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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Donuel 19 Oct 17 - 02:55 PM
Vashta Nerada 19 Oct 17 - 02:47 PM
Donuel 19 Oct 17 - 02:40 PM
Acme 18 Oct 17 - 11:24 PM
Donuel 18 Oct 17 - 11:22 PM
gnu 18 Oct 17 - 10:05 PM
Donuel 18 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 18 Oct 17 - 07:59 PM
Rapparee 18 Oct 17 - 07:57 PM
gnu 18 Oct 17 - 07:50 PM
Donuel 17 Oct 17 - 09:41 PM
Acme 17 Oct 17 - 09:21 PM
Acme 17 Oct 17 - 09:21 PM
Acme 17 Oct 17 - 08:17 PM
Donuel 17 Oct 17 - 11:31 AM
gnu 16 Oct 17 - 04:46 PM
Donuel 16 Oct 17 - 04:35 PM
Acme 15 Oct 17 - 08:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Oct 17 - 04:44 PM
Amos 14 Oct 17 - 12:51 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 17 - 11:19 AM
Amos 13 Oct 17 - 09:10 AM
Donuel 13 Oct 17 - 07:33 AM
Donuel 12 Oct 17 - 09:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Oct 17 - 06:44 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 17 - 06:57 PM
gnu 11 Oct 17 - 12:45 PM
gnu 11 Oct 17 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 17 - 10:21 AM
Amos 10 Oct 17 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 17 - 09:17 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 17 - 10:40 PM
Acme 09 Oct 17 - 06:39 PM
Vashta Nerada 09 Oct 17 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 17 - 10:24 AM
Amos 08 Oct 17 - 11:06 PM
Donuel 08 Oct 17 - 07:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Oct 17 - 12:09 PM
Acme 08 Oct 17 - 11:51 AM
Amos 07 Oct 17 - 11:18 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 17 - 09:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Oct 17 - 11:54 PM
Acme 06 Oct 17 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 06 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM
Amos 06 Oct 17 - 05:07 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Oct 17 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 06 Oct 17 - 09:48 AM
Donuel 05 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM
Acme 05 Oct 17 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 02:55 PM

title: Random Shooter


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 02:47 PM

Some of these song/poems actually belong in regular threads. We don't want MOAB kicked upstairs because there's too much musical content.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Oct 17 - 02:40 PM

No no one can see John Lennon again
he is paying for his gun man
Go ahead and go to the concert
There won't be a shooter alert
Bring a gun be safe from harm
When you own your first fire arm
you'll know how much its fun man



JFKRFKMLK paid for our guns
first graders had nothing to pay
They were shot beyond recognition.
some just pay with losing cognition
or maimed in ways we don't mention
Its mental health not the guns
that kills our daughters and sons



Enthusiasts and victims alike
Who knows when madness will strike
We will all pay forever
for a relative few minutes
of fun with some kick ass guns.
THAT WE BOUGHT WITH FREEDOM !!!!!!!!!!!!!
2nd Amendment Freedom :spoken



Chorus
to tag and splash
bust a cap, plug pop and kill
blast her ass killum fast
until you've had your fill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 11:24 PM

October is more than halfway through and it still mostly feels like summer here. Supposed to be mid-80s tomorrow. Back out on the sleeping porch after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 11:22 PM

the backstory is I was given one compelling line this morning "run out of ocean". By evening I found that it had finished itself with very little conscious intervention. It still needs a little edit but its fun when its easy and grim when its not.

I watched the autumn practice fight of thousands of starlings at sunset today weaving great French curves in the sky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 10:05 PM

Good stuff, Donuel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM

The great golden Trump

I know every ship of state
runs out of real estate.
will sail past shoals most cruel
All ships can run out of fuel
It may even lose motion.
Or run out of ocean
for the great ship of State

In my imagination
A voyage celebration
or a humiliation
is all up to the Captain.
To this skippers great anger
he forgot to weigh anchor

for the great, golden Trump.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 07:59 PM

Been there, gnu. It's wonderful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 07:57 PM

They resolved a cranial thing with C3? Wasn't that a bit drastic?

Right now I'm in Manchester, NH, nursing a cough and/or cold. I shall be home next Tuesday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Oct 17 - 07:50 PM

Buddy! What I wouldn't give to be able to sit on that old fallen log on Jimmy's Hook up in Partridge Flats near the beaver pond right now. Cold and still and silent. Nare a strip of wind. I remember sitting there, listening to Mother Earth bump and grind. You could hear and sometimes feels the thumps and bumps from far far away. And, everything would get silent an hour before dark. Deafening silence. So much so that I sometimes gently snapped my fingers near my ears just to check if I could still hear... you know... to break that odd 'noise' that you hear when ALL is silent.

And then, the rustle of leaves. Birds might be walking, scratching, munching poplar leaves, lifting to bud in the trees just before dark... all was right with my world. I was at peace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 09:41 PM

I saw the number coming hundreds ago but it went to a good person.

The half of a conversation is not constructed to make sense although it could be made to cleverly imply the other half of the conversation.
It is actually just a list of nothing but 'excuses'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 09:21 PM

56665. Mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 09:21 PM

Oh, I just noticed a tidy number coming up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 08:17 PM

Nicely done, Donuel.

Getting to be good sleeping weather, finally cool at night. I need another blanket on the bed. Did you know George F. Babbitt used to sleep on a sleeping porch? With several blankets. I'm rereading the book, I'd forgotten that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Oct 17 - 11:31 AM

Half of a Conversation


Its the way of the world
Its not my fault
He did it
No time
What?
Bye

Because its none of my business
But I didn't have the money
Then what about the kids
Someone stole what?
I was cheated too
Its way too far
But I can't
Because
Huh?

Jeez
If only
If they only
'cause I don't know
If we all could only
I'm sure I could have
No one gives a damn
They don't care
I don't care
I'm tired
fukit


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Oct 17 - 04:46 PM

A willy wand without drugs sounds wonky to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Oct 17 - 04:35 PM

Acme nuff said However I am picturing Trump undergoing a crainial colostomy. The copius excrement was breath taking.

Once again I dodged another medical bullet. I began seeing double. I thought it was due to watching TV in the mirror.(paralax conditioning) It was not.
It was a tiny infection at the cerrabellum near the brain stem.
It resolved at c3 with a little ampicillin and I feel great.
Along with the infection a tiny spacecraft also emerged but under a microscope the lights were not on and nobody was home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Oct 17 - 08:35 PM

I have a friend who had many of those encounters as well. Turned out he had a fistula. The surgery to repair it included six weeks wearing a temporary colostomy bag. He shared the details (I did ask - it seemed he needed a sympathetic ear). Never ever get one of those if you can avoid it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Oct 17 - 04:44 PM

My best friend has had so many encounters with that little fiber-optic device that he's on a first name basis with it. He calls it the Dicktascope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 17 - 12:51 PM

Thanks, old friend. It involves an optic fiber going the wrong way up a urethra that has until recently been strictly a one-way passage.

The witch doctor believes he has found a small tumor inside the bladder where I store my precious bodily fluids before eliminating them. I am sure he just wants to steal my precious bodily fluids but I have to catch him in the act, see. So I am playing dumb. He'll be so surprised when I spring my little trap. But mum's the word. I know this guy--if he suspects I'm onto him, he'll try to drug me into unconsciousness before invading my secret passages, to prevent me from capturing him in the act. Pretty dastardly, these medical types. But I'm too smart for him, see.

Presumably this will all be resolved by the end of the day (Halloween).

A
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 17 - 11:19 AM

May your small surgery turn out minuscule!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 17 - 09:10 AM

I love seeing people write poetry, but sometimes their poetry makes no sense.


It is similar in some respects to the perfervid posts I see sometimes on Facebook, written by someone who feels strongly about some issue but for whom English is a distant second language. It becomes difficult to respond to the thought and the feeling because it is so hard to weed through the awkwardly wielded language.

But carry on, quoth I.

Today I have an exciting pre-op meeting in anticipation of a small surgery on Friday the 13th--my lucky day! May Mom protect me.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Oct 17 - 07:33 AM

If Amos becomes Poet Laureate one day I hope he condemns the Bank of America TV commercial that disparage poets as shiftless, parasitic individuals.

unless its true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Oct 17 - 09:50 AM

Rap your poem explains why you have not responded ever since I rhymed castle with asshole and wisdom with rectum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Oct 17 - 06:44 AM

Should I ever be in a situation where Mom's children feel compelled to offer assistance, please do NOT send cash.

Just send guitars. It will save me from having to make trips to the music store.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 06:57 PM

Here there is more good! I give it in the form of poem.

None should boast about his brains--
Be ever wary with words.
When the wise and quiet comes to the hall
Seldom he shames himself.
A better friend is found nowhere
Than good supply of sense.

The cautious guest come for a meal
Is still, but strains to hear,
Listens with ears, and looks with eyes;
The wise are watchful ever.

Blessed is he who has for himself
Good opinion and praise--
More difficult far to deal with that
Which hides in another's heart.

Blessed is he who has in himself
Others' good will and wisdom.
For ill advice too often comes
Out of another's breast.

No better store one bears on the road
Than supply of good sense--
Like a well-filled purse in a place unknown,
The wealth of those in want.

No better store one bears on the road
Than supply of good sense,
Nor bears a worse walking abroad
Than imbibing too much beer.

Less good it is than good it seems,
Mead, for the sons of men.
The longer one drinks the less he knows
What lies in his own heart.

You may,if you so wish, quote me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 12:45 PM

FB is up again. Good thing I checked. I wanted to delete a post from, and ban a member of, a group before his comments became a content problem with FB. One bad apple can spoil the group. Now, back to membership requests.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 11:54 AM

Facebook is having issues since 11:12 AM EDT. Are you also affected? Leave a message in the comments.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 17 - 10:21 AM

Oh, Amos, I wouldst fain to see thee lashed by cash or muddled by mere money! Here, here is some good advice which I give thee for nothing, and stash these few precepts in thy memory!

Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel, but do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, bear't that the opposed may beware of thee. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice; take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment. Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, but not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy; for the apparel oft proclaims the man, and they in France of the best rank and station are of a most select and generous chief in that. Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. This above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 17 - 10:48 PM

AS I endure cruel fortune's lash
My friends around me rally true
And when they ask what they should do
I tell them simply, "Send me cash."

Nor food nor clothing I desire
As fortunes evil voice doth heckle
But I will endure hard Fortune's fire
If all my friends contribute shekels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 17 - 09:17 PM

If all be true that I do think
There are five reasons why we drink:
Good friends, good wine, or being dry
Or lest we should be by-and-by,
Or any other reason why.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 10:40 PM

Send your old food. The stuff that's been in the back of the fridge for months, if not years. If you can tell it, "Go to Amos' house!" and it does, it's probably old enough.

But don't send him cash or any equivalent thereof. He'd only spend it foolishly on things like food, shelter, and clothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 06:39 PM

Booze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 01:25 PM

They say one shouldn't send clothes these days, one should send cash. But if you sent cash, would Amos use it for clothes and shelter, or would he buy another guitar or a kayak for his nearby river?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 17 - 10:24 AM

oh my amos' gutters are running with water whatever shall he do i hope he survives this cataclysmic preview of maritme Armageddon oh my i just saw on the news that he could have gotten as much as 0.001 inches of rain i have notified the red cross and fema and the salvation army and all about this disaster all of mom's kids should collect old clothes and old food and stuff and send it all to amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 11:06 PM

It's even raining a little bit up here in North Carolina, but we forge bravely on!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 07:20 PM

Acme you have revealed the exact same problem extraterrestrials have with translating Earth languages. Naval intelligence still has problems letting ET translators know what they have been doing wrong.
The movie Arrival shows the difficulty in translating temporal differences in language. You have shown the difficulty in multilingual translation between two planetary languages. I bet 'they' did better in the days of old Latin. Or did they give us that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 12:09 PM

Nate was a near non-event for us. Two or three inches of rain. Lots of dead limbs down but no trees. I removed the fabric from the portable garage we keep my wife's car under and moved the car to a treeless area. Sure enough, a big limb that could have punched through the fabric and damaged the car was resting inside the garage frame this morning. We need a bit of wind every now and then to clean the dead stuff out of the trees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Oct 17 - 11:51 AM

Looks like Tropical Storm Nate is drenching BWL about now. MOM predicted this, said Ma Nature wasn't going to quit until she clobbered all mudcatters living around the rim of the Gulf this summer. It took four tries, but I believe many of us have gotten wet now. AND as a bonus, Nate might push some extra rain up over the top of Gnu's house if it travels as projected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 17 - 11:18 PM

Chonga who was Chongo has never lived down his/her shame at the way he/she treated his/her mother and his/her sister Chinga. So it is no surprise he or she is subject to episodes of acute depression. If only s/he could face up to his or her regrets and guilts, he/she could be made whole again. But nooooo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 17 - 09:22 PM

Facebook translates the late Chonga Chimp's "Ook ook!" as "Tsk tsk." But lately, I don't know where or how, I have lost all my mirth and everything seems nothing except barren earth, a miasma of foul odors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 11:54 PM

I do not use Google Translate. If one of my posts appears to be in some language other than American English, you can rest assured it is 100% gibberish. No translation is necessary. Or even possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 10:46 PM

Google translate gets to be fun when you take one bit of text, translate it through several other languages, then back to English to see what comes back. We've conducted that game in the past, but since the software has gone through revisions, we ought to give it another test.

That paragraph, above, "translated" below. I didn't write them down as I selected the language to translate to, and I think I broke Google Translate. It stopped working a couple of times till I switched browsers.

French
Google traduit devient amusant lorsque vous prenez un peu de texte, traduisez-le dans plusieurs autres langues, puis retournez en anglais pour voir ce qui revient. Nous avons mené ce jeu dans le passé, mais comme le logiciel a révisé, nous devrions lui donner un autre test.

German
Google übersetzt macht Spaß, wenn Sie einen kleinen Text machen, ihn in mehrere andere Sprachen übersetzen und dann zurück ins Englische gehen, um zu sehen, was zurückkommt. Wir haben dieses Spiel in der Vergangenheit geführt, aber als die Software überarbeitet wurde, sollten wir es noch einmal testen.

Yiddish?
Google iberzetsung shpas ven ir makhn a kleyn text, iberzetsn es in etlekhe andere shprakhn, aun demolt geyn tsurik tsu english tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. mir hobn geshfilt dem shpil in der fargangenhayt, ober ven di veykhvarg iz riveyzd, mir zol prubirn es vider.


Slovak
Google iberzetsung sa vyskytne po kliknutí na text, iberzetsn es in etlekhe andere shprakhn, aun demolt geyn tsurik tsu english tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. zrýchlit hubu, ktorá je viditelná v kanáloch, ktoré sa nachádzajú vo vzdialenosti od mora.

Spanish
Google iberzetsung aparecerá después de hacer clic en el texto, iberzetsn es en etlekhe andere shprakhn, una demolición geyn tsurik tsu Inglés tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. para acelerar el cubo, que es visible en los canales que están situados a una distancia del mar.

This is supposed to be the same thing, back in English:
Google iberzetsung will appear after clicking on the text, iberzetsn is in etlekhe andere shprakhn, a demolition geyn tsurik tsu English tsu zen vos kumendik tsurik. to accelerate the cube, which is visible in channels that are located at a distance from the sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM

Actually, Amos, I have excellent hearing aids AND bluetooth accessories courtesy of the Veterans Administration. I also have an iPhone now, and an iPod Touch, and I'm thinking of an iPad (just a little one). But if I go to an iPad what do I do with the Acer and Asus little computers I have? The Asus even comes apart to I can use part of it as a tablet.

You're correct about using Google Translate. So I leave you with this thought, translated by my very own brain: Dondé esta las cervezas? Yo tengo muy, muy sed. Y yo tengo hambre, pero no por su cuerpo, por carne asada.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 05:07 PM

Rapp, maybe this will be hard for you to hear--you are famous for the hardness of your hearing. But as a friend I have to tell you: using Google Translate to say things in foreign tongues does NOT make you seem exotic, alluring, mysterious, worldly OR wise. There is another set of adjectives that DO come into play for such behaviors but I forebear (out of kindness, I suppose).

God bless all who walk these hallowed halls!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 11:46 AM

"Harnee, karnee, eekanarnee!"

Bullwinkle Moose, The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, 1964


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 17 - 09:48 AM

Á veturna sefur mađur í innsiglishúđum og björnaskinnum, aldrei ull. Therefore I have provided Mom with the finest so that as the weather becomes chilly she can keep her old bones warm. Brennivín mun einnig halda henni vel eins og ţađ gerđi fyrir vikurnar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 10:25 PM

A sleeping porch in early October defended only by wool blankets.

That is so damn quaint


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 10:16 PM

But did it have to do with the weather I had just remarked upon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 17 - 09:48 PM

So true! It's Basque, a language in which my fluency is legendary. I am fluent in Profane, Obscene, and Blasphemous but I try to restrain myself from demonstrating said fluency.


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