area reports
Viking, north Utsirra, south Utsirra,East Utsirra, west utsirra, South West
Utsirra and North East Utsirra wind south west rain at times good
Forties Fifties Sixties, Tyne Dogger, German bight, French kiss, and Swiss roll, westerly becoming cyclonic good.
Wight, portland, plymouth Ginger Rogers and finistere; light flatulence, some rain, very good.
Luny, fundy sundy, and mundy; wind south-west becoming cyclonic bloody marvellous.
Rockall; sod all wind heavy showers, absolutely incredible
Malin, Hebrides, Bailey Fair Isle, Cardigan, Pullover and South est Iceland
wind south east, rain at times, slightly disappointing

and now the reports for the coastal stations

Tiree, wind north west 7 miles one thousand and four rising slowly
Butt of lewis: north, 5 miles one thousand and six falling
Wolverhampton: north west as far as the ring-road nine nine eight rising
slowly
Norway nil points
Luxembourg: deux points
Grand Bretagne huit points

hope this helps byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 13 Apr 03 - 09:15 AM

They say laughter is good for you...thanks so much, I now have stomach cramp and cramp in my face! Schantieman is sailing this week and I feel lonely...This has made me feel much better, thank you.

Sal

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Apr 03 - 09:24 AM

Sorry, this is my fault, I mentioned it to her......

I'll get me coat.

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: breezy
Date: 13 Apr 03 - 10:36 AM

come to the Les Barker show at St Albans Friday,30th May this year.
pm for further details
Advance tickets reserve seats

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 06:42 AM

I'd love to but I'll be selling lemonade somewhere, sorry.

Sal

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 07:14 AM

buy the CD "a cardie and a coke" for the real thing. Available from Mrs Ackroyd.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: nickp
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 09:07 AM

And then there's

Scilly automatic..... bloody stupid automatic.....



do you think a translation might help for non-UK Catters?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 09:22 AM

Nah...#>8-))

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: nickp
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 10:14 AM

Yup, suppose you're right!!! Leave them mystified!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 10:17 AM

A translation of the real weather forecast for non-sailors would help!

It's never been quite the sae for me since they closed down the Goeree light tower automatic weather station. (Betcha didn't know that's how you spell it!)

Steve

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Les Barker's 'Shipping Forecast' anyone?
From: nickp
Date: 14 Apr 03 - 10:53 AM

Real weather's easy - whatever it says the answer is wet and windy!