Punch the Horse May Thread

Subject: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 11:39 AM

It is believed that Punch the Horse may thread, please be warned of this impending action. It could result in serious injury for those unwary enough to approach too closely. Treat this threading with extreme caution.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: MMario
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 11:40 AM

I know you are in an earlier time zone, but you're rushing it a bit, aren't you?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 11:53 AM

Damn you, Raggy, u beat me to it!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 07:11 PM

erm May what?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Apr 03 - 01:45 AM

Then, on the other hand, is there not the distinct possibility the Punch the Horse may NOT thread???? And what will be the fate of this thread if PTH decides not to thread????

Of course, you could just start another thread called "Refusal to Thread in The British Folk Movement".


Bruce (aka Smart-Assed Yank Bastard)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 30 Apr 03 - 07:34 PM

So where can we see and hear the Girl and Boys in May then?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 01 May 03 - 04:29 AM

Dunno Smallpiper. We appear to be undecided as to wether or not we are, in fact, going to thread.

I await further instruction.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 01 May 03 - 06:01 AM

I can tell you, however, that my session at the Sun Inn, Beverley, will be taking place from 2pm till 6pm this coming Sunday, 4th May.

Although numbers may be slightly down due to some people being in Whitby, that means the rest of us get a better go!! It does seem that quite a few of my regulars will still be in attendance, and a jolly afternoon is likely to be the order of the day. Even if the dastardly idea of sitting in a pub all afternoon does mean that I won't be able to go out on my shiny new Triumph motorcycle!

Pah!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 01 May 03 - 07:19 AM

May the forth be with you

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 02 May 03 - 04:42 AM

One will be celebrating one's birthday this evening in Butlers Beer Boutique (amongst other salubrious establishments) Please consider oneself invited for cocktails

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 05 May 03 - 04:42 AM

Thanks for the invite Raggy. Have just got back from the ow'ld sod.Not to late however for Oakleys/Deanys session at the sun in the bev bev.

Smallpliers, we are strutting our collective stuff at the " Durty Nellies" in Hull, Fridasy night,featuring the dashing Oaktree.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 05 May 03 - 07:24 AM

Not Fridasy night 'Oss, it is Saturdasy night. Get a grip of yourself, man.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 05 May 03 - 08:02 AM

hEloo, bank holiday me arse! its a big rip off! i just beeen to the the sandwidge ship on chants ave and it was shut, so i came home and eat beens on toste, and if any show off cleber basturd likes to complane about my spellin, then just rember that this is music site, not spelling site, and im in a bad mood anyway , because i was lucking forwards to buying a sandwidge, so just get lost.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 05 May 03 - 04:07 PM

thankyou John -so how is your PMT?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 06 May 03 - 02:35 AM

Hellooooooooooooooooooo !! John.
I have told you a million times, get of that fence and say what you mean.Oh,and it is worth mentioning that Jacksons could have accomadated your hunger pangs,they seem to be open most of the time.Failing that you could have come to my hase and we could have amused ourselves for an hour or two with several bottles of rum - only I wasnt there.

Thanks for that Oakiepoos,of course you are right,again. Will you be there on Saturday?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 May 03 - 03:45 AM

John9, please post no further on other PTH threads. Am trying to keep it down to a single thread per month. And this is it!

Thanks to all attendees of the Sun Session on Sunday. It was a fairly quiet one due to several regular singists being away in Whitby (and the USA) but we had a luverly time nonetheless. I got quite tiddly, went home and promptly fell asleep, so I think it was a success!

Saturday 10th May, just to clear things up, PTH will be gracing the hallowed turf at Durty Nellies, with Brother Oakley in the driving seat. Hope to see the usual rabble there.

Cheers, Pete.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 03 - 07:23 PM

Sounds bloody marvelous to me. Pity that Hull is across the Atlantic Ocean or I'd be sure to be there with bells on.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 07 May 03 - 02:16 AM

George, sorry for being a pedant but Hull is not across the Atlantic - it is across the Humber.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 07 May 03 - 04:39 AM

Just a little tiddly? I don't think that is quite the truth peter. You was pissed, admitt it!!!

sf x

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:23 AM

THIS INVOLVES ACTUALLY PUNCHING A HORSE.
For all you Britts who love animals (all Britts BE ADVISWED that the horse got the better end of this confrontation.

When I was 16 years old (1945), stood 5' 3" tall and weighed 106 lb (7 stone 7) I sometimes taught little rich kids to post to the trot at a stable run by a guy named Kennedy. I don't know his first name, except, "Mr."
He had a strikingly handsome Irish thorobred named, "Sligo". Sligo was a whole horse, (as opposed to a gelding) about 4 years old, and my choice of mount. I struck up, so I thought, a friendship involving mutual respect, and a lot of apples.
Sligo would whinny when I came into the barn, because he knew I had a couple of apples for him.
Kennedy had advised me, when I first began riding Sligo, to use a check rein as Sligo was very high spirited and somewhat rambunctious.
This was fine for about six months, until one day, (yes here it comes)I was sure that Sligo was my buddy and would not betray my confidence in his friendship. (Yup, slight mistake) So, I decided to take him out with a single straight bit.
This was, by the way, in Brooklyn New York, and the "taking out" involved a nice ride around the Prospect Park bridle path, including the half mile straightaway with a dead end known as the "Flatbush Avenue Extension" One usually let the horses go ful;l out along this straightaway, pulling the horse to a stop before one reached the iron picket fence, five and one half feet high, on the other side of which was the intersection of Flatush Avenue and Empire Boulevard.
I suppose that most of you who are familiar ewith thorobred horses and their reputation for "being trustworthy" are anticipating what transpired as I left the main bridal path, tickling Sligo's sides with my cavalry spurs to urge him into a full gallop. This part proceeded perfectly according to my plans. However, when we reached the point at which we started to slow our mounts into a canter and then stop., Sligo ignored my efforts, which became more and more frantic as we approached the end of the extension, with the bit firmly in his teeth, and hit the fence at a full gallop, thereby tumbling slightly up the hill ar one side and throwing me bodily out into the intersection of Flatbush avenue and Empire Boulevard, whilst at the samee time knocking himself silly when his head hit the fence or a tree or something. I'm not quite sure, nor does it matter.
Luckily for me, there was no traffic in the intersection at the time. Gasoline (petrol) was still rationed and there was seldom any motor traffic at all. This does not happen any more. I climbed back over the fence, and soothed poor Sligo's trembling. I got back on, and we walked and trotted back down the extension. At the point where the main bridle path and the extension intersect, there is a footpath which arches over the bridle path, made of brick and concrete. Wherepon, my trusty steed slammed his flank against one wall of the underpass,. cracking my ankle nd knocking my foot out of the right stirrup.
He then decided to chew on his bit some more, and once again took off at a dead gallup.
I hung on to the pommel of which there is very little on the Maclelland saddle (cavalry) with only one foot in a stirrup. he charged out and around the bridle path wuith people scattering before us as I screamed out a warning. then he left the bridle path and proceeded down Ocean Parkway which has a pilon type traffic light in the middle of each intersection along the way. My trusty pal slalomed down Ocean parkway, working himself into a lovely foamy lather. Around one on the right, and the next on the left, et. etc. etc. With me hanging on for dear life.   About three blcocks from the stable, he slowed to a walk and calmly walked past Mr. Kennedy, and into the barn.
"Did you take him into the lake, Joseph"? Inquired Kennedy.

No says I, he did everything else, but.

"Well said Kenned, you'd better walk him to cool him off before you put him away" Kennedy's remarks were in a fine "County Cork" accent, sort of like Barry Fitzgerals withou the smirk.

Now I must tell you that I was wearing a pair of cavalry boots that I had purchased with a month's pay, for the first time. I had the reins over my shoulder as I limped along with my cracked ankle. As I turned, for the last time, Sligo the treacherous bastard that he was, stepped on my foot, neatly slicing the toe of one boot, clean down to the sole, and missing my big toe by a scant millimeter.

AT THIS POINT i YANKED SLIGO'S HEAD DOWN TO MY LEVERL HAULED OFF AND PUNCHED HIM IN THE NOSE AS HARD AS i COULD. HE SAT DOWN AND Kennedy fired me.

I MUCH PREFER MULES TO HORSES (except for pure bred Arabians, which are trustworthy)


wherepon, my trusty steed

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 08 May 03 - 04:53 AM

Well. What can one say to that????

And Sweetfire, if you think I was drunk on Sunday, pray you never see me after Whisky. I lose the ability to string a sentence together. Johnny boy will testify to that, I have no doubt.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 08 May 03 - 06:37 AM

The man speaks the truth!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 03 - 08:15 AM

Cranky - this is why I feel justified in being the only girl in the school (and incidentaly, the only one whose background actually involved working horses) who hated the nasty things. I've never liked horses - I've met several thousand and only one of them I ever liked. He was a bloody big Shire called Prince who at one point was the biggest horse in the county and he lived at the bottom of my road. He was a working turned show horse, and no-one except his owner rode him.

How anything stuffed with hay can be so uncomfortable I shall never know.

LTS

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:01 AM

arabs.....trustworthy.....you obviously don't know my horse. who is an unpredictable bitch and hates juat about everyone! (except me of course)

i will take your word for it pete

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:21 AM

i love her

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:44 AM

Ah, Sweetfire, old boy,(or girl, whatever the case may be) Pure bred Arabian horses form a solid bond with one or two people. They will actually fight for their "frined" and if the rider falls off, unlike every other breed, they will stand there and wait for the fallen rider to get back on.

You said, "unpredictable bitch and hates just about everyone(except me, of course)

Well, pal, the "except me" is what I'm talking about. And, they have to be 100% pure bred Arabs. O.K.?


I still, on occasion, ride horses,but, I don't completely trust them.

By the way, Mules are trustworthy and a hell of a lot more intelligent and resourceful than horses. They don't lie3. If they like you, they'll let you know right away and you can depend on their trustworthiness. If they don't like you, they will likewise let you know right aweay and then , forget about riding it.
Mules will not work to exhaustion, as horses will. When they get tired, no power on earth can get them to work any more until they are rested. A horse will work itself to death.

Contrary to the way stagecoaches are portrayed in the movies, they always used mules,
The type mule you get depends entirely on the breed of the mare that mothered it. A mule from a thorobred mare will perform like a thorobred, except, of course, for their truswtworthiness and superior intelligence.

SToo bad that they are true, sterile hybrids

Jody Gibson, (like a mule) cranky but trustworthy

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:02 AM

Ride bloody on!!!!!!! this thread is putting years on me.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:10 AM

tell me about it! Prefer the iron steed, myself!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:23 AM

Sod bloody Horses, lets have some of the usual nonsense about drinking and music, sorry Crazy Yankee but to coin an American phrase
BUTT OUT BUDDY

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:28 AM

You leave him alone, Raggytash you varmint. I really enjoyed it. This is a natural place for Cranky Yankee and he should be encouraged. So there9.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:37 AM

Heloo mick, jacksons are a big rip of and there sandwidges are crap, at the sandwidge ship near the bike ship, you can get stake sandwidges 9really nice!).john
ps i got some out of date walnut cakes from the little TEscos on Wiberlly road, they was only 10p each, i got 5, 3 of them went bad, so i was going to throw them at the birds, but i decide agains it, this is why=I did that before, i gave them some bread, and they shit allover my car, i was going to make a sign =PLEESE DO NOT SHIT ON MY CAR! , but i cant find my marker pen, so i just put the mouldy cakes in the bin., you can get some good barhains from that little tescos, i got some pure orange jooce as well for 10p.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:00 PM

John it's no good putting a sign on your car, the birds can't read Ull spelling!

LTS

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:34 PM

Sorry, Raggy, but I gots ta tell my mule story.

My friend Phil had several horses and one mule. The mule kept getting out of the fenced field, but none of the horses ever did. So, Phil got some taller fence posts and put another strand of barbed wire around the field. The mule still got out. So, Phil put a strand of electric fence wire around the field. The mule still got out. Finally, Phil gaught the mule in the act. The mule was getting down on all fours and crawling under the fence. A horse would never be smart enough to crawl under a fence unless someone taught him how to do it. A strand of barbed wire placed about six inches from the ground solved the problem.

Now, carry on with the usual Hullstuff.

Bruce

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:44 PM

Crazy Yankee, after reading John from Hull's contribution come back all is forgiven !!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 08 May 03 - 07:33 PM

C'mon Oakleaf you can top our American cousins tell 'em how you used to ride Friesians on Reads Island

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 08 May 03 - 08:22 PM

I think I should inform all of you that your presence is sorely missed on a thread which you would no doubt enjoy immensely: "The Mother of all BS Threads"

John from Hull would love it. So would ossonflags, the Deanmeister and Raggytash, I'm sure. I think Oakley could spare some time for it too...and his presence would give it some much-needed elan and style.

Don't let the Americans have it all to themselves, chaps! Log on and show them just how silly we British can be when we put our minds to it!

* PR

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 09 May 03 - 08:41 AM

actually my mare managed to get under an electric fence. the grass wasn't greener on the other side she just prefered to be with the geldings aka the big boys

yes CY i am a girl
no my horse is only part bred arab, the rest welsh

p.s sorry to everyone who is not horsey....i'll stop now

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:20 AM

Nothing against horsiness,............ tight jodpurs, contoured pink jacket, well turned fellocks on a filly, tightly gripping her riding crop ................

Gad ......... better go for a shower!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:47 AM

pink contoured jacket????
never worn one of those before!!!
and yes i think you better had!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 May 03 - 11:52 AM

Hello Ms Penelope Rutledge.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 May 03 - 07:53 AM

Tonight's fiddle noises at Durty Nelly's will be brought to you by Nik Nak, as me chalfonts are waxing and I need access to the hydraulic pillow and medicated wipes. Have a good 'un people, and don't let Ossonflags sing too much.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 10 May 03 - 01:48 PM

any body got a dictionary.....?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 May 03 - 07:28 PM

heLoo, i hust neen to seee them, it was really nice,nowe i am drinking sume vbottle of rum, so if any body livkes to moaninfg about my spelliing, then thet y can just get lost and kiss my fat arse.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 11 May 03 - 12:29 AM

Hello, Oakley! I trust you are enjoying the fine Spring weather as much as we are here in Twillingsgate? Various gossipping tongues have been trying to embarrass me (and you) lately by spreading fanciful stories, but I pay them little mind. Regardless of that, I hope to make another trip to Hull shortly and hear you play the fiddle again...always a real delight!

Winston has joined a shooting club and is attempting to pass himself off as a ruthless and dangerous man, making idle remarks about "potting wogs" and so on. He really is a dreadful braggart, but I've seen worse. It's a flaw among the overly rich and idle, I'm afraid.

The pervert "poet", Malcolm Buggeroll, still has half the women in this town swooning over his dreadful doggerel. I could fix his wicket permanently by letting slip certain revelations, but I'd rather let the cad hang himself on his own rope, as I expect he will shortly. His audacity knows no bounds. I believe he would make advances to a Barbary Ape if he could find one around here.

This town has its share of odd characters, I can tell you. But that's England, isn't it? We value our eccentricities here.

* Penelope

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Tweed
Date: 11 May 03 - 12:50 AM

Khnandoo! Still parading around az the fictitshus Mz.Penelope Rutledge are you? HAW! You fool nobobby wif that ridicuolus wig and bonnet.
Yerz,
Tweed

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 11 May 03 - 01:33 AM

Tweed, you are obviously drunk. My advice is, sleep it off, and then turn over a new leaf and consider the merits of abstinence.

* PR

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 11 May 03 - 07:07 AM

Methinks Tweed has turned over an "Oakleaf"

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 11 May 03 - 03:06 PM

I have nearly finished my sculpture of Ms Penelope Rutledge in my pig sty, a bit like the blind bird on Lionel Richie's Hello video but with the sexes reversed and without the blindness. And in a pig sty. The face is more beautiful than can be imagined, with a faint hint of a moustache.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Tweed
Date: 11 May 03 - 10:13 PM

I yam certain thet it wil be farely evervesent thet she habz a rather prodijus Adam's Apple az well, Oakerz.

The shameless harpy kin be found hovering over that cow pie ob BS khnown az the Mother of All BS Threads and should be collected posthayste before the armadilloes are unleashed on her angular ass!! I will soon be taking delibery obv several cubic yards ob the armored liddle lepers and will nod be held defensible for thar actions.

I will leeve now before the clonepeeple find me here and send this thread into the snakepit below whar it belongs. I congratulate you all in beeng able to deseive them and remain in the wolrd obv sunlight and open air for az long az you habve Mum's the word, so Happy Mother's Day to all you English Mums and the Scotlandish and Irish, Welsh and Yorkish ones oslo.

Yerz,
Tweed

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 May 03 - 04:44 AM

I see the drivel fest has recommenced in ernest! Saturday was fun, in case anyone's interested.