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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 17 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 09:45 PM
Acme 21 Feb 17 - 11:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 17 - 11:45 PM
Amos 22 Feb 17 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM
keberoxu 23 Feb 17 - 01:01 PM
keberoxu 23 Feb 17 - 07:02 PM
keberoxu 24 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 17 - 06:53 PM
Amos 24 Feb 17 - 10:04 PM
Acme 24 Feb 17 - 11:59 PM
gnu 25 Feb 17 - 10:51 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 12:24 PM
keberoxu 25 Feb 17 - 12:48 PM
Amos 25 Feb 17 - 01:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 17 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 10:16 PM
Acme 26 Feb 17 - 10:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Feb 17 - 02:31 PM
keberoxu 26 Feb 17 - 03:50 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 17 - 09:19 PM
Amos 27 Feb 17 - 04:21 PM
Amos 27 Feb 17 - 06:03 PM
Acme 27 Feb 17 - 11:17 PM
gnu 28 Feb 17 - 04:01 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 17 - 10:05 PM
keberoxu 01 Mar 17 - 05:55 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 17 - 09:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Mar 17 - 10:53 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 17 - 01:38 PM
gnu 02 Mar 17 - 02:08 PM
keberoxu 02 Mar 17 - 02:28 PM
gnu 02 Mar 17 - 05:39 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 17 - 08:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Mar 17 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 17 - 08:46 PM
Amos 04 Mar 17 - 02:07 AM
gnu 04 Mar 17 - 08:33 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Mar 17 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 04 Mar 17 - 10:32 PM
Acme 04 Mar 17 - 11:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Mar 17 - 04:33 AM
gnu 05 Mar 17 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Mar 17 - 08:40 PM
keberoxu 06 Mar 17 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 06 Mar 17 - 08:51 PM
Rapparee 06 Mar 17 - 10:24 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 08:10 PM

Hi, Mom! I have been offered a job in Washington DC! President Bannon has created a new cabinet level department called The Department of Fictitious Events and it needs a secretary. The DOFE's chief responsibility will be creating non-existent terror attacks.

President Bannon feels that nearly fourteen years of creating lies, prevarications, and other forms of humbug here at the MOAB is more than adequate qualification for the position.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 09:32 PM

Don't forget to mention our brave Space Corps, who have been fighting for the freedom of the USA and the Solar System! Here's a link showing them fighting off three attacking alien (probably ISIS, the InterStellar Icarian Soldiers) craft all at once.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 09:45 PM

If you ARE a patriot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 11:18 PM

I put a batch of oatmeal in the crockpot now for tomorrow morning. I'm trying to cut out sugar from my diet, but I can't help myself, I have to kind of pave the top of the hot cereal with brown sugar before I pour on the milk. Maybe if MOM is around in the kitchen I'll be better and use less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 11:45 PM

It's okay to eliminate sugar from your diet, just as long as you double up on the butter, lard, and bacon fat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 17 - 04:51 PM

You could use honey, or if you're a real techie, a compound of aspartame and ground spandex...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM

Mom, it's tomorrow at 5:30 a.m. Mom, I checked and God doesn't get up that early!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 01:01 PM

But Amos, did you finally get everything squared away with the California buyer who was complicating everything? Hope that's done and dusted now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 07:02 PM

Okay, while His Imperial Tyrannosaurus Rap is mending from the barber-chirurgien's attentions, one of us had better hoist MOM up here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM

Someone's got to do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 06:53 PM

Here I sit, typing with one finger because my left arm is swathed in a splint and bandages. The pain is so great that I am fighting to stay conscious. But I am one of Mom's and I will survive this!













!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 10:04 PM

Such intrepid courage in the face of overwhelming adversity God rarely calls up in mortal men. Rapp is clearly a mountain of a man--snowcapped, wide-waisted, hard to climb, impenetrable and fond of posing on the horizon.

The bad buyer failed us but we have been in escrow for a week now with Good Buyers, who are Asian and young and earnest and have a sugar daddy, so we believe all will be completed successfully by 15 March. Pray for our escrow, paramount in the annals of human history!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 11:59 PM

So the bad buyer went farther than her previous few attempts, but still didn't manage to finally buy a house. I wonder if Realtors® keep a little list. Not to blacklist (shudder at the thought!), but of those clients who, should said Realtors® encounter them, be held to a higher standard because they are known to be unreliable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:51 AM

This video is not available.
Sorry about that

You Tube hates me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 12:24 PM

85.8 inches of s***w so far this winter, surpassing the old second-highest record.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 12:48 PM

Your Imperial Rapness,
when will you know whether or not you are clear to travel to Norway as planned? If you can still go, that will make the pain -- almost -- worthwhile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 01:35 PM

Rapp: Why are you collecting such an ungodly amount of slaw? Even Old King Cole didn't eat 85 inches of it! It would choke a horse!

Enquiring minds, etc. ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 01:55 PM

85.8 inches of slaw is not so much. Check out this picture of three folk musicians preparing a batch of slaw to take to a potluck picking party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:15 PM

85.5 inches of snew, Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:16 PM

K, probably on the 7th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 10:20 AM

Twelve hours till she drops off the page, but MOM is near the bottom so I'll boost her up. And while I'm at it here's a cuppa tea.

What is this snow slaw you speak of? A salad or a dessert?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 02:31 PM

It is neither snow nor slaw. It is stew. Exactly what is meant by "85.8 inches of stew" is a bit of a mystery. Is it measured vertically, as if a cup of stew were tossed into the air? Is it measured horizontally, as if a pot of stew were spilled on th floor? And, if measured horizontally, is it a measurement of the spill's furthest reach, its diameter, or its area? Or is it a measurement of volume? (85.8 cubic inches of stew would fit in a cube roughly 4.5 inches per side.) And does it matter whether the stew is made with beef or lamb?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 03:50 PM

Oh dear, Rapparee, that is rather a wait. Hope you have decent pain meds in the meanwhile, and you will have to get through Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday and everything whilst you wait. And the first Sunday in March, and the return of "Once Upon A Time" on ABC network, and all that.

Amos, what a pain about the curled-up-in-a-ball buyer or however you described her, and I hope the new prospective buyers come through for you.

GNu, I am sorry that You Tube hates you. Sometimes You Tube hates me as well. Anyway maybe some of that snow melted? A lot of it has melted down here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 09:19 PM

I hope, Amos, you got to keep the earnest money. And folks, Amos' moving was videotaped! Now you can share the excitement!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 04:21 PM

We chose not to prosecute. But you are mistaken--that can't be our moving day. There was no sherriff involved, and we don't even have a goldfish, silly wabbit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 06:03 PM

The general consensus of those I have met in these parts is that we have landed in a special town, vital and warm-hearted, physically beautiful and both civic- and civil-minded. I believe this is correct, and it is the reason I moved here. I have met double handfuls of people of all kinds of interesting walks of life and every one of them has been kindly, civil, and welcoming.

Two blocks from my front por h the mighty Eno River wends its way through the forest and the lonesome whistle of that southern railroad train calls out across the hills and valleys. I don't need much more than that! Well, Home Depot, but it's only a few miles down the road.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 11:17 PM

Seems to me the US Post Office has a kit for moving and forwarding your mail that has a pretty good Home Depot coupon in it, at least they used to. I'd pick them up at the post office every so often for shopping.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 04:01 PM

"... the US Post Office has a kit for moving and forwarding your mail that has a pretty good Home Depot coupon in it..."

Now, that there is good old Yankee style marketing!

A, the train whistles may blow more often now that Agent Orange has signed an executive order to allow dumping coal ash into surface waters. Buy some water filter company stock. Buy some water filters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 10:05 PM

The Eno? Known to the Eno people as "The River of Ghosts"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Mar 17 - 05:55 PM

better hoist MOM up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 17 - 09:11 PM

A little class 1 whitewater -- why Amos moved,

There's some real kayaking back East, but it ain't the Eno. Of course, he could try something New, or come visit me and I'll introduce him to some nice placid water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Mar 17 - 10:53 PM

Thanks for hoisting Mom up, keb. Of course, up is the only way to hoist, isn't it? You can't hoist down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 01:38 PM

Sure you can! Just turn it ndsᴉpǝ poʍu˙


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 02:08 PM

Got my property tax bill. The new aerial photography thingy they have in place works great! They were able to see that I hired out the replacement my front and rear steps with precast Portland Cement concrete steps with nice aluminum railings, the addition of vinyl siding on my garage, and the installation a ********** **** **** (I have my reason for the *s). All that from an eye in the sky! My property assessment increased by $10,300! Mum's, next door, went up $300. So, I added up my improvements and they totalled $9997.96. They overvalued the improvements by $2.14. But HEY! That's from way up in a heavier than air flying machine so I ain't gonna ask fer no review of the change. Ask the gubmint ANYthong and yer just askin' fer yer troubles eh? On top of that, my bill increased by $197.69 so that's peanuts compared to what they would do if I dared to ask them "WTF? You wanna buy the sumbitch for the assessed value right now in THIS housing market you fuckin assholes?" You can see my point, I am sure. On the other hand, if I did want to sell or had to sell, the increase in the assessed value gives me a better position in the market place so getting screwed to the tune of ONLY $200 a year is a hell of a bargain and, these days, finding anything that's a bargain when it comes to the gubmint is as rare as hen's teets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 02:28 PM

That's our Gnu,
givin' 'em hell with or without snow to shovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 05:39 PM

NOOOO! NOT giving them hell is what is prudent and proper. I am only a GNU when called for. I am a gnu when called for. And, this is the time to be a gentle, dumb animal and let the lions circle... to my advantage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 08:39 PM

That's ALL the increase???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Mar 17 - 10:40 AM

Hi Mom and kids! Try this: Next time you eat in some presumptuous restaurant that prints its menu prices as whole numbers without any currency symbols ("Ribeye Steak 15" instead of "Ribeye Steak $15.00"), try to pay for it using interesting pebbles instead of money. Then, when the server sees fifteen rocks on the little bill plate and asks, "What's this?" just tell him, "The menu said the steak was 'fifteen', not 'fifteen dollars'. If you want to be paid with money, print a menu that has prices in dollars and cents, like every other business in the country!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 17 - 08:46 PM

US dollars? Australian? Zimbabwean? Canadian? Liberian? Bahamian? Tuvaluan? New Zealand?

They should really specify,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 17 - 02:07 AM

Lovely to see Mom rocketing along so carefree and blithe. It is going down below 40ºF tonight. But we have central heating and a dog. So we'll be fine. Next week, Spring!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Mar 17 - 08:33 AM

They won't take Cdn$.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Mar 17 - 08:09 PM

Words of wisdom for those of us of a certain age:

Think old and you'll be old. Think young and you'll still be old, but you'll also be delusional.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 17 - 10:32 PM

I was delusional in my single digit years, and some would say prenatally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Mar 17 - 11:15 PM

Today I disturbed dust and dog hair as (with the help of my ex) we assembled a new computer desk with a crank for raising and lowering. This work station will let me stand and work and feel better than when I sit all day long at work then come home and sit some more to work on my own stuff.

Amazing how many pieces of equipment are part of this setup. Computer and power supply, printer, scanner, 2 monitors, 2 keyboards and 2 mouse (don't ask) and several external drives. A box for converting VHS tapes to digital AVI files, USB hub, two VHS players, and a whole bunch of stuff I'm forgetting. Only knocked over one thing so far (knock wood). Some of those external drives need to be retired, once I figure out if they all work and what's in them.

MOM probably wouldn't be happy to know that there's still a mess in the den. Large pieces of cardboard and styrofoam packing materials that go to waste because there are no children here to build a fort behind the sofa or in their room.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Mar 17 - 04:33 AM

What? Your dogs don't know how to build a fort from cardboard and styrofoam? Mine does. Of course, you have to expand the definition of "building a fort" to include chewing, shredding and spreading all over the yard. "Gee, Dad, looks like a fort to me! See how I've incorporated that hole I dug yesterday into the design? It's the dungeon."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Mar 17 - 01:40 PM

Acme... "... A box for converting VHS tapes to digital AVI files..." Pray tell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 17 - 08:40 PM

3.5 inches (8.89 cm) of snow, or about an inch (2.54 cm) per hour on the ground as of 1800 MST (0100 6 March 2017 UTC). So I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt, trousers (don't go out without 'em!), and boot good down to -40F (-40C). Oh, and a splint on my left arm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Mar 17 - 06:39 PM

well, that was close


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 17 - 08:51 PM

I shall be very glad to be rid of this splint!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 17 - 10:24 PM

55800. Who woulda thunk it?


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