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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 21 Aug 15 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 15 - 08:58 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 15 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 15 - 07:55 AM
Acme 20 Aug 15 - 12:43 AM
Amos 19 Aug 15 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 15 - 09:55 PM
Amos 19 Aug 15 - 08:54 PM
gnu 19 Aug 15 - 07:50 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 15 - 06:23 PM
Amos 19 Aug 15 - 12:46 PM
gnu 19 Aug 15 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 19 Aug 15 - 09:55 AM
GUEST, ^*^ 18 Aug 15 - 11:51 PM
GUEST,Mr. R. 18 Aug 15 - 09:48 PM
Amos 18 Aug 15 - 07:28 PM
Ebbie 18 Aug 15 - 03:21 AM
GUEST,Herman Abel, Deutsches Polizei 18 Aug 15 - 03:11 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 17 Aug 15 - 11:16 PM
gnu 17 Aug 15 - 10:48 PM
Amos 17 Aug 15 - 09:45 PM
gnu 17 Aug 15 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 17 Aug 15 - 04:12 PM
Amos 17 Aug 15 - 03:36 PM
gnu 17 Aug 15 - 08:00 AM
Amos 16 Aug 15 - 08:53 PM
gnu 16 Aug 15 - 06:58 PM
gnu 15 Aug 15 - 11:11 PM
GUEST,Mad Konig Rapparee 15 Aug 15 - 01:48 PM
Amos 14 Aug 15 - 09:32 PM
Amos 14 Aug 15 - 10:57 AM
gnu 13 Aug 15 - 05:54 PM
GUEST,Das Guten Rapparee 13 Aug 15 - 01:49 PM
gnu 13 Aug 15 - 01:16 PM
GUEST, ^*^ 13 Aug 15 - 09:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Aug 15 - 09:24 AM
Amos 13 Aug 15 - 01:34 AM
Ebbie 12 Aug 15 - 11:48 PM
Acme 12 Aug 15 - 10:06 PM
Amos 12 Aug 15 - 10:02 PM
gnu 12 Aug 15 - 06:11 AM
Amos 11 Aug 15 - 10:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 15 - 09:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 15 - 11:32 AM
GUEST, ^*^ 11 Aug 15 - 10:48 AM
Amos 11 Aug 15 - 12:07 AM
GUEST, ^*^ 10 Aug 15 - 10:09 PM
GUEST,Le Bon et Grand Rapparee 10 Aug 15 - 05:58 PM
Amos 10 Aug 15 - 11:52 AM
Amos 10 Aug 15 - 12:12 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Aug 15 - 04:00 PM

WTF is the rain? The weather terrorists have been scaring my mother with promises of rain and a risk of thundershowers for four days and we had a spit from the heavens for five minutes about 45 minutes ago? That's it? Jaysus, Mary and Joseph! The grass is crunchy under foot. The woods are tinder dry. The salmon fishing is shut down. WTF is the rain?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 15 - 08:58 AM

Mooooooooooooooooooooooom..................

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom...........

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom...........

Isn't there anyone home? Bee Dub? Stilly? gnu? Acme? ^*^?

Anyone???????????

Okay...I'll be here...matches!!! I found the matches!!! COOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!............

Ouch! Ouchy!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 15 - 10:33 PM

There was Mom, down at the bottom, lying in the gutter, covered with garbage, rolled by some drunk!

Fortunately, I happened by and helped her up. I took her home and gave her cookies and milk and helped her to her wee trundle bed. I was the one, and that's why I am her favorite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 15 - 07:55 AM

Sheesh, there are wifi spots all over Europe and even Ireland. No longer are leprechauns employed as messengers or banshees used to cry out what's going on. You can even have Internet and Web access in your car, BOAT, bus, train, or plane -- or as you walk -- all over there. It's in pubs, restaurants, hotels, B&Bs, where ever there are people.

Amos' protestations are disingenuous in the extreme. He just doesn't want to have Dear Old Mom find out what mischief and worse he's up to!

Hence, I shall set in motion Der Altirischerinvestigatifnetworken and if he can't keep out of trouble we'll at least have some good laughs at his expense. I mean, really! -- asking a cabin attendant if she "if a genuine randy Brandi" after learning her first name and after being slapped down telling her that "she's aged well."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 15 - 12:43 AM

So many travelers moving from WiFi access to WiFi access. And we await their reports of the world they've passed through once they find the cherished hot spot. I hope they take time to look around!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 15 - 10:40 PM

I will then seek, and quest and try
To find that Eirean WiFi
And if I can where'er I sit
I shall unleash my flood of bits
To Mudcat, Facebook and to Mom
That she may know, with great aplomb,
Her reach extends from sun to sun,
ANd reaches, still, her favorite one.
Although his boat is temper tossed
His link to Mom will not be lost
Providing only this, I think:
That we can find that WiFi link,

Gertrude Shilaleigh Parsimmon
Songs My Father Taught Joyce
Dublin Meander Press, Athlone, Eire, 1887


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 15 - 09:55 PM

And so adieu and au revoir
As you leave this, our teeming shore,
To drift along the Shannon's side
And perhaps go ebbing with the tide.

But know that we will all be here
(While you are quaffing all that beer)
Keeping Mom alive and well
(While you are raising merry hell).

But yet I fail to understand why
You think that Eire has no wifi!
It is damned near everywhere
And you can post whilst drinking beer.

   -- Billy Butler Yates, Songs of Innocence (Squamous, NY: Presse Bureau Bourreau, 1798).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 15 - 08:54 PM

AT dawn the silver bird will rise
And carry us across the azure summer skies
To Dublin town -- and there
We will rejoice in noisy streets (not unlike here)
But served with a better kind of beer.

Adieu, dear sibs of MOAB fame
Pray do not let decline or shame
Fall on Mom's honored halls.
Have balls.

While with cheerful gay abandon
Upon the wide and silver Shannon
Will make my way by river boat
(Hoping to keep the thing afloat)
And in pubs and villages make the ken
Of lovely maids and stalwart me
And turn, and drift back down again.

Adieu, dear friends--I will be nigh
But past the reach of most WiFi
And busy with my Irish host
Will not be able, much, to post.
So raise the standard, stay in touch
And each of you post twice as much!

Joyce-Ann Meriwether Smithers
"Ballad On Departure for the Irish Shore"

Collected Songs of MOAB, Smaug Press, Ltd., Westport Connecticut 1994, Brindle Heifer, editor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Aug 15 - 07:50 PM

Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Have you your papers in order?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 15 - 06:23 PM

Ich weiß nicht Deutsch und konnte nicht nach deutschem Recht verantwortlich gemacht werden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 15 - 12:46 PM

"SIR! This is for ladies only!!" the woman coming out of the loo told Rapparee.

"So is this, Madame!", he retorted, "but occasionally I have to run a little water through it!".

That was the last thing he remembered. When he woke up, a large and burly German polizei was staring at him from across a cold, damp room somewhere beneath the streets of Berlin. His hands were tied behind his back, and the polizei was thumbing through his wallet with great interest.

(Fade to black)...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Aug 15 - 11:41 AM

Good one, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 15 - 09:55 AM

I shall only be rid of that dumb ape after s/he is again locked up in a zoo as a plaything of baboons.

Boy, did I have a problem in Germany! I saw the sign for "Toiletten" and knew that it was there I had to go to go. Now, I grew up in a German-American family in a town that was predominantly German-American. But my generation never learned German, except for a few phrases, so when I saw a door labeled "Herren" I figured that it was German for "Her'n" as in "That ain't mine, it's her'n." I knew also from my past that "dis dat dese dose da" were perfectly okay words, as long as you put a subject after them, as in "dat coat" and "dose shoes" and "da cop." So when I saw that the other door was labeled "Dammen" I figured it was German for "Da Men" and went in. I figured out from the screaming that I was probably in the wrong room and nice cop explained it all to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 18 Aug 15 - 11:51 PM

Sounds like not much of a vacation if you see the same people in Germany who you meet here, especially if you're meeting Chongo around every corner. At least it is in a beautiful landscape, one hopes. Maybe Chongo will be stopped by the customs folks and won't actually follow you home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mr. R.
Date: 18 Aug 15 - 09:48 PM

Similar ideas and mouths too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 15 - 07:28 PM

Similar hair styles, too, except for the added color in Trump's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Aug 15 - 03:21 AM

"Anyways, the German trip was good. I met a lotta cool people and apes. Just spreadin' some goodwill around ahead of the 2016 election, and makin' trade contacts and stuff like that. It was wunderbar. Ook! Ook!"

Methinks Chongo may be related to the Donald. Their language is remarkably similar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Herman Abel, Deutsches Polizei
Date: 18 Aug 15 - 03:11 AM

We have put out a bulletin for one calling himself "Chongo Chimp." This person is of interest to us in regards to sexual molestation of a donkee this weekend past. You are required by Interpol to contact us if you know of this person of interest. Danke.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 11:16 PM

I actually seen Rap at a bar in Germany the other day. He was doin' the usual thing he does, tryin' hard to impress the women, scare the men, and so on. It was funny. Ook! Ook! The Germans been through 2 world wars, I think they can deal with somethin' as minor as Rap without even breakin' into a sweat. Anyways, the German trip was good. I met a lotta cool people and apes. Just spreadin' some goodwill around ahead of the 2016 election, and makin' trade contacts and stuff like that. It was wunderbar. Ook! Ook!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 10:48 PM

Ahhh... I think I gotta take a break.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 09:45 PM

It strikes me as odd that a being who characterizes himself as a large gray arachnid sitting in a web waiting for poor creatures to be ensnared as the effrontery to cast aspersions on how others do at being. Nor, I think, does Gnu need any reassurances frtom the like of a ne'er-do-well web-spinner. The cognitive dissonance is enough to shatter a wine-glass!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 05:06 PM

Fuck it's hot. 39C last I checked the thermo meter. Add the humdidity and she's over 45H. However, I got the near 15kBtu mini-split humpin in the living room and the 12kBtu portable humpin about 3 feet away from me in the office which is assisted by a box fan in the office door so... I'm cool.

Now, it's not Texas hot but, then again, everything is bigger in Texas.

It was hot in our provincial capital this AM. Charles the Blogger is a local hero. He goes after politicians with a videocam and doesn't hold back. Been in a court more than once. Here is a still from his YT vid today. Oh, yeah... HARPER Harper! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153531569735775&set=a.10150366222730775.403848.641115774&type=1


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 04:12 PM

I have long preferred to sit in the middle of the web, each nuance of the threads telling me of some hapless prey entrapped, rather than stand behind the scenes and emote. For I am the Spider King, the gray personage from which all flows and to which all homage is due.

M. le gnu, je believe en vous und ich gedanken that you est trop gut at le merde de taurus. SVP, stick around und nich worry auf Amos. L'est un player aug guitaren mais nicht gutten as Sie being.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 03:36 PM

Oy,I have stepped on toes all unmeaning to. I yam sorry, friend Gnu. I did not mean personal offense. What I said was perfectly reasonable, IMHO, but it was not intended as a jab at your good self. The substance of it, I believe, has considerable merit...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 15 - 08:00 AM

Well excUUUUUse me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 15 - 08:53 PM

Look, my friends. Each of you is an infininte and powerful, unbound and untrammeled source of good stuff and high-energy decisions, miracles of resolution and intent which come to be in reality purely because of the unadulterated power of your own abilities to make reality follow your lead. Selling out to the world of dull mechanism, chemistry, stimuls-response and sad effect of space, mass, entropy and time is a cosmic betrayal of all you are at your highest and best. So instead of worrying about what you put into or get out of your various bodily orifices, lets drill out to the important stuff--the high powered intentions with which you keep the show rolling along! There's an infinite array of dull-witted material junk, but there's only one You standing back of the scenes. Don't be fooled!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Aug 15 - 06:58 PM

Soya sauce at 48% of yer daily salt intake at fuck all quantity has a BB date? I just read the bottle... Nov 8 2012. I used it. I expect to post tomorrow. BB dates bother me. Take Campbell's soup fer yer example. Best before? The Yankee military requires a minimum fourty year shelf life for canned goods and they buy from Campbell. It may not be "fresh" but it still tastes okay if ya boil it fer a bit (and add some fresh veggies). These BB dates are misleading at best.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Aug 15 - 11:11 PM

Dog Gammit! The lyrics are

"Where men blow and women chunder." I have it on VINYL!

Why do all the lyrics sites state otherwise? Even all the vids on YT! Hear my thunder! I am pissed about this. All Australians, nay, ALL of the Commonwealth nations should rise up and respectfully request, if it's okay of course, that the lyrics sites post the original lyrics of such a monumental folk song. These are men at work for gosh sake! Show some fucking respect, mates.

BTW... YT that mother and listen to the various versions, old and new. It's a trip, kiddies. Trust me and pour a glass of red first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mad Konig Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 15 - 01:48 PM

Here in Schwangau, in the shadow of the castle my family actually owns, I can but wish Mom "Guten Abend" und wonder why y'all let her sink so low. No, I did not get a chance to meet with him -- I'll explain all when I'm not typing on an iPod.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 15 - 09:32 PM

The silence is long but the voices are golden
And BS is poor when 'tis only beholden
But free BS songs, as in times that were olden
Shall rise in Mom's parlor before her tent's folding.

Let chimes and let harmonies rise from our breast
And form from ether mom"s bright golden crest
The bold rampant Taurus, the prince of BS
The brightest, the loudest, the drollest, the best.

The Booqueman, the Gnuzer, the bold BWL
The ambiguous Dwyer from the fa Dallas knell
The Emm-Man, the Hawkster, with his creatures so fell,
And other stray poets too random to tell.

As our Mom seems to languish, they will not stand by
Nor idly observe with superior eye
But will leap to the fray, letting loud BS fly
To raise her once more to her station on high.

With Donder and Blitzen they will loudly proclaim
The Dwarfs they'll invoke, each summoned by name
And all of the old gods will dance to the flame
Lit by heros of MOAB to lift up her name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 15 - 10:57 AM

The Rapparree is on the prowl
In foreign parts, upon me sowl
Just like some weird old cranky owl
Or some demented barnyard fowl.

But Mom forgives her wandering brood
Although they're up to no damn good
She's always somehow understood
That travel is but reflection's food.

And when the wandering Bookman comes
She'll sound the trumpets and the drums
Or maybe just sit on her thumbs
In earnest celebration!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 05:54 PM

Did you get to meet him, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Das Guten Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 01:49 PM

Geez, I go away for a while and....

Talked with Alanabit yesterday. Please remind me to tell when I return on the 19th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 01:16 PM

If it was a Collie, it woulda gone for help. If I ever get a dog, I am gonna get me a Lassie dog on accounta I need a lot of help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 09:50 AM

Pitbull enthusiasm is a sight to behold. My pit smiles (the showing her teeth and snorting kind of smile) and her tail circles like a helicopter blade. Mix that with lab and you have a potent mix. I'm glad to hear you're keeping the dog (or is she keeping you). Don't let a couple of broken bones come between a good relationship. MOM understands that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 09:24 AM

The guilty dog is a mix breed. Definitely some pit bull. Possibly some Lab as she loves water. She just showed up on our doorstep a couple of years ago. No mean feat since our driveway is 1/4 mile long through the woods.

Future trips home from the pond will be prefaced by, "Tina, calm down!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 15 - 01:34 AM

What, she can't type, take dictation? Come on, BW! This is MOM we're talking about...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Aug 15 - 11:48 PM

BWL: sheesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 15 - 10:06 PM

That dog wouldn't be a Labrador retriever, would it? Mine has knocked a couple of us ass-over-applecart at least once. He's a great dog, but every now and then he just can't contain his excitement. That's why he lives with me now, instead of my more fragile friend (who was on the losing end of an automobile/pedestrian encounter and she is weak on the left side as a consequence. He was too much for her before that accident). I suspect your wife will hurry home, but she probably won't type your posts to MOAB for you. One out of two isn't bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 15 - 10:02 PM

Mom's sons and daughters--scattered! The wounded lying about like so many broken branches after a gale! The parted and departed and imparted and un-parted flying hither and yon! The Guns of August are growing still, their brave cannoneers shaken, muted, dazed and staggering about the planet.

But I say to you, FEAR NOT!! Be NOT dismayed!! Be bold, and hale!! Heal and flourish!! Prosper and rally!! Come forth jeering and blaring and sneering and cavorting! For verily a NEW DAY shall reign upon this land that is Mudcat, and at its dawn the SPIRIT OF BS will again rise up and reign over the harmony and cacaphonic delights of free spirits near and far!!

Mark ye my very words!

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Aug 15 - 06:11 AM

Ditto Amos. Heal well and soon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 10:06 PM

Dear friend BWL,

I am so sorry for your recent pains and tribulations. May the God of the Everglades look upon you with grace and relieve you of your suffering.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 09:32 PM

Hi again, Mom. I have just returned from the emergency room. My overly energetic 65# dog bowled me over and I broke my left wrist and left ankle at about 2:30 this afternoon. The fall occurred at my pond which is about 150 yards from my house down a footpath through the woods. I did not have my phone with me, and my wife is still in Indiana visiting friends. I had to crawl back to the house on hand (singular 'cause only one was usable) and knees. Then I called a friend to take me to the hospital.

I quit now. Typing with one hand sucks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 11:32 AM

Hi, Mom! I'm home from Indiana, land of corn and soybeans, and back in Floribama, land of cotton, peanuts and oppressive humidity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 10:48 AM

I think he should head to the Mediterranean if he's looking for ideas to redecorate his living room(s). More air, warm rich colors. Just what a house next to a golf course needs. You want anyone playing the hole nearest the back fence to glimpse the color and shapes through the partially open blinds and envy your lifestyle. That's what redecorating is for, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 15 - 12:07 AM

Oh, ya, gonna export your wicked expertise to the fine young fellows of Germany ya? THAT's a good idea.

In exchange, maybe they can help you redesign your living room?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 10 Aug 15 - 10:09 PM

Call home now and then. MOM appreciates it, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Le Bon et Grand Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 15 - 05:58 PM

Je suis sans puer et sans reproche.

A demain je voyage a Germany. I just thought y'all would like ta know. Deutschland, Deutschland über alles....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 15 - 11:52 AM

I found our Mom sinking low, under the pressure of a high-intensity attack of banality in multiple systems. So I am lifting her weary head, soothing her fevered brow, offering a nice cup of tea and a biscuit, and looking for Rapparree who was supposed to be keeping an eye on her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Aug 15 - 12:12 AM

We are relishing balmy evening breezes after a swlretering August sort of day. Not insufferable, but velly, velly, warm like, ya know?


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