Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

keberoxu 20 Jan 17 - 12:45 PM
gnu 20 Jan 17 - 06:30 PM
keberoxu 21 Jan 17 - 03:57 PM
Rapparee 21 Jan 17 - 10:29 PM
Donuel 22 Jan 17 - 12:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Jan 17 - 09:02 AM
Acme 22 Jan 17 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 17 - 09:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Jan 17 - 11:22 AM
keberoxu 23 Jan 17 - 04:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Jan 17 - 08:59 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 17 - 09:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Jan 17 - 11:15 PM
gnu 24 Jan 17 - 07:15 AM
Rapparee 24 Jan 17 - 09:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 17 - 10:33 AM
Acme 24 Jan 17 - 11:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 17 - 04:00 PM
Acme 24 Jan 17 - 04:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Jan 17 - 05:32 PM
gnu 24 Jan 17 - 08:31 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 17 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 24 Jan 17 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 17 - 09:14 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 17 - 01:03 PM
Amos 25 Jan 17 - 08:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jan 17 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 17 - 10:29 PM
keberoxu 26 Jan 17 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 17 - 01:57 PM
Amos 26 Jan 17 - 04:56 PM
gnu 26 Jan 17 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 17 - 08:43 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 17 - 09:30 AM
gnu 27 Jan 17 - 01:10 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 17 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 17 - 03:05 PM
gnu 28 Jan 17 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 17 - 03:56 PM
gnu 28 Jan 17 - 04:01 PM
Amos 29 Jan 17 - 09:45 AM
gnu 29 Jan 17 - 03:35 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 17 - 05:31 PM
Amos 29 Jan 17 - 05:42 PM
gnu 29 Jan 17 - 09:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Jan 17 - 10:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 17 - 07:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 17 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 17 - 11:42 AM
gnu 30 Jan 17 - 12:46 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 Jan 17 - 12:45 PM

All I know about circuses is, better not linger behind the elephants.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jan 17 - 06:30 PM

I didn't watch the "moment" but I did watch a YT feed of a wee bit of the speech. When he started "whipping up the crowd" with the "righteous" talk stuff, I felt sick inside and had to turn it off. These are dangerous times. Dog help us all.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jan 17 - 03:57 PM

okay.
I'll do it myself.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 17 - 10:29 PM

Thank you from saving Mom from Disgrace and a Fate Worse That Death.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Jan 17 - 12:09 AM

THE DEVIL AND BARAK OBAMA

There is a story they tell in the border lands, where Mexico joins American Counties of various diversity and intolerence.
Yes Barak Obama is retired, at least they Air Forced 1 him out of town. There hasn't been a powerfully eloquent orator anything like him in 4 generations. Everyday when Fracking quakes tremble and shudder the earth beneath our feet like distant thunder there are people who remember Barak building to a thunderous finale. Fewer still remember the actual words like "Our Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet. With eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us,
we carry forth that great gift of freedom and deliver it safely to future generations.". What people actually remember is that Barak may have saved their new Camaro, Charger or Chevy Pick Up to get made after 2008. But fewer still believe it if they watch Fox News.

You see, for awhile he was the biggest man in the country and the world but he wasn't the biggest for long. Soon he couldn't get a speck of cooperation, even for things everyone desperately wanted. There were millions who trusted him right next to good ol Abe and God Almighty. Even as a seedling he had the power to bust through asphalt. Everything he pushed for he earned.

He became a lawyer and a remarkable Constitutional scholar who could have stood before the Supreme Court, but never did. Instead he selected 3 Supreme Court nominees. The one and only case he ever argued is missing from any law review, docket or literature. It's too bad because his soul was probably the only one pure enough and scandal free to dare take on the devil himself who always wins even when he loses. This is the way I have heard this story told;


There was a young man named Donald Trump, who lived at the cross roads of Forest Hills Queens. He wasn't a bad kid to start but being sly and crafty got him into trouble for lots of little things like spit balls. The more they'd sting the more fun it was. For 7th grade he was sent to a Military school Cornwall on the Hudson not
for behavior problems but because his dad wanted to toughen him up and get all the silly spiritual beliefs from Mom drummed out of Donald.

It was amazing what a year of hazing can do.
It teaches unswerving total denial, you learn to follow the rules and align yourself with and suck up to authority. Donald wasn't that lucky. While big for his age, in the showers his size only contrasted
his unique 'hand size'` and brought ceaseless teasing from the older boys. It made Donald crawl inside himself. The isolation, not knowing how to make a bed or shine his shoes, 'the new guy' hazing grew worse every day. One desperate night he cried out for help not knowing help could in fact be bought for very little compensation. And boy oh boy did he ever compensate.


2. Van Horne calls in his yuge note
3. Twitler needs a lawyer.
4. the jury
5. the verdict
6. the end


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 17 - 09:02 AM

Hi, Mom. Sorry I haven't stopped in for a few days, but the inauguration of he-whose-name-I-shall-not-utter-following-the-word-"President" has adversely affected my sense of humor. Perhaps it will return after the impeachment.

Then again, "President Pence" doesn't exactly make me want to chortle with glee.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jan 17 - 10:03 PM

The only thing that would be good about Pence is that he at least knows how a politician should behave in public, even if he is busy goring health legislation and trying to rescind the good works of the last couple of Democratic administrations. Trump is damned dangerous.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 09:16 AM

Mom, I shan't get all political on you. You always told us the things that gentlefolk never discuss are politics, rap music, and religion -- and that they certainly never "kiss and tell."

But I must ask, Mom, what your feelings were about the double election of Chester A. Arthur? And James Buchanan. Was Buchanan really "good friends" with William Rufus King? And what about Harriet Lane? I know you know, Mom. Please tell us!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 11:22 AM

Mom says there was nothing untoward about the friendship between James Buchanan and William Rufus King. They did basically the same things any other two male friends would do: drink whiskey, play cards, and take turns having sex with goats. Nothing wrong with that, especially since the goats were always female. It would only be controversial if the goats were male.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 04:50 PM

Amos?
Amos??
You still alive somewhere?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 08:59 PM

The Bare Hunt

'Twas on a cold December day
When through a field of withered corn
Three hunstmen hiked upon their way
As naked as the day they're born

'Twas not a sight one often sees
A trio of buck-naked men
With willies wagging in the breeze
Their names were Peter, George and Sven

Now these three hunters never failed
To bag the game that they pursued
Be deer or turkey, hog or quail
But ne'er before while in the nude

The reason that it came to pass
That these brave men were in the buff
Was that a wanton little lass
Had stolen all their clothes and stuff

They took her to their hunting camp
To get her drunk and high and stoned
But they passed out, and then the tramp
Took everything those hunters owned

Except she left their guns behind
For they were in a heavy box
Secured with wire and baling twine
And sturdy combination locks

So when the huntsmen did arise
And see that all their clothes were gone
George hollered, "Damn that bitch's eyes!"
And Peter said, "Let's just go home."

But Sven said, "No, I came to hunt
and that is what I plan on doin'.
I will not let some thieving cunt
Turn my weekend into a ruin!"

And so the three grabbed up their guns
And trudged off through the drifting snows
With goosebumps on their naked buns
And frostbite nipping at their toes

The three men they were seen no more
And this sad tale it ends right there
They got their clothes stole by a whore
And froze to death while hunting bare


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 09:49 PM

That's as great as the one I quoted by Abraham Lincoln.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 17 - 11:15 PM

As great? Merely as great? Look, I don't go around emancipating slaves on account of Abe does it much better than me. But Abe needs to stick to his President gig and leave the poetry stuff to us English majors with ironic senses of humor.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 07:15 AM

Nicely done, BWL.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 09:19 AM

I have a little bachelor's
That keeps me unemployed,
But I know Dunne from Milton
A source of joy and pride!

I can tell iamb from anapest
And a sonnet from an ode,
An epic from a tragedy --
I quote Shakespeare by the load.

Yes, Greek tragedy can make me smile,
And Pope and Chaucer too,
But the "wherewithal" to pay for that --
Well, I use a public loo.

But I recognize great literature
Like Bill Reilly and Glenn Beck!
But still I ask, "Do you want fries?"
For a marketable skill I lack.

There are jobs, even jobs for me,
Well paying jobs, I'm sure,
But somehow I doubt I'll reach them
With a GPA of 1.4.

            --Maximilian Xerxes Lossole, upublished, 2031.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 10:33 AM

Bravo, kind Rap! There's truth in your poesy, though English majors also make decent librarians and managers of bookstores*.

* My seldom-mentioned "career" before hearing the call of the potter's wheel and poverty starvation self-employment.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 11:27 AM

bare and whore? [wince]


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 04:00 PM

And precisely what is meant by "bare and whore? [wince]"? Is it meant to imply that I attempted to rhyme those two words? If so, please reread the poem, paying close attention to the rhyme scheme. "Whore" rhymes with "more" and "bare" rhymes with "there".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 04:10 PM

That's what I get for dyslexia.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 05:32 PM

That's not what I get for Dyslexia. I get her a box of chocolates and a dozen roses.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 08:31 PM

Ahhhh, sweet Lysdexia. I yptoed her yell in the sweat moments of extasie. Ahhh, where has my yout goneÉ I shall never be the Sammy.

You ever hear that joke about Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean Martin? It's hilarious but it involves banging a dick on a bed post so that's two risky for pubic forum, eh?

Nasty freezing rain here. If I should happen to lose my internUt connection, remember that


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 09:21 PM

FIVE FOOT DRIFTS!!!!! Buildings collapsing!!! Snow plows rolling over!!!! Schools, businesses, public buildings, universities -- closed!!! Food running short!!! Medical aid not available!!! Continuous shelling!!!! Snowsnowsnowsnow!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 17 - 09:32 PM

Record Report


428
SXUS75 KPIH 240743
RERPIH

RECORD EVENT REPORT
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE POCATELLO ID
1235 AM MST TUE JAN 24 2017

...RECORD DAILY MAXIMUM RAINFALL AND SNOWFALL SET AT POCATELLO ID...

A RECORD RAINFALL OF 0.52 INCH(ES) WAS SET AT POCATELLO ID YESTERDAY. THIS BREAKS THE OLD RECORD OF 0.33 SET IN 1950.

A RECORD SNOWFALL OF 8.6 INCH(ES) WAS SET AT POCATELLO ID YESTERDAY. THIS BREAKS THE OLD RECORD OF 2.8 INCH(ES) FOR THE DAY WHICH WAS SET IN 1993 AND ALSO THE GREATEST 24-HOUR RECORD FOR THE MONTH OF 8.3 INCH(ES) WHICH WAS SET ON JAN 8, 2005.

--------------------


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 09:14 AM

We're record-setting folks here! Broke the records for rain and snow on the same day!!!! And today is Bobby Burns Birthday, so the festivities up at the Legion Hovel will be doubly stupendous.

YES!! The annual Bobby Burns Birthday Booze Bonanza Bash is tonight! There will be the usual Bobby Burn Birthday Booze Bonanza Bash Banquet with the traditional Creamed Haggis on Toast, Steerie-Cauld, Cullen Skink, Bashed Neeps, Champit Tatties, and of course barrels and barrels of the finest Scotch Whiskey. A wild time will be had by all, and the hangovers tomorrow will be phenomenal (photo from last year's Bobby Burns Birthday Booze Bonanza Bash).


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 01:03 PM

I must admit to mixed feelings about no longer playing in a Celtic band. I miss playing for audiences. I miss the musical proficiency that comes with regular band practice. I don't miss playing at Burns Night dinners and having to pretend to to enjoy bagpipes, haggis, and some damned fool reciting "Tae a Moose, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest with the Plough."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 08:46 PM

Hello, Mom, and hello sibs all! Forgive me; I have been carving my way back to cyber space through a dense forest of man-eating Bekins Boxes (boxius Bekinses) who will grab a man by the wrist and snap his spine with one twist of gravity, drain the life blood from his like a child-bearing copperhead, and leave him him limp and wasted fearing to move until dawn. M y steadfast Leatherman at hand, I carved and tore at the frabjous foe. Box after box, after box. And still they came.

And as if that weren't enough I was beset bya plague of Internet Connectivity Wobblies whose fearsome screams can strike terror into the stoutest heart. They, too, I conquered, thanks to my trusty iPhone and my deadly tongue and keen wit.

The Frumptious Buyer beleaguered me, and the Gross american Lender nearly undid me (usuruous Americanus) with his time-stealing breath.

Now, we have every box unboxed and most furniture has found a place for now, and after carving open sixty-two cases of books, I have managed to connect my beloved puter to the new Internet of the South (Timus Warnerus Southronitus) and make my way, scarred, aching, exhausted, bruised, battered, bloodied and limping but unbowed, mind you, back to Mom's welcoming bosom.

The house is everything we hoped--the ancient (1859) stairs creak with the ghostly memories of antebellum merchants and fiery rebellious youths and their beloveds from long ago, now returned to dust in form, but still alive in the eaves of spirit. It is large and comfortable, with a wholly redone infrastructure from foundation up, modern appliances, tastefully integrated into the original aura of the old place so that the ancient and the brand-new combine in harmonious decorum.

Wife, son and myself are very happy with the town, the neighbors, the street, the house, and the dog is delighted with her expansive domain, a large fenced-in back yard where she can cavort. I played a set at the nearby Nash Strreet tavern last night, where Mayor Tom is a regular, and he 'llowed as it was pretyy darn good and I should consider myself a local now.

Thanks a million to Stilly for her kind hospitality, from which we slipped away all too soon. It was one helluva Nodyssey, let me tell ya, but we have landed safe and found our haven port at last. I sahll never move house again, even if the Trumps move to Hillsborough,.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 09:56 PM

Hooray for Amos's new old house!
Hooray for Maggie Dog having a place to cavort!
Hooray for Amos for not keeling over dead while unpacking!
Hooray for Hillsborough, NC for not having any Trumps living there!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 17 - 10:29 PM

Gracious! Amos is in new haven! Try to stay out of yale, ja?

Have you found the Lost Treasure of the North Carolina Piedmont yet? It's supposed to be buried somewhere around Hillsborough.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 01:05 PM

It is reassuring, Amos, to hear that you have prevailed against the frabjous and the frumptious. Thanks for letting us know.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 01:57 PM

BIG INVITE TO AMOS' NEW PLACE COMING SOON FOR ALL MOABITES!!!


I really must remember to tell him.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 04:56 PM

I haven't forgotten what you did to my last house, Rapparee, when you thought I was away. I'm watching you.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 05:34 PM

It's toasty typing. I moved the laptop to Mum's where I got an emergency panel put in with a connection to a generator some years ago and got an internet connection put in last winter. My ouse is hovering at (yes, "ouse" because I can't find the insert key that I obviously hit by mistake) 3C and will only get colder as the temperature drops in the great outdoors. My backdoor neighbours and across the street neighbours and two houses north neighbours have power. We six on this dead end street have none since last evening. Nice to get back online and visit all mom's chilluns.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 17 - 08:43 PM

Mr. Amos Jessup


Welcomes


ALL Moabites and Children of MOM


Past, Present, and Future


to his new home


in Hillsborough, North Carolina, United States


For a Grand Housewarming and Whatever You Wish


Come whenever you wish, stay as long and you want




No RSVP needed --


Surprise him with your presence





Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 17 - 09:30 AM

Good morning, everyone!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 17 - 01:10 PM

I turned the water off and drained the lines. Never had a cold ass and warm beer before but I set the beer on the kitchen cupboard so it will chill in no time. I expect power by tomorrow morning... hopefully. The generator at Mum's is great. Got 14 hours out of 7/8 of a tank. Of course, with the temperature only down to -2C and moderate wind until the wee hours, it's about "right". Only thing of bother is sleeping in a house that's too warm but it beats the alternative. COME ON LOOTO 6/49!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 17 - 10:02 PM

I've been in that situation, gnu. It ain't pretty...or warm. You have electric heat, I take it, and nothing else. After my experiences in Ohio when the power pooped out we've always had a place with some sort of woodburner. Here I have two of them.

I'd say "Stay cool!" but I won't.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 17 - 03:05 PM

I have led a good life, full of peace and quiet,
I shall have an old age, full of rum and riot.
I have been a good boy wedded to peace and study.
I shall have an old age ribald, course and bloody,
I have never cut throats even when I yearned to,
Never sang a dirty song that my fancy turned to.
I have been a good boy and done what was expected.
I shall be an old'bum, loved but unrespected,


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 17 - 03:24 PM

Latest word was tomorrow between 10 and 11PM. I started hauling can goods to the basement and finished the last load, knowing all would be safe from freezing. I sat in my office for a well deserved smoke and a beer and... yup, my office lights came on. NB Power left an hour ago. I gave the boys a BIG thumbs-up and they gave it back.

Now they can join their buddies in NE NB. The poor buggers up there will be weeks getting power back on. I saw a video yesterday taken in Lamèque by a guy driving the main road... pole after pole after pole smashed and downed. The whole road, for miles and miles and it's all over NE NB. NB Power has to, essentially, "reinstall" the works... drill new holes for poles and all. Crews from NS, PQ, and ME are on the ground too.

It was eventful. Learned a few things, like, having home phone with a cable company means you can lose your land line when the power goes out and also your cell phone. That distressed Mum a great deal. Anyway, it was fun. The generator deal at Mum's was a big payoff for a ten year old investment. Greco XXL (32 slice) Grecoworks pizza has been ordered for the celebration. The box takes up every inch of one shelf in my fridge. I should weigh myself BEFORE I get it because I know I dropped some pounds during this fun time. Didn't even eat for the first day and a half... 'cept fer a few ales. We men types throw food to the wind when there is "work" to be done.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 17 - 03:56 PM

Which is why we still have a landline. Power fails, phone still works. The power line and phone line are buried, but squirrels can fry a transformer at a substation (it's happened) or a car or truck take down a pole, or, well, anything. At least I know my power line and phone line can't go down any lower!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 17 - 04:01 PM

Didja ever get so full you couldn't swallow? Ahhhhhhh..... I'm sleepy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 09:45 AM

I love your promise, Rapp. Let us grow corrupt together. :D

Gnu, for cry-i, get a back up genny

Spent a fun evening at a neighbor's celebrating Chinese New Year with two veteran Time-Life photography experts and other world-traveled souls who had somehow floated down to Hillsborough. This is a surprising town, riich in insight and full of interesting souls.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 03:35 PM

I did not weigh myself before the pizza party. I did this AM. Lost 6 pounds but one pond is obviously water weight due to the salty pizza. Eating pizza again today to build up my strength. That's the best excuse I have. Sunny and 3C and I have remedial work to do but my back is SORE so screw that for now. Slept like a baby last night.

150 CAF troops will arrive in NE NB shortly... there are still 40,000 customers without power. Why the hell they were not on the ground by Friday, at the latest, is beyond me. Fucking incompetence of our provincial government boggles the mind. Jesus H. Christ! Our military and our emergency response teams responded to Katrina faster than this and New Orleans is a wee tad further away.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 05:31 PM

You should have called on the Maine National Guard. The 133rd Engineer Battalion, headquartered in Brunswick and with companies in several other towns, would certainly have responded if asked. Four years from now they might even have gone home.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 05:42 PM

It's chilly here, too--about 40º F. But we had a lovely lunch party with hopmemade latkes in honor of potatoes everywhere.

I am getting downright spoiled!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 09:53 PM

Rap... CFB Gagetown is in NB. One of the largest CFB bases, nay, military bases in the Commonwealth. The mind boggles at the stunnedasmearse politicians who grandstand in the Irving Family Newsletters (they own ALL the daily newspapers in NB save one) and the corporate controlled CBC that announce this tripe and lard. There are thousands of troops just down the road in Gagetown and in other nearby bases. Oh... forget it. I am just an old and cranky man.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jan 17 - 10:38 PM

Tripe and lard! That's what I left off my grocery list when I went shopping yesterday! Guess I'll have to make due with chittlin's and fatback until my next trip into town.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 07:36 AM

To the tune of "Baby Face"

♫♫♫♫♫♫

Tripe and lard
Oh how I wish I had some tripe and lard
To get along without it is so hard
Tripe and lard
Mix it with stone ground millet
Fry it in a cast iron skillet
Tripe and lard
I'm gonna by a hundred pounds with my charge card
Hog chittlin's will not do
I need some tripe lard stew
Oh I love my tripe and lard

♫♫♫♫♫♫


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 10:15 AM

Still to the tune of "Baby Face"...

Tripe and Lard (NSFW Version)

♫♫♫♫♫♫

Tripe and lard
I want to smear myself with tripe and lard
To think about it makes my nipples hard
Tripe and lard
I'm gonna to rub my nub
While lying in a great big tub
Of tripe and lard
It's better than a goat, a sheep, or Saint Bernard
You should get yourself some
And rub it on your bum
Then you will love some tripe and lard

♫♫♫♫♫♫


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 11:42 AM

I prefer deep fat fried lard sticks! Breaded and fried, yummy! And caramelized tripe au chocolat flambe is to die for!

These, of course, a regional recipes. You can't get them in Seattle or NYC or LA or Chicago or Meddybemps. Sometimes they are available in Sickkpoo, Paul, and Beer Bottle Crossing, Idaho. They are a standard part to the menu at the Idaho Legion Hovel and at the Restaurant In The Gas Station here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jan 17 - 12:46 PM

We ordered tripe and lard by the yard... I would suggest that the best version is on the album Hearty and Hellish by Clancy's & Makem... There was Johnny McEldoo and McGee and me
And a couple of two or three went on the spree one day
We had a bob or two, which we knew how to blew
And the beer and whiskey flew and we all felt gay
We visited McCann's, Maclaman's, Humpty Dan's
We then went into Swan's, our stomachs for to pack
We ordered out a feed, which indeed, we did need
And we finished it with speed, but we still felt slack

Johnny McEldoo turned red white and blue
As a plate of irish stew he soon put out of sight
He shouted out "Encore!" with a roar for some more
That he'd never felt before such a keen appetite
We ordered eggs and ham, bread and jam, what a cram
But him, we couldn't ram, though we tried our level best
For everthing we brought, cold or hot, mattered not
It went down him like a shot but he still stood the test

He swallowed tripe and lard by the yard, we got scared
We thought it would go hard when the waiter brought the bill
Told him to give o'er, but he swore he could lower
Twice as much again and more before he had his fill
He nearly supped a trough full of broth. Says McGrath,
"He'll devour the tablecloth if you don't hold him in"
When the waiter brought the charge, McEldoo felt so large
He began to scout and barge and his blood went on fire

He began to curse and swear, tear his hair in despair
And to finish the affair, called the shop man a liar
The shop man, he threw out and no doubt, he did clout
McEldoo he kicked about like an old football
Tattered all his clothes, broke his nose, I suppose
He would have killed him with a few blows in no time at all
McEldoo began to howl and to growl, by my soul
Threw an empty bowl at the shop keeper's head
Struck poor Mickey Flynn, peeled the skin from his chin
An a ruction did begin and we all fought and bled
Peelers did arrive, man alive, four or five
At us they made a drive for us all to march away
We paid for all the meat that we ate, stood a trait
And went home to ruminate on the spree that day.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 19 October 3:56 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.