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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 23 Oct 17 - 10:37 PM
keberoxu 23 Oct 17 - 09:56 PM
Acme 22 Oct 17 - 12:49 PM
Donuel 22 Oct 17 - 12:47 PM
Donuel 22 Oct 17 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 22 Oct 17 - 09:37 AM
Donuel 22 Oct 17 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 21 Oct 17 - 07:45 PM
Amos 21 Oct 17 - 06:26 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 17 - 08:27 PM
keberoxu 20 Oct 17 - 05:50 PM
Donuel 19 Oct 17 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 19 Oct 17 - 08:22 PM
Donuel 19 Oct 17 - 02:55 PM
Vashta Nerada 19 Oct 17 - 02:47 PM
Donuel 19 Oct 17 - 02:40 PM
Acme 18 Oct 17 - 11:24 PM
Donuel 18 Oct 17 - 11:22 PM
gnu 18 Oct 17 - 10:05 PM
Donuel 18 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 18 Oct 17 - 07:59 PM
Rapparee 18 Oct 17 - 07:57 PM
gnu 18 Oct 17 - 07:50 PM
Donuel 17 Oct 17 - 09:41 PM
Acme 17 Oct 17 - 09:21 PM
Acme 17 Oct 17 - 09:21 PM
Acme 17 Oct 17 - 08:17 PM
Donuel 17 Oct 17 - 11:31 AM
gnu 16 Oct 17 - 04:46 PM
Donuel 16 Oct 17 - 04:35 PM
Acme 15 Oct 17 - 08:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Oct 17 - 04:44 PM
Amos 14 Oct 17 - 12:51 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 17 - 11:19 AM
Amos 13 Oct 17 - 09:10 AM
Donuel 13 Oct 17 - 07:33 AM
Donuel 12 Oct 17 - 09:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Oct 17 - 06:44 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 17 - 06:57 PM
gnu 11 Oct 17 - 12:45 PM
gnu 11 Oct 17 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 17 - 10:21 AM
Amos 10 Oct 17 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 17 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 17 - 10:40 PM
Acme 09 Oct 17 - 06:39 PM
Vashta Nerada 09 Oct 17 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 17 - 10:24 AM
Amos 08 Oct 17 - 11:06 PM
Donuel 08 Oct 17 - 07:20 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 17 - 10:37 PM

Yup, sure is.

And I'm home, for about three weeks anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Oct 17 - 09:56 PM

For Amos in North Carolina, as well as everybody here.
Just read an inspirational story in a magazine off the rack,
about a nutrition initiative in Edgecombe County, North Carolina.
If I can make a blicky link out of this page,
then you can read this story online.

for the last twelve years, this Baptist congregation has been growing fruits and vegetables


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 17 - 12:49 PM

MOM, the dogs and I are going for a walk, hoping to pick up pecans knocked out of the tree by last night's wind and rain. I asked the neighbor, he said it's okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Oct 17 - 12:47 PM

Amos bring a shovel.

Key: "As simple as 1,2,3" quote E.T.
When looking west from west of any of the boundary islands
Pick the second highest prominence/area
3 body lengths due N of the most prominent tree
One body length down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Oct 17 - 12:20 PM

Black Beard actually hid booty in holes he dug.
Some of these are still undiscovered.
As he used to say;

Black Holes Matter


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 17 - 09:37 AM

They used to tease him, calling him "Teddie Itch" but for some reason no one has called him that in years. Total silence. It's like they're all dead or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Oct 17 - 09:37 AM

I have lyrics darker than Tom could ever commercialize.

Meanwhile on the bright side from 'fake reality unto death'

The fake is real and real turns fake
In the hate of a mind insane
It's easy for heroic McCain
to expose lies Trump painfully feigns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 17 - 07:45 PM

The North Carolina shore has long been known to be the hangout of the notorious Eddie Teach. Be careful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 17 - 06:26 PM

North Carolina is enjoying the most beautiful extended Indian Summer kind of weather--cool nights, warm days, blue skies and delightfull gatherings every week of one or another sort.

Tomorrow I am off to the seashore. It has been quite a while since loitered on the Atlantic sands. Bound for Emerald Isle on the Atlantic shore. Zippydadoo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 17 - 08:27 PM

Everyone is shown up by Tom Paxton. Don't worry about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 Oct 17 - 05:50 PM

"Mucho mucho sed," not "muy muy sed."

Unless it's "mucha mucha sed."

Too little too late, I know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 10:27 PM

I guess so Vashta, after being shown up by Tom Paxton I will crawl back into the woodwork where I belong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 08:22 PM

Buy a Gun for Your Son
Words and Music by Tom Paxton

Hallelujah, Dads and Mommies,
Cowboys, Rebels, Yanks and Commies
Buy yourselves some real red blooded fun.
If you want to make the grade,
You've got to have a hand grenade,
And a fully automatic G.I. Gun.

    [Cho:]
    Buy a gun for your son right away, Sir
    Shake his hand like a man and let him play, Sir.
    Let his little mind expand, Place a weapon in his hand,
    For the skills he learns today will someday pay, Sir.

Pound that kid into submission
'Till he's mastered Nuclear Fission
Buy him plastic warheads by the score,
Once he's got the taste of blood,
He's gonna sneak up on his buddies
Starting his own thermonuclear war.

[Cho.]

Buy him khakis and fatigues,
And sign him up in little leagues,
Give him calisthenics as a rule.
Once you've banished fear and dread,
Then pat his seven year-old head,
And send him off to military school.

[Cho]

Once he's grown to be a man,
He might get tired of blasting Granny,
Then you'll see a crisis coming on.
Don't get worried, don't get nervous.
Send that kid into the service,
Let him rise into the Pentagon.

[Cho]

At the Pentagon he'll rise.
The President he will advise,
His reputation growing all the while.
With his picture on the wall,
He'll get that long-awaited call,
And press the firing buttons with a smile.

[Cho]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 02:55 PM

title: Random Shooter


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 02:47 PM

Some of these song/poems actually belong in regular threads. We don't want MOAB kicked upstairs because there's too much musical content.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 02:40 PM

No no one can see John Lennon again
he is paying for his gun man
Go ahead and go to the concert
There won't be a shooter alert
Bring a gun be safe from harm
When you own your first fire arm
you'll know how much its fun man



JFKRFKMLK paid for our guns
first graders had nothing to pay
They were shot beyond recognition.
some just pay with losing cognition
or maimed in ways we don't mention
Its mental health not the guns
that kills our daughters and sons



Enthusiasts and victims alike
Who knows when madness will strike
We will all pay forever
for a relative few minutes
of fun with some kick ass guns.
THAT WE BOUGHT WITH FREEDOM !!!!!!!!!!!!!
2nd Amendment Freedom :spoken



Chorus
to tag and splash
bust a cap, plug pop and kill
blast her ass killum fast
until you've had your fill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 11:24 PM

October is more than halfway through and it still mostly feels like summer here. Supposed to be mid-80s tomorrow. Back out on the sleeping porch after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 11:22 PM

the backstory is I was given one compelling line this morning "run out of ocean". By evening I found that it had finished itself with very little conscious intervention. It still needs a little edit but its fun when its easy and grim when its not.

I watched the autumn practice fight of thousands of starlings at sunset today weaving great French curves in the sky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 10:05 PM

Good stuff, Donuel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM

The great golden Trump

I know every ship of state
runs out of real estate.
will sail past shoals most cruel
All ships can run out of fuel
It may even lose motion.
Or run out of ocean
for the great ship of State

In my imagination
A voyage celebration
or a humiliation
is all up to the Captain.
To this skippers great anger
he forgot to weigh anchor

for the great, golden Trump.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 07:59 PM

Been there, gnu. It's wonderful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 07:57 PM

They resolved a cranial thing with C3? Wasn't that a bit drastic?

Right now I'm in Manchester, NH, nursing a cough and/or cold. I shall be home next Tuesday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 07:50 PM

Buddy! What I wouldn't give to be able to sit on that old fallen log on Jimmy's Hook up in Partridge Flats near the beaver pond right now. Cold and still and silent. Nare a strip of wind. I remember sitting there, listening to Mother Earth bump and grind. You could hear and sometimes feels the thumps and bumps from far far away. And, everything would get silent an hour before dark. Deafening silence. So much so that I sometimes gently snapped my fingers near my ears just to check if I could still hear... you know... to break that odd 'noise' that you hear when ALL is silent.

And then, the rustle of leaves. Birds might be walking, scratching, munching poplar leaves, lifting to bud in the trees just before dark... all was right with my world. I was at peace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 09:41 PM

I saw the number coming hundreds ago but it went to a good person.

The half of a conversation is not constructed to make sense although it could be made to cleverly imply the other half of the conversation.
It is actually just a list of nothing but 'excuses'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 09:21 PM

56665. Mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 09:21 PM

Oh, I just noticed a tidy number coming up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 08:17 PM

Nicely done, Donuel.

Getting to be good sleeping weather, finally cool at night. I need another blanket on the bed. Did you know George F. Babbitt used to sleep on a sleeping porch? With several blankets. I'm rereading the book, I'd forgotten that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 11:31 AM

Half of a Conversation


Its the way of the world
Its not my fault
He did it
No time
What?
Bye

Because its none of my business
But I didn't have the money
Then what about the kids
Someone stole what?
I was cheated too
Its way too far
But I can't
Because
Huh?

Jeez
If only
If they only
'cause I don't know
If we all could only
I'm sure I could have
No one gives a damn
They don't care
I don't care
I'm tired
fukit


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Oct 17 - 04:46 PM

A willy wand without drugs sounds wonky to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Oct 17 - 04:35 PM

Acme nuff said However I am picturing Trump undergoing a crainial colostomy. The copius excrement was breath taking.

Once again I dodged another medical bullet. I began seeing double. I thought it was due to watching TV in the mirror.(paralax conditioning) It was not.
It was a tiny infection at the cerrabellum near the brain stem.
It resolved at c3 with a little ampicillin and I feel great.
Along with the infection a tiny spacecraft also emerged but under a microscope the lights were not on and nobody was home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Oct 17 - 08:35 PM

I have a friend who had many of those encounters as well. Turned out he had a fistula. The surgery to repair it included six weeks wearing a temporary colostomy bag. He shared the details (I did ask - it seemed he needed a sympathetic ear). Never ever get one of those if you can avoid it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Oct 17 - 04:44 PM

My best friend has had so many encounters with that little fiber-optic device that he's on a first name basis with it. He calls it the Dicktascope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 17 - 12:51 PM

Thanks, old friend. It involves an optic fiber going the wrong way up a urethra that has until recently been strictly a one-way passage.

The witch doctor believes he has found a small tumor inside the bladder where I store my precious bodily fluids before eliminating them. I am sure he just wants to steal my precious bodily fluids but I have to catch him in the act, see. So I am playing dumb. He'll be so surprised when I spring my little trap. But mum's the word. I know this guy--if he suspects I'm onto him, he'll try to drug me into unconsciousness before invading my secret passages, to prevent me from capturing him in the act. Pretty dastardly, these medical types. But I'm too smart for him, see.

Presumably this will all be resolved by the end of the day (Halloween).

A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 17 - 11:19 AM

May your small surgery turn out minuscule!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 17 - 09:10 AM

I love seeing people write poetry, but sometimes their poetry makes no sense.


It is similar in some respects to the perfervid posts I see sometimes on Facebook, written by someone who feels strongly about some issue but for whom English is a distant second language. It becomes difficult to respond to the thought and the feeling because it is so hard to weed through the awkwardly wielded language.

But carry on, quoth I.

Today I have an exciting pre-op meeting in anticipation of a small surgery on Friday the 13th--my lucky day! May Mom protect me.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Oct 17 - 07:33 AM

If Amos becomes Poet Laureate one day I hope he condemns the Bank of America TV commercial that disparage poets as shiftless, parasitic individuals.

unless its true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Oct 17 - 09:50 AM

Rap your poem explains why you have not responded ever since I rhymed castle with asshole and wisdom with rectum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Oct 17 - 06:44 AM

Should I ever be in a situation where Mom's children feel compelled to offer assistance, please do NOT send cash.

Just send guitars. It will save me from having to make trips to the music store.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 06:57 PM

Here there is more good! I give it in the form of poem.

None should boast about his brains--
Be ever wary with words.
When the wise and quiet comes to the hall
Seldom he shames himself.
A better friend is found nowhere
Than good supply of sense.

The cautious guest come for a meal
Is still, but strains to hear,
Listens with ears, and looks with eyes;
The wise are watchful ever.

Blessed is he who has for himself
Good opinion and praise--
More difficult far to deal with that
Which hides in another's heart.

Blessed is he who has in himself
Others' good will and wisdom.
For ill advice too often comes
Out of another's breast.

No better store one bears on the road
Than supply of good sense--
Like a well-filled purse in a place unknown,
The wealth of those in want.

No better store one bears on the road
Than supply of good sense,
Nor bears a worse walking abroad
Than imbibing too much beer.

Less good it is than good it seems,
Mead, for the sons of men.
The longer one drinks the less he knows
What lies in his own heart.

You may,if you so wish, quote me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 12:45 PM

FB is up again. Good thing I checked. I wanted to delete a post from, and ban a member of, a group before his comments became a content problem with FB. One bad apple can spoil the group. Now, back to membership requests.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 11:54 AM

Facebook is having issues since 11:12 AM EDT. Are you also affected? Leave a message in the comments.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 10:21 AM

Oh, Amos, I wouldst fain to see thee lashed by cash or muddled by mere money! Here, here is some good advice which I give thee for nothing, and stash these few precepts in thy memory!

Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel, but do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, bear't that the opposed may beware of thee. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice; take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment. Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, but not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy; for the apparel oft proclaims the man, and they in France of the best rank and station are of a most select and generous chief in that. Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. This above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 17 - 10:48 PM

AS I endure cruel fortune's lash
My friends around me rally true
And when they ask what they should do
I tell them simply, "Send me cash."

Nor food nor clothing I desire
As fortunes evil voice doth heckle
But I will endure hard Fortune's fire
If all my friends contribute shekels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 17 - 09:17 PM

If all be true that I do think
There are five reasons why we drink:
Good friends, good wine, or being dry
Or lest we should be by-and-by,
Or any other reason why.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 10:40 PM

Send your old food. The stuff that's been in the back of the fridge for months, if not years. If you can tell it, "Go to Amos' house!" and it does, it's probably old enough.

But don't send him cash or any equivalent thereof. He'd only spend it foolishly on things like food, shelter, and clothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 06:39 PM

Booze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 01:25 PM

They say one shouldn't send clothes these days, one should send cash. But if you sent cash, would Amos use it for clothes and shelter, or would he buy another guitar or a kayak for his nearby river?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 10:24 AM

oh my amos' gutters are running with water whatever shall he do i hope he survives this cataclysmic preview of maritme Armageddon oh my i just saw on the news that he could have gotten as much as 0.001 inches of rain i have notified the red cross and fema and the salvation army and all about this disaster all of mom's kids should collect old clothes and old food and stuff and send it all to amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 11:06 PM

It's even raining a little bit up here in North Carolina, but we forge bravely on!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 07:20 PM

Acme you have revealed the exact same problem extraterrestrials have with translating Earth languages. Naval intelligence still has problems letting ET translators know what they have been doing wrong.
The movie Arrival shows the difficulty in translating temporal differences in language. You have shown the difficulty in multilingual translation between two planetary languages. I bet 'they' did better in the days of old Latin. Or did they give us that?


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