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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 01 Feb 17 - 08:17 AM
Amos 31 Jan 17 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 17 - 09:43 PM
keberoxu 31 Jan 17 - 02:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 17 - 09:02 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 17 - 08:19 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 17 - 08:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 17 - 07:03 PM
keberoxu 30 Jan 17 - 06:41 PM
Amos 30 Jan 17 - 05:56 PM
gnu 30 Jan 17 - 01:13 PM
gnu 30 Jan 17 - 12:46 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 17 - 11:42 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 17 - 10:15 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 17 - 07:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Jan 17 - 10:38 PM
gnu 29 Jan 17 - 09:53 PM
Amos 29 Jan 17 - 05:42 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 17 - 05:31 PM
gnu 29 Jan 17 - 03:35 PM
Amos 29 Jan 17 - 09:45 AM
gnu 28 Jan 17 - 04:01 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 17 - 03:56 PM
gnu 28 Jan 17 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 17 - 03:05 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 17 - 10:02 PM
gnu 27 Jan 17 - 01:10 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 17 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 17 - 08:43 PM
gnu 26 Jan 17 - 05:34 PM
Amos 26 Jan 17 - 04:56 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 17 - 01:57 PM
keberoxu 26 Jan 17 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 17 - 10:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 17 - 09:56 PM
Amos 25 Jan 17 - 08:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 17 - 01:03 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 17 - 09:14 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 17 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 17 - 09:21 PM
gnu 24 Jan 17 - 08:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 17 - 05:32 PM
Acme 24 Jan 17 - 04:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 17 - 04:00 PM
Acme 24 Jan 17 - 11:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 17 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 17 - 09:19 AM
gnu 24 Jan 17 - 07:15 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Jan 17 - 11:15 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 17 - 09:49 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 17 - 08:17 AM

There's a simple way to deal with the placement of gee-gaws and such. If the item doesn't immediately speak to you when you unpack it, it's yard art. Hang it from a tree. Treat it as one component in a much larger sculptural statement. Like my step-son's neighbor's house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 10:19 PM

What I love about Rapparee is his ineluctable vocabulary. It's a flood of precision associations which cannot be balked or thwarted by such flimsy efforts as reason or relevance; it floods on like the mighty Eno in the rainy season and knows no let or hindrance. That's true Library Power, the result of years of a strict diet on nothing but fricaseed thesaurus and slow-turned etymologies.

In other news, our simple small-town lives are forming up nicely. Tucker is meeting musicians, I am playing in bars for the sheer adulation of it, and we have our computers up and running. Our phones work, our furniture is in place and there are only a handful left of the dreaded cartones Bekinses around to threaten us with random content revelations and the roar of chaotic small-object relocation. We persevere and we conquer.

Just ahead the unfathomable mysteries of gew-gaws, picture hanging and the Mystery of fFurbelow placement and bauble deployment.. We are blessed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 09:43 PM

I also left out ague, West Nile virus, dengue fever, shigellosis, tularemia, rabies, hepatitis, cholera, tuberculosis, botulism, whooping cough, tetanus, norovirus, typhoid, streptococcus, influenza, and post-diarrheal hemolytic uremic syndrome, all of which and more can be or have been found there. It's a positive bubbling stew of dangerous animals and deadly disease!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 02:49 PM

Ahh, the plague-carrying rodents.
Land of the flea, and the home of the plague.
You left out the deer mice and the hantavirus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 17 - 09:02 AM

There probably are chupacabras in North Carolina. Naturalists are pretty much in agreement that most chupacabra sightings are nothing but coyotes which have been rendered hairless by Sarcoptic mange. Since there are coyotes in North Carolina, it follows that there must be chupacabras.

I have seen such a thing crossing the road right here in Floribama, only I didn't call it a chupacabra. I called it a "What in the hell is that?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 08:19 PM

And the sidewinders. And the chupacabras. And the javelinas. And the chuckwallas. And the scorpions. And the tarantulas. And the plague-carrying rodents.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 08:08 PM

I had dibs and it worked!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 07:03 PM

North Carolina is also a lot like New Mexico, only without the heat, and with a lot more rain, and more trees, and fewer cacti, and it's mostly green, not brown. Other than those inconsequential differences, they're pretty much identical. Except for the Gila Monsters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 06:41 PM

I just read a novel by Sharyn McCrumb, set in the Carolinas; one character is a newcomer, previously in New England, who says that to her, North Carolina is like Vermont without the Vermont winters. It kind of gave me pause. But then North Carolina has winter as well. It's just not a Vermont winter. I dunno.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 05:56 PM

WHy not just put it all out in the back yard, Gnuzer? It'll stay fruzz 'til May!

God the details in getting a house from barebones to normal operation are uncountable! But sooner or later we will finish this all and get into the groove. When this point has been reached--pictures hung and gewgaws placed aesthetically and all the operational parts in known places and carpets down and wires connected--we shall have a fine home and throw a great house-warming party to which you are invited. Or will be, when we know when it is to be. Should be either this Spring or next, depending on myriad variables.

Forge on!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 01:13 PM

Yesterday, I had a shower, did a wash, and, while at the wash, I flicked open my upright freezer... it WASN'T freezing. Nay! It was thawing! On the top shelf, I figured the steak was okay to go in the fridge freezer as it was only half thawed but I had to cook the chops. The chicken and turkey broth and such were toast but still cold so I left them where they were, and I moved the rest to the next shelf down. I was distraught. At an early hour of today, I wakened and could not go oggies again as the thought of losing the contents of the freezer kept me wide awake. As the hour of appliance store(s) opening approached, I decided to take one last look so I would be armed with the info needed to make a quick decision. As I approached the freezer, I heard a sound so joyous, I began to tremble in nervous anticipation. I opened the freezer and read the thermo meter I had placed in the freezer last night. -21C!!!!!!!!!!!! The broth containers were frozen solid! All was and is safe for now.

I went to three appliance stores and priced freezers. I shall, at sundown, 17:21h to be more precise, transfer the freezer contents to coolers in the garage, defrost the freezer, and power it. Should it be functioning well when I arise on the morrow, I shall indeed be a happy camper.

From "The Great Ice Storm of '17", CW Gary J. Owens, Bullshit Press, all rights reserved.

On a sad note, them there poor buggers up north (30,000) are still in a hard way. Two dead from CO poisoning and others treated for same. 200 troops on the way to clean up trees and get people to safety and provide field ambulance services and such.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 12:46 PM

We ordered tripe and lard by the yard... I would suggest that the best version is on the album Hearty and Hellish by Clancy's & Makem... There was Johnny McEldoo and McGee and me
And a couple of two or three went on the spree one day
We had a bob or two, which we knew how to blew
And the beer and whiskey flew and we all felt gay
We visited McCann's, Maclaman's, Humpty Dan's
We then went into Swan's, our stomachs for to pack
We ordered out a feed, which indeed, we did need
And we finished it with speed, but we still felt slack

Johnny McEldoo turned red white and blue
As a plate of irish stew he soon put out of sight
He shouted out "Encore!" with a roar for some more
That he'd never felt before such a keen appetite
We ordered eggs and ham, bread and jam, what a cram
But him, we couldn't ram, though we tried our level best
For everthing we brought, cold or hot, mattered not
It went down him like a shot but he still stood the test

He swallowed tripe and lard by the yard, we got scared
We thought it would go hard when the waiter brought the bill
Told him to give o'er, but he swore he could lower
Twice as much again and more before he had his fill
He nearly supped a trough full of broth. Says McGrath,
"He'll devour the tablecloth if you don't hold him in"
When the waiter brought the charge, McEldoo felt so large
He began to scout and barge and his blood went on fire

He began to curse and swear, tear his hair in despair
And to finish the affair, called the shop man a liar
The shop man, he threw out and no doubt, he did clout
McEldoo he kicked about like an old football
Tattered all his clothes, broke his nose, I suppose
He would have killed him with a few blows in no time at all
McEldoo began to howl and to growl, by my soul
Threw an empty bowl at the shop keeper's head
Struck poor Mickey Flynn, peeled the skin from his chin
An a ruction did begin and we all fought and bled
Peelers did arrive, man alive, four or five
At us they made a drive for us all to march away
We paid for all the meat that we ate, stood a trait
And went home to ruminate on the spree that day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 11:42 AM

I prefer deep fat fried lard sticks! Breaded and fried, yummy! And caramelized tripe au chocolat flambe is to die for!

These, of course, a regional recipes. You can't get them in Seattle or NYC or LA or Chicago or Meddybemps. Sometimes they are available in Sickkpoo, Paul, and Beer Bottle Crossing, Idaho. They are a standard part to the menu at the Idaho Legion Hovel and at the Restaurant In The Gas Station here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 10:15 AM

Still to the tune of "Baby Face"...

Tripe and Lard (NSFW Version)

♫♫♫♫♫♫

Tripe and lard
I want to smear myself with tripe and lard
To think about it makes my nipples hard
Tripe and lard
I'm gonna to rub my nub
While lying in a great big tub
Of tripe and lard
It's better than a goat, a sheep, or Saint Bernard
You should get yourself some
And rub it on your bum
Then you will love some tripe and lard

♫♫♫♫♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 07:36 AM

To the tune of "Baby Face"

♫♫♫♫♫♫

Tripe and lard
Oh how I wish I had some tripe and lard
To get along without it is so hard
Tripe and lard
Mix it with stone ground millet
Fry it in a cast iron skillet
Tripe and lard
I'm gonna by a hundred pounds with my charge card
Hog chittlin's will not do
I need some tripe lard stew
Oh I love my tripe and lard

♫♫♫♫♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 10:38 PM

Tripe and lard! That's what I left off my grocery list when I went shopping yesterday! Guess I'll have to make due with chittlin's and fatback until my next trip into town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 09:53 PM

Rap... CFB Gagetown is in NB. One of the largest CFB bases, nay, military bases in the Commonwealth. The mind boggles at the stunnedasmearse politicians who grandstand in the Irving Family Newsletters (they own ALL the daily newspapers in NB save one) and the corporate controlled CBC that announce this tripe and lard. There are thousands of troops just down the road in Gagetown and in other nearby bases. Oh... forget it. I am just an old and cranky man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 05:42 PM

It's chilly here, too--about 40º F. But we had a lovely lunch party with hopmemade latkes in honor of potatoes everywhere.

I am getting downright spoiled!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 05:31 PM

You should have called on the Maine National Guard. The 133rd Engineer Battalion, headquartered in Brunswick and with companies in several other towns, would certainly have responded if asked. Four years from now they might even have gone home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 03:35 PM

I did not weigh myself before the pizza party. I did this AM. Lost 6 pounds but one pond is obviously water weight due to the salty pizza. Eating pizza again today to build up my strength. That's the best excuse I have. Sunny and 3C and I have remedial work to do but my back is SORE so screw that for now. Slept like a baby last night.

150 CAF troops will arrive in NE NB shortly... there are still 40,000 customers without power. Why the hell they were not on the ground by Friday, at the latest, is beyond me. Fucking incompetence of our provincial government boggles the mind. Jesus H. Christ! Our military and our emergency response teams responded to Katrina faster than this and New Orleans is a wee tad further away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 09:45 AM

I love your promise, Rapp. Let us grow corrupt together. :D

Gnu, for cry-i, get a back up genny

Spent a fun evening at a neighbor's celebrating Chinese New Year with two veteran Time-Life photography experts and other world-traveled souls who had somehow floated down to Hillsborough. This is a surprising town, riich in insight and full of interesting souls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 17 - 04:01 PM

Didja ever get so full you couldn't swallow? Ahhhhhhh..... I'm sleepy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 17 - 03:56 PM

Which is why we still have a landline. Power fails, phone still works. The power line and phone line are buried, but squirrels can fry a transformer at a substation (it's happened) or a car or truck take down a pole, or, well, anything. At least I know my power line and phone line can't go down any lower!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 17 - 03:24 PM

Latest word was tomorrow between 10 and 11PM. I started hauling can goods to the basement and finished the last load, knowing all would be safe from freezing. I sat in my office for a well deserved smoke and a beer and... yup, my office lights came on. NB Power left an hour ago. I gave the boys a BIG thumbs-up and they gave it back.

Now they can join their buddies in NE NB. The poor buggers up there will be weeks getting power back on. I saw a video yesterday taken in Lamèque by a guy driving the main road... pole after pole after pole smashed and downed. The whole road, for miles and miles and it's all over NE NB. NB Power has to, essentially, "reinstall" the works... drill new holes for poles and all. Crews from NS, PQ, and ME are on the ground too.

It was eventful. Learned a few things, like, having home phone with a cable company means you can lose your land line when the power goes out and also your cell phone. That distressed Mum a great deal. Anyway, it was fun. The generator deal at Mum's was a big payoff for a ten year old investment. Greco XXL (32 slice) Grecoworks pizza has been ordered for the celebration. The box takes up every inch of one shelf in my fridge. I should weigh myself BEFORE I get it because I know I dropped some pounds during this fun time. Didn't even eat for the first day and a half... 'cept fer a few ales. We men types throw food to the wind when there is "work" to be done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 17 - 03:05 PM

I have led a good life, full of peace and quiet,
I shall have an old age, full of rum and riot.
I have been a good boy wedded to peace and study.
I shall have an old age ribald, course and bloody,
I have never cut throats even when I yearned to,
Never sang a dirty song that my fancy turned to.
I have been a good boy and done what was expected.
I shall be an old'bum, loved but unrespected,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 17 - 10:02 PM

I've been in that situation, gnu. It ain't pretty...or warm. You have electric heat, I take it, and nothing else. After my experiences in Ohio when the power pooped out we've always had a place with some sort of woodburner. Here I have two of them.

I'd say "Stay cool!" but I won't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 17 - 01:10 PM

I turned the water off and drained the lines. Never had a cold ass and warm beer before but I set the beer on the kitchen cupboard so it will chill in no time. I expect power by tomorrow morning... hopefully. The generator at Mum's is great. Got 14 hours out of 7/8 of a tank. Of course, with the temperature only down to -2C and moderate wind until the wee hours, it's about "right". Only thing of bother is sleeping in a house that's too warm but it beats the alternative. COME ON LOOTO 6/49!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 17 - 09:30 AM

Good morning, everyone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 08:43 PM

Mr. Amos Jessup


Welcomes


ALL Moabites and Children of MOM


Past, Present, and Future


to his new home


in Hillsborough, North Carolina, United States


For a Grand Housewarming and Whatever You Wish


Come whenever you wish, stay as long and you want




No RSVP needed --


Surprise him with your presence





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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 05:34 PM

It's toasty typing. I moved the laptop to Mum's where I got an emergency panel put in with a connection to a generator some years ago and got an internet connection put in last winter. My ouse is hovering at (yes, "ouse" because I can't find the insert key that I obviously hit by mistake) 3C and will only get colder as the temperature drops in the great outdoors. My backdoor neighbours and across the street neighbours and two houses north neighbours have power. We six on this dead end street have none since last evening. Nice to get back online and visit all mom's chilluns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 04:56 PM

I haven't forgotten what you did to my last house, Rapparee, when you thought I was away. I'm watching you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 01:57 PM

BIG INVITE TO AMOS' NEW PLACE COMING SOON FOR ALL MOABITES!!!


I really must remember to tell him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 01:05 PM

It is reassuring, Amos, to hear that you have prevailed against the frabjous and the frumptious. Thanks for letting us know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 10:29 PM

Gracious! Amos is in new haven! Try to stay out of yale, ja?

Have you found the Lost Treasure of the North Carolina Piedmont yet? It's supposed to be buried somewhere around Hillsborough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 09:56 PM

Hooray for Amos's new old house!
Hooray for Maggie Dog having a place to cavort!
Hooray for Amos for not keeling over dead while unpacking!
Hooray for Hillsborough, NC for not having any Trumps living there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 08:46 PM

Hello, Mom, and hello sibs all! Forgive me; I have been carving my way back to cyber space through a dense forest of man-eating Bekins Boxes (boxius Bekinses) who will grab a man by the wrist and snap his spine with one twist of gravity, drain the life blood from his like a child-bearing copperhead, and leave him him limp and wasted fearing to move until dawn. M y steadfast Leatherman at hand, I carved and tore at the frabjous foe. Box after box, after box. And still they came.

And as if that weren't enough I was beset bya plague of Internet Connectivity Wobblies whose fearsome screams can strike terror into the stoutest heart. They, too, I conquered, thanks to my trusty iPhone and my deadly tongue and keen wit.

The Frumptious Buyer beleaguered me, and the Gross american Lender nearly undid me (usuruous Americanus) with his time-stealing breath.

Now, we have every box unboxed and most furniture has found a place for now, and after carving open sixty-two cases of books, I have managed to connect my beloved puter to the new Internet of the South (Timus Warnerus Southronitus) and make my way, scarred, aching, exhausted, bruised, battered, bloodied and limping but unbowed, mind you, back to Mom's welcoming bosom.

The house is everything we hoped--the ancient (1859) stairs creak with the ghostly memories of antebellum merchants and fiery rebellious youths and their beloveds from long ago, now returned to dust in form, but still alive in the eaves of spirit. It is large and comfortable, with a wholly redone infrastructure from foundation up, modern appliances, tastefully integrated into the original aura of the old place so that the ancient and the brand-new combine in harmonious decorum.

Wife, son and myself are very happy with the town, the neighbors, the street, the house, and the dog is delighted with her expansive domain, a large fenced-in back yard where she can cavort. I played a set at the nearby Nash Strreet tavern last night, where Mayor Tom is a regular, and he 'llowed as it was pretyy darn good and I should consider myself a local now.

Thanks a million to Stilly for her kind hospitality, from which we slipped away all too soon. It was one helluva Nodyssey, let me tell ya, but we have landed safe and found our haven port at last. I sahll never move house again, even if the Trumps move to Hillsborough,.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 01:03 PM

I must admit to mixed feelings about no longer playing in a Celtic band. I miss playing for audiences. I miss the musical proficiency that comes with regular band practice. I don't miss playing at Burns Night dinners and having to pretend to to enjoy bagpipes, haggis, and some damned fool reciting "Tae a Moose, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 09:14 AM

We're record-setting folks here! Broke the records for rain and snow on the same day!!!! And today is Bobby Burns Birthday, so the festivities up at the Legion Hovel will be doubly stupendous.

YES!! The annual Bobby Burns Birthday Booze Bonanza Bash is tonight! There will be the usual Bobby Burn Birthday Booze Bonanza Bash Banquet with the traditional Creamed Haggis on Toast, Steerie-Cauld, Cullen Skink, Bashed Neeps, Champit Tatties, and of course barrels and barrels of the finest Scotch Whiskey. A wild time will be had by all, and the hangovers tomorrow will be phenomenal (photo from last year's Bobby Burns Birthday Booze Bonanza Bash).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 09:32 PM

Record Report


428
SXUS75 KPIH 240743
RERPIH

RECORD EVENT REPORT
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE POCATELLO ID
1235 AM MST TUE JAN 24 2017

...RECORD DAILY MAXIMUM RAINFALL AND SNOWFALL SET AT POCATELLO ID...

A RECORD RAINFALL OF 0.52 INCH(ES) WAS SET AT POCATELLO ID YESTERDAY. THIS BREAKS THE OLD RECORD OF 0.33 SET IN 1950.

A RECORD SNOWFALL OF 8.6 INCH(ES) WAS SET AT POCATELLO ID YESTERDAY. THIS BREAKS THE OLD RECORD OF 2.8 INCH(ES) FOR THE DAY WHICH WAS SET IN 1993 AND ALSO THE GREATEST 24-HOUR RECORD FOR THE MONTH OF 8.3 INCH(ES) WHICH WAS SET ON JAN 8, 2005.

--------------------


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 09:21 PM

FIVE FOOT DRIFTS!!!!! Buildings collapsing!!! Snow plows rolling over!!!! Schools, businesses, public buildings, universities -- closed!!! Food running short!!! Medical aid not available!!! Continuous shelling!!!! Snowsnowsnowsnow!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 08:31 PM

Ahhhh, sweet Lysdexia. I yptoed her yell in the sweat moments of extasie. Ahhh, where has my yout goneÉ I shall never be the Sammy.

You ever hear that joke about Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean Martin? It's hilarious but it involves banging a dick on a bed post so that's two risky for pubic forum, eh?

Nasty freezing rain here. If I should happen to lose my internUt connection, remember that


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 05:32 PM

That's not what I get for Dyslexia. I get her a box of chocolates and a dozen roses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 04:10 PM

That's what I get for dyslexia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 04:00 PM

And precisely what is meant by "bare and whore? [wince]"? Is it meant to imply that I attempted to rhyme those two words? If so, please reread the poem, paying close attention to the rhyme scheme. "Whore" rhymes with "more" and "bare" rhymes with "there".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 11:27 AM

bare and whore? [wince]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 10:33 AM

Bravo, kind Rap! There's truth in your poesy, though English majors also make decent librarians and managers of bookstores*.

* My seldom-mentioned "career" before hearing the call of the potter's wheel and poverty starvation self-employment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 09:19 AM

I have a little bachelor's
That keeps me unemployed,
But I know Dunne from Milton
A source of joy and pride!

I can tell iamb from anapest
And a sonnet from an ode,
An epic from a tragedy --
I quote Shakespeare by the load.

Yes, Greek tragedy can make me smile,
And Pope and Chaucer too,
But the "wherewithal" to pay for that --
Well, I use a public loo.

But I recognize great literature
Like Bill Reilly and Glenn Beck!
But still I ask, "Do you want fries?"
For a marketable skill I lack.

There are jobs, even jobs for me,
Well paying jobs, I'm sure,
But somehow I doubt I'll reach them
With a GPA of 1.4.

            --Maximilian Xerxes Lossole, upublished, 2031.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 07:15 AM

Nicely done, BWL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 11:15 PM

As great? Merely as great? Look, I don't go around emancipating slaves on account of Abe does it much better than me. But Abe needs to stick to his President gig and leave the poetry stuff to us English majors with ironic senses of humor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 09:49 PM

That's as great as the one I quoted by Abraham Lincoln.


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