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BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.

Rick Fielding 24 Apr 03 - 02:39 PM
MMario 24 Apr 03 - 02:48 PM
harvey andrews 24 Apr 03 - 02:57 PM
John MacKenzie 24 Apr 03 - 02:58 PM
Clinton Hammond 24 Apr 03 - 03:07 PM
Amos 24 Apr 03 - 03:18 PM
MMario 24 Apr 03 - 03:20 PM
GUEST,Matt_R 24 Apr 03 - 03:26 PM
Amos 24 Apr 03 - 03:27 PM
CarolC 24 Apr 03 - 03:28 PM
Amos 24 Apr 03 - 03:31 PM
MMario 24 Apr 03 - 03:34 PM
katlaughing 24 Apr 03 - 03:35 PM
Don Firth 24 Apr 03 - 04:05 PM
Ebbie 24 Apr 03 - 04:17 PM
Peter T. 24 Apr 03 - 04:41 PM
Amos 24 Apr 03 - 04:53 PM
GUEST,maire-aine, not home yet 24 Apr 03 - 05:00 PM
CarolC 24 Apr 03 - 05:03 PM
Beccy 24 Apr 03 - 05:06 PM
Rick Fielding 24 Apr 03 - 05:55 PM
Uncle_DaveO 24 Apr 03 - 05:56 PM
The O'Meara 24 Apr 03 - 06:05 PM
Uncle_DaveO 24 Apr 03 - 06:08 PM
Bill D 24 Apr 03 - 06:12 PM
harvey andrews 24 Apr 03 - 07:32 PM
Little Hawk 24 Apr 03 - 07:35 PM
Jeri 24 Apr 03 - 07:43 PM
harpgirl 24 Apr 03 - 08:06 PM
Peg 24 Apr 03 - 08:21 PM
GUEST,Jon 24 Apr 03 - 08:40 PM
GUEST,Jon 24 Apr 03 - 08:47 PM
catspaw49 24 Apr 03 - 08:54 PM
GUEST 24 Apr 03 - 09:05 PM
Sorcha 24 Apr 03 - 09:13 PM
Jeri 24 Apr 03 - 09:26 PM
Amos 24 Apr 03 - 09:30 PM
catspaw49 24 Apr 03 - 10:09 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 Apr 03 - 10:23 PM
catspaw49 24 Apr 03 - 10:30 PM
katlaughing 24 Apr 03 - 10:47 PM
Sorcha 24 Apr 03 - 10:49 PM
Steve Latimer 24 Apr 03 - 11:13 PM
Amos 24 Apr 03 - 11:24 PM
catspaw49 24 Apr 03 - 11:58 PM
Thomas the Rhymer 24 Apr 03 - 11:59 PM
Gurney 25 Apr 03 - 04:44 AM
Jeri 25 Apr 03 - 06:59 AM
Amos 25 Apr 03 - 09:42 AM
Bat Goddess 25 Apr 03 - 10:46 AM

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Subject: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 02:39 PM

Warning: Jokes and irony below. Not to be taken (too) seriously.

I've told bits of this sordid tale in other threads over four years, but perhaps I'll give you the full story, and if anyone else has any deep dark hostilities and phobias, they can add to it.

My folks decided when I was about 13 that as a weird little kid, I really should get away from home. Now a stint in Military school simply isn't the "Canadian Way", so they picked out a very expensive snotty upper crust "British style" Private school in Montreal called 'Lower Canada College'. In Britain, I think it would be called a 'public school'.

The crimes that got me sent there were many:

I was an only child.

Although good at baseball, drawing, and reading, I simply panicked when I got to my regular school and became a terrified neurotic mess. Even had some instances of "hysterical blindness", which scared the living shit out of me!

Apparently I had an absolute fear and loathing of authority, so.......

...they sent me to this school where every little uniforned snot had a thousand rules to obey, and an equal number of duties to perform. Discipline was meted out by paedophiles with cricket bats, and the British Class system seemed to be honoured and respected. T'was very tough going....I got knocked around a bit, got even lower marks, and eventually just decided (didn't know it at the time) to completely re-invent my whole world. One in which I made the rules.

Anyway......ONIONS!!

We used to eat at big long tables (not unlike the ones in Harry Potter) with a teacher...oops, MASTER, at each one. One night, along with the sort-of OK food came a big plate of CREAMED ONIONS. I didn't really want one, but I didn't have a phobia or alergy or anything....I just didn't want one.

"You there! Young Fielding, eat your onions", came the voice from the end of the table. Well....I didn't. And.....I wouldn't. Ten minutes later, the Master excused the rest of the students, looked at me and said slyly "You're not leaving until you eat your onions, Fielding, and I can wait longer than you can"!! By now, they were a congealed mess, and I was really scared........but somehow the God that protects weirdos, nerds and stand-up comics was with me.

Almost two hours later the master stood up angrily and stomped off. So did I. The plate of onions remained. To this day my stomache will instantly turn if I bight into an onion.......so I try not to!

Standing up to that teacher would be such a minor thing for a student today......but for me.....then........it was HUGE.

And then I discovered WOODY GUTHRIE.....who also made up his own rules.

Cheers

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 02:48 PM

creamed onions rank next to lobster as a candidate for the 'food of the gods'

nice thick slices of raw onion with rare roast beef on wholegrain bread makes a sandwich to die for.

ain't much of nothin' that can't be improved on by adding onion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: harvey andrews
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 02:57 PM

My wife Wendy has exactly the same problem from exactly the same cause. In her case it's butterbeans. Even seeing a tin in a supermarket brings back Rick's scenario for her and she leaves the building!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 02:58 PM

Rick I'm afraid that every time I get to cooking, most everything starts with onions;stews,curries,soups, and even like MMario sandwiches. Oh and did I forget salads????
Sorry I'm an Alium addict.
With tears in my eyes......Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:07 PM

I thought this was gonna be a rant against the parody news website...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:18 PM

Rick,

I applaud you; I always sensed you were a kindred soul. I have made similar stands of my own both at home and in a variety of school situations; I reduced my own mother to a bedraggled and exhausted wreck, emerging from the living room after a three-hour confrontation (of her choosing) over a bowl of oatmeal I was unwilling to eat; I won. I stood up to the jeers of classmates for refusing to eat concoctions which would put a housepet off his feed. I have infuriated and frustrated hostesses and cooks from here to Albuquerque by being so damned fussy about food. But somehow I almost always managed to hold the line.

As a fellow Eating Rebel, I hail your integrity and success. Hold that line!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:20 PM

but...but...not eating onions is equivilant to deciding to not need oxygen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:26 PM

I have always though it the back of my mind, cheese & onions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:27 PM

Yo, Matt!! Too long, buddy.

Have some onions!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:28 PM

Mine is minestrone soup. Only in my case, it was my mother who was trying to make me eat it. And it was waiting for me, cold, the next morning for breakfast.

Lima beans make me want to puke also, but that's because they're lima beans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:31 PM

To me, that makes perfect sense, Carol!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:34 PM

for me it was green peas - oddly enough now one of my favorite vegetables!

I never got away with refusing to eat them completely - like Carol - I would find them waiting at the next meal; but they eventually stopped making me eat them because we all got tired of cleaning up the result.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 03:35 PM

Oh, Rick, what courage! What a rotten bully of a "Master!" Too bad it wasn't really like Harry Potter; you could have learned some wizardy and turned the wanker into a toad!

Have to say, though, that I enjoy a good flavouring of onion, esp. since I married the French-Canadian descendant so many years ago...he's very partial to them, in fact his potato salad should be called onion salad, there are so few potatoes!

Also, my dad still swears by onion sandwiches. He has one almost every day with just plain old white bread and regular mayo! Only about 2 weeks to his 86th b-day.

I hope this little indulgence, nay this confession has been good for your soul and perhaps, ah yes, one may perhaps give thanks, that it has purged you of all negativity regarding the lowly, healthful onion and that you will once again trod the Path of Layered Truth.

katKeeperofthePeels


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 04:05 PM

Ah, Rick, poor Rick. . . .

Not an unknown phenomenon. A traumatic experience with certain foods can leave one with a lifetime deprived of the joys that others know.   

I love oranges. Despite Anita Bryant, a day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine, and oranges in any form delight my taste buds and bring joy to my soul. They reaffirm my contention that life is good and that, although the Universe is neutral to our fate both as individuals and as a species, if it didn't have random aspects that are at least accidentally benevolent to living entities, we wouldn't be here at all. Oranges freshly peeled (watch out for your thumbnail), orange juice, chocolate covered orange slices. . . .   But I had a friend whose mother, when he was very young, insisted on feeding him a daily shot of castor oil. He couldn't stand the taste of the stuff. Gagged and spit it out, much to his mother's exasperation. But he loved oranges. Sneaky woman that she was, she had a hypodermic needle, so she shot a dose of castor oil into an orange segment and gave it to him. He bit into it. Then the castor oil flowed over his taste buds. Horror upon horror! Betrayed! Like living in the House of the Borgias! Ever since then, the taste, even the smell of oranges made him feel like he was going to throw up. And there are other similar incidents. My wife has a cousin who can't even look at a serving of rice because of a childhood encounter with maggots. Yuck-o!!

But onions. Ever since I was a pup I've loved onions. My older (by two years) sister and I used to make onion sandwiches for lunch when I was about eight or nine. Smear two slices of bread with a skiff of mayonnaise (seems to cut the tendency of some of the more explosive onions to burn a hole through your tongue while preserving their ability to clear your sinuses) with a couple of thick slices of onion between. Then we'd go and breath on the wallpaper and watch it turn brown and peel at the edges. One of my standard lunches is a couple of slices of lunch meat (ham, turkey, pastrami, etc.) and a slice of cheese (any of various kinds—not the pre-sliced stuff) on some fairly exotic bread that my wife picks up from a specialty bakery we like (Wonder bread isn't bread. I don't know what it is, but it isn't bread), or sometimes a split bagel (one of my favorites). A bit of Dijon mustard, a dab of mayonnaisse, and a thick slice of onion. It's so good, why isn't it a sin?

Chacun a son goût (literally), but some day when you're feeling feisty and defiant, sneak up on something like a Walla Walla sweet, take a good bite, then raise a middle digit to the memory of the master at the head of the table and laugh uproariously!!

Don Firth
It's approaching 1:00 here (PDT). Lunchtime. I think I'll go make a sandwich.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 04:17 PM

I like onions. In my case, it was macaroni and Velveeta. My father stood over me threatening corporal-with-a-strap punishment if I didn't shape up right now and eat it. I can't, I wailed. It's slimy. Eat it, he said. I can't, I wailed. It's slimy. Eat it, he said. I vomited right on the floor by my chair. I was as horrified as he. But I never had to eat it again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Peter T.
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 04:41 PM

I remember being in public school in Missouri,and we had to eat 3 bites of everything before we could leave the cafeteria, and the food was uniformly terrible -- the worst was beans and cornbread (I almost puke thinking about them). What this meant in fact was that students used every device known to man to hide the food. Many a day I went away from the cafeteria with wet pockets filled with goopy food.

yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 04:53 PM

Ebbie:

Another bingo!! Another kindred soul!! What is this?? I have ALWAYS protested ingesting anything slimy. Including Velveeta, okra, and brussels sprouts. It has driven the cooks in my life to despair, with the result that I now live chiefly on roast beef, peanut butter sandwiches, and health-food bars! :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: GUEST,maire-aine, not home yet
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 05:00 PM

Mmmm. Nice Bermuda onion, sliced thin, on hearty rye bread with lots of caraway seed, and spread with coarse mustard. Yum. My stomach-clock just went off. Music reference: Snoopy in YOU'RE A GOOD MAN CHARLIE BROWN.

Maryanne


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 05:03 PM

Brussels sprouts are never slimy when they are prepared properly. You have to buy them fresh, never frozen, use them soon after you buy them, and steam them until just tender. Never boil brussels sprouts, and don't over-steam them. Then you eat them with lots of yummy butter and salt, or put them in a nice marinade of red wine vinegar, a little oil, some basil, thyme, salt and pepper for an hour or two and eat them at room tempurature.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Beccy
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 05:06 PM

Mmmmmmmm... onions. My favorite? A thick slab of Vidalia onion with a couple thin slices of cheddar and munster cheese between two slices of hearty wheat bread which have been slathered with butter. Toast to toasted cheese perfection and don't leave the house for the evening!!!!!!!

By the way, re: ClintonHammond's reference to "The Onion" website?!? I HATE THAT SITE! If there's anything that drives me insane it's people who THINK they're clever just because they're off the wall. Don't get me wrong- I'm a BIG fan of off the wall. I think Steven Wright is the funniest guy who ever lived- but honestly, "The Onion"? It's like bad SNL on webspace.

Beccy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 05:55 PM

Just a quick word before I cook some dinner here...and read the posts afterwards...

There's a drawback to all this "making yer own rules" stuff....You have to be self-employed, and since my ticket to freedom was/is music, I've usually been "underfunded".......fortunately I've had sympathetic partners.....and really lucked out with Heather, cuz she didn't want kids. When yer tryin' to support three or four, you have to 'eat a few onions' so to speak, ha ha!

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 05:56 PM

MMario said: "ain't much of nothin' that can't be improved on by adding onion.

Chocolate ice cream?

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: The O'Meara
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 06:05 PM

Fielding: With me it was Catholic school, the nun we called "Sister Mary Sledge," and lime jell-o with carrots in it. (Culinary delight in St. Paul, Minnesota.)

O'Meara


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 06:08 PM

Fifty-some years ago, when I was a sophomore in college, some friends and I had been to downtown Minneapolis to a movie on a Sunday night, and returned to the university area about 9:30 p.m. None of us had had supper, so we went into a coffee shop in Dinkeytown, a little business district just off campus, to have something to eat.

When the waitress asked what I wanted, I dithered. Finally, I remembered something I had had once, and liked.   "I'll have an onion sandwich," quoth I.   

"Okay."

She departed kitchenward, and returned. "Uhh....how do you make that?"

"Well, you take two pieces of bread..."

"Uh-huh."

"...spread them with butter..."

"Uh-huh."

"...put some nice, thick slices of onion on it. Preferably sweet onions, but onions..."

"Uh-huh."

"...salt, and lots of pepper."

"Uh-huh."

"Put the other piece of bread on top."

She paused. Looked at me. "Ohhh! You mean...an...onion...sandwich!!!

It was good.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 06:12 PM

I do not eat 'recognizable' onion...or egg. Cook them well, and mix them thoroughly into SOME dishes, and if I can't identify the chunks, I may eat it. My sainted mother told me I ate eggs until I was 18 months old....then quit suddenly and permanently.

When I was young, I would starve rather that to eat ANY egg or onion, but as an adult I have very gradually learned to tolerate the minimum amounts.

It's truly amazing how tastes differ. But even more amazing are those people who cannot comprehend why YOU would eat differently than they do, and make no attempt to discuss preferences with you when cooking for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: harvey andrews
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 07:32 PM

Amos....sprouts are one of the world's gifts!!! As are cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, peas, mmmmmm yes please!! (lightly boiled, no sauces, veggie gravy)Oh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 07:35 PM

Yowsa! Amos and Rick...kindred souls indeed!!!

I HATE those fascist bastard idiots like that headmaster who try to be little gods on Earth enforcing their twisted will on children, to inflate their engorged sense of CONTROL. Viva la revolucion! I say...

Resist! Resist! Resist! And never give in to the filthy, dictatorial pigs!

Ah...that felt good. :-)

Now, onions. Well, I like onions, but there were a lot of foods I didn't like when I was a kid, that's for sure...specially some of the ones that were slimy. Eggplant was one of the most horrifying, as far as I was concerned. My father loved it, which was further proof that it was a food of the devil.

He was very authoritarian, and determined to make me just like him. I relish in the fact that he did not succeed! (Heh! Heh!)

The various school cafeterias I encountered during public school and high school inflicted numerous awful concoctions on the students. Among they were: Spanish Rice, Spaghetti & Cheese, and various other nameless pasta nightmares...all sharing a catatonic blandness that was truly nauseating, along with a faint but unmistakable hint of dish detergent. It was like Ed Sullivan on a plate.

The chocolate puddings were not much good for eating, but they were fun to play with. I think they may have been fortified with petroleum products, because they had a marvelous elasticity about them. You could turn the whole plate upside down and the pudding wouldn't fall out...usually. If you whacked it a good one, then the whole thing would plop out with a sucking sound and glue itself to the first handy horizontal surface. Very entertaining. This led to some memorable disasters, like the time Tommy Baron was tricked into sitting down on a recently liberated chocolate pudding...and he was wearing white pants at the time! Poor soul...

Rick, I can see why you became such a fine musician and free spirit. Yours is an inspiring story! :-)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 07:43 PM

I wrote a whole long thingie and Mudcat bumped it off!

I said something about how much I loved onions, especially cooked until they're big, fat, tumescent chunks, barely held together by that fragile membrane thing that onions have, and they slither down your throat like tiny, tasty (mushy) goldfish. Tell me what on earth could be more wonderful!

Just don't talk to me about okra, which is, as nearly as I can tell, the vegetable kingdom's answer to snot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: harpgirl
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 08:06 PM

...well I'm with Carol on the lima bean thing. My obsessive compulsive control freak parents made me sit at the table and eat lima beans, green beens, and mushrooms when I was a kid and I used to puke them up regularly. To get revenge I would make a piggy sound right when my brother began drinking his milk and he would spit it across the table onto my father's dinner plate. hahahaha

I ran away when I was sixteen so they sent me to one of those schools like Rick went to but it was day school so I had to GO HOME everyday after school which was the pits. And I had to go to a lovely psychologist named donald Pomeroy, who saved my life and made me want to be like him!

I snuck out on the weekends after everyone went to bed all through high school and had a very interesting secret life! I still hate authority and haven't worked for anyone else in more than ten years! But I'm still a wage slave...harpy... onions I can do without....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Peg
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 08:21 PM

same experience as a kid with many veggies; sat at the table long after the others had left... I eat most of them now but to this day won't touch sweet potatoes (unless they're spicy and french fried!), winter squash or creamed corn...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 08:40 PM

Rick, I can't agree with the school master type of approach - for me it is broad beans (although I can eat them now if very young and fresh) and butter beans. Pip (my mum) had it even worse as she turned vegetarian at a very early age (I believe learning the fate of her friendly pig(let?) from her friend's farm played a part in it). She has told me tales of trying to hide meat in tissue paper as well as putting stuff into her mouth and pretending to eat something that makes her want to throw up...

As for onions, I'm sorry... they are an essential to me, whether crisp and strong in a salad or a sandwich, boiled and served with white sauce, used in a rich onion gravy or even as a starter when making the base for a curry.   

Pip is a keen gardner and usually manages to grow enough onions and the related but sweeter (and I think tastier) shallot to see most of the year out...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 08:47 PM

Jeri, Okra/ Ladies Fingers is wonderful!!! It's been ages since I've been to an Indian but Bhindi Bhaji is always top on my list for side dishes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 08:54 PM

Jeri, I have that same feeling toward clams. A lot of folks are content to simply stab them with a fork, often a small one, and also cook them way too quickly. Some say the look and all is just too much for them. But to me the real way to enjoy them is to heat them slowly and enjoy the fragrance as they open. With a few simple manipulations you can open them to the point that your mouth alone can devour the succulent meat and aromatic juices. That's real eatin'!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 09:05 PM

Ya can't have any puddin' if ya don't eat yer onions.

rr

PS. Hi Matt, How are you doing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Sorcha
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 09:13 PM

Sorry, Rick, but I'm with Giok and Mario on this one..........get busy with the Dremel, it will distract you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 09:26 PM

Jon, I've been told I didn't cook the snot okra correctly, so maybe they get less viscous if you boil the heck out of them.

Spaw, once upon a time the thought of any shellfish would nearly make me barf. I forced myself to swallow a couple of raw ones when I was about 15. I didn't see them as worth eating, but I didn't barf either. You know they put dried, crunchy brine shrimp in kimchee in Korea? Of course, they roast silkworm larva too. I AIN'T eatin' 'em. I fully understand it's just that my culture has an aversion to eating anything with more than 4 legs or land-dwelling critters with no legs on purpose, but it's MY culture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 09:30 PM

Geez, Spaw --

In Thailand we were driven by bus up into the hills near the Burmese border, to a huge outdoor market cum swap meet thing where they sold everything from Chinese ukeleles to deep-fried earthworms and monkey-brains. The tour guide brought a large insect from this haute cuisine spread back to the bus and asked everyone if they would like to try a local delicacy. My Ma-in-law, God bless her, piped right up and said she'd give it a go, which quite surprised Sun Chuyen, our guide. He explained to her that you must turn the grasshopper around and eat it tail first, not looking into its eyes (it was complete and intact, just fried) because you would not want to look into its eyes just before you swallowed it.

I suggest you apply this method to clams in the future. Don't be putting them down your throat with that little pointy part toward you. It will give you bad, x-rated dreams...

(He also told her that in all his years guiding people through those hills he had never before had a Westerner take him up on the offer. He was impressed as hell, but, well, Margaret is that kind of woman.).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 10:09 PM

Rick, I have an "onion Tale" from the other side.....I'm the bad guy!!! Well sorta'............

We had two sisters while fostering that we loved a lot and probably should have adopted, but that's another story. They were with us for 3 years and had their share of problems, none of which they brought upon themselves. Anyway, one day I walk into the alley behind the old barn style garage and find that someone has ripped out a huge chunk of Day Lilies. It's surprising that anything will grow in the small strip of earth alongside the alley, but these things are tough!!! I looked at the mess in the alley, knew immediately "who done it," and went and found the girls (ages 8 and 10 at the time).

ME: "Hey guys, what's with this?"
THEM: "What do you mean Dad?"
ME: "I mean, what's with ripping out the lilies?"
THEM: (insert here a lot of protesting, etc... as it weakens they are finally silent)
ME: "Finished? Let's try this again. What was the point of doing this?"
THEM: "Hem-Haw-Hem-Haw-Blabber-Blather-Babble............"
ME: Once more.....What was the point of tearing the lilies out by the roots?"
THEM: The older one pipes up and says, "We were hungry we thought they were onions and we could eat them!"
ME: .......uh-huh........Onions huh? So you're hungry right? Is that it?"
THEM: "Oh yeah Dad, we were just thinking we could eat them," they both agreed happily thinking I was satisfied with the answer.
ME: Well guys I wish I had known....don't want you hungry....Let's go to the kitchen!"

You know of course what happened next........Neither of them would have eaten a raw onion on a bet so I peeled and sectioned one and put it on the table in front of them with a big smile on my face saying, "There you go guys!!! Finish it all and then you can go back out and play.......but you're not leaving the table til it's gone."

Two hours later we discussed tearing up plants and other property. It didn't cure the problem entirely, but it was another step along the way. Neither though developed an "onion problem" and both loved to tell the story to new foster kids saying, "Don't lie to Dad whatever you do!"

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 10:23 PM

Damn Amos I kinda like those bad x-rated dreams-clams you say, I may have to give those a try!
When I was a kid , well even now I can't eat peas from the can. I love them fresh steamed or raw but those tasteless green giant type, no way. Same with the creamed corn in a can. Can't do it, but I make my own creamed corn that is the best. Scrape the corn, add butter and cream (half and half) and bake 1 hour, then I freeze it. It is so good and sweet and kicks ass over that canned crap.
Onions, I don't think I go a day without eating onions. I think we went through about 50 lbs. or more the last 6 months.
Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 10:30 PM

Amos, interesting as your post was, I was initially completely put-off when you stated it was a "cum swap meet thing." That's disgusting and totally gross and I ain't going nowhere like that, least of all with you!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 10:47 PM

I am was fortunate child. Our father didn't like casseroles or odd veggies. He was a meat and potatoes man. The most exotic we got was homemade pizza which was very good. We always had a green salad with whatever we had for supper, too and water. Dad always had water with his meal.

We had lima beans and ham with cornbread, but we all liked them and it is still a meal I will fix now and then because it is so tasty, though I make it without the ham these days.

I cannot stomach the smell of Rog's homemade pea soup. Never had to eat peas, didn't like them when I tried them and that smell!! Peigh-Yew!**bg**

Spaw, we have to get you and Rog together. He eats corn and clams the same way you do!

Oh, the one thing mom cooked which I enever did eat was liver and onions. I'd eat the bacon and that was it. That is another smell I cannot stomach. Hmmmm...it seems smells of food have always been an important thign for me when it comes to food and whether I will eat it or not.:-)

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Sorcha
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 10:49 PM

Jeri, only way I can eat okra is battered/breaded and deep fried. Pretty good then, acutally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 11:13 PM

I like just about everything, much to my chagrin. A lot of things that have been mentioned here are making my mouth water. I like onions any way that I can get them, love Garlic. Kat, you beat me to the liver. It and lamb are about the only things that I've tried that I don't like.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 11:24 PM

Spaw:

That remark was below you, if such a thing is possible. Just because I left out a hyphen, you have to go guttersnipe on me. Dang. Anyway, watch where you point those clams, now....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 11:58 PM

Yeah, sorry Amos......It was I'm sure just a mistake on your part, a bit premature with your input I guess. Anyway, my remark was one of those things that just shot right out there........

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 11:59 PM

With enemies like that, who needs friends?

Rick! ...imagine my suprize when I stumbled on to this tread... long after I posted on the vegi-thread...

Eggplant, canned mushrooms (we called them 'dog noses'), peas, lima beans (which I would very willingly stir around all night), squid (my dad loves it), and to this day, I will not eat chicken unless my life depends on it... Oh, and I nearly forgot... Hot Dogs. When I was a kid, we had hot dogs somewhere near Reno, and then drove at night on the winding roads... exhaust leak... I have never been so... well anyway, I won't eat tofu-dogs either...

Roast beef anyone? Oh, the roast beef of old England... And old English roast beef! ttr


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Gurney
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 04:44 AM

When I was a lad, I worked in the mines as a ring-dragger (work that one out!) and the motor-man on our haulage always ate two big Spanish Onions every day, crunching into them like apples. Put me off them for years.
Onions give you wind. Leeks give you more wind.

As you get older, your tastes change, and you tend more to bitters and sours. So, maybe you will get to like them one day. I grew to like onions and brussels sprouts and spinach. Never would have believed it once.
It was a brave man who first ate an oyster. His name was probably Uggh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Jeri
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 06:59 AM

Amos and Spaw, y'all be nice. All this back-and-forth stuff is irritating to the clams.

I've been told the legs can get in the way when eating a grasshopper, and it's best to remove them. That might be just a bit drastic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 09:42 AM

Awww, okay, Jeri. Don't want no Annoyed Clams 'round here, I guess - it makes 'em stick those pointy parts out, and that gets Spaw started again. Reminds him of cigars, or something...I wouldn't know. As a picky eater, clams have been one of of the species I make a regular deal with -- I don't eat them, an' they don't eat me.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Onion...My Life Long Enemy.
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 10:46 AM

I dunno Rick. We have similar tastes on a lot of things, but not this. "Creamed onions!" I said lasciviously not too many minutes ago. It's been waaaaay too long (because Tom does all the cooking and, oh, I sort of forget about my indulgences some times when I've got the opportunity.

Well, took care of that straight off. Here it is, 10 o'clock in the morning, and I had to throw too much butter into a pan and slice up a mess o' onions. Ummm, dash of flour, enough cream, sprinkle of salt & pepper. I almost scarfed it down right from the pan, but I actually put it in a dish, which still bears traces of the too much butter part (but the onions are GONE).

My mother always put them over potatoes and that I can live without. As a matter of fact, I can live without the potatoes I was brought up on -- BOILED. Ugh! I'll eat 'em any other way, but it's been over 40 years since there's been a boiled potato on my plate. (Not counting, of course, the little "new" potatoes -- drowning in butter and with fresh parsley.)

The hot lunch program at my gradeschool in Milwaukee in th '50s did me in on a lot of things though. They screwed up macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes (another thing I wouldn't eat until Curmudgeon made them from scratch and suggested -- suggested -- I eat them), pumpkin pie fer-pete's-sake! It took years to recover. How can you make pumpkin pie inedible?

I don't particularly care for lima beans, but I can't remember any particular incident that caused it. Funny , because I like fava beans.

And in my head I don't like green bell peppers, but in actuality, I eat and like stuffed peppers, Italian sausage subs with onions and peppers, and even pepper rings in salads. Go figure.

But there's no life without onions and garlic . . .

Linn


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