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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

beardedbruce 25 Apr 07 - 03:26 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 07 - 04:35 PM
Amos 25 Apr 07 - 05:02 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 07 - 05:51 PM
Acme 25 Apr 07 - 07:08 PM
Amos 25 Apr 07 - 08:40 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 07 - 09:37 PM
Amos 26 Apr 07 - 01:16 AM
beardedbruce 26 Apr 07 - 10:53 AM
Acme 26 Apr 07 - 10:53 AM
Acme 26 Apr 07 - 03:10 PM
Rapparee 26 Apr 07 - 07:39 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 07 - 08:38 AM
Amos 27 Apr 07 - 10:11 AM
Amos 27 Apr 07 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 27 Apr 07 - 12:03 PM
Acme 27 Apr 07 - 12:03 PM
Amos 27 Apr 07 - 12:15 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 07 - 12:18 PM
Amos 27 Apr 07 - 01:42 PM
John Hardly 27 Apr 07 - 02:23 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 07 - 02:25 PM
John Hardly 27 Apr 07 - 02:29 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 07 - 03:22 PM
John Hardly 27 Apr 07 - 03:39 PM
Amos 27 Apr 07 - 04:08 PM
Amos 27 Apr 07 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 07 - 05:11 PM
Acme 27 Apr 07 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 07 - 10:30 AM
GUEST,freds 28 Apr 07 - 11:29 AM
Acme 28 Apr 07 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 28 Apr 07 - 11:54 AM
Acme 28 Apr 07 - 07:35 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 07 - 07:55 PM
Amos 29 Apr 07 - 09:45 AM
Tweed 29 Apr 07 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 07 - 01:39 PM
Acme 29 Apr 07 - 02:15 PM
Amos 29 Apr 07 - 02:30 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 07 - 02:59 PM
Amos 29 Apr 07 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 07 - 03:26 PM
Amos 29 Apr 07 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 07 - 05:58 PM
Amos 29 Apr 07 - 07:01 PM
Amos 29 Apr 07 - 07:16 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 07 - 07:22 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 07 - 08:46 PM
Amos 30 Apr 07 - 12:01 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 03:26 PM

BWL,

NO musicians???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 04:35 PM

No gunsmiths, tinsmiths, ironmongers, whoremongers, drunkards, stump preachers, whitesmiths, thatchers, fishmongers, gamekeepers, poachers, muddlers, vintners, distillers, caners, thimblerigs, brewers, shepherds, goatherds, pipefitters, exorcists, programmers, calligraphers, scribes, shootists, swordfighters, pilots, bakers, gamblers, confectioners, cooks, boilermakers, bartenders -- no nothin'!!

Sheesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 05:02 PM

C'mon, youse guys -- BWL only had twelve jobs to fill here!! If you want to start a 12^2 days of Christmas and start with 144 useless dweebs a-blithering, you can, but you have to do it on your own nickel.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 05:51 PM

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five lousy pimps,
Four calling whores
Three condom makers
Two S-M masters
And a dominatrix with a pair free....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 07:08 PM

Personally, I think my dog's circling tail is more interesting than the tail Rapaire is circling with his little parody.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 08:40 PM

Well of course you,do Mag!! We each have our own special natures, and yours is yours and his'n is his'n. :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 07 - 09:37 PM

Actually, I can't think of any more of it to write. I barely got that much. I'm just not a decadent as I once was, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 01:16 AM

Uhoh!! Degradation of one's decadence is the first symptom of... of... well, I forget of what, but it's the first symptom of it, anyway.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 10:53 AM

Actually, the second sypmtom- The first is memory loss...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 10:53 AM

Well, whatever it's a sign of, it brings up Google ads for "Replacement Tail Lights" and "Particle Size & Shape" (looks like it has to do with close up photography--the link doesn't work, and ends up in a French Canadian site).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 03:10 PM

I suppose I could post the article to the "I Read it in the Newspaper" thread, but I think the news of British actor Hugh Grant "beaning" a photographer is more appropriate here. He did just that--he threw a container of baked beans on a paparazzi on his stoop.

I wonder if he laid in wait in his foyer, beans in hand, just waiting for the opportunity, or if it was a spontaneous reaction and he just happened to be carrying a pot of beans at the time?

It does beg the question: what did they have for dinner instead of baked beans?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 07:39 PM

What did they serve on the breakfast toast?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 08:38 AM

Speaking of breakfast toast, here ya go, Mom. Homemade sourdough bread with farm-made butter and home-made Marionberry jam, scrambled eggs with smoked salmon, and hash browns freshly made from Idaho potatoes, Walla Walla onions, and sharp Tillamook cheddar. And here's a big carafe of freshly ground and brewed Kenya AA from the Heritage Coffee Company in Juneau.

A real Pacific Northwest breakfast, Mom! Bon appetite!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 10:11 AM

When the infamous couplet about beans, the musical fruit, was first written, the kids probably never imagined the harsh and vibrant gong made by a can of the critters bouncing off the pate of a hard-headed paparazzi.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 10:46 AM

Rapaire, admit it. You want your mom to get fat, now, don't you.

That is so weired.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 12:03 PM

No, I didn't catch the salmon in a weir, so it's not weired. I bought them fresh from the fisherfolk, right on the dock.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 12:03 PM

It wasn't a can, it was a plastic container. The photographer apparently ended up covered with beans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 12:15 PM

Price ya pay for trying to cover human beans. I mean, there was a time...

Rapaire, it is below you to take advantage of my fat thumbs in this unchivalrous manner. :-D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 12:18 PM

I didn't know it was a typo. I thought you meant I caught the fish in a weir, and I didn't. The fish were purchased fresh, good Copper River salmon, cleaned, slimed, filleted, and some smoked over oak and some over Alder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 01:42 PM

Well, although I know most babies are found under cabbage leaves or delivered by storks or dropped on the staircase by an angel, in your case I think you must have been found in a weir. All the signs indicate that you were a weired infant.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 02:23 PM

"That's right! This thread is only big enough for one potter, and I'm it!"

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{squeeze}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

...apparently you are right. Maybe if one of us was smaller.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 02:25 PM

I wheel-threw a pot one time. Nice job, too -- and when the Ceramics instructor went to fire it she wondered why it was so heavy. So she cut it lengthwise with a wire and found that my six inch high pot had about five inches of bottom....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 02:29 PM

Might I point out that, unless you have a VERY short finger, a better result than that might have been achieved by the "Jack Horner" method -- take a ball of clay and stick in your thumb.

...and if the ball of clay is setting level on a table, you get a Jack Horner "twofer" -- the ersatz "pot" also being plumb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 03:22 PM

It really was a nice pot. It just wasn't very hollow. So I moved on to other art things, and in the process I learned not to try wheel-throwing cement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 03:39 PM

I'm sure it was a fine pot.

It occurs to me that I have broken the two cardinal rules of thread posting: 1. I did not read all the preceding posts before I added mine (so I have no idea if I am being redundant), and 2. I diverged from the thread topic.

I can only apologize and move on. Actually, if I'm doing both apologizing and moving on, I'm not doing something "only". "Only" would imply the exclusion of all else. Thus, I could either only apologize or only move on. At least that would be my two options if I wanted to continue to use the word "only".

There was a little kid in my neighborhood who pronounced it "olny". Since he would pronounce in no other way, I suppose you could say he only pronounce "only" "olny".

I can apologize and move on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 04:08 PM

It is legal to say "I can only (apologize and move on)", implying that you cannot do other compound subsets such as (chew gum and walk) or (insist on your own rightness in all things and alienate everyon) or (shit fire and sing), for examples.

Not that we would expect the latter two pairs from you --- you are a respected and welcome poster here.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 04:15 PM

Mom!! I am retreating to the mountains for the weekend. See ya later, okay!! Make Rapaire do his penance -- he's about 20 assignments behind....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 05:11 PM

Mom! I'm retreating to the mountains for the weekend! Make Amos do his penance -- he's about 90 sessions behind!



(Well, I'm really going tomorrow.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Apr 07 - 11:38 PM

John managed to pick up the tone for MOAB pretty accurately, even if he didn't read the 17200+ previous posts.

Looks like it'll be a quiet weekend of BOTH Rapaire and Amos are heading for the hills. Leo is probably still out shoveling snow in his back yard, trying to find his daffodils, and we haven't heard from Bunn for a while. Little Hawk is out torturing Shane and Chongo. I'll stop by periodically and give MOM a lift.

Don't mention it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 10:30 AM

I ain't heading nowhere except the bed and the bathroom after last night. I don't know if I ate something bad or if I've gotten what everyone at work, as well as Pat, has had but if I left here it could be...pretty awful.

Oh, if only Mom were here to soothe my fevered, ah, brow! But no! All I get is Gluon humpin' my leg.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 11:29 AM

Are potters a special sort of protein? Do they bake well?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 11:48 AM

Sorry to hear about that, Rap. There's nothing more annoying than wasting your days off being sick, instead of taking sick leave during the week. That really irks me!

freds, whoever gave you information about baking potters was misinformed. It's a crock. (winces and leaves quickly)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 11:54 AM

freds, potters earthy sorts, with hands of clay and glazed eyes, and they often kiln something. Let these slip by and go find a nice, tender, banjo player.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 07:35 PM

Feeling any better?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 07 - 07:55 PM

Something I ate, I think. Sure did want to go visit the Tetons, though. I've killed off a quart and half of Gatorade today, with very little solid food.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 09:45 AM

Killing Gatorade? For fie. Perhaps you should stop eating?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 11:44 AM

M.O.A.B.'S BIRTHDAY IN FIVE DAYS!

ALL HAIL KHANDU, THE GREAT CREATOR AND KING OF THE ETHEREAL KINGDOM OF MISSISSIPPI FOR INVENTING THE LARGEST WASTEBASKET IN THE UNIVERSE!!




In the beginning.....:
Subject: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu - PM
Date: 05 May 03 - 08:31 PM

Another brainstorm of mine, inspired by Tweed, Spaw, Carol the Sailor and their ilk.

We can save time which we spend searching through all the BS threads very easily. Henceforth, post all BS here in this thread. Soon there will be only one BS thread. We won't have to look for particular threads as this will be the only one and it will contain all the BS we have to offer.

My Gawd!! Why has this not been thought of earlier? It is so obvious!

I swear, sometimes I even amaze myself!

Once again, for those of you who are slow in understanding...hear me, Tweed! Post all BS in this thread from now on!

Pene Azul and Joe Offer will thank me for making their job so much easier! My fellow 'Catters will also thank me when they realize the time my idea will save them! Maybe this will finally get me the coveted "Time/Life Man of the Year"!!

I swear, sometimes I even blow my own mind!!

King khandu
Thank you, khandu. I worship at your feet.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 01:39 PM

Here is an old traditional Western folk song I've just written. Please send royalties to Khandu.

Here out West we have a name
For Wind and Rain and Fire
The Fire's "Hot," the Rain is "Wet,"
And we call the Wind Mariah.

Mariah blows the stars around
Horses, trains, and cattle,
The Courthouse roof, the Baptist church,
And Big Sam's baby's rattle.


No, no. No need to thank me. Just send those royalties to Khandu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 02:15 PM

I have in mind a tune that would go with that song. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 02:30 PM

On the MOAB there's a name
For every kind of schism,
And when a man lifts other words,
We call it plagiarism!

It's plagiarism drives us mad,
Where truth is always shifting,
But Rapaire calls it parody
When others' words he's lifting.



A^n


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 02:59 PM

See, Mom? Even when I write something brand new and original I'm accused of Doing Awful Things! Just for that I'm going to go empty the dryer!!! and you'll all be sorry you treated me that way!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 03:06 PM

I apologize, Rapire. I have to acknowledge that you, indeed did write somethings new and original.

They are the following 14 words:

West "Hot,"   "Wet,"
Horses, trains, cattle,
Courthouse roof, Baptist church,
Big Sam's baby's rattle.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 03:26 PM

Also "Here" and "we." That's 16 words.

Do you have any idea of how much WORK that those sixteen words entailed? Do you? My brain was literally smoking from the friction of ideas and words rubbing together! I could have set my head on fire! In fact, I had a fire extinguisher pointed at my head as I wrote. But no, it's treated as if it was nothing at all. If my brain explodes from the knowledge and ideas contained therein it certainly won't be my fault! So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 04:58 PM

Sorry, but "here" and "we" were both part of the original earlier song from which you stole derived yours. So it's fourteen.

As one who has contributed countless original works to MOAB and the Cat, I can only offer my condolences on the strain under which your equipment was recently placed, old friend. This, too, shall pass.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 05:58 PM

"Original" means that no one ever did it/wrote it/whatever it before (it's too much trouble to reach for my dictionary). Therefore my song is original and is sung to the tune of "Yankee Doodle," a ditty in the public domain.

Anything else is purely speculative on your part.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 07:01 PM

Well, this part of your conflation has been done before:

--- out -- we have a name
For Wind and Rain and Fire
The Fire's ---" the Rain is "---"
And we call the Wind Mariah


Andf also the part about stars being blown around.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 07:16 PM

Which was, BTW, 17300!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 07:22 PM

Yes, 17300. I refrained because I am the very soul and definition of self-restraint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 07 - 08:46 PM

Actually, I misspelled the wind's name. It should have been "Mahrier" so that it rhymed with "Fire."

Sorry 'bout that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 07 - 12:01 AM

Well, that explains everything!! So sorry I misunderstood your typo!



A


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