Lyr ADD: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter

Subject: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,Uncle Steve
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 12:32 PM

Searched the digitrad and only found a brief reference. Does anybody know additonal verses to this one? It's been around for ages...

There's a skeeter on my peter
Whack it off (Whack it off!)
There'es a skeeter on my peter
Whack it off (Whack it off!)
There's a dozen on my cousin
You can hear the bastards bussin'
There's a skeeter on my peter
Whack it off (Whack it off!)

Thanks in advance, musicologists, for an in-depth scholarly review of this gem.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: kendall
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 01:07 PM

It's a bit sophomoric for my collection.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 01:20 PM

But perfect for a camp singalong with 12 year olds!

~S~

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: curmudgeon
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 07:17 PM

I would add puerile to Kendall's assessment -- Tom

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 07:39 PM

Actually, I'm not looking for judgement about tastes or suitability. THAT'S a pretty slippery slope to head down, nature of this discussion group considered.

Just trying to round out a collection of curiousities that I keep on hand. That doesn't make me sophomoric and peurile, does it? Hmmmmm....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 08:28 PM

look at me!!!!! i'm curmudgeon and i know a bunch of obscure words to protect my haughty, smug, and here's one for you.....supercilious point of view. i'll be the first to admit the the song is not in the best of taste but neither is your name. how about easing up. the guest didn't deserve that!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 08:34 PM

He did ask for an in-depth scholarly review of this gem though, GUEST guest, whereas nobody asked for a personal criticism, nor did they ask you to provide one.
And I'm sorry, Uncle Steve, but I've never heard more verses than this- never heard this gem at all :-)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 08:39 PM

And nobody called you sophomoric or puerile, Uncle Steve, merely the song. Unless you identify strongly with the song?? :0)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,Uncle Steve
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 09:10 PM

Errr... Sorry, but I guess what I thought would clearly be understood as a playful embellishment ("in-depth scholarly review") could have been misconstrued. I mean, we're talking about a playfully off-color nonsense song, fer Gawd's sake... It's not as though I were making sport of 1860s-era regional variations of "The House Carpenter's Wife," is it?

So official notice is now given: No, I don't expect peer review and scholarly assessments of the request. Apologies to any and all legitimate musicologists (heck, the illegitimate ones, too) for my clumsy and insensitive attempt to humorously acknowlege my self consciousness in searching for a few odd verses of less than respectable stature. Merely trying to tap into the collective wit and wisdom of the 'Cat for a wee bit of fun.

Sheesh! When did this become so much work?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 09:13 PM

Some of you folks say "sophomoric or puerile" like it's a bad thing...

You'll never starve, playing to the lowest common denominator...

Look at how much $$ you can make playing rugby songs at a frat party... and it's a hell of a good time!

:-)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,Uncle Steve
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 09:29 PM

Yeah, and for that matter, at one place where I've been playing, all the regulars clamour for something they call "The Rodeo Song," which the standing house band closes every night with. Near as I can tell, it uses all sorts of cuss words that I'd never catch myself dead singing in public.

Part of the problem is that it's got a fairly transient, transitional crowd. Place can turn on a time from a room full of folks actually listening to my originals to bands of marauding tourista barhoppers cruising in for a shot and a chance to stand up on the stage and sing "American Pie" or "Margueritaville" with me while their girlfriends flash their $5,000 cosmetic enhancements.

God, I love this job.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 01:22 AM

The MELODY IS - "John Brown's Body"

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

WYSIWYG - It is not appropriate for church groups at any age - why would YOU promote it?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 01:27 AM

Uncle Steve - Thank you a most worthy contribution to the Digital Tradition. I'm surprised Dick and Susan had never gleaned this ditty....but with luck it might be included in their next publication.

In the interest of "scholarly annotation" when (date) and where (location) did you first become acquainted with the musical piece?

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 01:30 AM

Uncle Steve - stick around awhile - we need more of your kind.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: curmudgeon
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 07:33 AM

Uncle steve -- No offense was intended. If you are serious in your pursuit, look for a copy of "The Dirty Songbook" by E.R. Linton (aka Ed Cray) This particular song is not listed in the table of contents, but you might glean some reference to something similar.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 08:37 AM

Gargoyle- Maybe this works with the tune of "John Brown's Body" for you but I hear "If You're Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands." But you're probably just stringing us along.

Uncle Steve- I'm sure there's a whole set of verses out there somewhere that campers have sang around their fires as the evening shadows darken, with each verse focusing on a choice body part to rhyme with. Now what rhymes with pimple?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: dwditty
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 09:05 AM

HEY...watch who you call bawdy! *BG*

DW Ditty

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,ghost
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 09:11 AM

I first heard this one by a particularly fine entertainer/guitarist. He didn't use either of the previous tunes mentioned. He started with verses from the song "There's A Fly On My Music".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,ghost
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 09:22 AM

There's A Fly On My Music had apparently been one of Spike Jones' hits and was recorded by him in 1944. It looks like it's available on the second disc of this four disc set.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,GUEST
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 10:56 AM

Well Noreen, by your own rationale nobody asked for your two cents either. What's next Noreen? A silent forum? I must have missed the part where you shed some scholarly light on the subject. If you've never heard the song and obviously not interested in having any kind of fun what did you click on it for in the first place? Did the title get you a little aroused? However, I digress. I haven't been on the forum an awful lot but it seems to me that most Mudcatters like a good joke as well as a good ribbing. It's generally a fun place to be. Share a smile already!

Changed from all caps. --JoeClone, 25-Apr-03.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 11:01 AM

Other people's problems sure get tedious.

CN

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,Uncle Steve
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 11:01 AM

Excellent... we're warming to the topic. Thanks, all, for your thoughts.

I first heard the tune from a counselor/guide whilst on a canoe trip in the Boundary Waters along the Minnesota/Canada border, back in the mid-1970s. And it was to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It" (Now THERE'S a tune worth tracking backwards). As the 13-year-old kid that I was, it was an enthralling experience.

Then to my surprise, as a college student in Minneapolis, I heard it done by a John Valby wanna-be (Rats, what WAS that guy's name... Johnny Holmes?) who used to tour the midwest with a band called the "INSERT NAME Experience" staging raucous debacles. The band played a mix of Dr. Dirty/Dr. Demento stuff, blended together with a Firesign Theatre sensibility for a stage show.

Curmudgeon -- Thanks for the book suggestion. I'll snare a copy of that one!

s.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,Q
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 12:01 PM

So far, no luck, Uncle Steve. This fine old song is not in the Bodleian Ballads at Oxford, nor in the Library of Congress, nor in Bruce Olsen's site. Haven't checked the Carter Family yet.

Our happy friends at the National Institute of Health have "Happy and You Know It." What, Me Happy?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 12:17 PM

Is there a verse that starts "There's a tick on my...."? Or did i just make that up

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,sly
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 12:20 PM

I recently heard a live recording of the song (with several other verses) on XM radio -- either on the "XM Comedy" or "Special X" channel.   you could always phone or email the DJ to inquire about who recorded it so you could hunt it down. (Or, if you have an XM radio, you could simply request that they play the song again.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 04:29 PM

Mea Culpa-

Uncle and Charley - you are most assuridly RIGHT.

My original tune posting was based on a cursively quick glance.

The version I heard was circa 1966 from South Carolina.

There's a skeeter on my peter
So I had to wack-it-off.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 04:34 PM

A net search brings us to:

http://www.parlornotes.com/nonsense/cousinbilly.htm

There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off!
There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off!
There's a nuther on my bruther,
won't you whack that little muther,
There's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off!

Whack it off, whack it off!
Won't you whack it off for me?
It be the most fun you can have,
lest you find a nursin' calf,
Whack it off, whack it off!
Won't you whack it off for me?,

There's anodder on my cuzin,
Cain't you hear that sucker buzzin?
There's anodder on my cuzin,
Won't you whack it off for me?

Whack it off, whack it off!
Won't you whack it off for me?
It be the most fun you can have.

Sincerely,

Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 04:39 PM

From this web-journal is another variation and tune:
http://www.joannemerriam.com/journal/2001/nov01/01a.html

Tracey and Duane taught me this song (loosely to the tune of "She'll Be Coming Around The Mountain"): "There's a skeeter [i.e. mosquito] on my peter whacking off./ There's a skeeter on my peter whacking off./ There's a dozen on my cousin,/ I can hear the fuckers buzzin'./ There's a skeeter on my peter whacking off."

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 04:43 PM

Well, Gargoyle, in the eyes of some you have redeemed your reputation, in the eyes of others you've just reinforced it.BG

Cheerily,
Charley Ignoble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 04:56 PM

The "skeeter" WAV file at this site reminded me of the verse I heard in 1966...Similar to the one they's recorded..."She'll Be Comin Round the Mountain:"
http://wavthis.com/X.html

Play the WAV you'll like it!

Between the wack off verses is:

She was going down the mountain at a 100 miles an hours
When the chain on her bicycle broke.
They found her on the grass With the sprocket up her ass And her titties playing Dixie in the spokes.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Uncle Steve
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 05:06 PM

Thanks, gargoyle, for the search and recollections.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 05:07 PM

And still another version from my old fraterity's page.

Chorus:

There's a skeeter on my Peter, whack it off; Whack it off!
There's a skeeter on my Peter, whack it off; Whack it off!
There's a dozen on my cousin, I can hear the bastards buzzin'.
There's a skeeter on my Peter, whack it off.

She was drivin' down the road doin' 293.
When the chain on her motorcycle broke.
Well they found her in the grass, with the muffler up her ass.
And her titties playin' Dixie on the spokes.

(Chorus)

There's a bummer on my hummer, Sweet Marie.
There's a blister on my sister, can't you see.
There's some crap in my lap, I think I got the clap.
There's a skeeter on my Peter, whack it off.

(Chorus)

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,ghost
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 06:23 PM

My friend who played it also combined it with some other verses from a dittie that went

There may be cooties on some of you beauties but there ain't no cooties on me.
There may be fleas on some of your knees but there ain't no fleas on me.
There may be bugs on some of you mugs but there ain't no bugs on me.
There may be skeeters on some of your peters but there ain't no skeeters on me.
There may be flies on some of you guys but there ain't no flies on me.
There may be slugs on some of your jugs but there ain't no slugs on me.
etc....

Easily transferable to whatever tune you'd wish. Have at it and enjoy the fun.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,GUEST
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 09:08 PM

i apoligize charlie noble for burdening him with my problems. i was only having some fun in trying to defend the curiousity of uncle steve. (he can fully defend himself however) but to get to the point i've found a few tid-bits here and there that might be of intrest to the curious mind. for starters i found gargoyle's lyrical version on yet another site. as to the tune, it sounds an awful lot like if you're happy and you know it but, regretably, i've found very little info on the origins of that song. only that a d-a-g progression fits nicely. if you are from the coming round the mountain camp there is an a lot of history behind that song as being an old railroad tune. it is believed to reflect a famous woman of the rr labor movement in the appalachains. on the other hand some people contend it is more vague and originated in the west around colorado. if this is the case i suspect that skeeter on my peeter originated from railroad workers as a bar room spoof of this tune. just a guess??? if you want to hear a funky version of skeeter on my peeter the jam band moe has covered it on several occasions. i'm not sure about dates and places of recordings but i'm sure you can easily find what your looking for.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 11:48 AM

dimple rhymes with pimple...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 05:40 PM

Gargoyle,

We used to sing it as:

She was comin' round the corner
`Bout 90 miles an hour
When the chain on her motorcycle broke
She was found in the grass
With the muffler up her ass
And her tits playing "Dixie" on the spokes


Another dumbass one I remember from my childhood:

Let me tell ya a little story `bout a man named Jed
He stripped Ellie-May and threw her on the bed
Pulled down the zipper; out popped the worm
Then came out that bubblin' sperm

Wouldn't it be nice if we could do a delete and refrag and reclaim some lost brain space?...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 07:28 PM

Well Cluin - THANKS!!

You just defragged another from the all elusive memory that immediately forgets the Latin future-perfect-past-tense conjugative chart but never forgets the rhyme told you once in an elementry school yard. West Coast 1962

(Tune - Under the Old Apple Tree) It was under the old Model T
When she first showed it to me
It was hairy and black
And she called it her crack
But it looked like a man-hole to me.

So I took out my 14 inch pole
And stuck it up her man-hole
She started to scream
So I let out the cream
She started to cry
So I pissed in her eye
It was under the old Model T

In a similar thread a more sophisticated version is recalled.

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=5478#667232

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

BTW - I was surprised to discover this week that a "bawd" is the female proprietress of a house of prostitution.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Cluin
Date: 20 Apr 03 - 11:49 PM

Ha!
My uncle used to sing it:

In the shade of the old apple tree
Is where she first showed it to me
It was smelly and brown
with hair all around
But it looked like a bird's nest to me

So I took out my Pride of New York
It fitted her just like a cork
She giggled, "Tee hee,
Take it out while I pee..."
In the shade of the old apple tree.

followed by

Walkin' down Main Street, lookin' in ev'ry door
I'll be a sonofabitch if I could find a whore..."

There's more but that's enough of that one.

There were a few others:

Two Dutchmen
Brown, Brown, Dirty Old Brown (The Ballad of Officer Reilly)
The Ring Dang Doo
Stompin' Tom's version of Green Green Grass of Home

Then my cousin and I would throw a few MacLean & MacLean ones into the mix:

The Fox and Fuck Ya and:

All day, all night, Mary-Ann
All day, all night, Mary-Ann
All day, all night, Mary-Ann
What the hell do you think I am, Superman?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 12:28 AM

Oh the boys up at Yale get no tailBack to skeeter/peter. I heard it to the tune of a college-style ditty caled Drik 'Er Down. The next verse was:


Oh the boys up at Yale get no tail
Oh the boys up at Yale get no tail
For lack or recreation
They reort to masturbation
It's a hell of a situation up at Yale.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,Baillie
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 04:56 PM

...I can just about work out what a 'Peter' is but what's a 'Skeeter'?
is it some kind of fish or what? ...come on you Yanks I'm English!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 05:04 PM

'Skeeter' is just a country term for 'mosquito.'

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Giac
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 05:06 PM

Mosquito, in Southern (US).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: reggie miles
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 11:18 PM

A tiny, annoying, vampire-like, blood-sucking, winged, flying insect that produces a telltale soft buzzing and delights in depriving most of normal night's sleep by the use of a dive bomber type technique when in close proximity and trapped inside one's bedroom at night.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 12:08 AM

It's the males who do all the whining to attract the females who do the stabbing and sucking.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 12:29 AM

Reggie - You have captured the essence of their diabolical nature

Also, you have almost tempted me into posting a brief narrative, handwritten, bound in a family book. It is about a mosquito - it is brillant in its language and purported to be an unpublished piece by E.A. Poe.

Sincerely,

Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 11:44 PM

There are elements of fly-fishing here.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Cluin
Date: 16 May 03 - 12:22 AM

Remember?...

Whistle while you work
Hitler was a jerk
Mussolini
Bit his weenie
Then it wouldn't squirt.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 16 May 03 - 01:09 AM

Variation on the above: West Coast - circa mid 1950's elementry school playground.

Whistle while you work
(Insert person's name) --- ---- is a jerk
Mr. Genie
Shot his weenie
Now it doesn't work.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Cluin
Date: 16 May 03 - 01:15 AM

Then there was the tune they whistled in "Bridge on the River Kwai":

Hitler... has only got one ball
Goering... has two, but very small
Himmler... I hear is sim'lar
And they say Goebbels
Has no balls
At all.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bawdy ditty - Skeeter on my Peter
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 13 May 04 - 05:51 PM

I seem to remember from Scout camp:

"I'm for ever swatting skeeters,
Little things that buzz & bite.
They fly so high, in earth & sky,
And like my dreams they come at night..."

(ttto; Blowing bubbles)

Nigel