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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 07 May 05 - 08:53 PM
Acme 08 May 05 - 01:30 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 08 May 05 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 09 May 05 - 08:59 AM
Rapparee 09 May 05 - 03:30 PM
Acme 09 May 05 - 03:33 PM
Bunnahabhain 09 May 05 - 06:42 PM
Rapparee 09 May 05 - 06:47 PM
Acme 09 May 05 - 11:06 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 09 May 05 - 11:40 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 May 05 - 06:29 AM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 08:33 AM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 08:35 AM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 08:36 AM
Amos 10 May 05 - 08:43 AM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 12:34 PM
GUEST 10 May 05 - 12:48 PM
Acme 10 May 05 - 01:10 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 May 05 - 01:19 PM
Acme 10 May 05 - 03:02 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 May 05 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 10 May 05 - 03:50 PM
Bunnahabhain 10 May 05 - 06:01 PM
Rustic Rebel 10 May 05 - 07:57 PM
Acme 10 May 05 - 10:49 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 10 May 05 - 11:49 PM
Bunnahabhain 11 May 05 - 07:00 AM
Rapparee 11 May 05 - 08:51 AM
GUEST,Nervous Nellie 11 May 05 - 08:56 AM
GUEST,The Lurker In The Dark 11 May 05 - 11:17 AM
GUEST,O. rangatan 11 May 05 - 11:51 AM
GUEST,Neal Cassidy aka Dean Moriarty 11 May 05 - 11:51 AM
GUEST,Jack Kerouac channeling Kesey 11 May 05 - 01:30 PM
GUEST,Neal Cassady 11 May 05 - 02:00 PM
Bunnahabhain 11 May 05 - 02:02 PM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 11 May 05 - 02:26 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 May 05 - 02:35 PM
Bunnahabhain 11 May 05 - 08:10 PM
Amos 11 May 05 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 11 May 05 - 09:07 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 11 May 05 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 12 May 05 - 08:34 AM
Rapparee 12 May 05 - 08:34 AM
Rapparee 12 May 05 - 08:35 AM
Rapparee 12 May 05 - 08:36 AM
Rapparee 12 May 05 - 08:36 AM
Rapparee 12 May 05 - 08:37 AM
Bunnahabhain 12 May 05 - 08:39 AM
Paco Rabanne 12 May 05 - 09:14 AM
Rapparee 12 May 05 - 09:23 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 05 - 08:53 PM

I had a girl once who drempt me flat, because she was enamored of a football player on the Junior Varsity. But I fended another.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 05 - 01:30 AM

you could call it "Bestial Garden" or some such...wow...

Cute! (been in the garden all day myself--just dropping in to give mom a boost)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 05 - 12:40 PM

Are you all down at the tavern?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 05 - 08:59 AM

Oh, Mother Dear! Here I find you fourth from the Bottom, enqueued to oblivion! Here, let me pull you back from the brink of the abyss!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 05 - 03:30 PM

MOM! Now you cut this out! This is the second time today I've found you near the botton, and this time you were on ONE post away (except that you had my early post today, so you couldn't have fallen off the edge). But you're starting to worry me. (Yes, yes, I know that the others don't seem to care...yes, yes, I'm sure that they do, but they're awfully busy right now doing...things.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 May 05 - 03:33 PM

I tried to get this thread back to the top earlier, Rapaire, but it wouldn't load. Just got the error message that the page was unavailable. I'm glad you were there to catch her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 09 May 05 - 06:42 PM

I blame the tavern, and the ensuing evils of drink. A computer that was refusing to start didn't help either.

Your random person of the day is:

Gundulf 1024-1108. Norman prelate, bishop of Rochester and architect of the tower of London.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 05 - 06:47 PM

My random person of the day is:

Gortlik of Unheda (135,034 - 135,082 BCE): eaten by a leopard while trying to perfect the spear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:06 PM

Looks like a new game that I've missed (perhaps with a movie tie-in? The new Ridley Scott one, possibly?). Any links?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:40 PM

I don't have a random person of the day. I have a random monkey. His name is Excelsior and he is a garden variety Rhesus monkey. Nothing special about him. He doesn't have a random person either. He has a random flea. The flea's name is Brian. Brian doesn't have a random anything. He doesn't need it. Brian thinks the Universe revolves around him. He's correct. Well... sorta. The Universe actually "revolves" in a very complex figure-eight-like pattern. Brian is the center of one lobe. The center of the other lobe is a jellyfish-like creature named Burtfuhlsnizh who lives on a planet orbiting a star in another galaxy some five billion light-years away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 May 05 - 06:29 AM

Thanks BWL. Mentioning rhesus monkeys reminded me I should go and give blood. Rhesus factors.

Surely you can orbit in a figure 8 pattern, but not revolve?

Random person of the day.

James Speight 1834-1887. Born Yorkshire, Died after founding the best brewery in New Zealand.

Britian should have enough taste to make a proper brewer the largest in the country as well. Grrrrrr.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:33 AM

Wilfreda, Daughter of Utwulf of the Bog (756 - 777). Died, as she lived, whining about her twin brother, Wilfred, who died at the same time whining about his twin sister. Neither ever did much besides eat, drink, whine, and burp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:35 AM

James Constable (1813 - 1840). The least said about him the better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:36 AM

Paul N. Drom (6600 BCE -    ): Mathematician and mystic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:43 AM

From the Random Essay generator:

An essay on B.S. Generation

To delve deeply into B.S. Generation is an exciting adventure. Underestimate B.S. Generation at your peril. While much has been written on its influence on contemporary living, B.S. Generation is not given the credit if deserves for inspiring many of the worlds famous painters. Often it is seen as both a help and a hinderence to the upper echelons of progressive service sector organisations, who form the last great hope for our civilzation. Hold onto your hats as we begin a journey into B.S. Generation.

Social Factors

Society is a simple word with a very complex definition. The immortal and indispensable phrase 'honesty is the best policy' [1] was clearly refering to the impact of B.S. Generation on today's society. A society without B.S. Generation is like a society without knowledge, in that it cleary plays a significant role amongst the developing middle classes.

Status, Security, Fame - B.S. Generation, all revolve around this 'golden fleece'. It breaks the mould, shattering man's misunderstanding of man.

Economic Factors

Our world is driven by supply and demand. We will study the Simple-Many-Pies model, a lovely model.
Oil
Prices        


B.S. Generation

There are a number of reasons which may be attributed to this unquestionable correlation. My personal view is that oil prices plays in increasingly important role in the market economy. Many analysts fear a subsequent depression.

Political Factors

Politics - smolitics! Comparing international relations since the end of the century can be like observing B.S. Generation and former Wolves striker Steve Bull.

In the words of style icon Bonaventure Lionel Forbes Dickinson 'You can lead a horse to water, big deal.' [2] He was first introduced to B.S. Generation by his mother. Perhaps the word which sums up the importance of B.S. Generation to politics is 'participation'.

One thing's certain. The Human species liberally desires B.S. Generation, and what's more human than politics?
Conclusion

To conclude B.S. Generation deserves all of the attention it gets. It enlightens our daily lives, applauds greatness and figures show it's a winning formular.

Here with the final word is Hollywood's Courteney Morissette: 'I love B.S. Generation? Yes! Hurray for B.S. Generation!' [3]




[1] Traditional - possibly first said by King Arthor... but probably not.

[2] Dickinson - I Am The Dickinster - 1999 Hughs Books

[3] Get On The Bus - Issue 321 - Media Books


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 12:34 PM

Effusia Winthorpe Stanley-Morton (1837-1896): Hereditary Duchess of Dungfields; recognized mistress of the Afternoon Tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 10 May 05 - 12:48 PM

James Eduard Valerie Gustaph Lorenzo Tetley(1817-1897) 2nd Earl Grey - known as the Afternoon Tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 05 - 01:10 PM

You're just sneaking up on that next nifty number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 May 05 - 01:19 PM

ya think so? We don't need to sneak though - 'cause Flamingo Tod is tied up over wishing Jon in Hull congratulations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:02 PM

You think he's so enamored of the rat catcher trade that he'll stay over there for a while?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:06 PM

Rat Catcher is very prestigious!

Good Queen Bess brings her rat Catcher Emrys Fleet with her on progress every summer when she comes to Warwickshire. He's quite an impressive man - and has a very talented dancing weasel named Wilbur. He also runs the Rat Puck tourney and has a special breed of rats both for that and for use in his giant 4 foot slingshots. High speed Vermin! Very exciting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:50 PM

His name is Enema Fleet? I bet he had a rough time a Army roll call. But then I assume that Fleet is swift, and that his calling deals with squirming vermin worming their way into the Queen's chamber and disturbing her much-needed beauty rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 10 May 05 - 06:01 PM

She was impressed, and he has been retained to thorughly inspect the royal chambers twice a week, to the queens satisfaction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 10 May 05 - 07:57 PM

You're either on the bus or off the bus. Ken Kesey. (The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe)

To be on the bus your trippin' in a day-glo vision of an earthling with a sense of tasting purple.
To be off the bus your a ralph or a fred with a vision of tasting Bee-Dubya-ell.


(I think I've run out of bullshit-must revive!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 05 - 10:49 PM

RR, that's a good start. BWL can be Dean Moriarty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 May 05 - 11:49 PM

Why yes, of course! I'll gladly be Dean Moriarty!

Does one suppose it is mere coincidence that Dean Moriarty was a pseudonym for Neal Cassidy who was the guy who drove the bus of which Kesey said "You're either on the bus or off the bus." in The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test? Nah! No such thing as coincidence. And I'm pretty good at spinning a slegehammer in the air and catching it by the handle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 May 05 - 07:00 AM

I don't know about sledgehammers, but I was practicing with a broom last night. What else do you do when you're short a lady for the set?

And we dance in the street to hold up traffic....


Bunnhabahin


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 05 - 08:51 AM

Tomorrow I have to go up in the attic at work and take pictures. People go there very rarely, and this will be my first time. To get there you have to climb up a ladder into a very small storage space, and then climb again up through a trapdoor. The last person who went up there was the guy who added antifreeze to the fire sprinkler system. He said it was full of blown-in insulation and dust. I'll be wearing a paint-spray mask and a hard hat and old clothes. I have to to this so that I can take pictures of the roof for the Historical Commission. Later on I'll have to climb up on the roof again so that I can take some more pictures of the outside of the roof. That's the roof on the old building, of course. It's cedar shingles and the outside layer is 50 years old; the one under it probably dates from 1907. I want to replace it with a look-alike that won't burn, but I'll need about thirty grand to do it, so it anyone wants to help a lovely old building that's on the National Register just PM me and I'll tell you where to send the check. Mind you, I don't think that old roof is leaking -- it's just that this is a pre-emptive strike. But the Historical Commission has money and access to even more money and why shouldn't they spent it on my library? So tomorrow I'll climb up into the attic and take pictures, even though this is probably one of the last things I really want to do. I really want to stay home and get paid big money and have great benefits, but I'm told that that isn't likely to happen, so tomorrow I'm going to climb up into the attic.

I thought you all should know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Nervous Nellie
Date: 11 May 05 - 08:56 AM

Make sure you check in with MOAB when you get back so that we know you aren't writhing in agony somewhere in the insulation


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Lurker In The Dark
Date: 11 May 05 - 11:17 AM

Oh, yes. DO go up into the attic. Oh yes, please. It gets so, so, lonesome up here and I get so very, very hungry for human, ah, companionship.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,O. rangatan
Date: 11 May 05 - 11:51 AM

Don't Mess with Librarians, lurker.

You have been warned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Neal Cassidy aka Dean Moriarty
Date: 11 May 05 - 11:51 AM

Bunn - Spinning a slegehammer in the air and catching it by the handle was one of the things I was really good at. I could make it spin ten, fifteen, twenty times and catch it by the handle every time. Never missed. Requires intense concentration and lightning reflexes. Not a pastime for the Flamenco Teds of the world.



WHOA!!! What in the fuck was that???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Jack Kerouac channeling Kesey
Date: 11 May 05 - 01:30 PM

Does one suppose it is mere coincidence that Dean Moriarty was a pseudonym for Neal Cassidy who was the guy who drove the bus of which Kesey said "You're either on the bus or off the bus." in The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test? Nah! No such thing as coincidence.

Well, Duh Glad you made the connection!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Neal Cassady
Date: 11 May 05 - 02:00 PM

knock knock knock


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 May 05 - 02:02 PM

...was one of the things I was really good at.I could make it spin ten, fifteen, twenty times and catch it by the handle every time.

But 21 spins and you caught it in the head instead? Only a fred could suvive that...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 05 - 02:26 PM

Or a giant squid. . . Hmmmm. Has anyone been over to check up on the folks at the tavern? Did the squid get fried via toaster shock in the hot tub, or did he escape (8-armed and dangerous) from that sticky situation he found himself in?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 May 05 - 02:35 PM

Last I saw Alice was after the squid. Surely she isn't *that/ dangerous. or is she?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 May 05 - 08:10 PM

The squid had spotted an identical pair of bagpies in very short shirts, and has been trying to seduce them all evening.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 05 - 08:24 PM

SCIENTISTS LEVITATE HEAVIEST ELEMENTS WITH HELP FROM COLD OXYGEN, May 11
Scientists at the University of Nottingham have successfully levitated diamond and some of the heaviest elements, including lead and platinum. Using liquid oxygen to increase the buoyancy created by a specially designed superconducting magnet, they could now levitate a hypothetical object with a density 15 times larger than that of the densest known material, osmium. This research is published today (11th May 2005) in the New Journal of Physics co-owned by the Institute of Physics and Deutsche Physikalische Gesellschaft (the German Physical Society).
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news4059.html

RESEARCHERS BUILD A ROBOT THAT CAN REPRODUCE, May 11
One of the dreams of both science fiction writers and practical robot builders has been realized, at least on a simple level: Cornell University researchers have created a machine that can build copies of itself.
Admittedly the machine is just a proof of concept -- it performs no useful function except to self-replicate -- but the basic principle could be extended to create robots that could replicate or at least repair themselves while working in space or in hazardous environments, according to Hod Lipson, Cornell assistant professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering, and computing and information science, in whose lab the robots were built and tested.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news4055.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 05 - 09:07 PM

Thought for the day:

If you consider that there have been an average of 160,000 troops in
theater during the last 22 months, that gives a firearm death rate of
60 per 100,000. The rate in DC is 80.6 per 100,000.

That means that you are more likely to be shot and killed in our
Nation's Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in
the nation, than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington, D. C.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 May 05 - 11:38 PM

...they could now levitate a hypothetical object with a density 15 times larger than that of the densest known material, osmium.

I beg to differ. The densest known material is the brain of a seventeen-year-old girl named Heather living in Redondo Beach, California.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 05 - 08:34 AM

It's okay, Mom.

...And I will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of my hand.


And I won't even clap then, Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 05 - 08:34 AM

Why must I be the chosen one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 05 - 08:35 AM

Should I not leave this onerous chore for others?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 05 - 08:36 AM

No, my sense of duty compells me. Duty, Honor, County, Booze -- that's my motto.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 05 - 08:36 AM

And money. And fame. And groupies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 05 - 08:37 AM

But mostly, NO FLAMING TED!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 May 05 - 08:39 AM

Wehave pulled out of Washington. Once in the 1770's when the place was a useless swamp, and again in 1812, when we burnt the place for good measure.Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. But will you daft colonials take a hint? We can come and do it again if you like, and this time probably get support from the several states, and France. Lots of people in fact...

So she followed her Red-coats, whatever they did,
From the heighs of Quebec to the plains of Assaye,
From Gibralter to Acre, Cape Town and Madrid,
And nothing about her changed on the way;
(But most of the Empire which we now possess
Was won through the years with the old fashioned Brown Bess.)


Bunnhabhain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 12 May 05 - 09:14 AM

Did somebody call?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 05 - 09:23 AM

Brown Bess? Brown Bess???!!???

The perhaps-legendary Tim Murphy and his double-barrelled rifle, perhaps. The Riflemen of Kentucky. The Whitworth rifle of the Civil War era. Billy Dixon and his Sharps at the Second Battle of Adobe Walls. Even the jezails of the Afghan passes.

Speak to me no more of Browm Bess.


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